been uber busy the past weeks. busy that's part fun and exhausting. so many stories to tell really. just need time to sit down and do my tell-all. :) soon! so posting this one for now. =)


Oh Shit, Two Lesbos Took Me Home!

Feb. 28, 2011
Up until very recently, I could only say I’ve had group sex on one occasion – it was a foursome – and it was a sore disappointment that lead to the other girl having a crying fit and me feeling a little irritated with my girlfriend for having had sex with my best bro. All in all, it wasn’t really worth it, although it does make for a good conversation piece now and then.

But not so long ago, this all changed! Maybe it’s because I started applying moisturizing lotion to my arms and face – after all, according to Seinfeld, an orgy guy has to use a lot of lotions.
An old friend of mine from high school who lives in Brooklyn now, Julian, invited me to a party in Williamsburg. It seemed like the kind of thing that would entail a lot of dancing or just standing around feeling lonely, but since I’m very fond of Julian and I wanted to see him and catch up, I decided to go. Sure enough, it was a dance party with only a small makeshift bar serving beer and shots of whiskey. I actually liked the music they were playing, but I still wasn’t inclined to dance. Thankfully, there were tables and my friends were all sitting down and sipping beer. With the exception of one attractive girl sitting next to Julian, there were all dudes, and like me, they were on the prowl.

I felt a sense of solidarity with these bros, because they were all pretty funny and, like me, had no game on the dance floor. We were just a bunch of lonely bros, and even though we probably weren’t going to get any, we had each other.

We went outside to smoke cigarettes. I noticed two girls with dreadlocks standing with different groups of people. I approached the one who was closer to me and said, “do you realize that that girl over there looks like your dead ringer?” She seemed to take offense at this remark. “That’s just because we both have dreadlocks,” she said. I insisted that it went beyond that, but the conversation stopped.

I was surprised that I had said anything to this dread-head, because usually I’m skeptical of white people with dreads. I don’t even think it’s necessary to explain why. But there was something about her. She was very pretty, in spite of the dreads, and she had a way about her that I appreciated.
Later on in the evening most of my friends left but they said they would be heading back soon. When I went to our table, I found none of them were there, but the dread-head and an equally attractive friend of hers was there. I sat down anyway and sipped my beer. “I am sorry about that remark I made earlier,” I said in earnest; I actually did feel bad about it, because as much as I’m opposed to dreadlocks, it does not give me license to make snarky remarks to people who sport that look. If I were in her position, I certainly would have been rather annoyed if someone had said that to me.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. It did not seem like she had been offended in the least. “I’m Patricia,” she said, “and this is my friend Katie.” I introduced myself, shook their hands, and explained that this had been my friends’ table, but that most of them had left and so I was sort of riding solo. The three of us got to talkin’. Katie said to me, “you know, you are very attractive.” I was taken aback! I do not have low self-esteem, but strangers, especially girls who I meet at bars or parties, are not in the habit of complimenting my good looks. “Oh, thank you,” I said. “That is so flattering – don’t keep it up, it will go to my head.”

“Let it go it go to your head,” she said. I told them that they were also both very attractive. I started talking to the other one more, who I actually found more attractive, in large part because she did not have dreadlocks. She was a little shorter, with longish brown hair and a slightly dark complexion; I speculated that she was of Italian descent, or at least from that general region were people have an olive hue about them. The conversation was going swimmingly. Not once did I feel as if I was forcing it or that I was being creepy – you know the feeling, when you’re talking to a girl at a party, and you begin to realize that she’s just tolerating your presence until she finds an excuse to go away. There was none of that; in fact, I felt like, if anything, Katie (and Patricia, to some extent) was driving the conversation and asking me questions about what I do. I told them that I was a writer and editor, etc. etc., and they were eating it up.

I started to wonder, what the hell is going on? Even girls that want to sleep with me aren’t this nice. Every once in a while, Katie would remind me how handsome she thought I was. It was starting to go to my head, and like she said, I just let it happen. At some point in the night, Patricia went off with some other friends of hers, and it was just Katie and I talking at the bar. She continued to make inquiries about me and my life, and she also spoke very openly about her own life and her various outlooks on things. It is a good sign when the girl you’re talking to speaks about herself. This is what they say about interviewers, and I believe it extends to all kinds of conversations.

An Asian guy with neat looking glasses approached us; he was Katie and Patricia’s friend from art school. For some reason – I cannot remember – we began talking about using bicycles to get around the city. I told him that it was a noble thing to do, but that I avoided bicycles because I’ve had several bad accidents and once I had to go to the ER for a broken collar bone. This guy began to get a little indignant and self-righteous about it, although I could tell that he wasn’t being serious. Katie excused him. “Don’t mind him,” she said. “He gets that way sometimes.” When he stepped away, she explained that part of his attitude had to do with the fact that he had come out a week ago and he was experiencing a new life of gaydom. I was a little surprised that he had only recently come out, because it seemed to me that his homosexuality was very apparent, and I’m not even very good at picking that up. When he was on his way out, I got his attention and said, “Don’t go home with your hard-on, bro.” Katie laughed and I thought, wow, I’m an amusing guy!

Katie began to detail some of the relationships she had been in. After a long anecdote about something or other, she concluded, “so that’s why now I date girls.”
God damn it, I thought. As it happens, this was not the first time I pursued a girl who turned out to be a lesbian – or, at any rate, a lesbian at that particular point in time. I was in a state of disbelief for a few seconds. “Wait – so you crossed the border? And Patricia is your partner?” I asked. She laughed at my expression and answered in the affirmative. I excused myself to smoke a cigarette.
When I was outside smoking, my friends returned. Julian, actually, had left for good, but I knew Julian’s friend Jack pretty well because he is my roommate’s friend from high school. I explained to Jack how I had been talking to these two girls. “Damn, bro, you didn’t know they were lesbos? I tried to tell you. They were holding hands under table.” We laughed over that.

“Damn,” I said. I thought about it for a while. “Shit, I’m going to bring it anyway.” I went back up and continued to talk to Katie until it was time for us all to leave. We rejoined Patricia and lit cigarettes. Once again they brought up how handsome they thought I was. We were discussing what our plans were for the rest of the evening, and Patricia off-offhandedly said, “well maybe you can come home with us.”

I chuckled a little and puffed my cigarette. Wait a second, I thought to myself. The meaning of Patricia’s proposition registered. I felt some activity in my loins, but I told myself that, surely, she was pulling my chain. “You’re pulling my chain,” I said.

“I don’t know,” Patricia said. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
“Do you mean, like, am I a virgin?” I said, and I chuckled a little, which was my way of indicating that I wasn’t taking them too seriously.

“No, I just mean can you handle it,” she explained.

“Oh, I can bring it,” I said, all the while trying to seem disinterested. The three of us spoke more about our plans. It was very difficult for me to discern what they were actually thinking. Yet again, they remarked on how handsome I was and also added that I was very charming, too. They invited me to get in a cab with them, because in any case we were headed in the same direction. We arrived at their stop. “So…” I said. “What’s up?” They invited me up. OMG, OMG, OMG, I thought. The possibility that it was all some elaborate practical joke still seemed very real. They had a nice apartment, filled with their artwork and decorated in a kind of way that seemed to say, “I got some money and I’m into design.” Katie and I sat down on the sofa and made small talk while Patricia fixed us a vodka sodas.

“You guys have a nice place here,” I said.
“Do you want some coke?” Katie asked.
“Yes,” I said.

In the bedroom, I took all of my clothes off. I started to think of myself as an attractive piece of meat for them to play with, and I was OK with that. I started to make out with Katie. I made short order of getting her undressed. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing about Patricia, who was so far uninvolved. “What about you?” I said to her. Katie and I were standing next to each other, naked, looking at Patricia. Patricia got on her knees and started to give me a blow jay. I continued to kiss Katie. “Lets go over to the bed.” I switched over to Patricia and got her undressed. It was difficult for me to pay attention to what Katie was doing, but I think that she was pleasuring herself.
I went downstairs, so to speak, on Patricia. “It looks like you know what you’re doing,” Katie remarked.

“I told you I could bring it,” I said as I pulled some pubic hairs off of my lips. I felt myself getting another blow jay. “I want to fuck one of you,” I said. Katie wanted me to start with her. We arranged ourselves so that as I penetrated Katie Patricia could also perform cunnilingus on Katie. “You are sort of like Jane Fonda at the end of Barbarella – you know when they try to kill her with the Pleasure Machine,” I said. This was true; she was not unlike Jane Fonda. “A French director did that movie,” I added. It was good that I had had a lot to drink and that I was on drugs, because otherwise this situation would have been too much for me and I would have already finished. We switched so that Patricia could get in the Pleasure Machine.

“How should we finish this?” I asked, after some time had passed. I knew that I could come soon if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to unceremoniously conclude the affair.
“You’re in it for the long haul,” Patricia said. Damn, I thought.

I woke up in the morning on the couch. They had sent me away after we had all finished – they had wanted some alone time, I suppose. I went into their bedroom. The sight of their naked, sleeping bodies aroused some turmoil in my loins. I nudged Patricia’s shoulder. She groaned and said, “leave us alone we need to sleep.”

In the living room I lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out of a window. I inhaled very deeply and rubbed my brow with my hand. I had a splitting headache and I didn’t know what to do. I threw the butt out the window and sighed. There was one of the grocery list notepads on the refrigerator. I tore off a piece of paper and composed a note for them.
Dear Patricia and Katie,
I had a good time last night. Thank you for inviting me to your home. I have no regrets. Give me a call sometime if you ever want to hang.
All the best,
Neal M.
I put the note on the coffee table and quietly left. It’s been two weeks, and I have not heard anything from them.

source: thought catalog

February LABIA goes to ---

this is what i call a photoetry blog. in tagalog, litratula. hehe. a brilliant collaboration of photography and poetry by lesbian friends. the owner of this blog is the very good writer Shakira Andrea Sison who's based in new york. i've seen her write in the campus paper, philippine star, in her other blogs and now here in her latest artistic release. the body of a sexy athlete in a towering height of a model. she runs, bikes, swims, plays the guitar among other things. in short she's quite a catch. hehe.

check out her blog  - litratula.com and experience art in multiple forms. 

my favorite entry FIRE EATER is this, the one with allusion to fire :)



Today, a love just got stronger (happy 7th anniversary to R&R!) while somebody's just ended. And here I am in the middle, geographically single (but emotionally taken) longing for the love of my life (see you soon baby!). Love's strength is only as strong or as weak as the person bearing it. We love. Sometimes we get lucky, oftentimes it just sucks. We try. And try. And try again. Not because we're masochists nor optimists. But because we're just fools.


FB Adds 'Civil Union,' 'Domestic Partnership' To Relationship Status Options

Facebook has added two new relationship status options users can include in their online profiles: "in a civil union" and "in a domestic partnership."

The new fields are being rolled out in the U.S. and several other countries, including Canada, France, the U.K., and Australia, starting today.

"This has been a highly requested feature from users," said Facebook's Andrew Noyes, manager of public policy communications. "We want to provide options for people to genuinely and authentically reflect their relationships on Facebook."

Among other information included on their Facebook profiles, such as their alma mater and favorite books, users also have the option to characterize their relationships. Previously, the set of options included: single, in a relationship, married, engaged, it's complicated, in an open relationship, widowed, separated, and divorced.

The changes were made in consultation with Facebook's Network of Support, a group that includes LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] organizations such as the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, and the Human Rights Campaign.

"As LGBT people face a patchwork of relationship recognition laws, this gives people more tools to adequately describe their relationship," said Michael Cole-Schwartz, spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign. "Facebook has been a company that has tried to be inclusive of the LGBT community and this just one sign of it."

Richard Socarides, president of Equality Matters and former gay rights advisor to president Bill Clinton, echoed Cole-Schwartz's praise.

"Facebook has always been an empowering place for gay people--it's a place you can be yourself in relative safety," Socarides told the Huffington Post in an email. "This is a natural progression of that. In most places, gay Americans can't yet marry but they may be able to formalize their relationship short of marriage. This change reflects that reality. Well done."

Although Facebook's new relationship status options mark a milestone for the LGBT community, Cole-Schwartz noted that challenges remain, particularly when it comes to dealing with cyberbullying, harassment, and hate speech online.

"There are people who are vulnerable and people who are going to be bullies online and people need to have the right tools to keep up with that," Cole-Schwartz said. "That will continue to be something that all online spheres wrestle with and need to be cognizant of."

See the screenshot of the new relationship status options below.

source: huffingtonpost



tama na muna ang landian. magseryoso muna tayo. hehehe.


I, _________, Filipino, of legal age with legal residence at __________________, after having been witness to the maddening rush of singles out to find a date on Valentine’s Day, after heckling them as headless chickens with a silly priority, after having narrowly escaped a stoning by these same singles after uttering that aforementioned remark, after having been sworn, do hereby declare and depose that:

1. I am a steeled, calloused woman, a small player in a game the big boys play, but a player nonetheless.

2. As such, I scoff at the cutesy stuff and do not spend precious time engaging in trite discussions on the merits of such weightless matters as where I can find a date, will he call or does he like me. To the best of my ability, I endeavor to rid my mind of such folly. Desperately.

3. I fully comprehend and wholly accept the crass commercialism of Valentine’s Day. I realize that it is a concept exploited, abused and capitalized – in the complete sense of the word – by greeting card companies, restaurants, hotels and mattress makers.

4. Despite the above, I am still a fool for romance.

5. I am a pushover for moonlit talks, fresh flowers, impulsive gifts and tender, clever words of endearment. I dream of pony rides for two in a faraway place, of sheltering beneath a soft blanket against the cold night wind, of taking long walks on a beach at sunset and of a hand to hold.

6. I contend that these shallow thrills reveal a deeper emotion, a secret wish common to the vast majority of single twenty-somethings. As part of the aforementioned category, I further contend that this wish may be pared down to a longing for a hand to hold.

7. With this, I assert that longing is a state of the mind and heart, a somewhat wrenching proposition, but a condition that may be alleviated by diversions unique to the individual. It is a state that normally ends when a person has found someone to whom he can devote all of his time, passion and energy.

8. For the record, I am not in a state of longing. But having sifted through the serene albeit grudging wisdom of the dumped, the insightful and sometimes catty discussions of modern-day sages and my own eager experience, I discern and believe all I write to be true.

9. With the foregoing as guide, I do then gently advise that if by some favored chance, you meet the person with whom you can happily share a life, then by all means, do everything in your power and beyond to be a source of happiness to that person without sacrificing your sense of self.

10. Keep in mind though that the heart has its own cadence and voice and that its rhythms and reasons may never be unraveled. And though possession is nine-tenths ownership, in the realm of the senses and of the soul, the heart is free to leave when it desires.

11. This goes for you, too. For though you may have found someone, and even if that person be your soul mate, it is by no means a guarantee that you will cease to want.

12. Thus, in matters of the heart, teach yourself four things: to give of yourself, to rely on yourself, to temper expectations, and to simply accept.

13. What I have learned is timeless yet time-bound, acceding to your unique situation and circumstance. Like good wine, you can never have enough, it cannot possible quench all that you thirst for, and it can only be appreciated if you agree to taste.

14. This affidavit is executed to attest to the foregoing facts and for whatever purposes this may serve. On this day, and for the years to come, I wish you a hand to hold.

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this 14th day of February _______ in Manila, Philippines.


Written by: Yvette Candice Gotianuy for her column "A Fine Mess",
Cebu Daily News, 16 February 1999.

source: babblingpoint


it's in the mint

a cup of Peppermint tea, a successful job interview over lunch, ears plugged to good music, and time to close my eyes and feel real good. By the time I opened my eyes a beautiful woman was looking at me from afar. When the elevator doors opened, we both entered, I first, she second. Am at her back and I saw her reflection from the elevator doors. Mygolly, she's one hot, beautiful woman, kinda looks like a taller brunette jodie foster. Chewing gum and looking suplada. Can I have your gum so I can taste you? I stood closer to her back,  and wanted more, but dang! My stop's next. I just slightly brushed myself to her back as I left just to feel her. I was so turned on I had to pee and wash my face. Because all my blood rushed to my face like teens on pandemonium at the sight of bieber. The waiter must have put some aphrodisiac in my tea. Maybe it's the mint! I was palpitating and not because of caffeine. It is on moments like this when I am definite I am tomgirl.Can I have another mint? :D

Back in the ofc and with that mood, I get this email from a girl friend -

"Btw, I'm having a little dilemma. This girl is sending me mixed signals and just baffles me. Maybe I really suck with women. NO PUN INTENDED AT ALL. I meant it in the literal sense."

My reply:
"so the literal meaning is you suck women. there's no maybe in that. hehe. so what is the dilemma, to suck her or not?"

Friend's reply :
"suck as in not good. not suck as in,  creating a vacuum with your mouth over the surface of the skin. (see how dorky i am?)"

My reply:
"adorkable :)"

Wahaha! Yep, I say it's all because of the mint!


inlababo pa rin

posted this years ago - "kapag sinabi ko sa 'yo". ang sabi ko lang, "dahil inlababo ako". ehem, inlababo pa rin po hanggang ngayon. =) kung paanong nagsimula ako ng marubdob, ganun pa ring lalim ang nadarama ko. pag sinisid ko hindi ko na alam kung sa'n aabutin. noong una, nakakalunod. aaminin kong nakakatakot. pano kung sa lalim ng paglangoy ko hindi ko na maalala ang daan paahon? puno ako ng alinlangan. ngayon ko lang naisip kung bakit. kasi nag-iisip ako ng mag-isa. pag umibig ka na at inibig ka ng totoo, hindi ka na nag-iisa. gano man ito kalalim o kadilim, may hahawak sa kamay mo na hindi bibitiw kahit luwagan mo pa ang hawak.

Ang kantang ito ang naglalaman ng puso ko na binigay ko sa yo. Pusong puno ng pag-ibig at pag-asa, pati ng kakulangan at kasobrahan. Pusong may pangako at pangarap. Pusong akin at iyo.

**sabay sabay tayo -- cheeeeesy!!!!  Hehehe.**


holy fun

A priest and a Nun get into a cab. When the Nun sits down and crosses her legs, she reveals a leg through a slit in the gown. The priest gets excited and can't control himself. He stealthily slides his hand up her leg. The nun says, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest feels embarrassed and immediately removes his hand and tries to recollect Psalm 129.

After sometime, he again can't help himself and lets his hand slide up her leg. The nun once again says, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologises, "Sorry sister, the flesh is weak and gives in to temptations."

He drops her off at the convent. On his arrival at the church, the priest immediately rushes to look up Psalm 129. It said - "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."


fortune cookie

my chinese new year fortune cookie. to which gf replied, "pwede ba tears of joy?" hehe. now that should be worth it! i love you baby! =)


V Day

If Christmas is about giving, V Day is about spreading.

- spread your time  (read: take her to many dates),
- spread your patience to avoid petty quarrels (be more understanding than usual, like nevermind if she's often late),
-spread the wealth (meaning share, buy her lotsa gifts),

and of course

spread the love,
spread her skin with touches,
spread your arms to hug her,  and
spread your legs for uhm, you know what I mean.
*wink wink*

The letter V made me think of spread. similar with Angels & Demons by Dan Brown.



As I was watching Talentadong Pinoy, a talent search TV show in channel 5, I learned that we are indeed a troubled nation. So many people with problems, all painful and sad. One got jailed and his wife left him, another lived in jail with his dad when he was very young, where all four siblings later on sent for adoption, someone's dad got killed and mom now has breast cancer and another simply lost his job and has nothing for food. What's remarkable with these talented hopefuls is just that -- they are HOPEful. They didn’t let their problems carry their life and get overwhelmed by trials. They instead chose to carry their crosses and steered the course of their lives. Some tried singing, acting, dancing, art, albeit lack of training or even potential. What's critical is they are trying thru honest and creative means. They may be ridiculed in the process, pitied upon, applauded, still they face the people, the camera with their stories armed with their so-called talents.

Am not sure if this is a reality show in the guise of talent search or the other way around. TV shows these days are all mixed with realism. You get the production numbers, the drama, the inspiration, the humor, the whole shebang of entertainment. I guess since drama series/telenovelas have been bled dry already, tv networks have repackaged drama and infused portions of them to many shows. Am not a fan of drama, but am a sucker for human stories, from struggle to triumph. From one human to another, I feel them.

As I continue to watch and control my tears, I realized that I've always had difficulty expressing/sharing my problems to other people (other than this blog). But then again, if you have nothing left but hope, you are bound to bare it all from flesh to soul. Stripped down to such rawness, we become honest people. I am hungry. I don’t have money. Help me. I'm horny. I want to rest. Love me. No barriers. The simple kind of complex. The reality tv show of life. What's showing with yours?

Will try to catch this later. - THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT


Winner of the Best Feature Film Award at the Berlin International Film Festival. Joni and Laser (Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson) were conceived through artificial insemination by their lesbian parents Jules and Nic (Julianne Moore and Annette Bening). The two seek out their sperm donor father and try to bring him into their family. The film revels in the awkwardness of the situation, playing out its scenes with often painful clarity, highlighting the complicated histories of the characters.



Am sick of being sick. Probably because I don't get sick often. the cold weather is making me flaky, breathless and stiff. I never liked cold weather, not on a weekday and not when you commute for hours. Not when I can't hug gf in public and not when am too weak to flirt. argh. sniff. sniff.