and you asked me, "do you still love me?"
i answered sometimes i do, sometimes i don't even think of you.

but you said it has to be yes or no.
black or white.

how can i force myself to comply to your sense of order?

when i totally can't say i don't love you.
but by not being able to say that i don't love you, does that mean i still love you?

the truth of the matter is, i don't know.
call me unfair, call me indecisive, call me whatever you want to label me.

but my predicament remains.

lucky are those people who can easily draw the line between what is and what is not.
who can say yes or no without even thinking twice.

that makes me unlucky i guess.

when you've loved someone, i don't think
you can really unlove that someone.
the depth of love may lessen or take a different form, but it will never totally disappear.

in my now less emotional state
and a little sense of clarity,
you can ask me again.

do i still love you?

yes i still do.
i may not think of you as often as before, but that doesn't mean i don't love you anymore.

now let me ask you,
do you still love me?

in your black and white world,
you simply answered no.

the period to all my question marks, commas, ellipsis and hyphens.

the end.


fare thee well

Fare Thee Well
by Indigo Girls

fare thee well my bright star
i watched your taillights blaze into nothingness
but you were long gone before i ever got to you
before you blazed past this address

and now i think of having loved and having lost
but never know what it's like to never love
who can say what's better and my heart's become the cost
a mere token of a brighter jewel sent from above

fare thee well my bright star
the vanity of youth the color of your eyes
and maybe if i'd fanned the blazing fire of your day-to-day
or if i'd been older i'd been wise

too thick the heat of those long summer evenings
for a cool evening i began to yearn
but you could only feed upon the things which feed a fire
waiting to see if i would burn

fare thee well my bright star
it was a brief brilliant miracle dive
that which i looked up to and i clung to for dear life
had to burn itself up just to make itself alive

and i caught you then in your moment of glory
your last dramatic scene against a night sky stage
with a memory so clear that it's as if you're still before me
my once in a lifetime star of an age

so fare thee well my bright star
last night the tongues of fire circled me around
and this strange season of pain will come to pass
when the healing hands of autumn cool me down


when friends fail you

walang permanente
walang umaabante

iniiwan ako sa ere
dahil sa work ay lagare

is it my fault?
or theirs by default?

kasi they promised they would
but in the end, they never could

now i'm just so down
can't remove my frown

the tears just fell
damn! feels like hell

who do i tell?
what w/ an empty cell??

no someone to turn to
no shoulder to lean on to

guess now im-a go head my way
and live the life of one lonely gay.