Let me blow

It's New Year's Eve and the only thing am blowing is my nose. Sniff. Sniff. Three days of feet crushing midnight shopping pre-Christmas and tadaah! Flu right after Christmas. I've alternately taken bioflu, alaxan fr and lagundi to remove this anti-holiday virus. And I've tricked my body into thinking am all okay as I do one chore after another and daily commute to my parent's house then back to my apartment at night. I even managed to make my gf very happy with flu sex! Somehow while doing it, I feel so unsick and ala-SuperGrrl even! So much that I kid gf after -- see! Sex, not water is the universal panacea! Still high from O, I feel such a genius. Haha. But now, the only thing moist in my body is my nose! Yuck. I must admit though that this watery gooey thing running from my nose has the same consistency and texture of what's down there. Hay. Am so sick, blowing my nose leaves me breathless already. What I hate about being sick is that it  makes me sad. This virus also messes with my psyche. I feel so weak that I wana cry. :( you see I haven't been sick the whole year until now. And I pride myself for not taking one single sick leave from work this year ! Beat that! But now supposedly on vacay, all I did was blow my nose, pant, feel sick, and be needy. Tragic situation to be on new year's eve. 

Don't let my whining dampen your new year spirit. 2013 is the best year of my life actually, well, up to Dec 25 only. Hehe. I moved out from my parents house this year, 3-mos away from completing my townhouse downpayment, got freelance training gig, somewhat got promoted sans the wage increase yet, travelled overseas around 8x this year as part of my work, loved by my bosses, achieved this significant status at work where peers (who've been in the company for years) hate me, enough to dub me "heartless" (yes, you've been warned!) and of course the gf who still bears with my craziness, inconsistencies, walang katapusang pagtatampo on the minutest stuff after eight years. Yeah that long. Insane yeah? But I am not here to count. I'm here to live and juice the best times of my only life. And by best I mean those times that changed me to be this seriously awesome, fierce, happy person that I am now. Ok fine, those times that changed me to be this seriously awesome, fierce, happy, mayabang person that I am now. Hehe. 

There's this one guy I admire in a purely platonic way who said, " happiness is not about intensity. It's about balance." Am no van damme, who can balance in a perfect split, 

but I am happy. And with that, I send your way happy thoughts and a life of balance. 

Happy New Year! Happy Year of the Wooden Horse! Happy Best Year of Your Life! Happy Year of Beginnings and Moving Forward! Happy Meal! Happy Fiesta! Happy and Gay! =)


uncomfortable comfort zone

For months I have been resenting my 8yr relationship with my partner. Fun is gone. Every inch of her skin seems familiar. We don’t fight. We have successful careers. We travel apart because of work. We are tolerant of each other. We are so settled that I hate it. Comfort zone is far from comfortable. You know that feeling when you've sat so long in one position in the same chair or have slept so long on your bed that it's like peeling your back off from the bedsheet  with a  zombie stance? That's uncomfortable comfort zone. And again I hate it.

She came back two weeks ago from some south american country after a month-long work, and I was off to another asian country for a few days of work. I went to the mall, checked some stuff I need for the trip, went home not until my legs were so sore, I almost crawled going to the jeepney. Alone in my place I prepped my luggage and once in a while laughed by myself at the tv show I was procrastinating with. Slept 1am. All settled. And then with just a few hours of sleep she rang. And it irritated me. Until she said she's on her way to my place to take me to the airport. Cute. I took a bath. When I went out from the bathroom, there she was cooking fried egg she took from my fridge. She bought hot pandesal, made me hot milo drink and also brought in hot porridge. Breakfast. It’s been a while. I don’t really have time to prepare breakfast thus I rarely eat brekky. So breakfast. Sweet. One thing she has consistently done for 8yrs is spoon feed me. She knows how busy I always am. So in between talks, chores, stuff, she would offer me spoonful of food reminding me I need to eat. And I go quickmelt in an instant.

At the airport, we hugged. And it feels warm and fuzzy in the stomach. We kissed. And shared I love yous. As I walk my way inside the airport, I glanced through the glass wall. There she was waiting. Not leaving till am done with immigration. Once I made it through, I called her. See you soon love.

Fun may be gone. But love never left. I  was reminded that no matter how restless I may at times feel, she's a wife I want to go home to. 

side note:
she was supposed to surprise me by going with me on my biz trip. alas, my flight sked was changed and already conflicts with her work. so twas then that she revealed of her failed surprise to me. aww.

img from here