disheartened

sabi nila, life is not to be taken too seriously. if you can't fix its entirety, find humor in it at least.

maybe if we sum up all the little joys they'd amount to happiness.

i'm never good in math, and patience (with visions, long term), so i won't worry about them that much and just savor each joyous moment as they hit me.

in between, sadness, disappointments will try to knock off the small joy prettily perched on my heart.

heart will try to hold on to the joy, but sometimes (or was it often?), fatigue will pull me down and make me loosen my grip to joy.

and she'll have no choice but to fly away leaving sadness & disappointment clawed to my heart, sometimes too deep that i would hurt and may even bleed.

nothing is permanent.

sadness & disappointment will get bored and shoo away in search probably of their next victim.

joy that had to fly away is just hovering above and i was just not looking up because i'm feeling way down and heavy.

joy will fly back and visit me again, specially when heart is empty.

she'll tentatively hop on my heart and ask me "how are you?"

heart would tighten with pain and then cry, howl, letting it out, all to mean that nothing is okay.

joy will face me, cup my heart and hug it.

will whisper "hush now baby, i'm here".

and i will be alright. :)