Pride March 2011 short film

no speaker at home, so i was only able to watch and not listen to the video. nonetheless, mejo nagets ko naman ang message.hehe. so saka na ang aking opinyon/comment pag napakinggan ko na. hehe.ok,wala naman pala dialogue.haha. but the song is nice. mejo madrama ng konti, pero it's fun not because one is gay, but simply because you are who you are. pride march is a celebration of identity, of honesty, of community.

from youtube comment:
Song used is Tornado by Jónsi. The edit, the coloring was inspired by this song. You grow, you roar Although disguised I know you You'll learn to know You grow, you grow like tornado You grow from the inside Destroy everything through Destroy from the inside Erupt like volcano You flow through the inside You kill everything through You kill from the inside You'll... You'll learn to know I wonder if I'm allowed just ever to be

Pride March na!!! :)

See you there! :)

Task Force Pride, a non-profit network of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual (LGBT) groups will organize the 17th Annual Pride March in Manila. The aim of the march is to gather different LGBT groups, allies and individuals in solidarity, as well as provide positive visibility to the community.

This year's theme, “Pride of the Orient”, recalls the community's achievements with regard to advancing LGBT human rights, such as... organizing the first pride march in Asia in 1994 and the formation of Ladlad party list, the only LGBT-oriented party list in the world, and extensive HIV/AIDS Awareness campaigns nationwide .

“Pride of the Orient” calls on LGBT Filipinos to reclaim these milestones and look forward to more victories they've yet to achieve.

For Organizations, please confirm in this link:

For Individuals, please confirm in this link:

Registration begins at 1:00 pm at Remedios Circle, Malate, Manila, and Pride March contingents that arrive early will be greeted by a brief program until 4:00 pm. The hosts will explain the event's concept and encourage contingents to come up with a cheer for the march.

The march will begin at 4:15 pm and will end by 5 pm. During this time, the second half of the program will commence. The program will feature LGBT performers as well as brief solidarity messages from prominent LGBT individuals.

The Parade Route is seen in the diagram below:
Parade Route: Remedios Circle - Remedios Street - right to Roxas Blvd. - right to Pedro Gil - right to Jorge Bocobo - back to Remedios Circle - Orosa-Nakpil Streets

Please check the TFP page regularly for updates on the program line-up and the venue. Thanks, and see you all on December 3, 2011 at the Pride March!

For more information you can visit this FB Event Page:

Visit the official website:

email us at:
or SMS us at 09163089903 (Globe), 09333049795 (Sun)

Manila Pride 2011. Registered groups as of 6:23pm Nov.30

Amnesty International Philippines
ProGay Philippines
Filipino Freethinkers
Metropolitan Community Church of Quezon City
Women's Legal and Human Rights Bureau
Pink Rockers
Student Council Alliance of the Philippines
Proud To Be LGBT Campaign
Sangre Youth Society
Deaf Rainbow Philippines
Long Yang Club Manila
Gay Geeks
The Philippine LGBT Hate Crime Watch
Queer Pagan Network
Lesbian Alliance Movement- Lakas ng Kababaihan Para sa Karapatan
GALANG Philippines
Transpinoy FTM
Employee Alliance for GLBT Empowerment at IBM (EAGLE at IBM
Philippine Atheists and Agnostics Society
Asian Icon
Jacobs Royal
Lopez Circle of Elite
Royal Nemesis
Commission on Human Rights Philippines
Elite Circle of Men


Quote in the moment

Ted Failon on Midas Marquez video (supreme court speaker):

"In the first place, what is wrong with being gay?"

Twitter reaction to KC Concepcion-Piolo Pascual breakup:

"Hindi third party ang dahilan ng hiwalayan nila kundi third sex."

"Huwag kayong manghusgay."

On KC's outburst, "I pray for true love." -

"Ang kailangan ni KC true guy."

What a prelude to Dec. 3's Pride March at Malate, 1pm. I will march with friends. 'Hope you can join us for it'll be super fun! :)


Train Crush 24

A true train crush is a girl who'd still standout even on a poo-colored outfit. It takes utmost confidence (& probably lack of clean clothes to wear) and attitude to pull this scarfed poo-colored dress off. She can wear a sack and still be a looker with that unassuming face. I love her bag and that open-mouth-staring-into-space look. It's like she's deliberately posing for me while am deliberately shooting her secretly. ain't that exciting. Hehe.



Waiting for a jeep (because there's bus strike), I saw a burly man with his tummy fitted soiled shirt, a hint of smile on his fatty eyes (yes, he is ewwy obese), walk lightheartedly towards a frail looking man, and whacked the poor unknowing guy on the back of his head numerous times. The bystander man was mutely shocked at what happened and just looked at his aggressor. He was rubbing his head to probably ease the pain (while still looking bewildered) when blood flowed generously from his forehead. The confused guy, just walked away, holding his bleeding head.

The fat, mean guy on the otherhand just walked inside some street with stores as if he's good deed is done.

I was bothered by this. What's more concerning is that people around (there are a lot) just watched. For my sense of justice, i need to understand what happened. I asked a few guys near the scene on why the fat man hit the thin guy. And they all said they don't know. Well, maybe watching is enough for them. So I sought for some form of authority and saw an MMDA man (who looked as clueless as me with traffic signs) and recounted the crime. He was reluctant to move but because I was dressed corporate, I think he was forced to imitate action and asked around. I was looking at him, waiting for the result of his investigation. He looked back and mouthed "snatcher" as if that explains everything.

Putangina! So anybody can just whack anybody?! With the justification that it's an assumed bad person?! That's twisted and scary.

Sometimes I wonder if we, as a civilization has progressed at all or degressed. Or maybe that's how they interpreted back to the basics. Hayyyy. Hindi ako ang natubo, pero sumakit ang ulo ko.



Merong girl who implied na crush nya ako. Well she used the term "gusto". Hindi ko ito pinansin masyado pero aminin ko naman na kinilig ako. :) so masaya lang kaming nagtampisaw sa possibilities without overthinking things. *translation we're friends with undertones*. Minsan, a friend openly said crush nya si girl. Ewanko, for someone who's not that interested, I suddenly felt territorial and pikon. "Hoy! Gusto na ko nyan kaya sorry ka na lang at please wag ka na umeksena. Hindi ka papasa sa kanya!" Affected much, naknampucha.

While am not vocal nor i equally reciprocate her attention and gestures, i appreciate all of them. Am just cautious, and know as psychics are sure, it's a long shot for us. Then sa gitna ng hindi inaasahan, sinabi nyang may crush sya, AT hindi ako itoh! Gumuho ang kastilyong binuo ko sa ulap. Aminin ko uli, may kurot akong naramdaman. Kung kurot ito sa puso or pride, hindi ko na masabi. But the feeling is not pleasant. Syempre, gusto ko syang sumbatan. Akala ko ba gusto mo ko?! Bakit may crush ka pa?! Andaya mo. :(

Napaisip ako, ano ba ang mas matimbang, crush or gusto? I dont feel special anymore from her kasi nakadistribute naman pala ang affection nya. In short, am not the center of her universe and it's not fun. Kasi honestly, selfish ako. Kaya pasensya na lang si kawawang ako. :(

Minsan gusto ko syang barahin, "Tigilan mo na nga ang kakakwento mo sa perpekto mong crush at ikaw lang ang natutuwa!"

Mahirap pala talagang maging masaya para sa iba kung hindi naman ikaw ang ikinasisiya nito. Hay.

Kumpara sa crush nyang perpekto, ako'y puro na gasgas. Kumbaga, damaged good na, pero mayaman naman sa character. Hah!

Kaya kung ano mang nurtured feeling meron ako for her, hindi na mahalaga. Kung panong may crush na sya, I crushed this small & promising feeling for her naman. Wala, tampo na. Hehe. Back to earth na uli. Dahil dyan, train crush mode muna. :)


Bite size

I have longed to cup your beautiful face and plant butterfly kisses to your lovely skin. And then press my wanting nipples to your soft breast while tonguing your mouth, sucking all the sweetness you have to offer & gently nipping your lips till it subtly hurt & bleed and then suck it again. Because there is pleasure in pain sick it maybe to some.

Payo-payong bukid 2

Ganun talaga. May umaalis, may dumadating, may naiiwan. Masanay ka na. Lahat ng bagay pahiram lang. Ang mga pangako ay totoo lang sa kasalukuyan. Lahat walang pinanghahawakan sa bukas. Kaya wag kang umasa sa pangako. Madisdisapppoint ka lang. Matuwa ka at magpasalamat sa kung ano ang binigay sa yo. One day at a time. Tomorrow is another life. Kaya relax ka lang and always make today your best. =)

Payo-payong bukid

Hayaan mo na sya. Wag ka kasing swapang! Kung gusto nyang makipaglandian sa iba pabayaan mo sya. May better pang dadating na kaya kang hintayin! Sigurado yan. Basta continue to amass fans/admirers/friends para malibang ka at hindi mo na maisip ang pokpok na yun. Minsan akala natin sila na pero after giving it the test of time, hindi pa pala. Kaya wag ka 'ding makati dyan. Dedmahin mo na. Hayaan mo syang lumapit sa yo kung gusto ka pa nya. Tandaan! Hindi lang sya ang babae sa mundo! Sangkatutak sila! For the meantime, magpa-yummy ka muna kapatid. :)


Dream on!

Been passing by this window display for days now. It shares a dream of happily ever after, of fluffy clouds as couples stare at the sky while lying down on a grass of blanket, of sparkling glasses and spirits from intimate dinner dates, of soft, tender touches on each other's skin to say I adore you, of pure white intention and devotion. Am just blown away by this wedding gown! It's so whimsical that makes me think of my own wedding in the future.

But before that, I have to worry about what to wear first on our ofc mismas party and for pride march! Hehe. Eksena lang kung ganyan suotin ko. Haha.


Sa sobrang late or early (I dunno what to call it anymore since umaabot ako early morn) ko umuuwi from work, I have this nagging feeling na threatened na sa kin ang mga security guards.

And what bewilders me so much is sa sobrang pagod ko lagi, I still have the energy to be sad. Of all the. Hayz.

Am grumpy, depressed, exhausted, short-fused, hagggard. Yes, ako na! Ang negatron, negastar, negamall, negan fox, pati nega sardines isama na natin.

pag madaling araw na at ako na lang ang tao sa ofc, napapa-reality check ako. Why is it so hard? Is this worth it? Will my epitaph read, "worked to death"?! Yikes!

Actually, I won't mind the ot as much had they only removed the network firewall. E mga korni ang boss sa min. Alila ka na nga, kj pa mga tao. Pano ko pa nyan machecheck yung nagkakacrush daw sa akin sa isang tumblr site? Naman! Bawal ba maging masaya?

Nananawagan po ako kay Universe. Please save me from this ungrateful job bago pa matuyot ang lahat ng alindog at juiciness sa katawan ko!

Sabi ni clusivol, bawal magkasakit. At sabi din ng mga kunsintidor, masarap ang bawal. Ergo, masarap magkasakit? Kaya okay lang mag-OA na overtime? Haha. Wala, sabaw na utak ko. Walang sustansya at substansya. Hayz.

Doesn't make sense

For the life of me why do people want to listen first thing in the morning of killings, abuse, crime?
Does it perk them up better than coffee? Does it make them appreciate and value life more? Why does the 'esteemed' broadcasters like ted failon, noli de castro, mike enriquez, Arnold clavio still venture into sensationalism? Isn't it ironic that the more they sensationalise, the more we get desensitised from the hair tips down to our toes?

I so hate it that I have to endure my colorum ride of 1.5-2 hrs being blasted with nega vibes from the radio. The only recourse is to earplug with fear of damaging my eardrums to mask the loud negatunes.

This is one of the perks of having your own vehicle which I hope to have in the near future. As preparation, will have driving lesson this December. yey!

So I guess tiis for now. :)

In transit

In retrospect, I would have done things differently or better.

Given the gift of insight and after experiencing the past, it is logical that we'll do better. If we'll be brutally honest about it, rarely is the case that we'll do exactly the same. So I admit, I fucked up on many areas of my life. Like i wish i studied more seriously, that i saved early in life, that i could have made better choices, that i should have focused on what really matters like health, family, and faith. I do have regrets since I now know better. But it's a moot point now. What matters is it's not yet too late and starting over is allowed.

I would have done things differently or better. But I did what is doable and right then. And I forgive myself for my mistakes. So let me say, am just beginning. :)

Tom-Bi Crisis

I have a crisis. Been dreaming,of men on separate instances. This makes me question if am a closet bi. In my conscious state, I can't even bring myself to visualize being intimate again with men. Anything below the belt makes me cringe. And yet in deep slumber am romancing with the cringeable and the unimaginable! So I am getting convinced that maybe am experiencing identify crisis? Else going wacko.

Or it could be that dreams really are random snapshots of my short term memory. Since I work mostly with guys, and admittedly admire some guys' power, influence and affluence that they get carried to the dream sequence.

I can also blame this to lack of out female gays to admire in the Philippines. Thus at moments like this when I appreciate seeing the obvious, the visible, easy to spot female gays. They give me hope that we exist in increasing number. And last I checked we're still more fab.

I thank God for Ellen de Generes, Portia de Rossi, Cythia Nixon, Indigo Girls, Rachel Maddow, Chely Wright, Wanda Sykes, Jodie Foster, Aiza Seguerra (incredible artistic chops), Miriam Santiago (well, she does have balls you know. Hehe), and of course my friends here. You give me hope and sana wonderful dreams too. :)


Weekend Gimik

To be sold are 2ndhand / pre-loved / used clothes, footwear, appliances, toys, books & magazines, school & office supplies, decor, kitchen & dining equipment, art supplies, bags & luggage and so much more.

Who doesn't love a bargain? We'll have at least 20 merchants selling their vintage, 2ndhand, used but still usable goods, at almost-give-away super-low prices. This free entrance event is open to everyone who loves a bargain, so come on over & join us at the Flea Market!


Kristen I love

i've never seen any of the Twilight franchise, nor read them. but i've seen Kristen Stewart this year in two movies, without her bra on, in her thongs, kissing a girl, her bun showing, said pussy, cooter & fuck as often as people say "hi" in email.

Twilight catapulted her to stardom and I guess its success afforded her to risk on small budget, quality films. so in that sense i don't think she's a sell out. but i will still not watch nor read Twilight, same with Harry Potter. although i think i did once on spousal duty.

what most Twilight disciples don't know about Kristen is that she's a very flexible actress. and maybe out of rebellion or contrast on the Bella corset she's been fitted in, the other roles she had were hard core aggressive. she's been a tomboy kid, a tomboy looking diabetic kid, a lesbian rock star, and a stripper. you can see the progression. hehe. for the last two roles, she rarely wore bra. am not complaining really, specially when they showed her wonderful behind several times in Welcome to the Rileys (it's available in most pirated DVD stores/bangketa). she's the cutest stripper i've seen when she wore that panty with smiley at the back.

so i think not being a frothing fan of Twilight made me appreciate her more and would want to know her more.

i dunno with you, but i strongly sense this girl-to-girl vibe with her. if i'd make a list of women i wish were gay, she'd probably be in my top 10.=) As proof am not making these up as anti-Twilight campaign, here are her top un-Bella pics.

*i've seen The Runaways this August, Welcome to the Rileys last night and the Twilight: Breaking Dawn posters last Friday*

in The Safety of Objects (2001) as a tomboy kid

in Panic Room (2002), 
as the diabetic, tomboy-looking daughter 
of forever rumored gay, Jodie Foster

lesbian mom with tomboy daughter. very nice no?:)

cool mom-daughter pair!

mygosh, even cooler mom-daughter pair 
who can even pass up as lovers!

in The Runaways as rock star Joan Jett (lesbian)

no bra and in her undies

still no bra
yes, still no bra

with the real Joan Jett

in Welcome to the Rileys (2010) as a teenage stripper

molten hot in her g-string

uber cute in her cute panty!


divine intervention

Divine is but the the third "female gay" to enter Pinoy Big Brother (PBB). the other two were aleck bovick (rumored), and gaby dela merced (not out) from the celebrity edition. finally an out, hot, androgynous lesbian in the limelight. it's an improved representation of the women loving women community.

now for the boring stuff:

Nickname: Divine
Status: Current Housemate
Real Name: Divine Muego Maitland-Smith *ako na ang next mrs smith after angelina. haha*
Origin: Cebu City
Age: 20
Birthdate:1991-03-09 *wow! piscean! compatible!*
Occupation: tattoo artist/painter
Religion: atheist; believes in a higher power *this confused me*
Hobbies: going to the gym, hanging out with friends, drawing
Favorite Color: purple *super compatible kame! hehe*
Favorite Food: beef steak
Favorite Show: Modern Family, Hell’s Kitchen
Favorite Actor:
Favorite Actress: Angelina Jolie *soo gay. saya!*
Favorite Singer:Usher

She is a proud and out lesbian, and believes that everyone should be treated equally. She only speaks Cebuano and English and has trouble understanding Tagalog.
now that we've dispensed with the formalities, here's the good stuff. =)

^i don't like her makeup here, but i love the hint of a cleavage :D

for more pix of her, her fb fan page is here. let's support! =)



headache is my kryptonite. all the things i love to do i can't do if i have headache - read books, write anything, watch a movie, workout, make kwento, stare at beautiful people. even the thing i hate to do i can't do! like work. hehe. so since it feels soo wonderful to be free to do the things i love to do, i thought of celebrating by buying a new book!(even though i still have books i haven't read yet). like sana haruki murokami's kafka on the shore book is available already by now. it's been sold out forever.

checking my purse, it hit me that i don't have the funds for a new book. ouch!

but i don't want to be the source of negativity here. i still have books i can read and pirated dvds i can watch. celebration must go on! budget or not! =)

you can also donate books to me or we can swap books. :)

i read from a friend's about mood shifting. because i get affected by feelings, being an emotional wreck that i am, i need to acknowledge that feeling then break up with it as soon as i can, specific to the not-so-good ones.

some stuff about books.
  • i am a huge fan of jeffrey archer ever since "the prodigal daughter"  even after his hiring a prostitute scandal.
  • the book "if you see buddha on the road, kill him" profoundly affected me.
  • "siddharta" which i borrowed from my best friend when we were in college, which he got in booksale, helped me justify mistakes/lessons in personal journey.
  • i have just read the book "to kill a mockingbird" this august.
  • i also recently bought j.d. salinger's "catcher in the rye" and haven't gone past page 10.
  • have only read one ayn rand book, "the fountainhead" this year and gave my copy to a friend.
  • met a friend from this blog and for our first meet up, we exchanged books with lez-theme. she also gave me this cool metal engraved bookmark :)
  • "letters to a young poet" is one of my precious booksale finds at P30. i lent my copy to a friend who was broken-hearted then and she said it saved her. i so love the book that i gave it as a gift to a friend which costs almost P500 when i bought it at natl bookstore.
  • the first book i ever owned was a slim pocket dictionary from my mom as gift to my bday
  • the first gay book i read was "cubao 1980" for a book review. i bought my own copy but gave it as gift to a gay ofcmate (i was still straight then). now the book is not available anymore. :(
  • the first management book i read was "first, break all the rules."
  • the first book i bought online was a project management book for my certification review
  • i so want to buy compilation books of palanca winners. maybe someday

all in my head

erratic. another word is inconsistent. that's what i've been lately. one moment i feel like bursting with so much to share, the next breath am as disoriented as one recovering from a coma can be.

work has been disappointingly consistently too much. not stressful. it's just the volume is chin high as i waddle my way to breathe and make each deadline. now that i have reached that prestigious height of busy-ness, my boss hinted that i may finally get an above average rating for my suicide workload. but then so are the rest, so she tells me to be on my toes.

i have been upfront with boss since early this year. i need more money. which her boss mentality translated to more work. the equation is simple. more work, means more money. less years in mortality yeah, but more money. the wisdom boss shared is, you can have a lot, but can't have it all. argh.

i hate her. she's rich. she has 2 cars, she's religious, she's smart, she has this very nice family by society's standard, she has beautiful, smart, spoiled kids, she's very good in her work, and she is admired by most of the people at our work. she and her family breathe aircon air. each of her kids have yaya. she's nice. she's also pretty. yes, i hate her.

when i told her that what i earn is not enough for my and family's needs. she said that maybe i need to adjust my lifestyle. i wanted to scream at her calm, poise face. i have a life, not style! and then she goes thru the motion of extracting from me where else can i cut corners. there is nothing else to cut in my life without making it a confetti!

then she does the empathy approach. yeah i can also feel that it's specially harder these days. like our money's never enough as compared to before.  it's exhausting. it's ears-bleed. she is a boss who wants to keep an employee but can't give what the employee needs. i am the unfortunate needy employee who's not getting the answer i need. this is the reality of management-employee relations.

i've been checking other opportunities, but none yet that offers better than what i have. so am in a rotten rut. welcome to my world.

i have been on and off sick last week. i have this very demanding headache that's been pestering me for a week now. Friday, i asked for a pain reliever from our nurse. by the time i was about to take it, the pain subsided. wow. amazing, i inwardly thought. the next day and for the next three days after that, after headache's initial hesitation, it realized we're soul mates and decided not to leave me. it made its feelings felt by throbbing non-stop. and i alternated mefenamic acid with ibuprofen and sleeping in between. and you know what, am soo tired of sleeping only to wake up with pain. sabi nga nila, ang sakit ng headache ko.

like any other people suffering from debilitating, helpless condition, i opted for the alternative too. i massaged my head with no-approved-therapeutic-claim oils. i pinched pressure points on my palm to distract my mind from the pain in my head and channel it to the pain on my hand. only to end up with two pain areas to worry about. i pulled my hair because it might help. took a bath more often within a day and even put ice on my head in the hope to release the heat trapped in my head.

i felt very temporary relief or was it distraction? but the pain would still bounce back in increasing crescendo. and i would be immobilized. all i needed was paper towel wrapped around me and i would pass up as a mummy already with all the lying down and no moving i did. totally un-fun.

after fashioning mummy and doctor quack-quacking myself for days, i skipped work and finally went to the doctor today. while in the cab and in terrible pain, i considered heading straight to ER.but the image of people with chopped, bleeding limbs, patients and families of patients howling, women in huge shirts with no bra underneath or men in their boxers, hair in disarray, the drama, scared me more. so reason ruled over and  i patiently waited in line from the hmo room.

luckily, the same doctor who prescribed me before with a headache/pain drug that caused me to be nauseous in the grocery, barely making it home and had me puke my guts out, was the one assigned to me again. we have a history so to speak. hehe.

he assigned me a stronger anti-migraine medicine. translation, more expensive drug. for the longest time, i have refused to call this thing for what it is and simplified it as headache or severe headache. i don't want to have migraine. i don't want to be a cliche.  a woman who works in a stressful high profile multinational company and has migraine. and of course, i'd like to believe that what i have is not as worse as that. i actually don't know what's worse. to be in pain or to be a cliche. i think it's the latter. ugh.

i quickly bought the medicine (it's P250 per tab. now that's painful). looked at the box, "anti-migraine". omg, it's official. i have migraine. *thunderclaps*

was it psychosomatic or denial? but suddenly, my head cleared a tiny bit. i do have 2hr-window to take the drug. if i take it after two hours of headache, alright, migraine, the effect would not be as significant. 5minutes to 2hrs, i popped the bitter pill while in the cab. got home and slept for 2 hours.

i woke up. the pain on my right eye down to my right nape is gone. but wait, i have some sort of head spasm on my left head. bleh, i think it's from bloated vein from oversleeping. hehe.

been three hours now and my head is clear. am lucid enough to write this lengthy kwento about my ordeal. as what i told a friend, "baka hindi naman ako mahilig magsulat. mahilig lang ako magkwento". =)