starting over

last year (yes, am still talking about last year. call me nostalgic yeah?),  several things happened that made me doubt the order of things.

my neighbor closet gay friend broke up with his live-in bf of 2yrs and got committed to a girl classmate from post-grad, with plans of getting married even. he apologized to me because he said, "hindi ko kayang pangatawanan ang pagiging ganito. gusto ko magkapamilya... blah..blah..." fine. i did argue that gays can have families too. anyway. a college student neighbor of ours again whom as a young kid already showed his swag as a young gay, recently had himself a gf too! and has been broadcasting to the fb world of their every date/activity as a couple (which made me quickly look for the unsubscribe feature). AND then last December, few days before Christmas, an ex-colleague (female) of mine who used to have gf of 4-6yrs and professed how they are destined for each other, just got married. with a guy. ugh. my world turned upside down and felt apocalyptic already. these signs freaked me out. good thing a lez friend of mine got legally married with her partner of 10yrs. suddenly, the world is right and i feel good.

many things change, from the physical to the emotional to sexual up to spiritual. it can't be helped. but at the very core of these changes one thing doesn't and continues to be universal, it's love. we all love. whether it's from the bottom of our hearts, at the top of our lungs, head over feet/heels, or from the hypothalamus, we love.

and amid the pain, disappointments, it still feels good to love. tirelessly. we may pause, and it's okay. then resume, start anew. just like this new year of starting over.

so to keep the love alive and the good vibes going, let me share you this very special video that is guaranteed to make you sigh, cry, sniff, hope, love. please have your tissues/hanky ready.

 

super thanks to KM for sending me this link. i love you friend! :)

 

 

Thank you Expedia for producing this video. It means a LOT! :)

 

*this is my dream too. =)*

 

 

source: Landlopers



The Queer Guide to Surviving

a few minutes of net access

The Queer Guide to Surviving Middle and High School

I grew up in the middle-of-nowhere outskirts of Cincinnati, OH. This combined Ohio's love of xenophobia, racism and rivers catching on fire with the vernacular and dental work of Indiana and Kentucky. Don't get me wrong. I've got mad love for my hometown and get a little misty-eyed when anyone mentions Skyline or 98 Degrees, but it was also a terrible place to grow up sometimes, especially for an awkward-looking queer kid who was really into Agatha Christie and Drew Barrymore. I didn't really have the luxury of hiding my sexuality, because my giant lisp kind of spread the word for me, and I learned a lot from being the only Super Out guy around. Thus, if you plan on packing your Britney or Tegan and Sara CDs with you to school, this is how to deal.

1. Immerse Yourself in Your Interests and Study Your A** Off

When I was 12, I couldn't really talk to other people at school without it ending in being mocked or having my backpack thrown in the garbage. I had one real friend -- who did the morning announcements -- and Beanie Babies to stand in for the rest of a friend group. Sometimes, I found fleeting friendships with people, and I made up for a lack of community by finding that in books and movies, learning to inhabit other worlds where I could experience what love was like. And when I got to high school, I read almost every book our teacher recommended; I was that kid who asked for more homework.

I wasn't so into math at the time, but I got obsessed with what I was interested in, and it paid off come college application time. It also helped that I enrolled in almost every school organization I could, which meant that I didn't have to have that many friends and could cherish the few real friends I did have. Who even had the time to be popular?

**i totally agree with this. i think people will find it hard to mock /discriminate an A student or a high performer professional. **

2. Work on Your Coping Mechanisms

Queer kid, ice cream and reruns of Gilmore Girls are about to become your best friend for six years. When life, school and everything gets you down, you need to find those special places you can go to, those things that always make you feel good no matter what. Although other people can be great and helpful, learn to rely on yourself for your own happiness now.

**even on the straight world, disappointment, failed expectations are common so learning the best way to cope for you will breeze you through tough times**

3. Find Supportive Friend Groups

If you live in a Queer Narnia -- like that boarding school in Glee -- where everyone loves you, awesome! Be thankful for how lucky you are, because middle-school me would totally hate your guts.

For everyone else, don't make the mistake I did: Don't try too hard to be liked by everyone. If you are queer or read as queer, not everyone in your school is going to be cool with it, and even if you don't like that, respect their space. It's actually good life training, because out in the real world, not everyone is going to be totally cool with your identity. (Hi, Dad!) You'll want to learn how to start handling that now.

Everyone in existence might not accept you, but you can always fit right in with the Band Kids, the Drama Kids, the Art Nerds, AP English Geeks, the Academic Team or, if you're me, the Intellectual Metal Heads. (Not only are the latter supportive but also they usually have the best parties and -- because of that -- are surprisingly well-connected at school.) All of these groups of people end up becoming the cool kids when you get out of high school anyway, and so it's best to get in with them now.

On that note, if there's no one accepting at school, find the closest hippie-friendly coffeehouse and hang out there as much as possible. You'll meet cool people older than yourself, and if you live close to a university, you'll get the hook-up on college parties. This is the best thing that will ever happen to you.

**support groups can be outside work, school, family. my lgbt support group are the people i met here and from a forum before. **

4. Develop Online Networks

Because I came of queer in the early aughts, we had this thing called AOL, and their M4M chat rooms were helpful for me in coming to terms with myself. I was able to talk to a lot of older guys who weren't looking for sex but looking for what I craved: connection. The Internet isn't just about porn anymore, and talking to people you only know online is a really low-stakes way to open up about what you are going through, as long as you are careful. Don't be me and try to move to the middle of Texas just because a cute guy says "hey, a/s/l?" and you are 14 and have never gotten attention before. Do not respond "13/m/your future."

I came out to my first person on the internet, had my first sexual experience on the Internet (which kind of counts) and made some of my best friends through Xanga. In fact, some of the people I met on the Internet meant more to me than the people I knew in real life. (I still talk to a few of them today.)

**lgbt social network can be a good source of virtual support group too :)**

5. Talk to a Therapist or Counselor

Even if your family is supportive about what you are going through, you can't talk to them about everything, especially if those things are sex things. If they aren't supportive, it's important to talk to someone whose job it is to be supportive and help you through this time. Having someone to confide in is so important, and a therapist, counselor, mentor or other sage individual can help you not only open up about what your dealing with but also equip you with some of the language to verbalize it.

**i didnt know any lgbts when i started so twas really challenging and i felt lost. but now that i know more, i can share and help others in need. just holler! :) **
6. Learn How to Protect Yourself

For some, taking community classes in taekwondo or karate could be a useful way to vent your anger and frustrations and a means to even channel it into something healthy. The goal of these traditions to learn how to protect yourself without harming another person, which will be helpful for you. Learn how to stand up to bullies, but don't become one yourself.

However, for the pacifists in the audience, you can also defend yourself by just trying to avoid bad situations. Stay out of danger as best as possible -- because, for some, it's the difference between life and death. Don't antagonize people who look like they watch a lot of Wrestlemania, and it's just best not to antagonize people ever. Getting picked on sucks sometimes and retaliating might feel nice in the short run, but nothing sucks worse than not taking the high road and getting jumped in the parking lot.

Also, it's good to have friends who have your back, especially if those friends are on the football team. In my case, I was friends with our school's gossip queen -- who had dirt on everyone, even some of the teachers. (My nickname in high school was, I'm not kidding, Gretchen Weiners.) I couldn't throw a punch to save my life, but I could absolutely destroy you by letting everyone in school know about that time you masturbated during Biology class. Fear is a very powerful weapon.

7. Stay True to Yourself

This doesn't mean you have to be out, because that's not an option for everyone. However, don't be like the token gay character in Easy A and go down the beard route, which is just painful for everyone. If you are gay, don't make up a Canadian girlfriend, because that's been done. If you are a lesbian, don't go steady with any of the drama guys, even if they are good kissers.

For those who do go down the beard route, pick someone you really like. I once had a beard in Middle School whose only interest was the music of Da Brat and making fun of my "fancy" hobbies. Try to pick a best friend or someone who gets you, someone you can sit at home with on a Friday night and watch Mean Girls.

Also, while you are secretly making out with girls under the bleachers, figure out how to express yourself in ways socially acceptable at your school. Channel your queerness into punk music and pink hair dye. Join a band and drum your rage away. Become a gaymer. Start your own zine or art project. Embrace your future power queer and run for student body president. High school may be all about blending in, but that doesn't mean you have to hide what makes you special.

8. Make an Impact

If being out and proud is an option at your school, don't wait for it to get better later, when you move to a big city and get out of dodge. See what you can do to make your town a better environment for other LGBT and marginalized people, especially the ones who don't have the option to leave. If you can start a GSA without getting beat up for it, do so. While you're at it, be a mentor to other kids you know who aren't out or come from bad family environments. Try to make your culture more accepting and safer than the one you inherited. Because it's not just important that you survive, it's important to help others to survive, too.

 

Follow Nico Lang on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Nico_Lang

Drag King Workshop on Saturday, June 30

The first-ever Drag King Workshop in the Philippines!!!  - headline from GMA News.


Yey! Err, but what is drag king again?


Simply put, it is the opposite of drag queens, males dressing up in lavish/outlandish exaggerated female outfits.


This is the great oppotunity to bring out the butch in you i guess. :) If you're game, let's try this! :)

Drag kings are mostly female performance artists who dress in masculine drag and personify male gender stereotypes as part of their routine.



A typical show may incorporate dancing and singing, sometimes live or lip-synching to pre-recorded tracks. Drag kings often perform as exaggeratedly macho male characters, portray marginalized masculinities such as construction workers, rappers, or "fag drag," or they will impersonate male celebrities like Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, and Tim McGraw. In the late 1800s and early 1900s several drag kings became British music hall stars, and British pantomime has preserved the tradition of women performing in male roles. Starting in the mid-1990s drag kings have begun to gain some of the fame and attention that drag queens have known. - wikipedia

LeAP, Inc. in partnership with Dickie Jaxx presents "Packing Heat: Drag King Workshop," the first ever Drag King Workshop in the country!

Instructor: Dickie Jaxx


Date: June 30, 2012, Saturday


Time: 1:00 pm to 4:30pm


Venue: G/F FBR Arcade, Katipunan, QC.


Please send an email (to LeAPPhilippines@gmail.com) or a text (if a LeAP member posts a mobile number) so we can reserve slots for you. Please indicate your name and contact number. The event page is mainly for information dissemination and invites but we'd reserve slots for those who are seriously planning to go, and we track that via email/SMS registration. LIMITED SLOTS ONLY!



Fee: 200 Php


Please bring extra underwear, socks, eyeliner/mascara and any binding equipment (e.g. velcro binder, bandage wrap).



About Dickie Jaxx:


Dickie Jaxx has over 11 years of professional drag king experience, strutting his stuff on stages across the US, Canada, Europe, and Manila. He is the co-founder of the Cuntry Kings in Durham NC, the Citizen Kings in San Francisco CA, and the Daddy Kings in Asheville NC. Dickie is excited to share the transformative power of gender-dynamicperformance in order to envision and create a more just world on and off the stage.


Like LeAP, Inc. and Dickie Jaxx on Facebook and Twitter!


facebook.com/LeAPPhilippines
Twitter handle: LesbianActivism
facebook.com/DickieJaxx

Full length article on Drag King Workshop HERE




Vagina Day!

Let me hear your vaginas roar! :) It will be an exciting day because, It's Happy V(agina)-Day on March 31! Yey! :)

'Been a while since they last did The Vagina Monologues. What I really want to see is the Tagalog version. But for the meantime, this is a must see show for women. After watching the show, you will never see your vaginas *if you ever look at them* the same way again. :) I will definitely watch this one.

The special one-night performance features stage, screen and recording stars--as well as acclaimed journalists and activists--all formidable women in their respective fields.

Produced by The New Voice Company, the show is raising funds for Lila Pilipina, ILA the Philippine comfort women organization.

Leading the list of empowered women are screen legend and film star Boots Anson-Roa and international singing star Kuh Ledesma. Joining them is acclaimed stage, screen and TV actress and theater director Monique Wilson, who has been performing and producing the play and organizing V-Day events in the Philippines and around Asia for the last 12 years, and who was a special guest at V-Day’s 10th year anniversary show in New Orleans with other international stars.

Also in the cast are leading ladies of the Philippine stage--Joy Virata, Pinky Amador, Tami Monsod, Juno Henares, Sheila Francisco, Roselyn Perez, Madeleine Nicolas, Gina Wilson and Mae Paner, as well as acclaimed singers--Cynthia Alexander, Leah Navarro and multi-awarded actress/singer Aiza Seguerra.

The show also stars film and TV actress and host Giselle Tongi, along with a younger generation of rising theater actresses--Angelina Kanapi, Christine Carlos, Ampy Sietereales, Christine Escudero and Angela Padilla as well as NVC resident actresses Denise Bontogon, April Celmar, Rona Lou San Pedro and Nikki Ventosa.

Other special guests include multi-awarded actress/writer Bibeth Orteza, celebrated news anchor Ces Drilon, well-known journalist Dolly Anne Carvajal, respected women’s rights activists Anna Leah Sarabia, Edna Aquino, Rep. Emmi de Jesus and Rep. Liza Maza, leading OB-gynecologist Dra. Marlyn Ruaro and Gabriela’s cultural group--Sining Lila.

Poignant and hilarious, “The Vagina Monologues,” based on interviews with over 200 women about their memories and experiences of sexuality, is a celebration of female sexuality in all its complexity and mystery. The play inspired a global activist movement, V-Day, to stop violence against women, using creative events to increase awareness, raise money and revitalize the spirit of existing anti-violence organizations.

In 2011, more than 6,000 V-Day events took place around the world. To date, the movement has raised over $80 million and reached over 300 million people. V-Day was first launched in Manila in 2001 and has been reaching communities all around the country since then. The play and V-Day have received sustained critical acclaim in the country and around Asia and the support of the biggest female stars and women leaders in the Philippines.

The show is directed by New Voice Company Artistic Director Monique Wilson and Associate Artistic Director Rito Asilo, with Rossana Abueva as Executive Producer. Light Design is by Mel Roxas and Stage and Production Management by Tcel Maramag, Lisa Santos and Bambi Gamban.

Date: March 31, 2012

Venue: Music Museum (Level C, Shoppesville Arcade, Greenhills Shopping Center, San Juan, Metro Manila)
Time: 8:00pm
Ticket prices:


P 1,200 - Orchestra Center (Reserved)
P 800 - Orchestra Side (First Come, First Served)
P 600 - Balcony (First Come, First Served)

For tickets contact the New Voice Company at 896-6695 or 899-0630, or e-mail newvoicecompany@gmail.com.

Tickets are available at NVC, Ticketworld (891-9999) and the Music Museum (721-0635).
Visit www.newvoicecompany.com for more information about VDAY.
To join the movement – visit http://www.vday.org/.

All V-Day Manila events will benefit the Lila Filipina Comfort Women group

to others and to some - updated

now that i've let it out of my system, i'm happy to share that the two friends whom i still care about already apologized. =) we aired our sides, said sorry. done. now moving on to a more interesting part, the supposed threesome invite. i'll just post it verbatim.


girl: hi fire! i'm a huge fan.. i was wondering if you could meet up with me and my friend sometime? hang out lang..

firewomyn: sure! basta treat nyo ko ha. hehe.

girl: haha bukas, pwede ka?

firewomyn: hindi naman kayo nagmamadali no? hehe. can't tom. next Sat works for me. at ndi mo pa kinoconfirm kung treat mo ko ha.

girl: can we get your contact number? 

firewomyn: no. we have to communicate thru mental telepathy. hehe, just email me. and am kinda dubious abt this "we"


**ym msg from someone i don't know received on my phone** 


bigboy: hi. this is ___, girl's friend. haha :)


firewomyn: you're a man? *was thinking could be a butch*

bigboy: yeah, last i checked. haha


firewomyn: i am lesbian. *i think this is the first time i said that line to anybody*

bigboy: err.. *pause* okay, i don't really know how to say this.. *pause* but girl and i were talking about getting another girl to join us, and she said her local celeb crush was you. *msg cut*



**twas late night and was tired, so didn't reply anymore. the next day - **



firewomyn: your msg was cut. join you on what?

bigboy: uh join us for a ... tryst. but i realize now medyo offensive so i'm super sorry. forget we said anything.

#######

i know i've been mentioning it here that my ultimate fantasy is a threesome. i thought the specifics were obvious, so i should have provided that very minor detail that my fantasy is a threesome with two other women. no penis involved please.


the proposal was at first interesting *because it was the girl who asked first*, then shocking *because the boy got in the picture. i mean what part of the word lesbian in my blog header is unclear?*, then interesting again *haha. the shock wore off*, then bitin *they didn't even wait for my answer!*, and then funny *hey, it's not everyday you get to be invited for a "tryst with what seems to be a hetero couple*. and of course i won't let it slip that the girl (whom i am imagining is hot) categorized me as a "local celeb". naksnaman! hay, ansaya ng buhay. may drama, may erotica, may comedy. okay na yan, wag na pong dagdagan ng horror pls. hehe =)

shift

there's been this hullaballoo about the Vancouver kissing couple.

from another angle something else happened to them.

from "make love not war" caption to "oh shoot! am hurt, somebody help me!". the truth is, reality has a multitude of angles that translates to various meanings/perceptions for the onlookers. we are multi-faceted beings and a multi-million one if you're a woman and gay. a kaleidoscope of complexity for those who don't understand or choose to misunderstand/misinterpret. so to confine sexuality to just man and woman straight is you have to admit, absurd and unrealistic oversimplification. unless you're catholic (devout). haha. so instead of focusing on the body, which is man, woman and surgically/cosmetically altered (where no one will win debate-wise), let's shift our lenses to what's more universal - state/feelings. in/love and otherwise. wow, that just made me feel a ton load lighter and makeover better. =)

in love

happy

hot! 
 ahehehe

**photos from livelaughlovelesbians**

More reason to go to Pride March

i am swelling (and at the same time bawling) with pride for this very young man (14 y/o), Graeme Taylor who drove an hour to the teachers' board to defend his teacher who got suspended for a day without pay because the teacher ejected from the room two students who gave anti-gay comments.

am amazed how freely he can express himself in such an eloquent manner, as if being gay is the most natural thing to be and defending gay rights is the second most natural thing to do. i mean, wow! i guess that's what happens if one is out - you are free.

gay or not, i think Graeme is really smart, but because he himself had his share of the struggles growing up gay, he developed this sensibility and sensitivity to separate right from wrong and take action based on that. cheers to you!!! :)

------
i will march on Saturday, as i did for the past 2 yrs. i will be out in public, under the scrutiny of the homophobics, the confused, the media, with the possible risk of getting caught in camera and being discovered by people i know (family, colleagues, unknowing friends). i am gay. and i am not out. but once a year, i commit to be one with the community and publicly show my pride with being gay. and then most probably, have the greatest time partying after, because gay parties are the fiercest! =)


Graeme's guesting at Ellen's show


his speech:

LSP (lesbian sex positions)

i swear i was just mindlessly web surfing when this page turned out. i started with gay penguins and ended with dolls doing it. quite cute actually. =) since am like many who came here uneducated (there should be a school for lez. just saying) and effin knows nothing before, guides are heaven sent.if you have other LSP suggestions, please be kind and post a comment. =)

from lovegirls.co.uk:

------

Lesbian Sex Positions For Dummies

by Helen Childs
A girl's got to start somewhere hasn't she!? I'm sure we've all been in situations where we're left wondering what exactly the side-show contortionist we've hastily bedded is trying to achieve as she vaults across the room via the chandelier (what can I say, the décor at my house is a little pretentious!). Let's face it; it doesn't always quite go to plan. I for one have ended up in many an unladylike position, some of which have ended painfully; not a heartbroken sobbing wreck, but more like concertinaed into the splits and wedged between a wall and a bed. Believe me; nobody looks pretty from that angle! So, here are a few basics as a refresher for us all and as some handy (no pun intended) hints and tips for you lovely ladies who haven't given it a bash yet... So to speak.
Jump right in girls, the water's warm!



I have it on good authority that this is currently called 'The Student' because statistically (that's right, Mathematics... it must be true!) this is both the most common position to have sex in and the one you are most likely to use in your first girl-on-girl experience. I might also argue that it's the one you're most likely to develop "Lesbian-Bed-Death" (now an official medical term) in, which bookends the whole thing rather nicely. To use the more widely accepted terminology, I'd call this "Vanilla"; Tasty, available at every good ice-cream vendor, but sadly quite plain. It involves full body contact and the kind of intimacy that you can only get from holding somebody closely and staring into her beautiful eyes whilst you're whispering those three all important words. No, I'm not referring to "I've had better!"



Yes. I know. It's the least sexy word for anything that ever existed. It'd be hotter to call it an X-man name. But, most surprisingly, it's not a word that I realised existed until I was writing this (I apologise, if I'm alone in this. Thank you for providing me with a reason to educate myself in cunning linguistics...ahem). After extensive research on your behalf with a close personal friend of mine (I'm selfless to a fault I admit it) we discovered that it pretty much describes 'humping'. I assume they renamed it because that's equally unattractive. To quote the pixie friend in question, it's when "You get giddy on someone's leg"... or hip, or knee, or pretty much whichever body part, including genitals, you choose to rub yourself against, and is far sexier than any of the words I've used to describe it suggests. I'm not Sarah Waters. So shoot me.


Everybody say "Ahhhhhh!" In which you lie behind her, fitting together like two spoons in the cutlery drawer of love. (pauses to dry heave)



The traditional "Muff Dive". Well, I've always said it; you really can't beat a classic! Oral sex comes in many shapes and forms depending on how limber you're feeling, but the "This is a stick-up...Spread 'em!" approach never goes amiss. Also, and this is my 'HOT TIP' for August (so make the most of it because I normally play my cards much closer to my chest), she will be screaming her head off if, while you're going down on her, you penetrate her at the same time just enough to find her G-spot. I.e. NOT just with whatever comes to hand... chocolate bar, candle, bed-side lamp; NO, NO, NO! It's a guaranteed winner, or your money back. Not that you've paid me anything...we'll just have to work something out! Obviously, it's a given that, as with all of these positions (but particularly with this because no-one wants a teeth related accident to lead to anyone being kneed in the face), you make an effort to be sensitive to her needs (take instruction from her as to how she likes it) and as with all things it involves it own sets of risks including getting lock-jaw if you get too carried away. Just a word to the wise.



One such clichéd variation is the "69", and does exactly what it says on the tin, letting you both go down on each other at the same time. Vive La Equalite! However, if like me you're a barely-there wisp of a thing (unless you've asserted yourself and insisted on being on the top deck) you run the risk of inducing a bout of claustrophobia, especially if your chosen partner if considerably bigger than you are. It's certainly harder to relax and enjoy the experience if you're concentrating on more bread and butter issues... like breathing! This brings me to the next position which is basically a sort of lazy '69', in that it's exactly the same but on your side, which has the added bonus of you both having an arm free to do whatever you please with. Probably not a good idea to suggest thumb-wars though.



This is that old Romantic Monty Python song: 'Sit on my face... and tell me that you love me!' Not that I need to mention it, but singing the actual song whilst doing it will almost certainly kill the mood... as, infact, will mentioning Monty Python or any of their sketches at all during sex; it DOES NOT constitute 'Talking Dirty!'



Doing someone from behind is more versatile than you might assume and can be totally mind-blowing, especially for the lucky girl in the more passive pose because it allows for very deep either vaginal or anal penetration. If you're feeling particularly like showing off it's possible to reach around and stimulate her clitoris at the same time. Moreover, with her in this position and if you're a competent enough multi-tasker to achieve all of the above simultaneously, maybe you could rest a book on her back and get a little light reading done too. Or not. This is an excellent default position for a quickie, especially if you enjoy a little role play, and want to grab your partner and bend her over pretty much any object in the vicinity... the kitchen top, a work desk, a bench in the park. Though, with regards to my last suggestion, I will responsibly mention that you might get arrested for that so think twice unless you also have a thing for uniforms. Ooh... a charge desk in a police station... okay, now I'm getting carried away. They definitely wouldn't let you do that. Puritans!



In this position your legs represent the blades of a pair of scissors, enabling you to grind against each other as if you were two sets of scissors facing each other with the blades over-lapping. In all honesty I can't think of a situation where you'd be doing this with your stationary, unless you were terminally bored, which makes you wonder why they (the faceless people embodying the popular trends) called it this. Nevertheless it really is fun and sexy but can be difficult to get right and both come at the same time. It's a skill to be acquired, just so that you can say you can! It's also given rise to many a comedy drunken situation where I've tried to demonstrate how tricky it can be to horrified hetero on-lookers at parties only to slip over in the kitchen while trying to get my leg off a sideboard. Dislocated hips aside, you can't help but feel a sense of personal accomplishment when done correctly. Not dissimilar to this but using slightly fewer of your cunningly acquired trapeze artist skills is the sitting version of Scissors.



That's right, the enjoyable kind, not sitting in on a Saturday night watching fame-crazy nobodies sleep and argue over toast on Big Brother. Getting a third party involved in your sex life doesn't necessarily mean they have to touch you. Sometimes it can be as much of a turn on to be watched by a gorgeous mystery 'other', even if they do only have one arm (I refer you to my picture)... but maybe that does it for you?!


If you really want to mix things up you can always introduce the third person physically into the fun, which allows for many more permutations of positions. In this particular example one of you can receive oral sex whilst the giver is taken from behind. It occurs to me that ideally you want to aim to be the filling in the sandwich rather than the bread. I suppose for the sake of etiquette you should let everyone have a turn, as tempting as it would be for it to be all about me... me... ME! But then I am an only child!



I'm a firm believer in Safer Sex, but particularly if you're referring to a little light bondage. In a comfortable, trusting environment being out of control, or on the flip-side in complete control, can be a massive turn on. As can the introduction of sex toys if you feel inclined to spice things up a bit. Preferably though, don't enter into it with someone who thinks it's hilarious to wander off to the shops for a few hours and leave you trussed-up and tethered like you've been shipped off to market for sale.



Enough said. Don't be a wall-flower and fun will be had by all.
So, I hope you've enjoyed our whistle stop tour. There are of course a myriad of sexual positions which can be achieved for a more fulfilling and acrobatic type sex life, and much I haven't touched on as yet, but ultimately it's important to bare in mind a few crucial things. Any position is easier and more fun on a soft surface and with enough lube, and, sex is great but don't do it to the exclusion of important life details such as working, eating, sleeping, and washing. Especially washing!!! Oh, and most importantly, the thing to remember is to be happy, comfortable and safe, and I don't mean making sure you pack a brick and some mace before you embark on a rendezvous.

Manila Pride March na! :)

let's march! :)

other info:

Manila Pride March 2010

2010 LGBT Pride March - Guidelines and Reminders for Participants

Parade Route

Pride March Registration Forms

"It Gets Better" — Love, Pixar

i was feeling terrible the past days because of a series of work overtime and most awful last night because of domestic violence at home. i don't have the energy yet to write about it. but tonight, am hanging on to these three words, "it gets better".




to the love of my life: i hope to see the day, when after a hard day's work, i get to go home to the love and calm that is you. and all will be right. i'm grouchy today for a reason, but i love you in countless ways.

imagination at work

Will be in a whole day work planning something today. Was hoping to catch some train crush for inspiration, but no luck. Tough. As I was walking to the hotel hallway, my inspiration struck me big time!

Some 4ft by 2.5ft in dimension (will post tonight) of a painting. I guess won't miss you ladies that much today. :) tee-hee! Later dearies! :)

i wanted to look closely/touch the painting on its erogenous point, but it might weird out my colleagues. already got curious stares when i took its pic.

i love the painting and would be apt in the bedroom. imagine seeing it every night at the foot of the bed, while spooning with your partner. a magnified symbol of womynhood, with delicate velvety folds and a shyly peeping female phallic symbol.

looking at it will really be inspiring at the same time enlightening.

i think there would be less disagreements if this is hanging in the house. for heated arguments would turn to heated fluid exchange settled with passion.

looking at it then will be relaxing at the same time energizing.

it would also be a good conversation piece for guests in dinner or parties. there would be layers of meaning, some artistic, some obscene. some may not totally get it, but will still feel unexplainable sensation at the sight of the painting.

thus looking at it will be exciting at the same time thought provoking.


soo, care to join me in stealing this painting? =)

Tuyot

While watching tv with relatives, Aiza Seguerra appeared on the screen. I told myself, she's really talented. My guy cousin blurted out loud, "pag pumatol ka sa tomboy, matutuyot ka!".

My mind's auto-response was, "Tangina ka! Baka ikaw ang mukhang tuyot!!!". I looked at my family. no one contradicted him. I just sat there stunned, chewing chicharon that suddenly tasted like poison.

Honestly, that's what I believed then also when I was still straight & homophobic like them. Aah, the best cure to homophobia is to be a homo. Such an ironic twist of fate. Not that am complaining.

I told about the incident to my best lez pal (who's now overseas. Sob). Her comment was so simple I felt stupid & scared, "the more that you should come out. You're a living proof na hindi nakakatuyot ang mainlove sa tomboy.". waaah! Right on point! A smack on my head.

And in fairness, my gf is more blooming now after we became a couple. So her family & friends can't accuse me of making her tuyot.

I miss my best bud.

Note: san ba nanggaling yang baluktot na paniwalang nakakatuyot ang tomboy? Seriously, ganyan talaga ang paniwala ko noon. Probably because I don't know anything about tomboys/lesbians and napick-up ko na lang somewhere. Kaya takot na takot ako sa tomboy noon. Yan muna, saka na ang continuation at bababa na ko sa fx. TGIF na Payday pa! Sankapa! Gimik na!!! =)

Maulan

Muni-muni habang inaantay si gf para samahan syang magpagupit. Maulan, tuloy tuloy ang patak ng kamalayan at buhos ng damdamin, binabasa ang aking pagkatao.

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Ngayon ko lang naisip na siguro kung may straight na nagbabasa ng mga kwento dito, mashashock siguro silang malaman na pareho lang halos tayo sa kanila. Parehong nabubwisit sa traffic, nakikipagsiksikan sa pagcommute,   nahihirapan sa trabaho, kinakapos sa pera (kaya laging nakaabang sa sahod. Hehe), nananakawan pa, may isyu sa pamilya (read: dysfunctional), umiibig ng malalim (minsan kahit sa mali), nabibigo, naglalasing hanggang masuka, niloloko, nagpapaloko, nanloloko, naghahanap ng jowa, nakikipaglandian, winawarla ni jowa, gumigimik, nagpaparty, laging horny, tambay ng coffee shop, naiinsecure, naiinggit, nangangarap na magworkout/gym/sports (puro balak na hindi matuloy-tuloy. Haha), naghahanap ng kaibigan/kausap/kainuman/mauutangan, nagkakasakit, sumusugod sa baha, lumalaban kahit pagod na, nadadapa ng paulit-ulit pero paulit-ulit ma bumabangon, umiiyak ng sobra tapos tatawa, nakikipagsapalaran sa mundong hindi patas, nabubuhay para sa ikagiginhawa ng pamilya, umaasam ng pang-unawa, nangangarap ng pagbabago.

Tingnan natin ang tao sa paligid - mga tambay, boss, katrabaho (kupal man o hindi), kaklase (epal man o dedma),  kaibigan, sige na, pati kaaway, kapitbahay, magulang (na mahirap ispelengin),  kapatid (kahit pasaway), mga bata, matanda (na minsan mga walang pinagkatandaan).

Tayong lahat ay mga taong may mga magkakatulad na pangkaraniwang suliranin at karanasan. Mga tao. Mahalaga pa ba kung babae o lalaki?

Sana mas iangat pa natin ang ating pananaw sa buhay. Tigilan na ang feminism, manism (ano ba tawag pag sa lalaki?). Lahat tayo ay tao. Bago ang lahat, humanism muna.

dreamer

I had a dream.
I was about to get married that day.
But due to an unknown reason, I wasn't able to go to my wedding.
Another girl played proxy at the church.

Next scene, afternoon after the wedding.
The person I married thru a proxy was sitting and sad.
I felt the sadness too.
The person I married is about to leave that night to work overseas.
Sob.
We hugged.
Tight.
I felt warmth from my inner being radiate slowly
Outward, up to my fingertips.
We hugged.
Tighter.
As if quelling the impending gloom.
The feeling was so intense.
Synonymous to deep feeling
I have long forgotten.
I stepped back an inch.
To look at the this person who's about to go
And leave me broken.
Gulp!
I married a man.
OMG!

End of the dream.

-----------------------
You might be thinking that it's not a dream, but a nightmare.
I don't know what to make of it. Even after waking out of the dream, I can still feel the sensations and all the emotions they stood for - love , commitment, sacrifice, separation. But he's a man for goodness' sake! In my dream, I did not care. Now fully awake, I'm concerned. Does this make me bi? I'm not really a fan of labels, but as Tim Gunn always say in Project Runway, "It worries me." I think part of the explanation is my "dream husband" was a character in a Filipino lgbt film I watched a few months ago, In My Life. It's the story of three people - the mom, mark (son of mom) and noel (mark's partner). Mom went to the US to live with Mark, but can't accept his being gay much more his partner Noel. That's it in a gist. Now back to my predicament. Could it be that I'm also attracted to males? Male gays? In pursuit of enlightenment, I discovered more reasons why I'm not really a fan of labels. See the list below:


Androgenosexual: Attraction to androgyny

Androsexual: Attraction to males without reference to that person's own gender

Bicurious: "Someone who think they might be bi but haven't explored them selves enough to be sure"

Gray-A asexuality: Generally asexual, but with occasional sexual attraction. Demisexual is a subgroup of this.

Gynosexual: Attraction to females without reference to that person's own gender

Heteroflexible: Mainly heterosexual, but can be attracted to those of the same gender sometimes

Homoflexible: Mainly homosexual, but can be attracted to those of the opposite gender sometimes

Pansexual: Attracted to people regardless of sex/gender, and so including intersexed people and such.

Polyamory: people who like to engage in more than one relationship at a time.

Polysexuality: refers to people who are attracted to more than one gender or sex but do not wish to identify as bisexual because it implies that there are only two binary genders or sexes.

Pomosexual: or undefined sexual orientation, is a neologism used to describe a person who shuns sexual orientation labels (such as heterosexual and homosexual), and in turn chooses not to label oneself with a sexual orientation

Queer: Any sexuality other than heterosexual

Quite confusing huh? Maybe I'm a combination of homoflexible and pomosexual. My question now is, how come someone who shuns labels has a label? Haha. Go figure.

--------
picture my "dream husband", the one in the middle.

taste of discrimination

On my way home I had the unfortunate coincidence to see a high school classmate. I haven't seen this female classmate in years. I thought my luck would never end until that day I chanced upon her in the train.

Here's an excerpt of that unbelievable encounter:

Classmate: kamusta ka na?
Firewomyn: I'm okay
Classmate: may asawa ka na?
Firewomyn: wala
Classmate: e boyfriend
Firewomyn: uhmmm…
Classmate: foreigner ba?
Firewomyn: wala akong boyfriend. Girlfriend meron.
Classmate: ha?! Ano ka ba naman, ba't hindi pa sa normal
Firewomyn: normal naman kami. And if you must know (you idiotic piece of shit!) gay marriage is legal in seven countries. Would you dare call them not normal? (you ignorant moron!)
Classmate: wala bang nanliligaw sa 'yo?
Firewomyn: madami (I'm sure sa 'yo wala). Lack of choice is not the issue. We have a steady long relationship.
Classmate: okay lang yun. Pwede pa naman kayong maghiwalay
Firewomyn: (my inner self just slapped her to pieces right there and then). Sino may sabi sa 'yong gusto ko makipaghiwalay?

*translated version*
Classmate: how have you been?
Firewomyn: I'm okay
Classmate: are you married?
Firewomyn: nope
Classmate: you have a boyfriend?
Firewomyn: uhmmm…
Classmate: is he a foreigner?
Firewomyn: I don't have a boyfriend, but I have a girlfriend.
Classmate: What?! Why do you have to do that, can't you be with someone normal?
Firewomyn: we're actually normal dear. And if you must know (you idiotic piece of shit!) gay marriage is legal in seven countries. Would you dare call them not normal? (you ignorant moron!)
Classmate: don't you have suitors?
Firewomyn: I have several (I'm sure you don’t have any). Lack of choice is not the issue. We have a steady long relationship.
Classmate: but you can still break up.
Firewomyn: (my inner self just slapped her to pieces right there and then). Who told you I want to end it?


I've been living freely for a long time now even though I'm not out in my family. I've always been comfortable of myself and so are my friends and a lot of colleagues. Never have I imagined I'd meet a bigot face to face. My gawd! It's so freakin unbelievable! Good thing we're not friends. Gf was fuming when I told her of what happened. How dare her! My friends were laughing about it. That such a person exists in this day and age. Definitely not from UP (University of the Philippines - #1 school in the Philippines). This may pale in comparison to the discrimination US must be facing now, just like what happened in Maine.

truly you cannot make a closed mind understand, the same way you can't shame the shameless.
Before I forget, gotta to delete that classmate in my FB.

for all the lezzies and others

i was supposed to post a different melodramatic angsty entry, BUT be thankful that i won't do that anymore. instead, i'll open your eyes to the wonderful world of the funniest lesbian i've known *thunderous drumroll please* -

meet Lizzy the Lezzy!




for those womyn falling in love with her already, sorry to disappoint you ladies, but Lizzy the Lezzy is a stand-up comedienne video animation only. how we wish she's real right? who can speak the tongue of the lesbians in a tune that's unapologetic (read: proud) and entertaining.

if only lgbt rallies are as light and fun like those narrated/sang by Lizzy. there's always this popular notion that lesbians are angstsy (don't bother checking the word, i made it up) and such drama queens. maybe it's because of all the prejudice and centuries of repression. thank lizzy i didn't pose my planned entry anymore. hehe. well, we're gay right? so let's all be happy and gay! :)

more videos at youtube and at lizzy the lezzy website.

out and about

American Idol Clay Aiken admitted he's gay, to which the world replied, "We know!". Lindsay Lohan implied being gay by confirming that she's been going out with Sam for a long time now.

I didn’t realize that September is the coming out month. I would have joined had I grown the balls to actually do it. From what I've read online, there's this new definition of out. Where you do all the things that make people think you're gay except verbally confirm it yourself.


Lindsay Lohan Confirms Romantic Relationship with Samantha Ronson

In an editorial on AfterEllen.com last week called "Lindsay Lohan and the New Definition of 'Out'", we profiled Lohan and Ronson as an example of a new wave of same-sex couples who are re-defining the notion of what being "out" means.

Lohan and Ronson have accompanied each other almost everywhere for over two years now, attend public events together, wear matching rings, kiss in public, and have had their relationship captured in countless photographs. They have even spoken out together against Gov. Sarah Palin's anti-gay stance. They have done everything but verbally confirm their relationship — until now.



For me, the outing process is one glaring inferiority of being gay. Why does one have to officially announce to people about one's sexuality? Will the whispered gossip behind our back stop once we're out? Will the people be more accepting of us and our lifestyle/culture? Will we be treated equally if it's known that we're gay?

I doubt it. So why the elaborate effort to come out? Straights don’t do it. But then I realized, maybe because coming out is not meant for others to understand us, but mainly for us. Us acknowledging/accepting what we really are and sharing that new found acceptance with the people who matter to us. More of an FYI to them and if they understand/accept us/love us still, then that's a plus.

Verbally saying it to someone close to you liberates us somehow. You know how taboo being a homosexual is to most families (like mine). So to admit you’re actually one and affirm that with your family (with all the prejudices, responsibility, etc that go with being one) must truly be a defining moment. Hayy.

There's so much fear attached to being gay that you need more than balls to keep your stance. You'll need guts, heart, mind, soul, voice, all your body parts and more! Why? Because it is already challenging to blend in, much more go against the flow, deviate from the norm.

But does acknowledging the relationship with words still matter in an era in which the grocery-shopping, event-attending, ring-wearing and hand-holding behavior of same-sex couples is now reported on almost as often as heterosexual couples?

While saying it out loud is arguably no longer a requirement to being out, words still have power — especially to the vast majority of straight Americans for whom the presumption of heterosexuality is so great they simply won't believe a same-same relationship is true unless it is openly declared.

Pasted from http://www.afterellen.com/people/2008/9/lohan-confirms-relationship-with-ronson

People, specially the straights are the ones clamoring for us to come out. They either want to be proven right that so and so is gay, exclaiming, "I knew it!". Or they just want to see for themselves who the gays are, that they're real and not just some hush hush creation of their imagination or to know what they really look like beyond what the media/arts pictured gays to be.

Philippine lesbians are not just the masculine crooner Aiza Sequerra, there's also the vavavoom Sharmaine Suarez (used to be a sexy star), the athletic looker Laila Kuzma (did I get her name right? The used to be host in Eat Bulaga), there's the skillful only daughter chef of Gloria Romero, Marites Gutierrez, there's me, a feminine looking IT professional in a corporate multinational company. There's really a throng of looks, sizes, professions, and whathaveyous, almost close to saying we're not that different from everyone. :)

kwentuhan over cocktails

conversation among my womyn friends who doesn't know anythin bt my sexuality.

highly successful filipina careerwomyn:
it is so hard to find good men in the phils, i may end up being dyke soon!

well-travelled american IT professional:
(after staying for almost a yr in the phils to work)

if i stay longer in the phils, i think i'm gonna 'switch'.
there's just no good filipino men here. even the americans who go here only go here for the sex tourism.

highly successful filipina careerwomyn:
that's so true.
whenever i'm in the US, i meet so nice men (both pinoy and american).
they're just lovely. baffles me really.

proud-but-not-so-out firewomyn:
hahaha. really?
*that's all i did in the segment of that conversation:
laugh and act surprised*


hmm... if i had been out, conversation would have been like this:
:

highly successful filipina careerwomyn:
it is so hard to find good men in the phils, i may end up being dyke soon!

proud-and-out firewomyn:
oh darling! you wouldn't pass up as one! probably femme ;)

well-travelled american IT professional:
(after staying for almost a yr in the phils to work)

if i stay longer in the phils, i think i'm gonna 'switch'.
there's just no good filipino men here. even the americans who go here only go here for the sex tourism.

proud-and-out firewomyn:
well, it is not as if you can just switch to it for lack of choices.
but then you're very adventurous, so you might have fun with it.
i know i am! :)

highly successful filipina careerwomyn:
that's so true.
whenever i'm in the US, i meet so nice men (both pinoy and american).
they're just lovely. baffles me really.

proud-and-out firewomyn:
you tell me abt it! i dunno with pinoys here.
is it too much tropical heat that got into their heads or lack of iodized salt when they were young. i'm just so blessed 'cause i meet loads of interesting pinays. too much that couplehood is not the way to go here ;) wehehe.

all:
roarin laughter!

proud-and-out firewomyn:
grrls, seriously, if ur up for the switch thing, i can hook you up with some of my friends :)
*wink wink*


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swell! ohwell, there goes vodka, swimmin in my head.

an exclusive party

i am organizing an exclusive party for a balikbayan friend.

so here's my guideline on this exclusive party:

1. strictly all girls, anything that is biologically male is prohibited. i guess even transexuals too.

2. when you say party, this means, booze, or anything that has the same effect. read: alcoholic drinks.
the rise of the amats is directly proportional to the rise of the libido.

3. smoking ofcourse is optional (be it pot or otherwise). this an added excuse to do crazier stuff ;)

4. danceable, sexy, sing-able contemporary music. this is the foreplay.

5. this can be a meet our friends' friends or meet my ex-turned friend or meet my gf's ex-turned friend-turned my gf now. the lez links are so intertwined they'd resemble the pubes.

6. you should have the right mix of the beautiful/desirable, the aggressive, the entertainer, the intellectuals, the dumb/the newbies and the oc's.

7. have a few games that will involve everyone, preferrably with skin touching, like spin the bottle/truth or kiss (the opposing womyn on each end of the bottle shd kiss), body shots or strip poker (ok, that didn't have touching, but then what's next w/ the watching is up to how game you are)

8. you can rent a room depending on the size of the group or reserve a table in a bar. the more privacy, the better.

9. i hope everybody dresses up for this party. it can be themed or not.

10. if you bring couples in exclusive parties, they will create a subset of exclusivity, meaning they're exclusive to each other only. korni!!! this creates imbalance somehow. so partners are not encouraged.

that's all i've thought of so far for this sat's parteh :)

any other ideas??

Dykes In The City: You Didn't Get The Memo

12.31.04

By Shannon Ray




Relationships - everyone has had a few. When any two separate forces join as one, the results can be potent or placid. Mix in things like love, commitment and personal agendas, the scales can tip in no one’s favor. The rarely equal balance of power in any relationship is strange at best.

Things like control of the remote and bathroom territory are fought for on a daily basis. Control in a relationship has to be balanced between the partners and all relationships have a flow of their own. It’s a dance that only the two involved know the steps to, their own personal two-step.

The dynamics of any butch-femme relationship still amaze me. A femme harnessing her power can be sweet and loving or sting like no one's business. Butches know that. And they thrive off of it. We have the power and give you butches the privilege of thinking that you do. Remember that behind every successful butch is a femme telling her what to do. It’s quite ironic how the imposing butch rides shotgun most days while we the femmes take the wheel.

No one ever tells us that these things, we just seem to find out as we go along. I guess that most butches just didn’t get the memo when it comes to femme behavior. So, how about a set of rules that butches could go by, regulations to live by when dating and doing us. Try to remember you butches maybe have control in the bedroom. The femmes have control everywhere else.

We as a sisterhood want the Butch to understand and nurture us. To remember that just because you boi’s might wear the strap-ons doesn’t mean that we don’t wear the pants. So with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek - here are the Femme Rules:

Rule #1- The FEMME is always right.

Rule #2- Frequent Flower Miles = FFM. Know it, love it, live it.

Rule #3- Mind reading is not an option; it’s a requirement.

Rule #4- Hell hath no fury like a femme pissed off.

Rule #5- Finger sucking is a perfectly acceptable means of bartering.

Rule #6- Keep us happy - diamonds always work well.

Rule #7- The Butch is expected to read the mind of the FEMME at all times.

Rule #8- And, at all times, it is only important what the FEMME meant, not what she actually said.

Rule #9 -The FEMME always makes all the rules. They are subject to change without notice. No Butch can possibly know all the rules. If the FEMME suspects the Butch knows the entire rules, we can and will change them.

Rule #10- If it appears the FEMME is wrong (which we know will never happen), it is because of a heinous miscommunication. Eventually this can be traced back to something the Butch did or said wrong. If so, the said Butch must apologize immediately. The FEMME can change her mind at ANY time. The Butch is not allowed to ever change his mind w/out the express, written consent of the FEMME.

Rule #11- We have every right to be furious or aggravated at any time. Said Butch is expected to be calm at all times. That is unless we, the FEMMES want the otherwise. We will never let you know what we want you to be, we just expect you to be it.

Rule #12- If the FEMME has PMS, all the rules are null and void and the Butch must cater to her every whim. Gifts of chocolate, flowers and jewelry are greatly appreciated.

Rule #13- The FEMME is "the boss". The Butch may carry the boss title, and it may appear to others that the Butch is in control, but we know who the real boss is... and don't forget it!

Rule #14- When we say we are “fine” we rarely are. We use at the end of any debate when we are right and want to have the last word. This also applies to the “nothing” when asked what’s wrong. If a Butch gets two “fines” and a “nothing” during a conversation they are to not pass “GO”, they do not collect $200.

Rule #15- Shoe shopping is an art form. It takes great skill and agility finding the perfect shoes for an outfit that we don’t own yet.

Rule #16- It’s not your imagination, we do have a mental Rolodex. We can and will use it at any given point. And for any given situation as we see fit.

Rule #17- We hate it when you mutter under your breath, refer to us as the “ball and chain”, and say things like “ Yes Dear” or “Whatever you want honey.”

Rule #18- If ever in doubt, always refer to rule #1.

Life with us Femmes is never easy. We can be bossy, loud and downright demanding. We want to be treated like a princess while respected as very capable women. We never want to be second place in your life, nor the first runner-up in the love lottery. Remember that we’re still loving and doting while you push us away. News flash for those of you living in denial- Butches have a lot of crap and baggage too. It all depends on if you chose to read between the lines.


© 2004 Shannon Ray, All Rights Reserved