12.31.2009

Share tayo :)




Six and a half years na kong nagbablog. Akalain mo yon?! Binandera ko ang buhay ko, mula kalamnan hanggang kaluluwa.

Sabi nila, wag daw todo todo magbigay kasi baka walang matira sa yo. Sa dami ng binahagi ko, hindi minsan ko naramdamang nabawasan ako. Kung may nawala man, yun ay ang mga sintemyento ko sa mga kung anik-anik na olats na parte ng pakikipagsapalaran ko. Kasi gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko every time sumusulat ako. Sa panahon ng "No therapeutic claims", ito na ang pinakamura at mabisang therapy! Sankapa di ba? :)

Ang totoo, mas nadagdagan ako mula nang nagsulat ako. Sa pagdami ng entries ko, dumami kaibigan ko. Nagka-fans pa ko! Naks! Wehehe. Obviously, nadagdagan din yabang ko. Haha!

Nung binalikan ko past entries ko, nagugulat ako. Sinabi ko talaga yon?! Ako talaga gumawa ng tulang yan? Akalain mo, naisip ko yun! Ang galing kasi! *ayan, ang yabang na naman! Haha!*

Kung magkaroon man ng pagkakataon na maisip ko na dumaan lang ang panahon ng ganun na lang na para bang nasayang, balikan ko lang ang past blog entries ko at madali akong maliliwanagan. Mas maliwanag at maputi pa sa naputikang t-shirt na binabad sa Tide Oxy-bleach. Ito ang patotoo - naging makabuluhan ang nakaraan.

Kung gusto nyo ko makilala, madali lang. basta marunong ka magbasa at may access sa internet. Malalaman mo lahat ng kabaliwan at kakornihan ko. Kung pano ako ka-OA magmahal at magreklamo. Kung gano ako katsismosa at kadaldal. Kung sinu-sino ang pinagnasahan ko at mga jinowa ko, pati kung kelan kami nagbreak at iba pang escapades!. Ultimo grammar errors at bloopers ko mabibisto mo! Haha. Madalas kasi type lang ako ng type at tamad na mag-edit.

Nitong papalapit ang Pasko, medyo detached ako. One week na lang, hindi ko pa rin feel ang espiritu ng Pasko. Magtrabaho ka ba naman hanggang Dec. 23 e. Pero nung nagshashopping na ko ng mga regalo sa pamilya ko, unti-unti sumigla ang pakiramdam ko. Plano ko nung una pa lang, magtitipid talaga ako, kaso pag namimili ka na at ito'y nakalaan sa mahal mo sa buhay, lalambot din susi ng pitaka mo e. Dahil ang totoo, mahal para sa mahal. :) Kung si jowa ko nabibilhan ng mga bonggang regalo, pamilya ko pa titipirin ko? Kesehodang pasaway si kapatid o kaya mahirap ispelengin si mother at sobrang higpit ni tatay, aminin na natin, mahal natin sila! :-p Ito pala ang meaning ng Pasko… mahal sa mahal! Haha! :)
Sorry, pero hindi lang para sa mga bata ang Pasko (ahahaha) kundi para sa lahat! Wag kayo madamot!

Super gasgas man sabihin, pero sa pagbibigay ko natagpuan ang sigla ng Pasko.

Salamat sa inyong lahat na nagbasa, nakiramay, nakipagflirt, nagcomment, naglurk , nang-okray, kinilig at nakitsismis. Mas malawak ang mundo sa world wide web. Excited na uli ako magkwento at magbigay ng sarili ko sa inyo. Share tayo! :)

12.20.2009

"Ang Ladlad" issue splits Comelec - ouch!

sad, hurtful news for LGBTQ in the Philippines :(
"Ang Ladlad" is an LGBTQ political party which got rejected by the Commission on Elections for two consecutive elections now. The reasons they rejected the party will make you cringe.

--------------------------------
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 04:51:00 12/18/2009

Filed Under: Eleksyon 2010, Inquirer Politics, Elections, Gender Issues, Religion & Belief

MANILA, Philippines — A petition for party-list accreditation from a gay rights group has become a divisive issue among the election commissioners, forcing Commission on Elections (Comelec) Chair Jose Melo to intervene and cast the final dissenting vote against Ang Ladlad.

The Comelec, meeting en banc on Wednesday to hear Ang Ladlad’s motion for reconsideration, voted to uphold a Second Division ruling last November rejecting Ang Ladlad’s petition to be recognized as a party-list group.

The decision, released Thursday, effectively bars Ang Ladlad, which advocates for gay rights, from joining the 2010 elections as a party-list group.

The commissioners voted along division lines, with the Second Division members reiterating their earlier decision to reject Ang Ladlad and the First Division members voting to overturn that decision.

Tie break
With the en banc evenly split at 3-3, Melo cast the tie-break vote on the side of the Second Division.

Melo defended the Second Division’s ruling that Ang Ladlad advocated immorality and violated the “moral parameters” set by the Bible and the Koran, the Christian and Muslim holy books, respectively.

“They are possibly religion-based, but as a society, the Philippines cannot ignore its more than 500 years of Muslim and Christian upbringing, such that some moral precepts espoused by said religions have seeped into society and these are now publicly accepted moral norms,” the Comelec chair said in his separate opinion.

“Until the time comes when Ladlad is able to justify that having mixed sexual orientations and transgender identities is beneficial to the nation, its application for accreditation under the party-list system will remain just that,” he added.

Original decision
In their original decision, the Second Division, composed of commissioners Nicodemo Ferrer, Lucenito Tagle and Elias Yusoph, quoted passages from the Bible and Koran and said that the lifestyle of the 22,000-strong Ang Ladlad violated morals and faith. It also said the group posed a danger to young Filipinos.

The First Division, made up of Commissioners Rene Sarmiento, Armando Velasco and Gregorio Larrazabal, disagreed and voted to overturn the decision.

The First Division members said there was no legal basis for rejecting the Ang Ladlad petition in the first place, with Sarmiento noting that the group’s petition “contains nothing that is morally reprehensible.”

What immorality?
Larrazabal denounced the Second Division decision, noting that the “resolution’s reliance on biblical and koranic provisions to sustain its finding of immorality blurs the separation between Church and State.”

He said Ang Ladlad’s petition made it clear that the group does not promote immorality.

“On the contrary, it merely attempts to make this commission appreciate the size of the country’s LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] community, its current plight, and the means by which petitioner-movant intends to help correct this situation,” he wrote in his opinion.

The 2009 petition was the second attempt by Ang Ladlad to join the party-list race. The Comelec rejected their first try in 2007 because of their lack of national presence. Kristine L. Alave

12.19.2009

SEE U ALL TONIGHT @ Generator Bar!! PARTY 4 A CAUSE

hey ladies, time to par-teh! I'll be going tonight.
If you wana meet up, just email me.
I'm excited to meet new peeps in this exclusive party.





FOR COMPLETE PARTY DETAILS TEXT or CALL :

0916.3860069 / 0918.5021910 / 0922.2886061

12.13.2009

Houston (biggest US city) elected openly lez mayor - HOORAY!



by MONICA RHOR, Associated Press Writer Monica Rhor, Associated Press Writer – 51 mins ago


HOUSTON – Houston became the largest U.S. city to elect an openly gay mayor, with voters handing a solid victory to City Controller Annise Parker after a hotly contested runoff.

Parker defeated former city attorney Gene Locke with 53.6 percent of the vote Saturday in a race that had a turnout of only 16.5 percent.

"This election has changed the world for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community. Just as it is about transforming the lives of all Houstonians for the better, and that's what my administration will be about," Parker told supporters after Locke conceded defeat.

Parker, 53, has never made a secret or an issue of her sexual orientation. But it became the focus of the race after anti-gay activists and conservative religious groups endorsed Locke and sent out mailers condemning Parker's "homosexual behavior."

Locke, 61, tried to distance himself from the anti-gay attacks while courting conservative voters who could tip the election in his favor. Meanwhile, gay and lesbian political organizations nationwide rallied to support Parker by raising money for her campaign and making calls urging people to vote.

Several other U.S. cities, including Portland, Ore., Providence, R.I., and Cambridge, Mass., have openly gay mayors, but none as large as Houston.

A little more than 152,000 residents turned out to cast ballots in the nation's fourth largest city, which has a population of 2.2 million. Of those voters, 81,743 chose Parker — some 11,000 votes more than Locke received.

Although Locke condemned the anti-gay rhetoric, two of his key supporters contributed money to a conservative political action committee that sent out an anti-gay mailer earlier this month, urging voters not to pick Parker because she was endorsed by the "gay and lesbian political caucus."

Campaign finance reports show Ned Holmes, finance chairman of Locke's campaign, and James Dannenbaum, a member of the campaign's finance committee, each gave $20,000.

Late Saturday, Locke offered his congratulations to Parker and urged the city to move on from the bruising campaign fight.

"Here's what our city needs now: It needs unity. It needs us to come together and heal like we've never healed before, and to move forward under a new administration," he said.

Parker and Locke, both Democrats in the nonpartisan race, advanced to the runoff after garnering more votes than two other candidates on Nov. 3. Parker will succeed Bill White, who is term-limited after serving six years and is seeking the Democratic nomination for governor.

Houston is predominantly Democratic and about 25 percent black and one-third Hispanic. About 60,000 of its residents identify themselves as gay or lesbian.

12.12.2009

let me




I will touch you and glide my fingertips to your velvety folds of skin
Raise my moistened fingers and bring them near my mouth
Smell your essence with subtle longing
I'll open my lips just a little bit to extend my tongue
So that through my fingertips flavored with your yearning
We can be introduced,
Like shaking hands for the first time.
I want to know you more and slowly taste all your desires.
I'll do this until just a thin film of your moisture is left on my skin.
Then swallow your fluid so that you become part of me and fuel my fervor
I'll take your tentative hands, bring them to me,
So you'll know me intimately.
I'll guide you to my inner longings
Make you understand the depth of my feelings
I'll flow with no rush, as if to say we have all the time
Let you pass by, even go back and forth if you like
Then when you're done,
I'll lift your hands so that I can kiss it
And be affirmed of how I feel for you.
Make me your lollipop candy,
Experience my sweet intentions and my firm convictions
I'll cup your face, kiss you deeply
Tongue you forcibly and delete your doubts
With each probe, I want you to trust me,
Let me go further
Until you submit.
Because I have long surrendered
To this force we are enslaved of

12.08.2009

chaaat up!



it's been around four years since I last chatted via YM. i stopped since i transferred to a job that prohibits it. before, i can't imagine life sans YM, but then after years of not doing it, i unlearned the habit.

recently, i noticed that many people in the office are using YM. one idle moment, i tried to install one and use it. but i lost interest easily. weeks went by and i don't even think about it.

but i got idle again. so there.

----------
Chat 1 - to a friend who's from the South and working now in Manila now.

Firewomyn: How long have you been staying in Manila now?
Southwomyn: It's been two years

Firewomyn: And how is it so far?
Southwomyn: It was hard toadjust at first, but now I'm okay. I learned a lot.

Firewomyn: Can you give me the top three things you learned?
Southwomyn: What is this, a beauty contest?

Firewomyn: Nope, it's a quiz contest
Southwomyn: Hahahaha

Firewomyn: So?
Southwomyn: Your question is tough

Firewomyn: I thought you said you learned a lot?
Southwomyn: …. *still thinking*

Firewomyn: *hay, bummer*

----------
Chat 2 - to someone I thought I know

Firewomyn: Hi! 'Long time.
Overseaswomyn: Hello

Firewomyn: How have you been?
Overseaswomyn: I'm okay.

Firewomyn: Where are you now?
Overseaswomyn: In Jakarta.

Firewomyn: *starts to think* what are you doing there?
Southwomyn: pre-school teacher

Firewomyn: aah, are you X? (name of my friend)
Overseaswomyn: err, no.

Firewomyn: *oh gosh. bummer again*

-------

well, at least it brought me a topic to share :D

12.07.2009

Forum for Us

UP Law, UP Center for Women's Studies, Libertas, and Rainbow Rights Project

invite you to a forum on

the State of the Party List System in the light of the decisions on Ang Ladlad and other petitions

Dec. 8, Tuesday 9am
at Malcolm Theater,
UP Law, Diliman, QC.

I know it's short notice, but I hope you can come.

12.06.2009

525,600 minutes

"There's only now. There's only here.
Give in to love, or live in fear.
No other path, no other way.
NO DAY BUT TODAY.”



Embrace a new Valentine Experience!
Watch RENT Musical on FEBRUARY 14, 2010 (Sunday, 8PM)


For tickets to the Valentines Night schedule:
Contact Onay (0918.536.2116)
Email rentfeb14@yahoo.com
Visit www.rentfeb14.blogspot.com

Available seats as of December 4, 2009:
Orchestra Center (Php1700): 83 out of 177
Orchestra Side (Php1600): 119 out of 121
Loge Center (Php1400): 53 out of 88
Loge Side (Php1100): 16 out of 20
Balcony (Php 800): 21 out of 66

RESERVE NOW TO GET GOOD SEATS!
Please click on the link below to view the updated seat plan:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AtpmvO-z1jG3dHRBX1M5MTkzY1UxNEhUZnRaUUxNY0E&hl=en

For other schedules, visit www.9workstheatrical.com

12.05.2009

Pride March today! Dare, Join!



Official TFP Statement For Press Release
Posted by Task Force Pride

LGBT Filipinos Dare, Care and March with Pride in 2009


Once again, the Filipino Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community along with their friends, families, allies and supporters, will come together in one massive and colorful parade at the 2009 Manila Pride March. On Saturday, December 5, 3pm at Remedios Circle, Malate, right in time for Human Rights week, LGBT Filipinos will come out in full-force not only to show their pride but also to stake their claim on their right to participate fully in civil, political, economic, cultural and social life in the Philippines and beyond.


The theme of this year’s Pride Parade is “We Dare. We Care” to signify the LGBT community’s proactive stance in addressing the human rights problems affecting their sector. “We shall no longer be complacent. We dare to remind the Philippine government and the rest of society that we have an obligation under international human rights law to promote and protect the rights and well-being of all people, including LGBT Filipinos, who are being threatened by the looming economic crisis, natural disasters, armed conflict, religious intolerance and lack of political will of some government officials,” according to Great Ancheta, Head Coordinator of Task Force Pride (TFP) Philippines 2009.


“The LGBT community will march to show their indignation and concern over the lack of human rights protections for LGBT Filipinos as shown in the recent decision of the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) not to accredit Ang Ladlad, a partylist group for LGBT Filipinos, the non-passage of the Anti-Discrimination Bill and the increasing incidence of violence and discrimination committed against them in large-scale because of their sexual orientation and gender identity,” adds Great.


“The 2009 Pride March is the Filipino LGBT community’s expression of solidarity with our brothers and sisters who have braved the streets of Taipei, Hong Kong, Tokyo, London and other parts of the world to fight discrimination, homophobia, lesbophobia, biphobia and transphobia at the national and international levels,” according to Naomi Fontanos also of TFP. Worldwide, pride marches have served as a platform of solidarity, consciousness- raising and empowerment for the LGBT community.


Prominent human rights actors in the Southeast Asian Region have expressed their support for TFP. In its statement, Forum-Asia, an international human rights organization, stated that “the Pride March is an excellent platform for the LGBT groups and individuals to forge further solidarity and network to express themselves on the various ongoing issues that affect the community not only in the Philippines but the rest of the world.”


Dr. Sriprapha Petcharamesree, the Thai representative to the ASEAN Inter-governmental Commission on Human Rights, said in her solidarity message, “the rights of everyone [have] to be guaranteed and the space has to be equally created without which the building of ASEAN Community could not be fully realized.”


The Commission on Human Rights (CHR) of the Philippines also endorsed the 2009 Manila Pride March. According to CHR Chair, Atty. Leila De Lima in their message of solidarity, “We laud TFP Philippines for organizing this annual Pride March, and we recognize the courage of those who choose to participate in it. The Commission on Human Rights of the Philippines stands ready to offer whatever support it can, not only in relation to this event, but also in order to generally advance respect for, and the protection of, the human rights of the LGBT community.”


The Pride March will take place on 5 December 2009, Saturday and will pass by designated streets in historic Malate after the assembly at the Remedios Circle at 3 pm. It will begin with a grand parade, followed by a magnificent program, an extraordinary pageant and culminate in an unforgettable night of partying.


The 2009 Manila Pride March is organized by Task Force Pride (TFP) Philippines, a network of LGBT and LGBT-supportive groups and individuals who seek to promote positive visibility for the LGBT community including Bed Malate, Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Advocates for Youth (GABAY), Lesbian Advocates Philippines (LeAP), Metropolitan Community Church Quezon City (MCCQC), Outragemag.com, Single Guys Online (SGO) PH, and Society of Transsexual Women of the Philippines (STRAP). Founded in 1999, it is the official organizing network of the annual LGBT Pride Parade in Manila.


This year’s Pride March partners and sponsors are EZ Lubricating Jelly, Frenzy Condoms, Absolut, Andrew Christian, Archion Architects, BED, Beverly Hills 6750, Gabriela Women’s Party, Crobar, Gay and Lesbian Activist Network for Gender Equality (GALANG), Sen. Loren Legarda, Great Ancheta, Lookal, O Bar, Pride Exchange, Rainbow Bloggers Philippines, Rainbow Radio Pilipinas, MyFemme Magazine, Silya and The Library.


For more information, please contact any of the following members of the TFP 2009 Executive Committee: Great Ancheta (0920.926.4322), Naomi Fontanos (0920.269.7607).
Email: tfpexecom-owner@yahoogroups.com, Website: taskforcepride.blogspot.com.

11.30.2009

i

so what if i love you? nothing else matters. i don't care if you're unstable, an atheist, closet or attached. i love you and only you. there's no question or condition. not even if you don't reciprocate. i love you in the simplest and most selfish form. just affirming it and feeling it is happiness already. i feel powerful with this love. because no external force can destroy this love. it starts from me and if in any case, will end from me. i love you and no one can take that from me. i love you and i don't care.

11.29.2009

dreamer



I had a dream.
I was about to get married that day.
But due to an unknown reason, I wasn't able to go to my wedding.
Another girl played proxy at the church.

Next scene, afternoon after the wedding.
The person I married thru a proxy was sitting and sad.
I felt the sadness too.
The person I married is about to leave that night to work overseas.
Sob.
We hugged.
Tight.
I felt warmth from my inner being radiate slowly
Outward, up to my fingertips.
We hugged.
Tighter.
As if quelling the impending gloom.
The feeling was so intense.
Synonymous to deep feeling
I have long forgotten.
I stepped back an inch.
To look at the this person who's about to go
And leave me broken.
Gulp!
I married a man.
OMG!

End of the dream.

-----------------------
You might be thinking that it's not a dream, but a nightmare.
I don't know what to make of it. Even after waking out of the dream, I can still feel the sensations and all the emotions they stood for - love , commitment, sacrifice, separation. But he's a man for goodness' sake! In my dream, I did not care. Now fully awake, I'm concerned. Does this make me bi? I'm not really a fan of labels, but as Tim Gunn always say in Project Runway, "It worries me." I think part of the explanation is my "dream husband" was a character in a Filipino lgbt film I watched a few months ago, In My Life. It's the story of three people - the mom, mark (son of mom) and noel (mark's partner). Mom went to the US to live with Mark, but can't accept his being gay much more his partner Noel. That's it in a gist. Now back to my predicament. Could it be that I'm also attracted to males? Male gays? In pursuit of enlightenment, I discovered more reasons why I'm not really a fan of labels. See the list below:


Androgenosexual: Attraction to androgyny

Androsexual: Attraction to males without reference to that person's own gender

Bicurious: "Someone who think they might be bi but haven't explored them selves enough to be sure"

Gray-A asexuality: Generally asexual, but with occasional sexual attraction. Demisexual is a subgroup of this.

Gynosexual: Attraction to females without reference to that person's own gender

Heteroflexible: Mainly heterosexual, but can be attracted to those of the same gender sometimes

Homoflexible: Mainly homosexual, but can be attracted to those of the opposite gender sometimes

Pansexual: Attracted to people regardless of sex/gender, and so including intersexed people and such.

Polyamory: people who like to engage in more than one relationship at a time.

Polysexuality: refers to people who are attracted to more than one gender or sex but do not wish to identify as bisexual because it implies that there are only two binary genders or sexes.

Pomosexual: or undefined sexual orientation, is a neologism used to describe a person who shuns sexual orientation labels (such as heterosexual and homosexual), and in turn chooses not to label oneself with a sexual orientation

Queer: Any sexuality other than heterosexual

Quite confusing huh? Maybe I'm a combination of homoflexible and pomosexual. My question now is, how come someone who shuns labels has a label? Haha. Go figure.

--------
picture my "dream husband", the one in the middle.

11.09.2009

taste of discrimination




On my way home I had the unfortunate coincidence to see a high school classmate. I haven't seen this female classmate in years. I thought my luck would never end until that day I chanced upon her in the train.

Here's an excerpt of that unbelievable encounter:

Classmate: kamusta ka na?
Firewomyn: I'm okay
Classmate: may asawa ka na?
Firewomyn: wala
Classmate: e boyfriend
Firewomyn: uhmmm…
Classmate: foreigner ba?
Firewomyn: wala akong boyfriend. Girlfriend meron.
Classmate: ha?! Ano ka ba naman, ba't hindi pa sa normal
Firewomyn: normal naman kami. And if you must know (you idiotic piece of shit!) gay marriage is legal in seven countries. Would you dare call them not normal? (you ignorant moron!)
Classmate: wala bang nanliligaw sa 'yo?
Firewomyn: madami (I'm sure sa 'yo wala). Lack of choice is not the issue. We have a steady long relationship.
Classmate: okay lang yun. Pwede pa naman kayong maghiwalay
Firewomyn: (my inner self just slapped her to pieces right there and then). Sino may sabi sa 'yong gusto ko makipaghiwalay?

*translated version*
Classmate: how have you been?
Firewomyn: I'm okay
Classmate: are you married?
Firewomyn: nope
Classmate: you have a boyfriend?
Firewomyn: uhmmm…
Classmate: is he a foreigner?
Firewomyn: I don't have a boyfriend, but I have a girlfriend.
Classmate: What?! Why do you have to do that, can't you be with someone normal?
Firewomyn: we're actually normal dear. And if you must know (you idiotic piece of shit!) gay marriage is legal in seven countries. Would you dare call them not normal? (you ignorant moron!)
Classmate: don't you have suitors?
Firewomyn: I have several (I'm sure you don’t have any). Lack of choice is not the issue. We have a steady long relationship.
Classmate: but you can still break up.
Firewomyn: (my inner self just slapped her to pieces right there and then). Who told you I want to end it?


I've been living freely for a long time now even though I'm not out in my family. I've always been comfortable of myself and so are my friends and a lot of colleagues. Never have I imagined I'd meet a bigot face to face. My gawd! It's so freakin unbelievable! Good thing we're not friends. Gf was fuming when I told her of what happened. How dare her! My friends were laughing about it. That such a person exists in this day and age. Definitely not from UP (University of the Philippines - #1 school in the Philippines). This may pale in comparison to the discrimination US must be facing now, just like what happened in Maine.

truly you cannot make a closed mind understand, the same way you can't shame the shameless.
Before I forget, gotta to delete that classmate in my FB.

11.02.2009

Wanted: All!



I want to watch (500) days of summer, but gf can't yet because she has to baby sit with her older sister.

I'm not apologetic for the fact that I don't dig this. Why a kid and two college students need two adult baby sitters is beyond me. I've always been independent and my family's mostly independent except for money.

Another concern is why am I upset? If I want to watch a movie so bad, why can't I just watch it alone? I used to do things single-handed, but the couple status made it convenient to do things together. And had to consider the other on things, ideally because you'd want to share things with the other.

Which presupposes the other, the want to watch the movie or the want to share the watching of the movie?

I'm not really idealistic, so I'd say the personal want came first and because you know it will be personally good, then you'd want to share it with your gf. The couple thing blurs the line between the self and the couple.

Or maybe, it is not watching the movie that is what I really want but to be with gf which predisposes the desire to watch the movie.

Now I think I'm upset because I want it all - watch a movie I like with the person I like. Never mind which is the primary want, I just want it to happen as complete as I want it.

And don’t give me that crap that we can't have it all. Whoever said we can't have it all? I think we all deserve the best, the perfect things. And so what if we're imperfect? I still want the best, everything. We all deserve that. The one who said we can’t have it all probably didn’t get what s/he wants that's why s/he's limiting everybody else on what we can have or be. Well, not me.

11.01.2009

helloween!

I'm sneaking up some personal time (to blog) amid the flurry of family activities for the all souls day.

This is the second day where I slept more than seven hours. I usually sleep 6-7hrs only on weekdays because I have long commuting hours. Yesterday, I woke up very late in the hope to catch up on sleep. However, by the time I woke up, I have this pounding headache. All the things I would love to do with my free time, like finishing up on The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, going online, watching 500 Days of Summer, window shopping, I couldn’t do, not without strain. My head hurts more when I do a lot of physical movement or when I strain my eyes. So I just did something out of character and had a chit chat with the family. It was mild and not as painful as I imagined so long as we stick to the trivial stuff like showbiz, neighborhood gossip and what to cook for dinner.

Late afternoon, gf called to ask me out. We were supposed to catch a movie and try some gastronomic adventure but then we saw in a tv ad that our good friend Professional Heckler is a contestant on that night's Who Wants to be a Millionaire show. Wow! We won't miss that for the world even if Professional Heckler told us not to watch. Hehe.

We already know the outcome because he shared to us his experience of it weeks ago, but nothing beats seeing it live. :-) Unfortunately, his exposure was just 30min (with commercials), which means, we can still go out. Yey! We ditched the movie and just bought shoes and ate at Café Bola in Araneta Center. Gf had a surprise for me and handed me this enchanting gift.



I kissed her right there and then :-) We had it turned on while we eat our very healthy dinner of salad, pasta and fruit drinks.








It was a mellow date. Light, easy, sweet and right. The only thing to make it perfect was going home together. But we had to part ways as we go to each other's homes. We just texted each other to sleep. :-)

9.19.2009

sizzling!

9.12.2009

ugh!




I just realized i shouldn't be contented.
Because it can lead to complacency and stagnation.
When you've been so used to seeing, eating crap,
crap becomes acceptable, tolerable.
The years will just speed by.
And when we're too old to change things, we ponder,
how did we end up being exactly where we were years ago?
Fat, old, good for nothing.
The startling realization will make you puke,
because it was by eating the same crap
one day at a time.

9.10.2009

exsqueeze me



found a few of my old drafts -

After our major fight, when I learned to take after myself, I started going out with friends, and making new friends. This is good, I said to my self. I'm seeing other people other than her. I'm establishing relationships again. And I am actually having fun with friends, and my self. :) it's been a long while since I felt this… this feeling of community.

I get to hear other people's stories.

I used to be a people person. I forgot when I stopped being one. Last I checked, I'm a work person, who's good at delivering results and completing projects. The long and short of it, I'm a workaholic. I've been yakking abt how unhappy I am with my work and that it severed my social life. But the truth is, I thrive at work. And I often choose work over people. I got bored with people. They don't excite me. I don't blend with them. They are complicated. I don't dig them or I don't want to … get involved.

But then suddenly your world crushes. And the only 'people' in your world don’t want to see you anymore and don’t want to be with you.

And then you look for people. Because dammit, misery loves company.

And I don’t have people.

Because I'm not a people person anymore :( I've turned workaholic.

But my misery doesn’t want work as company (pun not intended).

It wants people as company.

Misery wants or needs the complex stuff.

And being broken, shattered and devastated me, I looked for people.

I need company. Not the work company which I thought was all I'll need, but the company that bores me, that doesn’t excite me, company that's complicated.

I think non-workaholic (normal) people call it friends.

9.05.2009

talking tongues

if it won't rain tonight, i'll go to this par-teh! :)

8.30.2009

Today is a good day to die



today is a good day to die.
have slept well,
kissed my partner sweet dreams
and said I love you to my family.

today is a good day to die.
have completed my work tasks.
submitted my reports
and said good night to my team.

today is a good day to die.
have buried the hatchet
kept memories for posterity
and said goodbye to my past.

today is a good day to die.
have made amends
dismissed my worries
and left everything to God.

today is saturday, my last.
i have enjoyed the wild ride
cried, laughed, cursed, loved.
thank you all for giving me a blast.

8.23.2009

loving and counting



Stop talking about love.
Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody.
It means nothing.
It still doesn't mean anything.
What you feel only matters to you.
It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters.
It's the only thing that counts.



--------------------------------

got the above as an early morning text from my friend's gf. :)

"i love you" these days is an overused commodity that one should not be quick to believe in to, specially to its deeper, supposed to be lasting connotation of forever. it's not that the person who said it is insincere, it's just that many of us can be fickle minded. one minute i love you, the next, i love another, in the same breath as i did the prior. OR it can be that we don't bother with distinctions, the varying depths of love. it's the familiar throb of love that matters. because too many things happening (or with too many choices), we easily give in to first impressions and are enslaved with sensations. only to probably realize when we're older, wiser, and have professed love to god knows how many, that we have loved person #1 the most, the deepest. but s/he's now with another.

---------
trivia: the womyn embracing Zach in the poster is Jacinda Barrett, the same womyn (Rebecca) who kissed Bridget in the film "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason".

the g2g encounter (bridget and rebecca)


jacinda barrett (aka rebecca)

8.22.2009

brace yourself



[just click the image so you can read what's written on the bracelet]

an interesting find while malling with gf. gf bought a necklace with a sun design inscribed with "seize the day". will post it next time.

8.21.2009

Free Exclusive Par-teh! :)



Feeling Cheeky this Saturday?... if so, head down to the most awaited Party filled with Sexy House and Cheeky Tunes

August 22, 2009 (Sat.), 9pm @

CENTRO de REPUBLICA, Timog Avenue, Q.C. ( infront of City Lifestyle)

This Party is EXCLUSIVELY for WOMEN!!!!

Hosted by: FEMMELITE, GIRLS NYT OUT, SALT and PLANET OUT!



NO COVER CHARGE

...AND MORE FREEBIES!


With Guest bands: FATT and TETAS

Brought to you by: JOSE CUERVO TEQUILA, COORS LIGHT BEER, GILBEY'S PREMIUM and JAGERMEISTER.

For more info/sms: 09165925971, 09228761010, 09188984253 & 09175357045

8.15.2009

for all the lezzies and others

i was supposed to post a different melodramatic angsty entry, BUT be thankful that i won't do that anymore. instead, i'll open your eyes to the wonderful world of the funniest lesbian i've known *thunderous drumroll please* -

meet Lizzy the Lezzy!




for those womyn falling in love with her already, sorry to disappoint you ladies, but Lizzy the Lezzy is a stand-up comedienne video animation only. how we wish she's real right? who can speak the tongue of the lesbians in a tune that's unapologetic (read: proud) and entertaining.

if only lgbt rallies are as light and fun like those narrated/sang by Lizzy. there's always this popular notion that lesbians are angstsy (don't bother checking the word, i made it up) and such drama queens. maybe it's because of all the prejudice and centuries of repression. thank lizzy i didn't pose my planned entry anymore. hehe. well, we're gay right? so let's all be happy and gay! :)

more videos at youtube and at lizzy the lezzy website.

8.12.2009

like it or not



It used to be that my longest relationship would only be in months. It's not that there is no sincerity nor there is no love, it just didn't last longer. We're lucky in a way to know early that we're not compatible, before we even messed up further. Maybe some would argue that we didn't try harder or we didn't give it chance to mature. My belief then was that mutual love should not be hard, but should be effortless. Love flows easily that you don't need to try, you just follow your heart and the rest will be roses minus the thorns.

Okay your turn now to shoot me for being that idealistic. The critics are right, I didn't try harder. First sign of flaw or incompatibility and I'm out the door. This is ironically funny because the very reason my past gfs and I became couples is because we like each other, at least for the initial part. Notice the polyseme (a linguistic term for a word's capacity to carry two or more distinct meanings). Like as in with favored feelings and like as in sameness. Naturally, anything different or unlikeable with my then gf is a trigger for me that we're not meant to be for the long haul. The trepidation of the unknown/other's secret is gone, replaced with knowing familiarity. Of course, this is after the first intimate night together. It's a milestone really which will determine if there'll be more nights or it ends there.

And because I'm impatient, I do things in a hurried fashion. I like you, you like me, let's go! At that moment, you caught my interest and I want to go on. As we go on, the Oops happen. Oops, she just spoke her first unforgivable grammar error. Oops, smart sure, but a little overweight. Did she just say split the bill? Oops, financially unstable! And so on, a string of short lived involvements.

8.10.2009

WANTed

chanced upon this website during one of my lunch breaks. what's unique with it is that it has has audio poems. and so i listen to well read poems as I enjoy my lunch. i found out that it's not just food for thought, but there are those food for the heart too... poetry. i'm inlove all over again. hay, mush. :)

here's one poem i lurv! read on and listen to it as well (click the link at the bottom).

What Do Women Want?
by Kim Addonizio




I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.



listen to the audio version here and be enthralled like me :p

tell me, what do you want?

8.08.2009

Spending the night?



Not many of us are lucky enough to be out, have our own places or can easily bring womyn at home. For the rest who needs a private place to go to, I recommend a few practical choices below.

Interesting enough that there are motels who don't allow gays in their establishments. Whatever the rationale behind it I'm definite it's rooted on prejudice. Motels in other countries are motorist hotels Philippine motels are famous as the destination for trysts. And we all know couples don't go there to pray. So what's the issue with gays entering motels? It's not like they're sacred or holy. At the end of the day, it's a business, so who are they fooling? *just had to let that out*


StoneHouse Apartelle
The place is decent, discrete, accessible (in Quezon City and Edsa), and cheap!
They offer rates as low as P600 for a 12hr stay! There's no reservation for the 12hr stay, so it is a first come first serve basis.

Complete list of rates and the facilities in this link:
http://stonehouse.bravehost.com/

You can check pictures of the rooms here:
http://www.stonehouse.ph


Tri-Place Hotel
The rooms are newer than StoneHouse, spacious, clean, and affordable.
What's interesting here is that they offer rooms with communal rest rooms which gives people more affordable option. An overnight stay for rooms with communal rest room is pegged at P1,100, while it's only P617 for a six hour stay. Standard rooms (Apollo) for a 12hr stay is at P1,050. I think you can do advance booking here. Know more info about Tri-Place here:

http://www.triplacehotel.com/


Eurotel Hotels
The room is small, but comfortable. The 12hr rates vary per location, but it usually is around P960. Cubao location offers six hour rate at something like P450-500, but be prepared to be exposed because of the long line! Yep, there's actual waiting area as you wait for couples to leave so you can get in.

More info on Eurotel

Firewomyn's Tips:
It really depends on your need.
1. If you have a tight budget and you want it discrdete, it's StoneHouse.

2. If you have enough money to shell out, and cool about communal rest rooms, then it's Tri-Place.

3. If you're horny and desperate, it's Eurotel.

At the end, you can always opt to carefully plan and save for an overnight date with your special womyn and go for well respected hotels. It's around 2k up.

8.02.2009

An Adoptation



My friend gave me free advance screening tickets to "Orphan" film (see synopsis at the bottom of the post). I am not really a fan of suspense-horror genre so I made a mental list of excuses not to see the film. One of the reasons is my gf can't watch with me because she has a badminton game with her officemates. However, when my sisters found out about the freebies, they dragged me to watch it. With recession and all, anything that's free will convince most. :)

So there I was seated, skeptic, eyebrows raised, preparing to be dismayed. First five minutes of the film rolling and I was ripping my sister's arm as I nearly suffer a stroke with suspense! OMG! This film made a convert of me and had me full, eating all the bad presumptions I have of "Orphan".

Each sudden stare of Esther (lead role of the film, no other than the orphan herself), her deliberate moves, every iron lie and all her criminal thoughts had me holding my breath, squeezing myself closer to my poor battered sister. I gave in to all my senses and just let it all out! I screamed like a banshee with everyone else in the theater. The entire crowd applauded when her adoptive mommy slapped Esther real hard that she almost did a pirouette! Mommy's finally figured out what's wrong (such a weak word,not befitting of an imp!) with Esther while we cheer for mommy. Hooray!

Guaranteed shrill and thrill up to the very last minute! We all enjoyed it, except probably for my sister who's sworn never to go with me in suspense-horror-thriller flicks. Haha. I was impressed by "Orphan". I won't divulge the full plot because I'd like you all to experience Esther for yourself. :)

After the topsy turvy of emotions, "Orphan" had me thinking. Lesbians often adopt because we can't have kids with our partners. Adopting is a serious decision to begin with, but the real challenge is living up to that decision because adopting is making another human being part of your lives.

I know of a couple who adopted a newborn, the other even filed for maternity leave when they took the baby home. Yep, something fair for the lesbian world. One can actually file for maternity leave benefit even if you did not conceive at all. All of us was surprised of her sudden maternity leave because sure she's been pregnant with loads of work ideas, but not with a baby! And second biggie is, we didn't know she's a lesbian! Haha. After those two revelations I felt closer to her due to affinity. :) And have been following her updates in facebook. They're happy. I hope they don't watch "Orphan". Yeah, after I've sweet talked all my friends to watch it. :s

Bottomline is adopting is as critical as deciding to be pregnant. As unpredictable as watching a well crafted suspense thriller film.

-----------
Orphan synopsis:

The tragic loss of their unborn child has devastated Kate and John, taking a toll on both their marriage and Kate's fragile psyche as she is plagued by nightmares and haunted by demons from her past. Struggling to regain some semblance of normalcy in their lives, the couple decides to adopt a child. At the local orphanage, both John and Kate find themselves strangely drawn to a young girl named Esther. Almost as soon as they welcome Esther into their home, however, an alarming series of events begins to unfold, leading Kate to believe that there's something wrong with Esther--this seemingly angelic little girl is not what she appears to be. Concerned for the safety of her family, Kate tries to get John and others to see past Esther's sweet facade. But her warnings go unheeded until it may be too late-for everyone.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1148204/synopsis

7.30.2009

Sexuality of blood

Chanced upon this article that literally made my blood boil! I never thought gay blood to be any different with the others. And what made them think that homos change partners more than heteros? The discrimination is too much, basing it on assumptions and pure prejudice. Aaarghh!

--------

Chinese lesbians petition for right to donate blood
Agence France-Presse - 7/28/2009 4:05 PM GMT



Chinese people gather to donate blood at a mobile blood bank in Beijing in 2008. Chinese lesbians are signing onto an online petition asking for the right to donate blood, which is denied them by a society worried about AIDS, state media said Tuesday.

Chinese lesbians are signing onto an online petition asking for the right to donate blood, which is denied them by a society worried about AIDS, state media said Tuesday.

At least 540 lesbians nationwide have added their signature to the petition, and organisers hope to reach the number of 1,000 before handing it over to the government, the China Daily reported.

"We just hope the authorities respect our kind intention to donate blood and remove the discrimination," said one of the organisers, who was not identified by her real name.

China has an estimated 30 million homosexuals, including 10 million lesbians, the paper said, citing the ministry of health.

Although the legal system no longer discriminates against them, they remain stigmatised in large parts of society, and homosexuality only disappeared from an official list of mental diseases early this decade.

The paper quoted Shi Weiwei, deputy director of the Beijing Red Cross Blood Centre, as saying homosexuals were barred from donating blood simply out of safety concerns.

"As we all know, the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases including the deadly HIV/AIDS is much higher among groups such as drug users and homosexuals, particularly gay men, who tend to have multiple sex partners," she said.

China is particularly worried about the risk of tainted blood after a large number of poor farmers contracted HIV in the 1990s from selling blood under highly unhygienic conditions.

7.21.2009

decaf



Checked my window.
No rain today.
Not a single drop
down my cheeks.

It look's foggy though,
as unclear as our state.

So tell me,
is forgetting you
as easy as taking decaf?

It's instant.
Taste's almost the same.
Less bitter,
But no jolt.

Maybe in time
I'll get used to decaf
And get by
Without you.

7.17.2009

Rainy thoughts



As I wait in FX line, rain started to pound, sounding like a drumbeat. I lifted my trembling umbrella to a sight of gray, non-stop slash of rain, looking like a thousand arrows shot from a neighboring kingdom. And I am transformed into a lowly peasant scavenging for bread from passersby hoping to have the strength to jump into a moving carriage that will take me from this wet misery to a summer refuge.

6.21.2009

fifth commandment

pic taken in a a market in Palawan.
Photobucket

"Fifth Commandment:
Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."

-- Exodus 20:12


happy father's day to all dads out there! :)

6.19.2009

freudian



My life's a mess.
Yeah, messier than my pubes.
Convoluted as my guts

I am complex
I live in intrigue, danger, poverty
Where life is mostly dirrty, raw and only for the present

I am a peasant
Who's only wealth are my dreams woven from cigarette puffs
My ideals remain intact, unwashed as the jeans I've worn for weeks

I am wasted
I see life thru my drunken glazed eyes
Fragmented thoughts of pieced together memories

Dare enter my maze?
Each encounter is a surprise, no expectations
Just pure exploration in the dark.

6.06.2009

Cross-Dressing Parteh! :)



After the rain, get out and dress up for fun and pride!

Flaunt it at Lunduyan ng Sining's

GET DRAGGED LEMONITES Cross-Dressing Pride Holiday!

Monday, June 8, 8:30pm, at MagNet Katips.


Featuring music of:

Lee Grane of Bush
Midnight Vaginas & more


Best costume wins a cash prize!

Entrance Fee: P150 + free drink

5.23.2009

I love you Phillip Morris

Nope, this is not about smoking or cigarettes.

This is about love, intricate human relations and personal battles to understand oneself.

This is the tale of a man who after getting married, had kids, found out he's an orphan, got into a life altering accident and discovered he's gay the moment he gained consciousness in the hospital.

This is a story of a gay man who felt the need to commit crimes to sustain his lavish gay life, was jailed and fell in love with his cellmate.

And this is a true story.



The film tells the true story of Steven Russell, a small-town businessman who breaks with his old life to come out as gay, but also turns to more and more risky conman schemes to feed his flamboyant new lifestyle.

Sent down as a white-collar criminal, Carrey's character meets the love of his life -- Phillip Morris, played by Ewan McGregor -- in a state penitentiary, but even true love does not stop him falling foul of the law again.

****
Ewan has always been an adventurous actor, playing complex non-stereotype characters. So I'm not at all surprised after portraying fundamentalist Camerlengo Patrick McKenna (Angels & Demons) that he's now a gay inmate named Phillip Morris (in I love you Phillip Morris).

I remember he also appeared in an indie film at Cine Europa where he showed his “thing”. But I never got to see it. Dang! The queue line was longer than his “thing”.

Anyhoo, below is an article about Jim Carrey (can you imagine him playing gay man?), and how badly he wanted this coveted role which was based on a true story.

****
--------------------------------------------
Agence France-Presse - 5/19/2009 5:41 PM GMT

Jim Carrey 'compelled' to play gay jail-break romance

US actor Jim Carrey, seen here in front of the Carlton palace, told a Cannes audience Monday he felt "compelled" to take on the role of a gay conman in the jail-break romance "I Love You Phillip Morris".

US actor Jim Carrey told a Cannes audience Monday he felt "compelled" to take on the role of a gay conman in the jail-break romance "I Love You Phillip Morris".

"I've read only a few scripts in my life I felt I had to absolutely do -- 'The Truman Show,' 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', and 'I Love You Phillip Morris,'" Carrey told the Directors' Fortnight, a talent-spotting sidebar to the main Riviera festival, ahead of a screening.

"I was compelled by his insane need for acceptance, his relentlessness when it came to wanting love," the 47-year-old actor said, adding with a grin: "I don't know why they cast me."

"I said to my agent -- I have to do this even if I have to offer to do it for free," Carrey said.

"I didn't actually make that offer," he added.

Carrey said he was especially drawn by the story-telling in the script, adapted from a series of articles on the real-life couple by co-writers and first-time directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa.

"It's a very complicated story and they told this tale of two men falling in love with grace, intelligence and humor, without condescending or pandering to antiquated sensibilities."

"They told a really risky little story and actually dared to make it romantic."

The film has already been a hit at Sundance, the US film festival run by Robert Redford that focusses on independent film-makers.

5.19.2009

agree?

there
is
no

,


is
the
answer.

5.09.2009

MOMbo-jumbo

i needed to get a hold of any person in our house so i can get my havaianas size (for a GC i won, need the size asap because they're ordering it already).

i changed the name of my sisters for secrecy :)
called house, mom answered.

-----------
me: ma, is apple there?
mom: nope, she went to the gym.
me: what about cherry?
mom: went with apple to the gym.
me: who else is in there? need to ask something urgent.
mom: peach and rowan.
me: ok, can i speak to peach please.
mom: she's sleeping

*in my mind: whaat?! you could have told me that at the start. geeez*

me: ohkaay. *me in slowmo* can i just speak to rowan then?
mom: surely. hold on.
-----------

hayayay! families. moms. sometimes i wonder, did i really come from that woman? who sometimes make my life so easy and oftentimes insane?
but knowing how crazy i can get, is an instant reminder that i come from the same nut. pun was intended. hehe.

so cheers to my crazy mom who gave birth to a crazier me! :)
happy mommy day to all! :)




word of mouth


MOMSHELL
- new term for the growing post-natal herd of "hot mamas".

5.05.2009

hiatus for now, sorry.