2.15.2004

the relationship



i am reposting this,
for some post-Vday sentiments.
this is the very first poem i wrote for my very first girlfriend.

for those in doubt or confused about this kind of setup.
'come and let me deconfuse you...


---------------------------------------------------------

the relationship

it was never
a question of morals between
right or wrong

it was more of
an issue of feeling
what's true and what's not

it was never the case
of intelligence or wealth

it was more of
a test for
chemistry and availability

ours is not a question
nor a case

in the end,
it's not even an issue to be resolved
or a test to be passed.

it just is.
it's just us.
you, me.
us.

http://www.peyups.com/article.khtml?sid=2615

2.14.2004

for the womyn i like



this is for the womyn i like.

i have always considered myself an outspoken womyn.
speaks my mind if i feel like saying so,
ready to stand for what i believe in,
much more for what i strongly feel for.
i am assertive, aggressive even.
there has been several instances where i was the one who pursued another.
i am impatient.
i'd most often played it fast.
i have little time for pleasantries and the prolonging of the getting to know thing.

but for all the brazenness that i have,
you leave me uncertain.

for all the witty lines i can think of to say,
you leave me speechless.

for all the urge i feel to touch just an inch of your skin,
you leave me frozen.

for all the experiences i gained,
you leave me unprepared.

all you have to do is be there for me to see.
it doesn't matter if you're frowning or smiling,
standing or sitting,
silent or animated.

all you have to do is to text.
just a hi or a smiley emoticon,
just a missed call,
what more if i'm able to talk to you.

all that needs be is for you to enter my thoughts,
and i can't help but smile and feel tingly all over.
it's like high school crush all over again.

to think that i didn't even like you at first.
but then you have your way.
you kinda grow on me.
in between the kwentos, the drinks, the waiting, the asaran and the gimiks,
something happened.

magic siguro. :)

what happened to me because of you is still shrouded with mystery.
i don't even know if you're aware that i like you this much.

what made you so different?
why have i become different?

aah, that entitles a separate blog entry i guess.

the height of this non-expression due to automatic paralysis everytime you're near is this very entry in my blog.

and since everytime the topic is about you, the womyn i like,
you leave me unable, thus I can't finish this piece.

grrr.... angtorpe ko! kainis!

2.13.2004

friday the 13th



IT'S A FUCKING LOUSY DAY!

2.09.2004

kiss to kiss basis



what's with a kiss?

what makes each kiss unique? lasting? great?
and worth repeating over and over?

a kiss is not a kiss without the touching.
a kiss is not a kiss without the licking.
a kiss is not a kiss without the teasing.
a kiss is not a kiss without the tasting.
a kiss is not a kiss without the sucking.
a kiss is not a kiss without the smelling.
a kiss is not a kiss without the moaning.
a kiss is not a kiss without the feeling.
a kiss is not a kiss without the nipping.
a kiss is not a kiss without the plunging.

a kiss is not a kiss without the tongue.
a kiss is not a kiss without the juices.
a kiss is not a kiss without the sensation.

there's no better kiss than that with another woman.

they're lips are softer, smoother, fuller.
the juices are sweeter, richer.
the touch just glides.
they're more giving, more open,
more inviting.

you can't help but plunge deeper,
linger longer.

you just have to drink into the spring of nectar,
and devour the lips before you.

then be totally enslaved to the age-old ritual of kissing and being kissed.

2.08.2004

take me or leave me



*song from RENT musical

Maureen:
Every single day,I walk down the street.
I hear people say "Baby,so sweet!"
Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me.
Boys,girls I can't help it baby!
So be kind and don't lose your mind.
Just remember that I'm your baby.
Take me for what I am!
Who I was meant to be.
And if you give a damn,
take me, baby, or leave me!
Yes, take me baby, or leave me.
Yes,take me baby, or leave me.
A tiger in a cage can never see the sun.
This diva needs her stage, baby let's have fun!
You are the one I choose
folks would kill to fill your shoes
you will learn to love the lime light to, now baby.
So be mine or don't waste my time crying
"oh HoneyBear, are you still my, my baby".
Take me for what I am,
who I was meant to be.
And if you give a damn
take me baby or leave me.
No way cannot be what i'm not.
But hey,don't you want your girl hot?!!
Don't fight don't lose your head.
Cause every night whose in your bed?
Who? WHO? Kiss Pookie

Joanne:
It won't work Maureen I love margins and discipline
I make list in my sleep baby what's my sin?
Never quit I follow through
I hate mess but I love you
What to do with my impromptu baby?
So be wise, cause this girl satisfies
You've got a prize, but don't compromise
Your one lucky baby!
Take me for who I am

Maureen: A control freak

Joanne: Who I was meant to be

Maureen: A snob yet over attentive

Joanne: And if you give a damn

Maureen: A loveable, droll GEEK!

Joanne: Take me baby, or leave me

Maureen: An anal retentive!

Both:
Thats it, the straw that breaks my back!
I quit!

Joanne: Unless you take it back

Both:
Women, what is it about them?
Can't live with them or without them!
Take me for what I am.
Who I was meant to be.
And if you give a damn,
take me baby, take me baby, or leave me!

Maureen: Guess I'm leaving!

Joanne: I'm gone!

2.05.2004

giyera patani!



waaaaar!
nagkakagulo dito sa ofc ko.
potek!
galit mga tao sa ken.
mga guys.
engkasi, nagkaproblem sa project.
so kahit gabing-gabi na,
i had to call em all to go back to da ofc.
so kesehodang may date w/ his gf ung isa,
asa gimik ung isa at
magbabate na ung isa,
pucha!
pinapunta ko sila sa ofc!
sori!
napag-utusan lang.
tinry ko namang saluhin lahat e.
kaso nde ko nakaya.
so reinforcement na ito.
ayun, awa ng dyos,
puro nakasimangot lahat at maiinit ang ulo!
e sori! nde ako affected!
trabaho lang.
naknampucha!
ginagantihan yata ako!
at nagsipagyosi ang mga hinayupak!
ako lang naman ang naiwan na gurl dito,
so puro guys na kasama ko.
kabi-kabila ang nagpapausok sa ken.
so much for my right to clean air!
hay.
a, leche! ang lagay kayo lang!
makapagyosi na nga ren.
alangan namang singhutin ko lang lahat ng usok nila.
ano ko?! exhaust fan?! aaaarrrrrghhh!

2.03.2004

prelude to v day



once you declare you're ready for love,
you should also be prepared to hurt, even bleed.
just as love can lift you to the ninth heavens,
so can it throw you down to the pits of misery.

how does one then protect the self from this eventuality?

you don’t! you can’t.

you just allow yourself to go through the experience, the cycle,
in order to rightfully say, “i have truly loved.”

if you think by controlling/withholding your feelings
so you won’t fall/hurt too deeply,
you won’t hurt that bad,

think again.

though it can be true.
but you have shortchanged yourself
of fully experiencing love in the most profound way.
that which enriches the self.

and i say that’s wasting opportunity.

love doesn’t happen to everybody.

if it comes, might as well accept it with open arms
and succumb to its will,
otherwise, you’ll lose it
or you’ll get lost.
either way,
you’ve missed something.

so might as well, have a taste of love.
if it’s not meant or reciprocated,
there’ll be a bitter aftertaste,
one that can make you reject future servings of love.

but if you relish on the sweet taste of it,
how it mixes with your saliva,
how it plays with your tongue,
how it goes in between your teeth
and how it smoothly slides your throat
down to your stomach,
you’ll feel a settling fullness,

ah! am sure you won’t get enough of this
so called love!

you’ll keep asking for more.

and i, intend to have my full share!