modern women


Lez Pride

Something to cheer about! :) Rumored lesbian Eugene Domingo and lesbian role played by Shamaine Centenera-Buencamino both got nominated in the prestigious 6th Asian Film Awards. The former for best actress category, the latter for the best supporting actress category. Both also won in 7th Cinemalaya.

I was able to watch the film Niño in Cinemalaya and there was a scene that really cracked me up.

as background, Merced (played by Sharmaine) is the eldest daughter taking care of the family who lives in their uncle's old-rich house. Merced as a means of additional income, took in a nurse boarder, Kat. Below they were talking about a seeming clandestine incestuous affair between Merced's brother and their balikbayan cousin (daughter of the uncle).

scene: both were on bed, Kat massaging Merced's tired back.
Kat: Boarder nga lang ako rito, napansin ko na agad. Ikaw hindi?
Merced: Paranoid ka lang. Kasi may sikreto rin tayo.
Kat: (looks of realization)
Merced: Isa pa, hindi na nakakakilig isiping nag gaganon sila no. Matatanda na sila.
Kat: Sabagay..
Merced: Eh ano tayo?
Kat: Modern tayo no!

here's the article from Philippine Daily Inquirer:

Another Pinay in Asian Oscars
Shamaine Centenera-Buencamino joins Eugene Domingo with best supporting actress nomination
January 20, 2012 | 12:45 am

Apart from the two nominations of Marlon Rivera’s “Ang Babae sa Septic Tank,” another Filipino, theater stalwart Shamaine Centenera-Buencamino, clinched a best supporting actress nod, for “Niño,” in the 6th Asian Film Awards.

Buencamino joins best actress nominee Eugene Domingo and best screenplay nominee Chris Martinez (both for “Septic”) in the honor roll. Three years ago, Gina Pareño won best supporting actress for Brillante Ma. Mendoza’s “Serbis” and her costar, Jaclyn Jose, was nominated in the same category.
Regarded as the Asian Oscars, the AFA will be held in Hong Kong in March.

When Buencamino heard the news from “Niño” director Loy Arcenas a few days ago, she was initially incredulous. “I didn’t expect it because, during the film’s screening at the Busan fest last year, my costars Art Acuña and Raquel Villavicencio were the ones who got noticed,” she explained.

She feels it’s a welcome development that theater actors like her and Domingo are being recognized in the mainstream— locally and but internationally as well.

“In the past, theater actors didn’t get meaty roles,” she recalled. But the indie film movement, she said, allowed them to break the star system slowly. “Uge [Domingo’s nickname] made
EUGENE Domingo

headway. She proved that theater actors can do comedy and drama.”
In her Facebook page, Domingo said that she is “honored” to be nominated alongside Buencamino. “Shamaine is one great actress,” Domingo said. “She is my senior in the theater… [someone] I’ve always admired.”

Domingo dedicated her AFA nomination to all her teachers at the Speech Communication and Theater Arts department in UP Diliman— including Buencamino, who taught there when Domingo was a student.
Buencamino also won best supporting actress for “Niño” at the Cinemalaya last year.

When she was nominated at the movie press’ Star Awards in the best supporting actress category for Joselito Altarejos’ “Ang Lihim ni Antonio” in 2008, the souvenir program stated that she’s a veteran in acting derbies.

“Actually, I hardly get singled out,” she admitted. Apart from Cinemalaya, her only other acting trophy was from Cinema One for Lawrence Fajardo’s “Prinsesa” in 2007, she pointed out.

A newcomer
She feels she’s still a newcomer when it comes to acting in front of the camera. “Some mainstream stars think one workshop is enough. But it’s a constant learning process. Until now, I still watch and study my playbacks. I get worried that my gestures are too big or that my face moves too much onscreen.”
SHAMAINE Centenera photo by rodel rotoni
Buencamino, who’s in the cast of the GMA 7 afternoon soap “Kung Aagawin ang Langit,” is optimistic that theater training and discipline will finally get affirmed with these recognitions here and abroad.
“I hope these honors will mean more acting jobs,” she quipped.
But will she attend the Asian Oscars in Hong Kong?
“I’ll be unemployed by then. I hope I’ll get another job soon, so I can afford to attend the awards show. It’ll be my first time in Hong Kong if ever,” she remarked.

quote in the moment

putsa! relate! wehehehe. ang sarap idelete ang number nya pero memorized mo rin naman. syeet.

or sometimes no reply pa nga.


quote in the moment

my coming out story

in my Diaspora post last year, i shared that my family's shrinking. not because we have midget genes, *ehem, 5'6 ang bunso namin* but because my sisters are leaving.

last dec.28, my sister from US arrived with her fil-am kids. i was meaning to come out to her first because first, her American sister-in-law is a lesbian lawyer with a partner of, gasp! 20yrs!. second, she's the most liberated among us. i think she's seen it all but my being gay. and third, two years ago, in her high school reunion, we learned with shock from her fb pix that she mostly had butch friends then. when we asked her of it, she simply said, "e medyo totomboy tomboy ako nung high school." mygawd! and we didnt have the tiniest clue of her dark past. haha. i guess gay secrets run in our blood too. i then planned to come out next to my sister who's going to migrate to Italy in the summer.

attempt #1
we were slouching on my bed, talking about various stuff while waiting for a sister to finish in the cr. since she's into lace and sexy stuff, i decided to give her the hides-nothing lingerie given to me by a friend from this blog. i would have kept it had it not been one size bigger. anyhoo, i started,

fw: this lingerie, it's a gift to me by a fan.
US sis: fan?
fw: oo, madami akong fans *not looking at her*
US sis: fan saan?
fw: sa blog.
US sis: give me the link, para may mabasa naman ako.
fw: err, *tension building on my throat* secret sya e.
US sis: *gave me the puzzled look*
fw: basta.

my other sister suddenly opened the door with a bang and announced, "am done, cr is free." US sis quickly stood up and left. and i was left hanging, cussing to myself for being such a coward.

attempt #2
last day of 2011, i asked my US sis and Italy sis to go out malling. i was imagining us three in a resto, the two of them on one side and i opposite them as i do the big reveal over pasta and wine. what happened was, US sis went to the salon to get her hair done, Italy sis to the other end of the mall to find kiddie clothes. and i was left in the middle, my cloud of a plan pffft! i just went shopping for clothes. when both sisters finally finished, i urged them that we eat, even though my tummy's full with tension already.

as we were eating, i kept practicing in my head what i will say -

am glad the three of us are together like this. it's been a while. *getting teary eyed* you two being the eldest of my sisters, i want to tell you something important. you see, *drumroll* i have come to fall for ... women. i did not plan for this. but i realized that i am happiest with women. i hope you don't think differently or lowly of me because i love you both...

with each bite and gulp, i stared at them looking for the perfect timing. they shared stories, kwentos of our childhood, laughter, picture taking here and there. i just laughed and nodded with them, the stories not really sinking in because i have a different story brewing in my mind. i look at them and they were happy, not a clue how uneasy i was in my seat. my nervousness eating away the words i wanted to tell them. i wasn't able to enjoy the food i paid for. i was quiet on our way home. partly mad at myself for another wasted opportunity.  why is it so hard?

attempt #3
first week of January, a promo fare to Italy was released. it will save my sister around P70k. the catch is, the flight is Jan. 14!!! it's barely two-weeks preparation for a migration!

Jan.6 i asked US and Italy sisters for us to spa. US sis went to a party with friends. Italy sis was tired. And i am in panic. hay.

Jan. 7,  I said to Italy sis that we go ahead with the spa sans US sis. I got home early, went to my room, texted her that she just wake me up once she's ready to spa. I woke up 10ish and went to her, but she's already asleep. :( The next day I asked her what happened. she said she was too tired already. :(( 

attempt #4
Jan. 8, Italy sis left to go to her home already to start prepping. :( US sis flew to Cebu and will come back Feb already. 

outlook is getting bleak. sigh.

Jan. 9-10 i texted Italy sis frequently, almost begging for a spa. she finally agreed! :) She said she has some errands in Manila and we can spa after.

Jan. 11 night, we went to Wensha. did the shower, jacuzzi, sauna, massage and then finally the shabu shabu dinner. i figured we'd be soo relaxed that coming out would just steam off from me like vapor. an hour later, no steam still other than that from the stew. each food i bite felt like a boulder being trapped in my throat. i felt soo heavy and my chest congested. totally not relaxed. dinner ended and still nothing. *frantic*

we took a cab. tension reached my head and it's pulsating, screaming, "JUST LET IT OUT!!!*

dang! no traffic. just when you want to slow down the ride. past the mall, it's just 10min away from our house. my heart felt like it's about to jump out of my chest and just strangle me for my stupidity.

5min away from home, left with no time and choice, i finally faced her.

fw: since aalis na kayo and five years ka pa makakabalik, may gusto sana akong sabihin sa yo.
Italy sis: *looking worried* ano yon?
fw: uhm, *pause* nagkaroon na ko ng relationships sa babae.
*fireworks! it's like new year's eve all over again*
Italy sis: babae?
fw: yes.*long explanation of lack of men to admire beginning with my father, relatives, the ex-bfs*

Italy sis: tama ka dyan.

*walking to our house *

Italy sis: hindi ka na ba magkakagusto sa lalake?

fw: i dunno. i fall for the person, not the gender. i am not closing my doors, but it is something i don't see or feel now.

at past 12mn on Jan.12, 2012, after several failed attempts, i finally came out to one of my sisters. what joyful and defining moment when she said, "ang mas mahalaga ang happiness mo."


Gayest Cities

mirror, mirror on the wall, which is the gayest of them all? the mirror, or rather The Advocate has spoken. The Advocate is a prominent publication for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities

1. Salt Lake City - dang! i was here two years ago! and only met one lesbian colleague. maybe the straights i was with turned the others off. hehe. i should seriously go back. :)
2. Orlando
3. Cambridge, Mass.
4. Fort Lauderdale
5. Seattle - well, Grey's Anatomy is here, where the hottest lez couple are. :)

6. Ann Arbor, Mich.
7. St. Paul and Minneapolis
8. Knoxville, Tenn. (Its main drag downtown is named Gay Street, by the way, but city fathers weren't thinking sexual orientation way back when that was done.)
9. Atlanta - i personally know one hot lez from here. tee-hee.
10. Grand Rapids, Mich.
11. Little Rock, Ark.
12. Portland, Ore.
13. Austin
14. Long Beach
15. Denver

full article here.
criteria used
if I am to have the top 3 Gayest Cities in the Metro, off the bat i'd say -

1.Malate ofcourse! - no explanation needed. okay, it's not technically a city, but hey, it's a gay city in itself. hehe
2. Makati - Burgos, Makati Ave. where the transgenders/sexuals seem to be the fave companions/friends of foreigners based on visibility. This is also where the coolest gay bar,Government was located, until A-Venue came to be and the covert club ceased to exist. sigh.There are loads of fab gays too from the corporate, including moi! haha.
3. Quezon City - UP Babaylan, call centers, Palawan club (gay bar), and other gay bars too.

i think i have to make a serious research and article about this. :)

happy moment 2

news flash! i just came out to one of my sisters and it was a success! :) ang saya lang! kumakabog pa rin ang dibdib ko as i type this. hehe. saka na ang full kwento at magtata-talon pa ko sa tuwa! hehehehe.


STOP in the name of happiness

hello ladies :) this article at the bottom got published in inquirer.net indicating that they don't know who the author is. a simple google search revealed the originating site, which is marcandangel. which i also read and love. since it's still considered new year, 'thought i'd also share here. =)

i am feeling the good vibes and the positivity mainly because i did several of the stops below (without conscious reference to the article). jan. 1 morning, what i did first thing was to sit down on my bed, open my planner. instead of a new year's resolution, i identified my top focus for 2012 and what i need to do to achieve them. doing that helped put clarity and purpose for me.

2012 end of the world aside, i don't want to let moments get wasted, look back with regret and disappointment that i missed the opportunity of time to be happy. simply, i don't want time to just pass me by. so am making time for time. now. =) enjoy reading everyone! *power hugs*

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
  5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
  6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
  8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
  9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
  10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
  12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
  14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
  15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
  16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
  17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
  18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
  19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
  20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
  22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
  23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
  24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
  26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
  28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Train Crush 25

this is how to be blown away in 3 steps.




altogether now... woooow! =)
i could easily say you closely resemble Glaiza de Castro but i think you are more beautiful in a simple, charming way with your barely there makeup and endearing hint of shyness. i think i heard divine harps playing magically when you smiled and every time you utter something. 

you may not be a celebrity, but you instantly transformed me into a gushing, nervous fan. i liked you so much that even though you're standing so near to me, and there are people pinning at my back, i still dared take your pic throwing caution to the throng behind. 

beauty has the power of transformation. Train Crush 25 armed me with courage, brought out the resourceful in me, made me hopeful and more importantly gave me ethereal joy. =)


replied, finally.

happy happy! :) sa wakas tumino na ang DSL namin sa bahay. sa tagal kong offline, narealize ko na:

noon - ang uso ay 9 lives,
ngayon - ang meron tayo ay 2 lives, offline and online lives. hehe.

i felt like a part of me died when our DSL died for weeks (offline life). tinigilan ko na ang pagconnect/surf sa iphone at mamamatay naman ako sa taas ng phone bill ko. hehe. sandali din akong nalibang sa twitter. hehe. then naisip ko na nakakadistract sya sa blogging. at may malaki akong atraso, kasi two months na pala akong hindi nagrereply sa mga comments. pasensya na po. bilang bawi, nagreply na po ako. PLUS, ako ay magro-roll call hehe.

tcf - 5k tayo sa Rainbow Run ha :)
eloy - yes, expect more Oprah from me.hehe
pepita - dali, magtren ka na, para mafeature ka sa train crush series ko :)
purple - cheers to friendship spaceship!
lucidmoments - hey, thanks for the comments and sharing in my joy on sme of my posts :)
Anonymous - sana someday may nick ka na so i can properly thank you :)
gangrenes - have faith, malay mo next na ay  #being gay. it's more fun in the philippines. hehe
tzikai - tuwa naman ako sa shinare mo abt 6yrs ;) kwento ka pa ha :)
twistedhalo - meet/chikahan tayo ulet.pero pag natapos ko na si Murakami. out of stock pa rin ang Kafka on the Shore.
rz - oist! ano na balita sa yo? may mga nagkakacrush sa yo dito sa blog ko.hihihi.
JaDa - salamas. kileg naman :)
peterparker - musta na? sana magka-mp3 ang Narda ni Krizza :)
NYC baby - ang prolific mo! will share your stuff pag nagstabilize na net connection ko :)
Serenity - thanks for reading for 7yrs, but am not Lara.hehe. she has a different blog po. Ang super thanks for your info about Train Crush 21. is it okay to blog about it?
S. - napaisip mo ko. hope you can tell more about that bi thing.

sa tagal ng last comments nyo, baka hindi nyo na magets ang mga messages ko sa taas. haha. ok lang, isipin nyo na lang autistic ako.:D

ayan muna at madami pa kong gawaing kung anu-ano. gosh, namiss ko kayo =)


Rainbow Run :)

takbo tayo! :)

“Rainbow Run
– A Colorful Run To The Finish”

on January 29, 2012, Sunday,
at the Venice Piazza, McKinley Hill, Taguig City.

Run with an open mind and an open heart and express yourself regardless of your Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in a celebration of Equality, Individuality and Diversity.
Come in your most creative running ensemble and be up for Special Awards;

“Most Original Runner”

“Most Fasyon”

“Pinakamagandang Hayop sa Balat ng Lupa”

and Take Home Limited Edition Premium Items

Registration Fees:

3K – PHP 450 - 5:40 AM

5K – PHP 550 - 5:35 AM

10K – PHP 650 - 5:30 AM

Registration Venues:

ROX - Bonifacio High Street, Taguig City, Fridays- Saturdays

Royal Sporting House - Level 2, Glorietta 4, Makati City

Royal Sporting House - Level 2, Padre Faura Wing, Robinson's Place, Manila

Reebok - Level 2, Festival Supermall, Muntinlupa City

Reebok - Upper Ground Floor, SM Megamall Building A, Pasig City

Reebok - Level 2 , Trinoma Mall, Quezon City

Daily Registrations

November 25, 2011 - January 15, 2012
Registeation Online through www.pepsquadevents. com
Race Kits will be delivered on or before January 27, 2012

This is not just a run.
It’s a statement.
It’s taking a stand.
It’s choosing to accept who you are –
With every step,
With those who share the same
Open mind and open hearts

For more information, You may contact:

Pep Squad Events and Marketing Services, Inc.
Unit 304 Citiland III, VA Rufino St.
Legaspi Village Quezon City

Ladlad Partylist Headquarters
Unit 3-C, 4K Plaza
677 Shaw Boulevard
Kapitolyo, Pasig City