the commuter from hell

Kung hindi lang crime sa kamay ko at sa patalim ang sumaksak ng pangit, kanina ko pa pinagsasaksak tong dalawang chackie sa tabi ko sa tren. Super papangit na nga, nuknukan pa ng sinungaling!

Sa platform pa lang, may dalawang kadiring mashubiz na garapalang nanunulak. I saw and felt it for myself. I was on their right, sa left nila ay isang kagalang galang na ale. As usual, nagkagulo at kung panong nakapasok ako sa loob ay hindi ko na alam. Pero milagrong nakaupo pa ako. Nakadiskarte siguro ako at sinwerte na rin. Ang kaawa-awang kapita-pitagang ale sa left nila ay himalang nakaupo din pero nagagalit. At parang pinag-adya ng langit nakatabi pa namin ang dalawang garapal!

Si aleng kapita-pitagan, sinabihan nya ang dalawang garapal, "grabe naman kayo manulak." tahasang deny ang dalawa! "naku, ale, kami nga ang tinulak! Nasiko nga ang suso ko.". Hindi ba ang wawalanghiya?! In the first place, kahit pa ang sarap nyang tadyakan (hindi lang sikuhin), madidiri kang madikit man lang sa kanya, promise. So tigas sa panloloko ang dalawang to!

Sa inis ko, nagmamadali akong nag-earphones at dedma na sa ear damage. Tinodo ko na volume! Ayoko nang marinig ang mga kasinungalingan nya!

Tahimik na si respectable ale, super defensive pa rin sila. OA sa hugas kamay. Sana asido ang pinanghugas nya para maniwala kame! Grrrr!

Omg! Did I see it right?! Dinukot nya ang celphone nya mula sa bra nya?! *cringing* bigla akong naging religious at napadasal.

Dear god, please wag na po sanang magkasiksikan at baka dumikit pa ang arm nya sa arm ko at ikamatay ko pa ito dahil sa tetanus. Maawa na po kayo please. Isa po akong mabait na tomboy, wag nyo po sana akong parusahan. Amen.

Pagmulat ko ng mata after my prayer, nagulat ako!

"'masyado lang syang sensitive e lahat naman tayo natapakan at natulak. Ako nga nasiko ang suso ko. Blah blah blah."

Naknampotah! Hindi pa ba sya napapagod?! Tanginang suso yan! Hindi na ba nya titigilan?! Kala mo may interesadong makaaalam sa suso nya! Ugh. Never ko naimagine na masusuka pala ako dahil sa suso! Mygawd! Kung naka-gloves lang ako sinakal ko na to! Isa syang commuter from hell! Somebody push the eject button and throw her out of here! Aaaarrrggghhh!

*note: this happened just now. Nagsulat na lang ako to survive the horrific train ride with her. I took their pix. Will post tonight.*

tribadism in transit

seriously, this is how "siksikan" the train is these days that one can experience something close to  tribadism while in transit. imagine thigh brushing for a good 30minutes with some swaying and reflex tightening on sudden breaks. at this point, am wishing it's even more jam packed so that her legs can go farther thru me and i'll be obliged to accept her not with open arms, but with open legs. or she can just force herself in. either way, i won't mind. hehe.

Ka-Lola-han

Two weeks na kong pinitpit na luya at bawang sa lrt. Nakakapasok ako sa loob ala-mosh pit pero patayo. Kung meron mang train crush sa loob ng siksikan, hindi ko na makita kasi ni leeg hindi ko magalaw without accidentally kissing someone. So after two weeks, at a few harrassments, nakaupo din ako sa wakas! Yes! Finally! Nakatsamba din!

Prente na kong nakaupo nang ang second batch ng nakapasok sa tren ay tumambad sa akin. Ohmother! I groaned. A Lola got jostled near my seat. Ansarap na ng upo ko e. Putakte naman o! Hay, bakit ba ko pinanganak na gentlewomyn? Ninamnam pa ng pwet at likod ko ang a few seconds na pagkakaupo. Tumayo at inoffer ang coveted seat ko. Kaso mo, si Lola, makipot pa sa iskinita sa Tondo sa pagpapakipot! Wag na daw. Aba! mapride si Lola! Syempre nakipagpilitan pa ko ng onti. Pati kasama nya sinasabihan na rin sya. Kaso si Lola pa rin ang nasunod as always. So balik ako sa prenteng upo at madali naman ako kausap. Hehe. Magiliw ko na Lang na biniro si Lola, "naks! Kaya pa ni Lola! Malakas pa! Astig! :)". Naki-oo na rin ang kasama nya. Bumaba sila sa Carriedo, malamang magsisimba sa Quiapo or titingin ng class-A swarovski accessories or bibili ng mga pirated dvds. Hehe. Ingat po kayo! :)





















Personal note: wala na kong lolo at Lola on both my parents' sides. Mga maaagang lumarga para magballroom sa langit. Kaya madalas, nakiki-Lola ako sa iba. Kung papipiliin ako, mas malapit ang puso ko sa mga lola/lolo kaysa sa bata. Mas gusto ko sila alagaan. Hindi ako madidiring yakapin sila at matiyaga akong makikinig sa kwento nilang paulit-ulit. Alam ko signs ito ng Lola deprivation. Nakakalungkot lang. Kasi magulang ng tatay ko, bata pa sya ng mamatay, tatay naman ng mama ko, baby pa sya ng mamatay, tapos ang Lola ko kay mama, tsinugi ng sakit sa sobrang sipag. Kaya bata pa lang ako, ulila na sa lolo at lola. Pag yumaman na ko, tutulong ako sa nga homes for the aged para maging mas maayos ang kalagayan nila. Kung kinakailangan ng production number to entertain them, iaachieve ko yan! Hehe. This means, kailangan ko nang yumaman! Now na! =)  

in the heart of mecca

i realized that i've been trying to save the world. i thought i can do it all - save my family without losing my sanity. the scary part is, i'm failing at both. now here i am, barely at my wits' end to make them happy. i have done a lot for them. but they want so much more, beyond from what i can give.

last night, despite the exhaustion, i had difficulty sleeping. i woke up drained, empty, sleep deprived. i just went through the motion of things and prepared for work in auto-pilot mode.

in the mecca of commuters (lrt of course. hehe), crushed by all the people desperate to get in the train, i had an epiphany. i can't guarantee to fit everyone inside the train, only myself. the same manner i can't save my family, only myself.

thus, my quest to save the world is an epic failure to begin with. more so because i almost lost myself in the process. at the end, being saved is a personal decision. one must want to be saved first.  so i will stop my audacity or should i say foolish notion of satisfying all their needs. i will instead accept that i'm human with no full control of others, only myself. i will save myself first, because i badly need saving  now.

i will help people within my full capacity (nothing beyond that). and i will be happy with myself at whatever i'm able to achieve. if ever my family would demand more from me, i would simply go to my closet and reaffirm to myself that i own no superhero outfit, much more possess superpower.

in the heart of my very own mecca, i finally found my peace. =)

*thanks to the support of my friends here, the anonymous unlimited, my other friends & my gf *

kung ako si ako

my thoughts on this shot:

1. mag-on ba sila? hehehe.

2. kung hindi sila mag-on, magkakilala ba sila? hmmm...

3. kung hindi sila magkakilala, sino ang tumabi kanino?

4. kung ako ang butch, aba syempre tatabihan ko rin!

5. at kung ako ang katabing butch ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl, mas sisiksik pa ko. wehehehe.

6. at kung ako ang nakasiksik na katabing butch ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl, wish ko lang nakashorts ako, para magdikit ang skin namin. nyaaaah! saya!

7.at kung ako ang nakasiksik na naka-shorts na katabing butch ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl, isaside ko ang face ko sa kanya. para maamoy ko ang shampoo nya. sigurado ako langhap sarap sya. itsurang mabango e.

8. at kung ako ang nakasiksik na naka-shorts na katabing butch ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl na umamoy ng mabangong buhok nya, malamang biglang malalaglag sa floor ang panyo ko or celphone. kaya yuyuko ako para damputin ang hita nya, este yung panyo/celphone ko at syempre, ang lahat ng ito ay mangyayari in slow motion. dahan dahan kong iaaangat ang ulo ko mula sa level ng hita nya at papasok sa ilong ko ang flowery smell ng lotion nya at ako'y mapapangiti dahil, hay, angswerteng butch ko naman!

9. at kung ako ang swerteng butch na naka-shorts, na nalaglagan ng panyo/celphone, na nakaamoy sa buhok at hita ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl habang nakasiksik sa kanya, malamang ambilis na ng kabog ng dibdib ko saka manunuyo lalamunan ko sa excitement at tension. susme! wag naman sana ako atakihin sa puso, kasi hindi ko pa alam pangalan nya.

10. at kung ako ang swerteng butch na naka-shorts, na nalaglagan ng panyo/celphone, na nakaamoy sa buhok at hita ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl habang nakasiksik sa kanya, na kumalma na rin sa wakas ang daga sa dibdib (na syet! bakit parang ang laki naman ng boobs ko dito), mapapansin ko na parang nakasimangot si brown-haired-mini skirt girl ko.

11. at kung ako ang swerteng butch na naka-shorts, na nalaglagan ng panyo/celphone, na nakaamoy sa buhok at hita ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl habang nakasiksik sa kanya, na kalmado na (pero syet! sobrang laki pa rin ng boobs ko) na worried at nakasimangot si brown-haired-mini skirt girl ko, makikita kong masama ang tingin nya sa kung saan. susundan ko ng tingin kung saan sya nakatingin --- bakit nya tinititigan ang cute na femme na yun na may iphone??

12. nyaaaahhhh! ako ang tinitingnan ng masama ni brown-haired-mini skirt girl! teka, ako din ang swerteng manyakis na butch sa kwento ko ah. wow! doppelganger! astig!

hay, tama na ang kabaliwan. pagod, gutom at boredom lang to. hehe. good night! =)

trainsfixed

what is it with trains and women going bonkers? i mean the moment the doors open, the mad rush of people squeezing themselves in like it's Noah's ark to salvation. it truly feels that, do or die stance. all women, regardless of outfit, of age, of built, of educational attainment, of height, all wrestle their right to be inside the train. no matter in what condition, be it contorted, disfigured, deformed, harassed, nabbed, just to be able to make it inside the train before the door closes. never mind if portion of their body or clothing is hanging outside the train (hair, arm, bag, etc) because only part of them got in. this is incredulous bordering funny. laugh or die. seriously.

i've witnessed it all. women's survival instinct in action, at its finest. of course the winners are those who are able to sit amid the stampede.

women garbed in work attires, in split second, transform to merciless amazons when a boarding train comes near. it's automatic craziness. hey, i like that imagery, a tribe of amazon women, mud-face painted, wearing flimsy jungle stuff that barely covers their well-toned, sweat-oiled bodies, armed with spears, sticks, knives and warfare skills, all in anticipation of the train. and when the train comes, all making sugod to the door that slowly opens, with eyes that shout "Attaaaaccckkkk!!!!!".

okay. i got carried away. haha. am your modern day amasona, and i proudly belong to that tribe. in fairness, never pa ko nadapa and i mostly am able to sit. hehe. so yeah, am your modern day mayabang na amasona. lol.

en route to diversion

I was supposed to meet with two g2g doc friends tonight to watch UP Film Institute's screening of Manila by Night. I know, I know, I just declared bankruptcy an entry ago, but hear me out first.

Manila by Night is the film where Cherie Gil won the coveted best acting award for a lesbian role in the highly prestigious QTV show, Pinaka. Dahil may kabataan pa ko nung pinalabas ito sa sinehan (and I'm sure chinop-chop na to sa cuts nung pinalabas), ngayon ko pa lang ito mapapanood if ever.

I excitedly came to work an hour earlier so I can leave 5ish in time for the 7pm screening. It's like waiting for the minute by minute progress of time. The day dragged on ever so slowly (because I've been monitoring the passing of the desktop clock) until 5:30pm finally came. I quickly left the office, withdrew from the bank my last money and texted the grrls. No reply. Agitated, I gave TQ (my doc friend) a call. No answer. Excitement was replaced with tension and worry. 6pm, still nothing. Defeated, I called gf to tell her my sob story. I decided with a heavy heart to just head home and catch the film another time.

In the bus going home (opposite to UP), TQ finally replied around 6:30pm. They're already there at UP. And I'm 2.5hrs away from them. Darn network connection for delayed messages! They were convincing me to still go even just for dinner. I asked if it's their treat and said silly no. No treat means no go. :)

At the LRT, I'm still feeling lost because of planned gimmick gone awry. Standing in the throng of masses, I distracted myself by observing three kolehiyalas still in their uniforms, proudly wearing their St. Paul University Manila necklace IDs. *Paumanhin kung may maapektuhan* I mused to myself:

Ang chackie (meaning chaka) ng mga taga-St. Paul Manila. Kung ganito magiging itsura ng mga g2g, magpapakastraight na lang ako!

I tried to not look at them anymore, but their loud voices scream of attention (maybe to compensate for their lack in beauty).

St. Paul MNL kolehiyala1: Si X hindi naman tumutulong sa 'tin.

St. Paul MNL kolehiyala2: Onga. Kaya naman natin e. kung gagalingan natin, maganda kakalabasan (kung anumang topic yun, I hope it's not an attempt to beauitify their faces, kasi galing na lang ng syensya ang makakagawa nun)

St. Paul MNL kolehiyala3: (eto na pamatay!) Kung talagang determinated ka, magagawa mo !

O di ba, ang sarap tumumbling?

Maya maya, nagsibabaan na ang mga determinated. Hay salamat. Next batch please. Marunong naman bumawi si God kasi bumulaga na lang sa harapan ko (as in halos dumunggol) and isang maputing babaeng pretty and sexy (siguro 1 month na Ponds whitening pa tisay na sya), naka-plunging neckline na green blouse, naka-mini skirts, wearing clunky green bracelet and ring. (I'm sure intentional na hindi sya nagnecklace). I definitely feel green with her.

Alam nyo naman sa lrt pag rush hour di ba? Siksikan na, maalog pa. Shempre, pati yung nasa ilalim ng green blouse umalog-alog na rin na para bang gustong dumungaw sa labas (I wish! Hehe). Buti na lang femme ako kaya kahit I kept staring at her neck below, hindi malisyosa ang dating, baka nga flattered pa sya. So ang lowlah nyo, pangisi-ngisi, este, pangiti-ngiti lang at feeling nakajackpot kahit pano. Eto na ang catch.

Chackie nyang kasama: medyo sumasakit ang balakang ko
Green girl: bakit naman?
Chackie nyang kasama: PMS e.
Green girl: (pabulong kay chackie) PMS? Pre-masturbation syndrome?
Sexy femme na eavesdropper: (ako yun! Wehehe. Isingit talaga sarili e) napalunok, nanlaki mata at naloka sa narinig
Chackie nyang kasama: nyeh. Pre-menstual syndrome.

Beauty can only take you so far. Sa case ko with the chackies, they took me to a determinated path. With green girl, well atleast umabot man lang kami sa masturbation, pwede na yun! ;)

Love in transit

meron ako nakatabi sa mrt.
Astig na batang babae.
(i should omit 'batang', it makes me sound like a pedophile. ugh.)
Maganda, may gitara at may manipis na tirintas sa batok na nasa ilalim ng kanyang pony tail.
Kung anu-anong censored na ang naisip ko na ginagawa namen ü hehe.
Buti may dumating na mga taga-cubao, at napasiksik sya sa tabi ko. Hayy, kileg ü

ang tumabi sa kaliwa nya ay isang butch.
nakakatawa. kasi ang itsura namin, ako (femme), sya (na im sure object of our kamanyakan), butch (na umeepal pa, e ako na naunang katabi).

tinititigan ko reflection ng mukha nya sa katapat na window.
*shempre, para hindi naman garapal na manyak ang dating ko. ka-turnoff!*

Maamo na palaban. hmmm... may promise. :D
at ako naman, pademure na pasimpleng papansin.

Super text sya. as in every 5sec open ng cel at reply.
tantya ko, 10 words (in txt lingo) per second sya magtype.
super talented ng kanyang fingers.
totoo talaga, let your fingers do the talking and action!
wehehe. ayan na, kung anu-ano na naman naiisip ko. :D

I think kapuso/n sya.
kickass, pretty, rockin' girl like her, she can't be straight!
*okay, okay, heterophobic comment sya.*

Nasilip ko sa cel nya ang wallpaper nya.
Confirmed! Pic ng butch and pic nya e.
Angswerteng butch naman.
hay. *smitten*