let's rock n roll n kiss

I have been in house arrest for the last two days working from home, being on conference calls and getting shit from incompetent people that I deemed it's time to write again. I did write something a few days back. but the topic is just sad. we already reached gloomy quota from the torrential monsoon rains. so detour to aimless surfing as usual. and avril lavigne saves the day! :)

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if I were to make one lesbian wish on the music category (because a girl can have oh-so many desires), it'll be that avril lavigne is gay. she is soo kickass, toughie, cool, hot girl. she is playful, don't fucking care and sweet despite the truckload of mascara and eyeliner she has. I like her edgy, yet child-like sense of fashion. remember this devil horn hoodie she had in AI audition?

but because she is avril I-don't-fucking-care lavigne, she of course didn't grant my wish. however, she did make this out of this world, doesn't make sense, fun, video with lyrics that could very well be the new anthem for anybody misunderstood -

I don’t care about my makeup
I like it better with my jeans all ripped up
Don’t know how to keep my mouth shut
You say so what (what)

I don’ t care if I’m misfit

I mentioned playful right? well she had cute girls included in her music vid.

with Danica McKellar  as her leading lady! SURPRISE!!!! :)

Danica McKellar is the now all grown up Winnie Cooper of The Wonder Years show sometime 90s. not sure if you know that tv show. I know of it but never got to watch it really. we didn't have cable then! hehe. 

one time they were dining in some post apocalyptic looking resto the next they're staring at each other in slightly parted lips!

Ze stare

and then the most inevitable thing happens when two beautiful women stare with parted lips, zey kizz!

Ze kiss!

followed by this lyrics of the song:

 

When it’s you and me

We don’t need no one to tell us who to be

The song is Rock n Roll by Avril Lavigne. The video was officially released less than 24hrs ago. Yes, girl-to-girl action happens somewhere while we are sleeping. Her album will be released in stores September.

Rock n Roll

 

 

Let em know that we’re still Rock n Roll

I don’t care about my makeup
I like it better with my jeans all ripped up
Don’t know how to keep my mouth shut
You say so what (what)

I don’ t care if I’m misfit
I like it better than the hipster of all shit
I am the mother f-cking princess
You still love me

Some some how
It’s a little different when
I’m with you
You know what I really am
On the phone
You know how it really goes
Some some way
We’ll be getting out of this
Time one day
You’re the only that I
Want with me
You know how the story goes

When it’s you and me
We don’t need no one to tell us who to be
We’ll keep turning up the radio
What if you and I
Just put up a middle finger to the sky
Let them know we’re still rock ‘n roll
Rock ‘n roll
Hey hey hey
Rock ‘n roll
Hey Hey Hey

Call it a bad attitude dude
I’m never going to cover up that tattoo
I might have a couple issues
You say me too (yeah)
Don’t care about a reputation
Must be living in the wrong generation
This is your invitation
Let's get wasted

Some some how
It’s a little different when
I’m with you
You know what I really am
On the phone
You know how the story really goes

When it’s you and me
We don’t need no one to tell us who to be
We’ll keep turning up the radio
What if you and I
Just put up a middle finger to the sky
Let them know we’re still rock ‘n roll
Rock ‘n roll
Hey hey hey
Rock ‘n roll
Hey Hey Hey

When it’s you and me
We don’t need no one to tell us who to be
We’ll keep turning up the radio

What if you and I
Just put up a middle finger to the sky
Let them know we’re still rock ‘n roll

When it’s you and me
We don’t need no one to tell us who to be
We’ll keep turning up the radio

What if you and I
Just put up a middle finger to the sky
Let them know we’re still rock ‘n roll

Rock ‘n roll
Hey hey hey
Rock ‘n roll
Hey Hey Hey

 

### 

 

Meet Danica McKellar,  the woman who got the prestigious title of being Avril Lavigne's first onscreen lip lock.

 

 

She has the abs to die for

 the ass to make you wish you're that

red, shiny bikini she's tightly wearing

 

and the smarts to worship her!

summa cum laude in Math at UCLA
h-u-w-a-w!

She penned 4 books on Math with titles that has "suck", "kiss", "curves", and "hot" in them. yes, we're speaking of math books here!

truly deserving of avril lavigne's lips and my comeback post! =)

@DanicaMcKellar tweeted Tuesday, "Never had so many people say they're jealous of me! All I can say is . . . 'I kissed a girl and I liked it . . .'"

a driven womyn

Danica Patrick Wins Pole For NASCAR's Daytona 500

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — Danica Patrick has made history before – as a woman and a racer, in Indianapolis and Japan.

The spotlight is nothing new. But never has it been this bright before.

Patrick won the Daytona 500 pole Sunday, becoming the first woman to secure the top spot for any race in NASCAR's premier circuit. It's by far the biggest achievement of her stock-car career.

"I was brought up to be the fastest driver, not the fastest girl," she said. "That was instilled in me from very young, from the beginning. Then I feel like thriving in those moments, where the pressure's on, has also been a help for me. I also feel like I've been lucky in my career to be with good teams and have good people around me. I don't think any of it would have been possible without that.
"For those reasons, I've been lucky enough to make history, be the first woman to do many things. I really just hope that I don't stop doing that. We have a lot more history to make. We are excited to do it."

Her latest stamp in the history books came with a lap at 196.434 mph around Daytona International Speedway. Patrick went out eighth in the qualifying session, then had to wait about two hours as 37 fellow drivers tried to take her spot.

Only four-time Cup champion Jeff Gordon even came close to knocking her off. Gordon was the only other driver who topped 196 mph in qualifying. He locked up the other guaranteed spot in next week's season-opening Daytona 500.

"It's great to be a part of history with Danica being on the pole," said Gordon, who joked that at least he was the fastest guy. "I think we all know how popular she is, what this will do for our sport. Congratulations to her. Proud to be on there with her."

The rest of the field will be set in duel qualifying races Thursday.

However the lineup unfolds, all drivers will line up behind Patrick's No. 10 Chevrolet SS.

And she knows her latest achievement will mean more public relations work.

The routine is nothing new for Patrick, who was the first woman to lead laps in the Indianapolis 500. She finished third in 2009, the highest finish in that illustrious race for a woman. And she became the only woman to win an IndyCar race when she did it in Japan in 2008.

Hardly anyone witnessed that victory.

Leading the field to the green flag in NASCAR's showcase event should be must-watch television.
"That's a huge accomplishment," team owner and fellow driver Tony Stewart said. "It's not like it's been 15 or 20 years she's been trying to do this. It's her second trip to Daytona here in a Cup car. She's made history in the sport. That's stuff that we're proud of being a part of with her. It's something she should have a huge amount of pride in.

"It's never been done. There's only one person that can be the first to do anything. Doesn't matter how many do it after you do, accomplish that same goal. The first one that does always has that little bit more significance to it because you were the first."

Even before her fast lap Sunday, Patrick was the talk of Speedweeks. Not only did she open up about her budding romance with fellow Sprint Cup rookie Ricky Stenhouse Jr., but she was considered the front-runner for the pole after leading practice sessions Saturday.

And she didn't disappoint.

She kept her car at or near the bottom of the famed track and gained ground on the straightaways, showing lots of power from a Hendrick Motorsports engine.

"It's easy to come down here in your first or second year as a driver and clip the apron trying to run too tight a line or do something and scrub speed off," Stewart said. "That's something she did an awesome job. Watching her lap, she runs so smooth. ... She did her job behind the wheel, for sure."
The result surely felt good for Patrick, especially considering the former IndyCar driver has mostly struggled in three NASCAR seasons. Her best finish in 10 Cup races is 17th, and she has one top-five in 58 starts in the second-tier Nationwide Series.

She raced part-time in 2010 and 2011 while still driving a full IndyCar slate. She switched solely to stock cars last season and finished 10th in the Nationwide standings.

She made the jump to Sprint Cup this season and will battle Stenhouse for Rookie of the Year honors.
Starting out front in an unpredictable, 500-mile race doesn't guarantee any sort of result, but securing the pole will put her in the limelight for at least the rest of the week.

She also won the pole at Daytona for last year's Nationwide race.

This is considerably bigger.

The previous highest female qualifier in a Cup race was Janet Guthrie. She started ninth at Bristol and Talladega in 1977.

"It's obviously a history-making event that will last a long, long time," Guthrie said, praising Patrick's feat. "It's a different era, of course. Different times. I can't imagine what I would do with a spotter or somebody telling me how to drive. It's rather a different sport now. Back then, there was a much greater difference from the front of the field to the back."

Guthrie received a lukewarm reception from fellow drivers back then.

Patrick was much more welcomed, undoubtedly because of her background and popularity.
She's comfortable being in the spotlight, evidenced by her racing career, her television commercials and her sudden openness about her personal life.

"I think when pressure's on and when the spotlight's on, I feel like it ultimately ends up becoming some of my better moments and my better races and better results," Patrick said. "I just understand that if you put the hard work in before you go out there that you can have a little peace and a little peace of mind knowing that you've done everything you can and just let it happen."

source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/17/danica-patrick-wins-pole-daytona-500-nascar_n_2707495.html

 

ako ay Leslie

heard this song since last year i think. but never got to check who sang it. i found it amusing and interesting.  a known all-male band singing about lesbians. neat. i guess lesbians are becoming mainstream :) cheers to us! :)

 

 

Buhay Sirena

pagkat tayo ay mga sirena (mermaid). lumalangoy sa dagat ng panghuhusga, nalulunod sa mga pangamba, nilulunod ng mga hindi nakakaunawa. pero pilit umaahon para sa sarili at sa iba. salamat Gloc-9 at Ebe  Dancel

.

originally saw the video at http://chicogarcia.wordpress.com/

Marvelous Monday!

Happy Pride beautiful people! :) 


I really dunno where Pride came from, so googled it for you. Wikipedia notes below. :) For me, Pride is simply being proud of who you are. that you are an LGBT and an equal member of the society, comfortable with your own skin. 


Pride often is a festive series of activities - parades, parties, talks, marches. Rainbow is the official color/flag of Pride to show the many kinds of people I guess, diversity. 


Internationally, it's celebrated in June to remember the first LGBT march. But in the Philippines, it's done December, to time with the Human Rights Day every Dec 10.


Happy and Gay! - redundant, but it shows how doubly optimist the LGBT people are despite the challenges in life, not limited to equality. notice how every straight person has at least one gay friend?


More with Les - haha. being lesbian, does that make us twice the usual woman? Hehe. i really think highly of lesbians. there's a certain swag and oomph with lesbians. we are more confident because we don't give a hoot with impressing men/boys, so our personalities shine more. we do give our arms and legs (even our soul) for the women we love. hehe. 

Pride parades for the LGBT community (also known as gay pride parades, LGBT pride parades, pride events and pride festivals) are events celebrating lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) culture. The events also at times serve as demonstrations for legal rights such as same-sex marriage. Most pride events occur annually and many take place around June to commemorate the Stonewall riots, a pivotal moment in the modern LGBT rights movement.

How Pride started:Early on the morning of Saturday, 28 June 1969, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning persons rioted following a police raid on the Stonewall Inn in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of New York City. The Stonewall Inn was a gay bar which catered to an assortment of patrons, but which was popular with the most marginalized people in the gay community: transvestites, transgender people, effeminate young men, hustlers, and homeless youth. The Stonewall riots are generally considered to be the beginning of the modern gay rights movement, as it was the first time in modern history that a significant body of LGBT people resisted arrest.

Today is the beginning of the week, last week of Pride celebration. To some, it's the beginning of the rest of their lives - seeing with new eyes. clarity. perspective. embracing with new arms. openness. acceptance. standing with new legs. strength. conviction. everybody, Stand Up for Love!  and let us Walk Free and Proud! =)

Marvelous Monday to all you lovelies! 

STAND UP by Jessie J

If you surround yourself with negative people
You'll never feel settled in or become an equal, no
They'll suppress you of your spirit and rinse you dry of smiles
So reach deep and release your inner child, yeah, yeah


So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up, stand up, for the love, love


'Cause you're as old as you feel you are
And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars
So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last


'Cause you're as old as you feel you are
And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars
So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last
So stand up


If you let a frown become your normality, yes
You don't set an example for the youth of our humanity
If you spend every day wishing for the next to come
Aged and lifeless is what, yes, you'll become, yeah, yeah


So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up, stand up, for the love, love


'Cause you're as old as you feel you are
And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars
So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last


'Cause you're as old as you feel you are
And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars
So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last
(So stand up)
I live my life like every day is the last


So ignore the bad and the good will soon come
Don't think second best, be number one
Spread some love, don't give to receive
Strive to be happy and live to believe


So ignore the bad and the good will soon come
Don't think second best, be number one
Spread some love, don't give to receive
Strive to be happy and live to believe


So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up, stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up for the love, love, love
So stand up, stand up, for the love, love


'Cause you're as old as you feel you are
And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars
So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last


'Cause you're as old as you feel you are
And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars
So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last


'Cause you're as old as you feel you are
And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars
So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last


So stand up for the l-l-love, yeah
So stand up for the l-l-love, yeah
So stand up

she is sunday

praying.

strolling.

movies.

coffee shop.

bookstore.

crepes.

fruits.

pancakes.

sunrise.

sunset.

reading.

smiling.

easy.

sunday.

you.

Sunday morning rain is falling

Steal some covers share some skin

Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable

You twist to fit the mold that I am in

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do

And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew

That someday it would lead me back to you

That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need

In darkness she is all I see

Come and rest your bones with me

Driving slow on Sunday morning

And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline

Paint a picture with my hands

Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm

Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need

In darkness she is all I see

Come and rest your bones with me

Driving slow on Sunday morning

And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do

Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you

Singing someday it'll bring me back to you

Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know

That may be all I need

In darkness she is all I see

Come and rest your bones with me

Driving slow on Sunday morning

working girl 3

i planned my interview to perfection. i filed a vacation leave so that it's fair to my current employer (instead of filing for sick leave), consulted a fashionista gay friend for the clothes, bought my power outfits and they look great :), googled the interviewer for his background, googled about the company, washed my new clothes yesterday, earlier, the day before the interview, planned on buying the matching comfy stilletos at aerosole then iron my clothes when i get home. everything was going swell, i feel tickled pink with delight. :)

then the hr lady called before lunch. asking to move the interview from friday 10am  to 3pm instead. alright. i can do that, told hr. i filed whole day leave anyway. another text message from hr. can you make it to today instead by 5pm? there's a meeting blah blah blah that conflicts blah blah blah and the available day is today at 5 or monday. wait-ah-minute. did i read it right, TO-fucking-DAY?! i can't file for another vl on monday since it's short notice and i already filed for a leave tomorrow. and ohmygawd! *suddenly in panic because my world is falling apart* whatabt my power outfits?! they're still hanging wrinkled in the clothesline. so, again, you're telling me TO-fucking-DAY?! *thunderclaps* my bright pink nail polish started cracking. as the Rent song goes, no day but to-fucking-day. groans.

this is not the time for makeup meltdown or fashion crisis. it's either i want this or am willing to let it go. i bolted to action. i begged for 6pm else i'd be soaking sweating wet going to the interview place if it's earlier than that because my out time is that, 5pm. called my mom to take my new outfits and asked nicely to have them ironed. texted my sister and listed the items they need to prepare, foundation, concealer, eyebrow pencil, eyebrow brush, light blue perfume, etc. sister to bring it to makati then i change costume in a nearby resto/cafe *change costume ala super hero lang ang drama. hehe*.

5pm sister not yet in makati. 5:15 i left, whistled a cab and checked out the venue. as plan b, i brought my black winter jacket in the ofc to cover my shabby appearance. hey, it's thu and i was supposed to be out the next day. as i was crossing the street at 5:30pm  near the venue, boom! ran into sister! i was in such rush, i did not have time to be mad for her being late. changed clothes, shoes, applied makeup and scent, did speed reading on the hardware stuff, and then strutted my way to the interview building. i must have looked really nice because people were looking at me. i mean you wouldn't miss me with my royal blue blazer. haha. i sort of realized late that my dress is kinda shorter than it should, and my high heeled low-cut booties making my legs longer. this bothered me a bit as i may be dressed for a fashion event than a job interview (that's not remotely related to fashion). i checked the time on my watch. and it says no turning back time. so hesitation back in the bag.

interviewer was this charming european guy with an equally charming and audible accent, who's certified with various titles that i could remember. for all the last-minute-almost-didn't-make-it-cramming i did, charming guy said he enjoyed our conversation and he hopes i don't lose my enthusiasm in project management.  it did feel like a conversation than an interview. at one point he asked my thoughts on some running debate on project management (certification vs experience). he also asked me the leader i admire. of course it has to be related to lgbt and i quipped tim cook! he had gigantic shoes to fill, the size of steve jobs' ego *don't worry am a fan of steve. see, we're in first name basis. hehe*, everybody doubted him, that apple will fizzle out post-jobs, yet they posted the biggest revenue to date in the fruit company that gives birth to the coolest stuff. he is the pragmatic side of apple, that i think saved the company from the frivolities that is steve. so i think, that is great leadership and i love it that he's gay and a silent influential guy.

i haven't felt this excited in a long while. uhm, ohhkaay, in between jessica sanchez' performances in AI of course. which is the very reason why am still up is because i just finished watching a rerun of her soo beautiful performance of you're soo beautiful. it's that great that it's okay being redundant about it. haha.

what a day! so much for aiming for perfection. i realized, you don't really get a perfect day plan as you try it. but that doesn't mean i can't have an amazing day which is how TO-fucking-DAY turned out. good night soo beautiful people! i love you all! =)

Once upon a song

it started with a song that mirrors the tragic state that we were in.

well, i’ve been afraid of changin’
cause i’ve built my life around you
but time makes you bolder
children get older
and i’m getting older too

we were bound by our pain and our questions.

oh, mirror in the sky, what is love
can the child within my heart rise above
can i sail through the changing ocean tides
can i handle the seasons of my life

we joked about a crying meet up. which we took seriously and actually met! the irony of it all is that we didn't even shed one single tear that time. we were shy, hesitant, and i was embarrassingly late. sorry. perfection takes time. hehe.

i have long ago stopped making expectations when meeting someone for the first time. we were so consumed with each's agony that we didn't even ask how each looks like. and you know what, am glad we didn't. you were such a nice surprise with your long hair, dainty blouse, warm presence and sweet, unassuming smile. so sweet i can taste it in my mind. thank you for being my beautiful, tragic soul. pasensya na, misery loves company daw e. hehe.

what was it that they say? people come to you when you are ready for them or when you need them. i must have been so needy then because fate sent you to me despite unusual circumstance. i didn't tell my closest friends my trials then. it was such a life changing struggle that it had to be someone anonymous before i can open up.

you were the anonymous that mattered to me the most then. and am blessed that we're far from strangers now. very blessed because you likewise shared the story of your heart. thank you for the gift of trust.

tragedy can make or break a person. it can kill or leave one paralyzed for life, either physically or emotionally. once upon a song, i was like that. until Anonymous came along to save me.

to A&A, Happy Landslide Anniversary! =)

“Disaster is a natural part of my evolution.

Toward tragedy and dissolution.”

Chuck Palahniuk, American freelance Journalist, Satirist and Novelist



i hope it's okay :)

i will leave you with this season ender song in the show am currently loving, Harry' Law. a disillusioned district attorney sang this in a lawyers' gala. he shared to them something he still believes in and actually loves doing. he's been singing the same song everyday in the shower was his intro. everyone (including me) feared it'll be awful. on the opposite, it was heartfelt wonderful. there is always something moving when someone bares their soul before you. to be trusted with something very personal is just sacred. the same thing goes with the song, to love is sacred. just to love. never mind if it's known or shared or returned. to love. to have that utterly feeling from pleasant silly to fireworks phenomenal. just the thought of someone you love and all the possibilities your imagination can weave. it's enough to sustain you through hard times. for now, it will lull me to sleep to dream some more and weave my own desired possibilities. :) good night! =)

gung ho over juno

I had an exhausting two days. Every bone and muscle nagging me about it, tugging at my shirt to make their pain, which is my pain known. Such whiny kids. Ugh. I need peace of mind and a shot of precious painless hours. 'slept the whole afternoon, woke up disoriented. Did I get an sms from a cute girl and replied or was it just a dream? It looked midnight in my room, but checking my phone validated that twas just a dream, the sms. But fact is she's cute. Yes, the girl is real. Hehe. And another fact item, it's not yet midnight. Just 6:30pm. Groans. Which means I have to get up. Groans again. Now you know where my whiny bones and muscles inherited their whininess. Hehe.

What I often do first thing in the morning or night when I wake up is go online. Yep, being online is second to nature as breathing. And as usual, my aimless surfing led me to something wonderful, and that is Juno. I don't think there's any other movie/film whose soundtrack brainwashed me as much as Reality Bites (soundtrack given by an ex-bf) and Juno (soundtrack downloaded). Well, also kick ass Kill Bill (soundtrack given by an ex-gf). Hehe. *Just remembered*. But Juno is the epitome of uber coolness! Hehe. Androgynous, talented, tomboy, independent, (rumored) gay/bisexual, teen-speak eloquent and did i mention she kisses girls? 

Juno /Ellen Page is someone to be gay for. i sincerely love her in high gay fashion. :) So let me show you the many androgynous ways why, from present to the past and back.

now going back to the present.....

why? because you can just kiss her in friendship! ;) hello my friends out there! hehehe.

and because i love her to bits and want her soo much, a kilig song to end this drooling.

 

All I Want is YOU

by Barry Louis Polisar

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and green

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.

If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug

And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.

If you were the love, I'd be the desire.

If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

drinking in you

i've met many women in coffee shops. starbucks is the official eb venue ng bayan. then when it got too crowded with the surge of ebs (that didn't look right, hahaha. of course i meant eb in plural), we shifted to seattle's best which seems to be often just front or side of starbucks. since my fave drink is hot choco classic with just 2 dips of mocha, i still buy my drink at starbucks and settle with my friends at seattle's. hehe. i do love seattle's macaroons. a guilty pleasure for me. but i still go for old fashion oatmeal cookie at starbucks. and my super favorite cake, the perfect raspberry cheesecake at coffee bean & tea leaf. a recent discovery.

for someone who is not a heavy drinker (yeah , gone are the days. hehe), i embraced the advent of coffee shops as an alternative hang out place. i used to wonder why it is perceived that gimmicks are more fun if mixed with alcohol. to prove a point, me and my college buddies replaced our drink with soda and did our discussions. i admit, it wasn't the same. like the conversations weren't as interesting?

but after all the alcohol drinking i did to the dismay of my liver, where in drunken stupor i cried, laughed, kissed, touched, had sex, made a fool of myself, got harassed too, proposed with, vomited my gut out, i realized that twas the intoxication that largely had me doing those things. was i sincere then, like was it my true self unmasked? if i can still remember, maybe. hehe. but there is something surreal on those moments. twas hell fun, true. but now that i've seem to have matched my alcohol drinking craze with the coffee shop drinking, i realized that many of my heart-to-heart conversations happened while mildly caffeinated.

talks not limited to the appearance of moon and stars, which can be as intense as the noon glare. lips that get burned with the heat from the words in as much as the coffee temperature i was served with. a woman steadily looking at me, after taking a sip from her herbal tea while she reaches for my hand on the table and i smile back, intertwining my fingers with hers. i feel warm and fuzzy and my heart is full.

we share stories, however mundane, disagree on issues we have opposing views of. we laugh with nostalgic joy of the silly things we did for love and even of just simple embarrassments. our tears helplessly fall from bad news and why sometimes beyond our control, things just don't work out as we imagined it would. memories are clear, feelings are real, moments are honest. the kind that doesn't get forgotten after a hangover or easily evaporate like the aroma of the coffee brew.

COFFEE SHOP 

 Landon Pigg

i think that possibly, maybe im falling for you
yes theres a chance that ive fallen quite hard over you.
ive seen the paths that your eyes wander down
i want to come to

i think that possibly, maybe im falling for you

no one understands me quite like you do
through all of the shadowy corners of me

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew

i think that possibly, maybe im falling for you
yes theres a chance that ive fallen quite hard over you.
ive seen the waters that make your eyes shine
now i'm shining too

because oh because
ive fallen quite hard over you

if i didnt know you, id rather not know
if i couldnt have you, i'd rather be alone

i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while, i never knew

all of the while , all of the while it was you.

**thanks Hapi for the song =)

Sundo

pagbigyan nyo na ko. cheesy mode. hehe.

I.

Kay tagal kong sinusuyod ang buong mundo
Para hanapin, para hanapin ka
Nilibot ang distrito ng iyong lumbay
Pupulutin, pupulutin ka

Rerfrain:
Sinusundo kita,
Sinusundo
Chorus:
Asahan mong mula ngayon pag-ibig ko’y sayo
Asahan mong mula ngayon pag-ibig ko’y sayo

II.
Sa akin mo isabit ang iyong lumbay
Di kukulangin ang ibibigay
Isuko ang kaba tuluyan kang bumitaw
Ika’y manalig
Manalig ka..
Refrain:
Sinusundo kita
Sinusundo

Chorus:
Asahan mong mula ngayon pag-ibig ko’y sayo
Asahan mong mula ngayon pag-ibig ko’y sayo

Handa na sa liwanag mo
Sinuyod ang buong mundo
Maghihintay sayo’ng sundo

dahil pangarap lang kita

I'll keep loving you because I don't know how not to.

Pangarap Lang Kita

Parokya ni Edgar featuring Happee Sy

Mabuti pa sa lotto, may pag-asang manalo

‘Di tulad sayo, impossible

Prinsesa ka, ako’y dukha
Sa movie lang naman kasi may mangyayari


[chorus - Chito]
At kahit mahal kita
Wala akong magagawa
Tanggap ko ‘to aking sinta
Pangarap lang kita

[Happee]
Ang hirap maging babae
Kung gusto rin babae
Kahit may gusto ka ‘di mo masabi
Hinde ako ‘yung tibong nagbibigay motibo
Conservative ako kaya di maaari


[chorus - Happee]
At kahit mahal kita
Wala akong magagawa
Tanggap ko ‘to aking sinta
Pangarap lang kita

[chorus - Chito and Happee]
At kahit mahal kita (minamahal kita)
Wala akong magagawa (walang magagawa)
Tanggap ko ‘to aking sinta
Pangarap lang kita


[Happee's chinese part]
Suiran wo hen ai ni
Wo mei fenfa gaosu ni
Wo xin zhong yi you oh – qinai
Danshr shr wo de ai

[chorus - Chito and Happee]
At kahit mahal kita (da ai)
Wala akong magagawa (wo zhen de mei fenfa)
Tanggap ko ‘to aking sinta
Pangarap lang kita




**para sa mga (full, half, 1/4) Chinese friends ko from this blog =) **

to Someone

We met at the most wrong time. Recognizing that, we went on to each other's lives. Our paths missed each other and intersected years after.  This time, we welcomed the chance albeit the commitments we have. You said hi. And I replied, about time.

The floodgate has been opened and the years' past became now. A montage of pain, survival, cheers and joy. At times we wondered, in the middle  of the soul mate-like connection of ours why we're not together when it seems apparent we already are.  But since we knew that, it didn’t really bother us and we were still happy.

I was drawn crawling drunk to your vulnerability, your intelligence, your artistry, your selflessness, your beauty. You are the most damaged person I know. I fell. Picked up each piece of broken glass shard that you are. Sometimes it's smooth, sometimes stabbing sharp. Sometimes reflective, sometimes  blunt. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it's hard. I tried to understand you piece by piece until it left me bleeding and still not fully knowing.

You love me. Period. That's how simple you would explain it. You gave me a piece of your brain, your heart and your life. And I made them my own.

In an attempt to share mine, I told you my truth. Truth that is real,  truth that I didn’t mean to hurt. If you were broken to begin with, I shattered you then. And there's just too many small pieces. Each small piece you hammered to my heart in anger nail until you covered its entirety with your pain you want me to feel and suffer with.

I don't know how to think of you without sadness.  Each time I remove a nailed piece of you in my heart just leaves me wanting and hurting. I know I never said I love you to you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t. 

We may not have had the perfect timing, but  you were the wrong woman that felt perfect for me then. Please let me forget you so I can live again. 

ang babae sa buhay ko

Binigyan nya ko ng tutor pagkatapos ko magkinder noon kasi autistic ako. Gumraduate ako ng kinder na hindi nagsasalita sa paaralan. Basta ang alam ko may baon akong pera, uupo sa klase, tapos uuwi. Nagka-award pa ako, "most quiet in the class". akalain mo yon?! 

Ang tutor na binigay nya, isang matandang dalaga, amoy lupa na may makapal na puting pulbos at mapulang lipstick. May makapal na grado ng salamin at may dalang  mahabang stick. Takang taka sya kasi pag-grade 1 ko, marunong na ko magbasa, magsulat, at ng multiplication, pati division. Hindi nya alam, kinukulong ako sa kwarto tapos kukurutin at papaluin ng stick pag hindi ko naiintindihan ang lesson.

Nung mga unang taon ko bilang bata, yaya ang lagi kong kasama sa bahay, sa girl scout, sa quiz contests, sa mga performances.

Pumupunta lang sya sa school pag recognition day. Bibilhan nya ko ng damit na susuotin the day before the event. Tapos memakeup-an ako ng makapal, bilang nagtitinda sya ng makeup. Madalas late kami sa event. At hiyang hiya ako lagi na maglalakad sa venue. 

Nuknukan ako ng mahiyain. Minsan, tyempong narining ko ang mahinang kwentuhan nila ng kasama nya na madami kaming utang, may kaso, wala kaming pera.  Ang pagiging mahiyain ay napalitan ng kahihiyan. Pagtitindahin nya ko ng yelo sa palengke tuwing hapon, tapos pagbebentahin ng basahang tinahi nya para may ipamalengke akong pambili ng tatlong lata ng sardinas, ng pechay. Minsan ng itlog para gawing adobo o kaya 3 noodles na hahaluan ng itlog pa rin o di kaya ay 1/4 na kilong galunggong para prituhin. Dyan lang umiikot ang tanghalian at hapunan namin. Mayaman sa protein at sodium. Hehe. 

Sa buong buhay ko, dalawang beses nya kong binilhan ng manika, isang kahawig ni barbie pero mas manipis ang buhok at nadedeform pag pinisil ng madiin at isang pinahabang voodoo doll ang itsura. 

Sa maraming beses akong sinaktan, pinalo at binato ng kung anu-ano, minsan nya, madalas ng kasama nya, lalo lang kong tumapang at hindi nasasaktan. 

Natuto akong dumiskarte at umasa sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko sya naasahan nung naghanap ako ng masasandalan.

Andaming mali sa buhay ko. Napakaraming kakulangan. Lahat sinisisi ko sa kanya. Kasi nag-asawa sya ng maling lalaki. Kasi iniluwal nya kami ng hindi sila handa. Kasi nag-anak pa sya ng madami. Kasi hindi sya naging mapag-aruga. Kasi hindi nya kami pinagtatanggol pag sinasaktan kami. Kasi mahina sya. 

Ngayon matanda na sya. Mas mahina pa kaysa dati. Pero gumigising ng madaling araw para ipagluto ako ng almusal at baon sa trabaho. Nilalabhan ang damit ko pag nakita nyang hindi ko na ito nagawa. Maingat na hinahandwash ang mga damit ko na may maninipis na tela. Pinapamlantsa ako kahit sinabi kong huwag na. Pinagbubuksan ako ng pinto kahit madaling araw na ko umuwi. Tinatanong ako kung anong gusto kong ulam. 

Hindi sya nakapagtapos kasi kinailangan na nyang magtrabaho sa murang edad. Hindi nya ko pinagtapos kasi nabuhay ako sa scholarship. Pero ang totoo, mas madami akong natutunan sa kanya, sa buhay nya.

Madami syang naging mali, pero marunong syang bumawi.

Wala Nang Hahanapin Pa

Apo Hiking Society

Mayroon siyang estilong kanya lamang

Ang kanyang pagkababae ang dinadahilan

Pagsubok sa pag-ibig walang katapusan

'Di naman daw nagdududa, naniniguro lang.

Ewan ko ba ngunit kahit ganyan siya,

Minamahal ko siya, wala nang hahanapin pa.

Kahit ano'ng sabihin ng iba, minamahal ko siya,

Wala nang hahanapin pa.

'Di raw nagseselos ngunit nagbibilang

ng oras 'pag ako'y ginagabi

At biglang maamo 'pag may kailangan

'Pag nakuha na ikaw ay itatabi.

Ewan ko ba ngunit kahit ganyan siya,

Minamahal ko siya, wala nang hahanapin pa.

Kahit ano'ng sabihin ng iba, minamahal ko siya,

Wala nang hahanapin pa.

'Di magpapatalo 'pag mayroong alitan.

'Di aamin ng mali, magbabagong isip lang.

Ewan ko ba ngunit kahit ganyan siya,

Sinasamba ko siya,

Minamahal ko pa,

Walang kaduda-duda,

Wala nang hahanapin pa.

will you?

madami na ang nagsabi ng i love you at nangako ng forever at always (exag! hehehe. may mangilan-ngilan lang) pero kung bibilangin ang totoong naiwan, naghintay, nyeta, isa lang yata! kaya hindi na ko masyado naniniwala dyan. words are super cheap. actions are the true deal. totoo naman, hindi naman siguro sila tanga para maghintay ng matagal sa walang kasiguruhan, pero wag ka na lang din magbitaw ng mga salitang  hindi mo naman kayang pangatawanan. kasi like charles dickens, i come with great expectations. dahil dyan, kanta na lang tayo….

I will (Beatles)

Who knows how long I've loved you

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime

If you want me to, I will.

For if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same.

Love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart.

And when at last I find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know, I will

I will.

 

for some reason i know i can wait. am romantic that way. yeah, foolish that way. pero dahil mapait kumain ng binawing salita, kaya i won't promise until am definite. sigurista much. hahaha.