3.23.2006

finally over.

bad trip days are finally over.
long walk.
lengthy talk.
deep kiss.
steamy sex.
hayy..

we're back to our so-inlove-can't-live-without-you status :)
welcome to happy days. :)

*thanks to you know who you are for the swell advice.

3.14.2006

badtrip pa rin



*this is the reason behind the bad day song in the previous post*

nakakatamad pumasok
wala akong kagana-gana
merong kumukurot sa dibdib ko.
tinulog ko na nga, ndi pa rin nawala.
parang wala na kong pakialam.
di bale nang ma-late.
umabsent na lang kaya ako.
tangina, ndi pde.
ndi pa ko regular.
ndi ko sha itetext.
yoko muna shang makita o makausap.
sa ofc muna ko kakain ng mag-isa.
sasabihin ko mago-OT ako, kasi ayoko sha makasabay umuwi.
gusto ko munang umiwas.
sana matuloy sha sa badminton nya, para ndi na kme magkita pa.
hay.
angsaket.
andami ko pa namang baong pagkain, pero wala naman akong gana.
isa pa uling hay..
sana wala akong mtg, para sa table ko lang ako.
ndi ko trip makipag-usap kahit kanino.
magi-ear phones ako at magpapatugtog ng malakas.
sana makapagtrabaho ng matino.
ang panget ko today! syeeet!
nakalimutan ko pang magpulbos.
ang oily na siguro ng face ko.
kainis.
5min to 12 na, ndi pa ngtetext ang mokong na yun ah.
dedma. ndi ko sha itetext.
anong gagawin ko pag niyaya nya kong kumain na?
sasabihin ko may tinatapos pa ko.
mauna na lang sha, ndi ako makakasabay.
pano 'tong pagkain ko?
ndi pa naman ako pdeng magpagutom sabi ng acupuncturist ko.
past 12 na ah, ndi pa rin nagtetext.
tangina.
sige, ganyanan na.

*nagring ang phone*
jowa: pde ka na maglunch?
ako: pde na.
jowa: may baon ka?
ako: oo.
jowa: kain na tayo.
ako: ok.

pakshet!!! *sabay hampas ng laptop sa ulo ko*
pangatlong hayyy...
ndi talaga ako magaling magdahilan.
nakng! umoo pa rin ako sa yaya ng taong dahilan ng pagsisintir ko.
lech!
ainakow!
magpapa-late ako.
ndi muna ako aalis agad.
bahala sya maghintay.
alis ako after 5min pa.

*matapos ang mainit na lakarin papuntang ofc nya*

jowa: amina dala mo.
inabot ko naman dala ko.

ayoko sana, pero ndi ko alam pano tumanggi w/o being too obvious.

*syet! ang submissive ko, sunod naman ako*

tahimik lang ako.

jowa: ba't ang tamlay mo?
ako: mejo masama pakiramdam ko *biglang haba ng ilong ko at sinampal nito ang pagmumukha nya!*

pagdating sa kainan.
wala pa rin ako mashado imik.

uwian na.
sinundo nya ko sa ofc.
jowa: galit ka ba sa kin?
ako: *deny to death* ba't naman ako magagalit sayo? *sabay tawa ng fake*
jowa: sigurado ka?
ako: oo.
jowa: hinawakan kamay ko.

sa bahay.
ndi ako makatulog.
binabagabag pa rin ako ng mga denials ko na 'i'm ok'.

i was hoping kasi na sya na magkusa na magsorry.
na alam & conscious sha na nasaktan nya damdamin ko.
pero it seems dedma ang lowlah nyo.
either, dense sha, OA ako or ndi na nya ko labs! waaaaah!!!! :(

dahil kailangan ko nang ilabas ang saloobin ko.
nagcompose ako ng madamdaming text.

asa bed na ko.
i wana feel better na :(
pag may dinadamdam ang puso, dama ng buong katawan.
lamu, i love you e.
pero sometimes you hurt me.
siguro unknowingly.
last night, the way you talked to me wasn't nice.
demeaning.
i dunno if it's bec of pride, pero i was hurt.
bakit ako sad?
i feel down.
i don't feel confident kaya siguro unproductive ako sa work.
gusto ko sana indahin na lang kaya tinulog ko na lang.
pero it's still there when i woke up.
i hope by telling you this, will make me feel better na.
i love you.

3.07.2006

bad trip day






Bad Day
by daniel powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day


Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day


(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that wrong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

3.03.2006

bag story



my gay friend invited me to buy bags and stuff at an ukay-ukay store near his ofc. he's been bragging abt great finds he's had there. and he's begging me to buy another ofc bag as replacement to the one he bought for me. he keeps saying to me, "ano ka ba ate, sylvia santos man, nalalaspag din pag inaaraw-araw!"

he's been asking me to go since last wk, but i just couldn't.
since i had an early start that day (7am!), i can leave early.
so 5:30pm, i left the ofc.
i was happy that time bec my boss, remarked that i did a good job. and when i told him i'm going, he just said, 'ingats' w/c in retrospect, he never said before until then.

my friend said, i'll need around P500.
i only have 500 in my wallet.
i withdrew from the bank another 500, which i placed in my pocket.

i'm not that familiar with the place, so i had to ask around.
when i finally reached the place near pasong tamo, my friend, who's a frequent buyer of that ukay-ukay store instructed me
that I just leave my stuff at the reception area along with his.
trusting him, i put my bag, my baunan, and my jacket.
i left my celphone clipped on my pant's waist bec gf might call or sumthin.
so we went on choosing and fitting.
i noticed that most of the people who go there were not ofc people.
the place is kinda humid, so i took my scrungies from the pocket of my jacket at the reception area.
then went back to shopping.
after an hr, we're done and was abt to pay.
when i had to get my stuff, all's there except my bag!
i didn't panic, thinking that it could be just at the receptionn table beneath the clothes and other stuff.
but after checking, it's truly missing!
so i began to consider the unthinkable.
omg! where's my bag?
where did you put it?! i demanded.
the receptionist, who's supposed to be on the lookout for our things,
said she thought i already took my bag, when i went there earlier.
but i only took my scrungies! just that. and i only touched my jacket, not the bag, explaining to her w/ exasperation.
then doing some thinking, at the speed of 1byte per 2min, she said with conviction, the gay and the preggy girl must have taken it.
bec they didnt stay long and just sped off after getting something at the reception area.
owkei, a gay and a preggy girl. that's a stretch. i stand dumbfounded and helpless.
gay friend's speechless.
bec he's always put his stuff there. along w/ his friends whenever they go there.
the receptionist also countered that this is the first time that this happened.
and i barked, tangina naman e, this is also my first time to go to an ukay-ukay store. why me?! *thunderbolts sound effect*

i suddenly realized, dear god! good thing i always have my phone attached to my body, otherwise,
i would have been in jail by now for the murder of either the receptionist or my gay friend!
or it could be a massacre out of temporary insanity, stabbing people in the ukayukay store w/ hanger hooks!
this tragedy is really crazy.
i have my celphone, so i had to call someone and share this burden.
gf first. whom i rarely don't go anywhere without, unless we have individual socializations, like now.
needless to say, she's mad. bec it's a stupid mistake to entrust your bag in an ukay-ukay store!
she made the ukay-ukay word sound really really sleazy (imagine dark alleys and icky men).
i admit, i'm no street smart, just smart, as in corporate, mall, acedemic smart.
heck! i don't even know how to commute to my ofc w/o taking a cab!
ofcourse, after all her hisses and incredulity that her street smartness still hasn't rubbed off on me after more than a yr of hanging out with her,
she had to end it with grrrr!!!!!
and a commandment: though shall not go to ukayukay ever again. hehehe.

the receptionist, was just repeatedly muttering i'm sorry in an insincere tone.
and i'm sounding estranged to it all every second that's lapsing.
at the end, i had to ask, who's accountable to the loss of my stuff?
somebody has to take the blame.
i need a neck to choke.
but before i can physically hurt anyone,
the receptionist, volunteered to pay 4k, from her salary (given the estimates i listed) and gave the ukay-ukay clothes (i was supposed to buy) for free.
it's no consolation.
but better than zero.

what's in the bag?
1500 worth of ofc id's and keys
500 money
my guess wallet (sentimental worth: gift from my sister last xmas)
around 1k worth of makeup
toiletry bag from thailand (sentimental worth: another gift from my sister on her trip to that land)
a 256kb thumb drive (of my gf, sentimental worth: her first acquisition on her first trip to thailand)
2 memory cards (64mb and 16mb)
my priceless old ids (from previous companies i worked for)
and the bag itself is worth 1k (sentimental worth: gift of my bestfriend for my new job).

it started with a bag, and ended with no bag! :(
sob.