a tug

Am not happy, not sad. Am i disappointed? I say, I could have done better. I look back at 2010 and that's it? To be fair to myself, I think I hit a few marks I aimed for. But in close scrutiny, my 2010 feels lazy, like just afloat. So I was wondering if somewhere along I did a paradigm shift and decided to take things slow. I started optimistic, then depressed midway, then ditched emotionality and went on. Just went on, with less fire. I probably got tired. And for once just went on. But by doing so, I sorta feel an underachiever. Which goes against my grain, because am ambitious. But exhaustion got the better of me I guess. So here I am, in my "went on" mode, thinking, if twas all a mistake. But then in the end, what matters to me the most anyway? Is it ambition or balance? Is it fire or calm? Is it peace or passion?

I know that my heart breathes fire, but I figured that it's not sustainable for me. With passion comes pain, anger, not just love and desire. And it's consuming me that am afraid there may be nothing left of me after. But while peace, calm, balance work for some, I learned that it's not what my heart needs. It’s not beating as fast as it did before. There's not enough blood being pumped to it. And I miss that tempo I was born with.

Maybe this is why there's only the expression "follow your heart" and not "follow your mind". So why not leave sustainable to the environment and the pro-greens, and live to my heart's desire. Because to sustain a life, you got to feed the heart first, and the rest will follow. =)

If this heart wants fire, then let's see some blaze! Hehe. Happy New Year everyone!


crime of passion

the first thing i did on my holiday vacay was unintentionally do something illegal.

as i was waiting in the mall for gf, to do (if i may borrow a friend's term) my spousal duty of accompanying her for her haircut, i roamed aimlessly (i think it's called malling) and landed in one of the galleries. at the far end corner of the gallery is where the crime happened. i stood no chance with these three. not only was i outnumbered, it was temptation of eden times three.

if i had the buck i would have bought all these three and mounted them in my own house, assuming i had the money also to have bought my own place by then. the paintings blew me away. i mean, wow! reflex was to take shots. i wanted to capture good shots and even shifted from one position to another, unmindful that am already committing an illegal act, until the old ladies reprimanded me. yikes! the painter strictly forbids photos taken of his work. sigh. but i had enough in my iphone to share (enjoy!) and stare at in my cell (in case i get to prison).

am sure you understand that any gay woman in my position would do the same illegal act. for there's always a right reason/provocation behind every wrongdoing. in my case, make that three right reasons. ;)

**apologies to the painter**
Gossip Girl - Blair: "I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion."



i can't sing to save my life. it's a crime to be tone deaf in the age of videoke and plugged nation. but i manage to survive thru other non-musical talents. hehe. so i guess i can't be blamed for easily falling/get attracted to girls who rock it.

once on an out of town work planning stint where we went to a bar after, i went gaga over a vocalist/guitarist. she sings gwen stefani songs, she's in mini UK plaid skirt with boots and clunky necklaces. i instantly became a freakin shriekin fan. and i was in cloud nine. but being out of town, didn't see her again. sigh.

months later at an exclusive party organized by my ex, i saw her again (yey!) with her bandmate (they're 2 cool chicks). omg. it pumped me high. but then i learned from the circle, that she and her mestiza bandmate are a couple. OUCH. still a freakin, shriekin fan though, i stared at her endlessly as she lifted me to rock and roll heaven with every girl angsty song. by second set, i noticed that she's drunk. at the restroom, she went knocking at every cube asking for ciggies. i was in one of the cubes, and goddammit, why didn't i ever smoke! i went out of my cube and she was still there. wasted! slumped. crying, snots and whatnot. there i was in front of my super duper rocker crush, in a vulnerable state, a golden opportunity really, and all i can do was just stare. before i could even muster a movement near her, other girls came in. rocker crush sluggishly stood up and asked them again for smoke. mental note: seriously consider social smoking. others have done more for love, smoking (with the risk of bad breath, yellow teeth, black lips, ohyeah, and lung cancer too) is such a small price/investment to win over the girl of your fantasy.

i went out, kicking my ass for the biggest stupid act of my life. back at my seat, i can only fume and drink. as the music became upbeat, people started dancing. rocker crush was in the dance floor dancing to herself, she then went hopping at each table, asking the girls to go dance. she was jumping with drink on one hand and smoke on the other. she was more wasted now. i have a suspicion she took in other stuff too. she kept hugging everyone in between jumps and puff. and i was transfixed at what i do best, stare at her endlessly.

i should be ecstatic to finally see again my rocker crush, but watching her crumble by whatever she took, be it alcohol, smoke, drugs, pain, i only felt sadness. her supposed gf was there, mingling with the other women. they appear cool, but rocker crush i sensed is in trouble. so much that she drowns it with all the numbing stuff available that night.

i didn't see her anymore after that night. that night when the crush i nurtured actually got crushed. i hope the same songs she sang that lifted me to various heights be the same songs that heal her heart.

Train Crush 16

far from popular belief, pink is not the official color of cute. red is. hehe. this girl is a contradiction. how can you be so cute and charming and be in daring red? colors aside, cute is your barely combed hair, charming is your shy smile, sweet is your not so pointed nose (yes, nose has a taste, hehe) and soft are your cheek bones.

i had to control the impulse to touch your cheeks with the back of my palm. i felt like hugging you to shield you from the harsh world and whisper a promise to your gentle lobes that everything will be alright.

i'll be your knight and you my lady. you are the fairy and i'm under your spell. you are the happy ending yet to unfold. you are my train crush 16.


Have yourself a lezzy little Christmas

A gay Christmas to all of us! :) Cheers!

Have yourself a lezzy little Christmas

Have yourself a lezzy little Christmas,
Let our girls not fight
Next year on,
Our homophobes will be out of sight (wish!)

Have yourself a lezzy little Christmas,
Make the Yuletide GAY,
Next year on,
Our haters will be miles away. (please!)

We are gay since the olden days,
Lezzy golden days of yore.
Faithful gays who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more.

Until then
We all will be together,
For the Fates allow
Hang a rainbow flag upon the highest bough.
And have yourselves a lezzy little Christmas now.


black is the new black

a quick post now that my hangover's lifted and before i rush to a bank errand.

i've seen a lot of lez-themed flicks, but haven't one that explicitly shows hungry oral action. in a mainstream film. with two mainstream actresses. make that two hot mainstream actresses. or did i just not watch enough lez flicks?

i have posted about Black Swan before, and just told you about the kiss. but i now realize that it lacked justice to the intensity that is Black Swan. this is a mind fuck (i love puns!) psychological thriller drama of a lez-themed film. actually they're not marketing it as lez. the girl to girl part is juxtaposed in the web of rivalry, deceit, powerplay, art, ambition, paranoia. will tell more after i've watched the full film soon. err, once K gives me a copy. hehe. for now, let us all de-stress from the holiday madness and watch snippets of a different kind of black madness ;)

who says you need big boobs to make a scene this wildly stimulating? now go find your women (as in now!) and make your own black intensity, snippets or otherwise. cheers! =)


Want a taste of LABIA?

Still fresh from the blog awards fever, I've been thinking about a lez blog making it there. But since it can easily be diluted under the personal blog category, I can imagine the challenges already. With that, i've decided that I'll launch my own blog awards - Lesbian And a Blogger Intl Awards - LABIA. Haha. This will be for all lesbians/G2G/women loving women Filipino bloggers (for now) all over the universe!  woohoo! Maybe I'll have one finalist per month and feature it. Then decide who gets the LABIA trophy at the end of the year. Don't worry, won't be literal on the labia of a trophy, unless there's clamor for it. Haha. Will start on January. I dunno a lot of lez blogs, so please help me out and send recommendations while I polish the LABIA project. Maybe I'll ask you beautiful ladies for votes or have judges. Let's see. Do send in suggestions, ideas, help (cash or otherwise. Lol!). I also must check if a labia award giving body already exists (which i doubt). So please help me out on that too. Oops! My train stop's next. Gtg! Later.

This is what happens to me when am sleep deprived, I get crazy! =)



Speaking of fuck you, I once got an SMS like that from a new friend (who reads this blog). I didn't know I can merit such intense reply from a new acquaintance. Hehe. Is my new friend playing jekyll and hyde on me? Really odd because I found her to be very nice. I decided to save the SMS in case she denies it and also to serve as reminder to myself not to trust easily no matter how nice the skin of that woman is. I next blocked her from my IM lest I get more 7-letter words. Days after, she SMSd again. I asked her what gives. And she said she didn't and would never say that to me. She suspected it must be her live-in ex-gf who did that for that woman is a jealous live-in ex-gf. Hay, too many hyphens mean trouble. So why didn’t I FY back to the live-in ex-gf? She doesn't deserve any of my intensity. Bleh!

Speaking of jealousy, a friend whom I enjoy hanging out with had to stop our gig because her gf's getting jealous of lil adorable me. Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t do anything other than be my adorable self. Hehe. I never sought the person, she was the one who initiates the interaction. This got me upset a bit. I think in my post of January 2010, I highlighted my quest for new friends. But turned out to be really challenging. Sad. So I told this to my other friend (who has asked me several times in jest when will my gf and I break up. I just let those pass else I won't have a friend to talk to right?). And other friend was like, "is her gf nuts? You're like a celebrity! (exclamation from me only. Hehe). You don't get jealous to a celebrity." Oonganaman! Hahaha. Yep, that's why I keep this friend, she's such a sweetheart. :)

Anyhoo, smart as I am, I've often been clueless and naïve to hints as I don't want to thread the path of assumption grounds. Even though girls  there are so pretty. Ok, I digressed. I didn’t mean the exclusive school, but it's true about their girls. Soo when friend with jealous gf hinted in some form, I responded back (in some form) ignorantly, which can easily be misconstrued as the feeling is mutual.  I didn’t realize it's a hint until after she pointed it out to me. Tension's gone so is the fun. I steered clear as I don't want to cause any rift.

Speaking of rift, remember hot girl? Saw her in pride march. We sorta sms'd after that.

FW: saw pix of you in fb, with guys commenting you're hot

HG: I feel so uncomfortable being on fb. Maybe  a little covert like you.

FW: It can't be helped since you work for **** and a hot one at that. So get used to it :)

HG: Haha. Well thanks. But I think they said some mean things too, but the person am seeing asked the guy to take it down thankfully. How are things on your end?

FW: of course I can't let that one slip - soo you're seeing someone : ) nice. Care to tell a tiny bit more?

HG: Haha. I'm super private like you but it's been N months. We’re just having fun together. Way to try to slip by without giving any details yourself!

FW:  so where did you two meet? From here? Female or male? Those will be my last 3 questions about the person you are seeing (which am sure has a name). What do you want to know about myself? I dunno what to tell.

HG: Ok, I'll answer two of those. Our common friend introduced us. And yep, from here. Whatever you want to tell. Maybe one of the things  you want from life? Of your favorite book?

FW: Currently reading the 4 Hour Work Week. Wants to buy the book M Factor (about the millenials). Reading up online on how to do trading. Pondering about the meaning of friendship in the age of facebook. Fave books of all time - If you see Buddha on the road, kill him (Sheldon Kopp) and The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand). Also Love Doesn't Exist (can't remember the author, borrowed from my college teacher). Fave films - Memento and Inception. I love mindfuck films. So I love 3 things - women, books and films.

HG: Those  are my favorite films too. Christopher Nolan really knocked them out of the park. I want to be made to think as a viewer and be transported - viola! Add to those loves food and genuine connections with others, those connections that affirm you exist, and you have me.

FW: wow! A mouthful. If I have you, how come we never hang out? Ohyeah right, you're seeing a person. Hehe. Just teasing. So in case you missed the subtext, it's an invitation to hang out with you if it's ok with the person you are seeing.

HG: I'd have to check with her because I'm trying this whole honest and upfront thing.

FW: trying is the operative word. If it helps, it's a guaranteed "friendly" hang out invitation only. I have a gf. But I don't have a lot of friends whom I can discuss Nolan with and other non-existential stuff. Only if it's ok with your person. I don't want to cause a rift or something.

HG: Oh wow! That would be great! I really need more girl friends. I'm so excited to hang out. I've almost given up on having lesbian girl friends because no one's really wanted to be just friends. Plus it's nice to be around with similar interests. Catch you soon ;)

Speaking of catch, i badly need to catch up on sleep. work has been exhausting day in, day out and i even had to work weekend. 

Speaking of end, this is it. Will sleep now. Good night! =)


bloggers' world

For some technical reason, can't access my shoutbox from my phone. Wifi is fast and free now at Rcbc. Not working, but attending the phil blog awards. Nope, not nominated (I wish!), but a guest of a friend awardee and 2010 nominee. So far, only 2 lesbian sightings (excluding me). There should be a category on lgbt. Just saying.

A comics blogger who's a college-mate asked my friend awardee what his blog is. I asked him about his blog to dodge the question to me. But afterwards, he remembered. Dang! Told him my URL. You'd think he'd stop there. "does your blog has a niche?" err, yes. "what's your niche?" it's a lesbian blog. "Oh.*pause* I think I've seen your blog before." Yeah, right.

Program starting. Later friends! :)

Just in - my super famous good friend professional heckler won under the humor category! Yahoo! :)

professional heckler won 2 awards! woot! woot! best humor blog and one of the top 3 posts of 2010. he's won 3 years in a row - three peat! :) he writes political (sometimes entertainment-related) satire that's ALWAYS funny and meaty. heck, even his acceptance speech was funny!

a blogger i know, fickle cattle also won! one of the top 3 posts of 2010. neat! i shrieked to my friend that i know that guy! i later went over his side and introduced myself. good thing he remembers my blog. hehe. he writes about his experiences on being gay, family, relationships, etc. he writes very well and for a law student, amazingly often. hehe.

a blogger i really respect is sidney who i have finally met in person thru the event. yey! i've known of his blog from way back and i like his black and white photos. he's a foreigner taking pics of the local scene. you'd think of tour spots. but no, he takes pics of the usual spots in the metro like kids in squatters' area. kids who surprisingly look happy albeit the misery in their environment. so do check out his site.   

i also saw karla, one of the organizers there and the one in the two lesbian sightings (the other her gf. hehe). her blog is very popular in the music scene. so visit hers too for gig updates and freebies! :)


rant in a song

there's truth to the saying, good things come in small package. for this case a teeny-weeny ukelele with a sumkinda winona ryder look-alike belting it out.

was supposed to rest early today, but this is soo blog-worthy. how many times did we want to scream those words to someone?

to the girl we so deserve but didn't get
to the boss who promoted somebody else instead of us
to the cab driver who won't let us in
to the traffic enforcers who unfairly gave us a ticket
to the teacher who flunked us
to the homophobics
to the unbelievable traffic
to the net connection that keeps breaking
to an innocent bystander, just because we feel like cussing

all together now -- FUCK YOU!!!

F*ck You
by StitchedElf - Ukelele cover

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and i'm like,
Fuck you!

Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!

I said, if I was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Yeah i'm sorry, I can't afford a ferrari,
But that don't mean I can't get you there.
I guess he's an xbox and i'm more atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.
I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
(just thought you should know nigga)
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
I said, if I was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...

Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Now I know, that I had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
'Cause being in love with you ass ain't cheap.
I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
(just thought you should know nigga)
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
I said, if I was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?
(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my momma but she told me
"this is one for your dad"
(your dad, your dad, your dad)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you oh!
I still love you. Oooh!

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and i'm like,
Fuck you!

Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
I said, if I was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo


pride march 1

I had an overseas friend (OF) whom I was very close with. We first met in a forum, and then transitioned to regular chatting. We became close friends to a point where she's like my big "kuya" (brother). Yep, kuya. She was the one who insisted I call her kuya. And I believe fate favored our friendship because we even have the same name! How cosmic right?

We shared almost everything, from world views, life longings, personal struggles, past pains, even our gfs. Not in the sense that you're thinking, but more like being involved in the relationship.

I was her errand girl. OF would tell me what she needs/wants or what she's planning, I would give my inputs/ideas (being opinionated as I am), and then I would do the legwork. I arranged for flower deliveries, with my handwriting on the cards. I ordered food from restos (pizza, meals, etc) to be delivered to her. I made a box full of small cards printed with things OF loves about her gf and OF's plans for them. That was my idea by the way. I bought love birds for OF's gf. And I also organized a surprise birthday party for OF's gf. That was also my idea. Hehe.

One time, I saw OF's gf post in her blog pictures of the flowers and the card (which has my handwriting and my name, since we have the same name). It sorta freaked me out. I was uncomfortable because the gf was saying how "kilig" she was. For a millisecond, my mind went yikes! It somehow appeared like I got myself a second gf. Haha.

OF asked me to meet her gf, to get to know her. Maybe to watch over her gf since she's away. I don't have close lez friends then, both emotionally and proximity-wise. Gf is not out and doesn't go to g2g events. So I took OF's gf to exclusive parties, poetry nights, meet-ups with g2g (girl-to-girl) forum peeps, dyke dialogues and pride march.

Most people in those activities mistook us as couples. We always tell them we're not, but they mostly don't believe us. Tough.

Along the way OF's gf found her way to the lez scenes. OF's gf got close to the lez circle I introduced her into. And became particularly closer to one girl. I detected where it might lead to and immediately warned OF. I am not in the position to impose, only to share my thoughts and feelings.

They eventually broke up because of that particular girl. OF called me early mornings and howled her grief. OF said she needs to go away, to heal perhaps.  I respected that. Months later (or was it years?), from someone else, I learned that they got together again. Neat. Many more months (I lost count), still nothing from OF. It's been years and we still haven't "talked". OF and her gf broke up again. Her gf then now has a new gf. And I heard recently, OF also has her own gf, this time in the same country where she lives.

People come and go. Some bring someone when they enter our lives. And when they decide to go, sometimes the one they brought along is the one that stays.

My OF's now ex-gf, whom I used to send flowers for, gave stuff to, organized  a party for, who's constantly been mistaken as my gf is now my good girl friend.

To my pride march buddy, thank you for the unexpected and enduring friendship. Cheers! =)



More reason to go to Pride March

i am swelling (and at the same time bawling) with pride for this very young man (14 y/o), Graeme Taylor who drove an hour to the teachers' board to defend his teacher who got suspended for a day without pay because the teacher ejected from the room two students who gave anti-gay comments.

am amazed how freely he can express himself in such an eloquent manner, as if being gay is the most natural thing to be and defending gay rights is the second most natural thing to do. i mean, wow! i guess that's what happens if one is out - you are free.

gay or not, i think Graeme is really smart, but because he himself had his share of the struggles growing up gay, he developed this sensibility and sensitivity to separate right from wrong and take action based on that. cheers to you!!! :)

i will march on Saturday, as i did for the past 2 yrs. i will be out in public, under the scrutiny of the homophobics, the confused, the media, with the possible risk of getting caught in camera and being discovered by people i know (family, colleagues, unknowing friends). i am gay. and i am not out. but once a year, i commit to be one with the community and publicly show my pride with being gay. and then most probably, have the greatest time partying after, because gay parties are the fiercest! =)

Graeme's guesting at Ellen's show

his speech:


LSP (lesbian sex positions)

i swear i was just mindlessly web surfing when this page turned out. i started with gay penguins and ended with dolls doing it. quite cute actually. =) since am like many who came here uneducated (there should be a school for lez. just saying) and effin knows nothing before, guides are heaven sent.if you have other LSP suggestions, please be kind and post a comment. =)


Lesbian Sex Positions For Dummies

by Helen Childs
A girl's got to start somewhere hasn't she!? I'm sure we've all been in situations where we're left wondering what exactly the side-show contortionist we've hastily bedded is trying to achieve as she vaults across the room via the chandelier (what can I say, the décor at my house is a little pretentious!). Let's face it; it doesn't always quite go to plan. I for one have ended up in many an unladylike position, some of which have ended painfully; not a heartbroken sobbing wreck, but more like concertinaed into the splits and wedged between a wall and a bed. Believe me; nobody looks pretty from that angle! So, here are a few basics as a refresher for us all and as some handy (no pun intended) hints and tips for you lovely ladies who haven't given it a bash yet... So to speak.
Jump right in girls, the water's warm!

Lesbian Sex Positions

I have it on good authority that this is currently called 'The Student' because statistically (that's right, Mathematics... it must be true!) this is both the most common position to have sex in and the one you are most likely to use in your first girl-on-girl experience. I might also argue that it's the one you're most likely to develop "Lesbian-Bed-Death" (now an official medical term) in, which bookends the whole thing rather nicely. To use the more widely accepted terminology, I'd call this "Vanilla"; Tasty, available at every good ice-cream vendor, but sadly quite plain. It involves full body contact and the kind of intimacy that you can only get from holding somebody closely and staring into her beautiful eyes whilst you're whispering those three all important words. No, I'm not referring to "I've had better!"

Lesbian Sex Positions

Yes. I know. It's the least sexy word for anything that ever existed. It'd be hotter to call it an X-man name. But, most surprisingly, it's not a word that I realised existed until I was writing this (I apologise, if I'm alone in this. Thank you for providing me with a reason to educate myself in cunning linguistics...ahem). After extensive research on your behalf with a close personal friend of mine (I'm selfless to a fault I admit it) we discovered that it pretty much describes 'humping'. I assume they renamed it because that's equally unattractive. To quote the pixie friend in question, it's when "You get giddy on someone's leg"... or hip, or knee, or pretty much whichever body part, including genitals, you choose to rub yourself against, and is far sexier than any of the words I've used to describe it suggests. I'm not Sarah Waters. So shoot me.

Lesbian Sex Positions
Everybody say "Ahhhhhh!" In which you lie behind her, fitting together like two spoons in the cutlery drawer of love. (pauses to dry heave)

Lesbian Sex Positions

The traditional "Muff Dive". Well, I've always said it; you really can't beat a classic! Oral sex comes in many shapes and forms depending on how limber you're feeling, but the "This is a stick-up...Spread 'em!" approach never goes amiss. Also, and this is my 'HOT TIP' for August (so make the most of it because I normally play my cards much closer to my chest), she will be screaming her head off if, while you're going down on her, you penetrate her at the same time just enough to find her G-spot. I.e. NOT just with whatever comes to hand... chocolate bar, candle, bed-side lamp; NO, NO, NO! It's a guaranteed winner, or your money back. Not that you've paid me anything...we'll just have to work something out! Obviously, it's a given that, as with all of these positions (but particularly with this because no-one wants a teeth related accident to lead to anyone being kneed in the face), you make an effort to be sensitive to her needs (take instruction from her as to how she likes it) and as with all things it involves it own sets of risks including getting lock-jaw if you get too carried away. Just a word to the wise.

Lesbian Sex Positions

One such clichéd variation is the "69", and does exactly what it says on the tin, letting you both go down on each other at the same time. Vive La Equalite! However, if like me you're a barely-there wisp of a thing (unless you've asserted yourself and insisted on being on the top deck) you run the risk of inducing a bout of claustrophobia, especially if your chosen partner if considerably bigger than you are. It's certainly harder to relax and enjoy the experience if you're concentrating on more bread and butter issues... like breathing! This brings me to the next position which is basically a sort of lazy '69', in that it's exactly the same but on your side, which has the added bonus of you both having an arm free to do whatever you please with. Probably not a good idea to suggest thumb-wars though.

Lesbian Sex Positions

This is that old Romantic Monty Python song: 'Sit on my face... and tell me that you love me!' Not that I need to mention it, but singing the actual song whilst doing it will almost certainly kill the mood... as, infact, will mentioning Monty Python or any of their sketches at all during sex; it DOES NOT constitute 'Talking Dirty!'

Lesbian Sex Positions

Doing someone from behind is more versatile than you might assume and can be totally mind-blowing, especially for the lucky girl in the more passive pose because it allows for very deep either vaginal or anal penetration. If you're feeling particularly like showing off it's possible to reach around and stimulate her clitoris at the same time. Moreover, with her in this position and if you're a competent enough multi-tasker to achieve all of the above simultaneously, maybe you could rest a book on her back and get a little light reading done too. Or not. This is an excellent default position for a quickie, especially if you enjoy a little role play, and want to grab your partner and bend her over pretty much any object in the vicinity... the kitchen top, a work desk, a bench in the park. Though, with regards to my last suggestion, I will responsibly mention that you might get arrested for that so think twice unless you also have a thing for uniforms. Ooh... a charge desk in a police station... okay, now I'm getting carried away. They definitely wouldn't let you do that. Puritans!

Lesbian Sex Positions

In this position your legs represent the blades of a pair of scissors, enabling you to grind against each other as if you were two sets of scissors facing each other with the blades over-lapping. In all honesty I can't think of a situation where you'd be doing this with your stationary, unless you were terminally bored, which makes you wonder why they (the faceless people embodying the popular trends) called it this. Nevertheless it really is fun and sexy but can be difficult to get right and both come at the same time. It's a skill to be acquired, just so that you can say you can! It's also given rise to many a comedy drunken situation where I've tried to demonstrate how tricky it can be to horrified hetero on-lookers at parties only to slip over in the kitchen while trying to get my leg off a sideboard. Dislocated hips aside, you can't help but feel a sense of personal accomplishment when done correctly. Not dissimilar to this but using slightly fewer of your cunningly acquired trapeze artist skills is the sitting version of Scissors.

Lesbian Sex Positions

That's right, the enjoyable kind, not sitting in on a Saturday night watching fame-crazy nobodies sleep and argue over toast on Big Brother. Getting a third party involved in your sex life doesn't necessarily mean they have to touch you. Sometimes it can be as much of a turn on to be watched by a gorgeous mystery 'other', even if they do only have one arm (I refer you to my picture)... but maybe that does it for you?!

Lesbian Sex Positions
If you really want to mix things up you can always introduce the third person physically into the fun, which allows for many more permutations of positions. In this particular example one of you can receive oral sex whilst the giver is taken from behind. It occurs to me that ideally you want to aim to be the filling in the sandwich rather than the bread. I suppose for the sake of etiquette you should let everyone have a turn, as tempting as it would be for it to be all about me... me... ME! But then I am an only child!

Lesbian Sex Positions

I'm a firm believer in Safer Sex, but particularly if you're referring to a little light bondage. In a comfortable, trusting environment being out of control, or on the flip-side in complete control, can be a massive turn on. As can the introduction of sex toys if you feel inclined to spice things up a bit. Preferably though, don't enter into it with someone who thinks it's hilarious to wander off to the shops for a few hours and leave you trussed-up and tethered like you've been shipped off to market for sale.

Lesbian Sex Positions

Enough said. Don't be a wall-flower and fun will be had by all.
So, I hope you've enjoyed our whistle stop tour. There are of course a myriad of sexual positions which can be achieved for a more fulfilling and acrobatic type sex life, and much I haven't touched on as yet, but ultimately it's important to bare in mind a few crucial things. Any position is easier and more fun on a soft surface and with enough lube, and, sex is great but don't do it to the exclusion of important life details such as working, eating, sleeping, and washing. Especially washing!!! Oh, and most importantly, the thing to remember is to be happy, comfortable and safe, and I don't mean making sure you pack a brick and some mace before you embark on a rendezvous.


"It Gets Better" — Love, Pixar

i was feeling terrible the past days because of a series of work overtime and most awful last night because of domestic violence at home. i don't have the energy yet to write about it. but tonight, am hanging on to these three words, "it gets better".

to the love of my life: i hope to see the day, when after a hard day's work, i get to go home to the love and calm that is you. and all will be right. i'm grouchy today for a reason, but i love you in countless ways.


on fire

the fantasy of all lesbians, including straights.

first saw her in tv from the film Foxfire. i actually can't remember the title, i just googled it now. she was a wanderer in the name of Legs Sadovsky who plotted a coup to oust their teacher and tattooed her girl pals with the fire symbol as their bond.  i was very young then, have no concept of gays and yet she got me watching her.

i mean, look at her and who wouldn't right? i wasn't able to start the film and just saw portions of it. only now was i able to understand the full story from wikipedia. and even then as a teen she's already hot, brave, intense. so before gia, there was foxfire first.

and before shane, there was jolie as "Legs".

the one with fire is always hotter. hehe. seriously, teen, rebel, tattoo artist jolie vs skateboarding haircutter shane? no contest.



shiloh, let me start by saying i love shiloh for doing what she wants. sense of style is personal. and i think she's hot this early. :D

justin, i've always thought of her/him as dyke looking. one of the reasons why i like him/her. admit it, you've mistook him as a tomboy when he wasn't that popular yet or even now. i know my mom did. hehe.

ellen, i must say looks ageless. and looks cooler each year.

i dunno, they all look related here, like one person in 3 stages/phases of life. go figure! :)   



i must agree - fabray is a fucking tease. and i like it! damn!

faith in shit

this made me laugh. sharing.

from here.

to add a few from me:

The Secret cult - Believe you already have Shit and it will happen.

And Dating Daan (Eli Soriano) - E gago pala ang shit na yan e! Kundi ka ba naman isa't kalahating tanga at maniniwala ka sa shit?! Nakasulat yan sa banal na aklat. Basa! (ang shit)

Iglesia ni Cristo (rebuttal to Ang Dating Daan) - *shows a video of Bro. Eli's shit* Yan po ang panloloko tungkol sa shit mga kasama. Ang tunay na shit ay ang mula lamang kay Bro. Manolo. Kaya nararapat lamang na magbigay tayo buwan buwan ng ikapu ng ating shit ayon sa utos sa itaas.

Bro. Mike Velarde Gusto nyo ng madaming shit? Sundan nyo ang aking sasabihan - ako ay naniniwala, na si Bro Mike ay pogi! Naniniwala ako na bubuhos ang shit at yayaman ako, basta magpupunas ako araw araw ng panyo na may tatak ng grupo at maghuhulog sa bangko ng grupo. Amen? Amen!

Elsa of Himala - Walang shit! Hindi totoo ang shit! Ang shit ay nasa isip lamang ng tao..."

good night! =)


still can't sleep

yeah. i wish i've thought of that. i always appear needy, bec am clingy, when am just touchy/PDA-y.
good thing gf is not a drama queen and just lets me be. she finds humor in my antics and PDA attempts. haha. and after i've thrown myself to her in public (sometimes she forgets and gets too comfy too). i'd suddenly break free and remind her that she's not into PDA. and she would just give me the look. like am the silliest person in the world, that am being absurd, yet it's ok and loves me still. that look! sometimes i would just stare at her face endlessly as if i've been paid to do it 24x7. i love staring at people by nature, specially beautiful women and most specially her. am fascinated that i've been with this same woman for years and never tire looking at her. love sick? nah, on the contrary, am love cured! i feel good, no, i feel great when am with her. my heart flutters as if it has wings. i look at her and i smile. i cup her face and i am happy. maybe am like this because she's soo happy with me that it gets mirrored on me every time i look at her. haha! am so full of myself. she's full of me. works well. hehe.

my baby has a nasty headache.

sorry baby that i had to work very late and not be with you going home. just think that all the hard work, am doing this for our future. sleep tight. and i'll bawi tomorrow ;)

**image from icanread**


soo tired, but can't sleep.

from: icanread

enjoying the wilderness

i just learned that wild women are attractive. well, i just met one straight woman in LA whom i surprisingly like. she's loud (but with a twang), dressed obscenely (pokpok shorts as we term it here, knee high boots, off shoulder top, heavy makeup - all in a chilly night. maybe she's eskimo-skinned), obnoxious, and dances, sings ala-Nicole of pussycat dolls (well, not exactly like Nicole, but the effort is there). she had me the moment she repeatedly opened and closed her legs in the form of  a dance. open, close, open, up, down - it's hypnotic! before i know it, i felt something warm down my belly. whoa! firewomyn got fired up! and then i realized i was sitting across her boyfriend. ugh!


lez watch

The L Word - American, 7 lesbians standing.

Lip Service - British, 6 lesbians lying down.

i have a soft spot for brit shows. and i've read this is good.

The L Word - fiction we loved. poster: tasteful.

*can't find the poster with the title in the middle.*

The Real L Word - reality (my ass!). poster: tacky.

read that the show is some spin-off of L Word, but must you also inspire your poster from them too? at least copy and do it with better taste.


i guess what's Lacking with L shows is variety. they all kinda feel/look the same. but then, maybe am just bored. for starters, can we live without the letter "L" in the titles? yeah, i am bored.

Gay marriage, finally legal! - in FrontierVille

this may be five months late, but still happy to discover that an online game - FrontierVille allows same-sex marriage! Woot! Woot! =)

how radical is that huh? =) games are virtual fantasies anyway, where imagination is the limit. so why it happened just recently, escapes me. but being happy that i am now, am still all smiles at the thought that wow! we can get married, have kids (yep, they allow same sex partners to have kids there) and be in equal game with the rest. dandy! Zynga --- you're the coolest game developer ever! the lgbt world loves you back! =)

the only "bug" reported is that the labels remain to be the default "bride and groom". well, maybe in the next version/release.

to date, users of Zynga’s FrontierVille game have created 650,000 same-sex marriages. grand!

related links:
Zynga Boasts 320M Users and 650,000 Same-Sex Marriages

You can be gay in FrontierVille

Zynga’s new FrontierVille allows for same sex marriage


Israelez in Dancing with the Stars

Forgot to post this last week. sorry about that.

see this beautiful woman? she's a tv sportscaster. she dances well. and she dances with another woman. did i tell you she's from israel? check out the article at the bottom.

meet Gili Shem Tov.

with her dance partner Dorit Milman in Dancing with the Stars.
first time ever to have same-sex dance partners in the show. sorry ellen & portia, they beat you to it. tough. you can at least be the first in the US franchise of the show. =) the more, the many! hehe.

with her equally beautiful life partner, Maya Ferrer:

with their soo cute baby:

the groundbreaking dance:

i love her rehearsal "tomboy" top by the way. =) you can search youtube for the full dance vid.

Hit Israel TV series breaks new ground on sexuality 
By Sara Hussein
Agence France-Presse
First Posted 08:59:00 11/03/2010

JERUSALEM—The Israeli production of the international hit "Dancing with the Stars" broke new ground on Tuesday when it became the show's first version to introduce a same-sex duo as dance partners.

In the live broadcast, statuesque blonde Gili Shem Tov, an openly lesbian sports presenter, shimmied onto the stage in a skimpy dress, fishnet stockings and dangly earrings alongside her petite, straight partner, professional dancer Dorit Milman, who wore an identical outfit.

Before performing their piece, Milman gave Shem Tov a sisterly kiss on the cheek.
At a pre-broadcast runthrough earlier in the day Shem Tov told AFP that she had asked to dance with another woman because it was comfortable for her.

"For me it felt natural. I live with a woman, we are raising my son," she said. "It's not an issue."
Assaf Gil, who produced the show, said Shem Tov was a natural choice for the competition, which pairs national celebrities with professional dancers for weekly dance-offs.

But he admitted he was surprised when she said she would prefer to dance with another woman.
"It was quite something unexpected," he said. "We didn't actively search for same-sex couples but when she did approach us and she requested to dance with a girl we said: 'Absolutely, why not?'"
Shem Tov said her decision was driven partly by a desire to encourage Israeli society to become more accepting.

"If by doing that, even only a few people will be more tolerant or open-minded, so I achieved my goal," she told journalists.

At the end of their dance the women were warmly applauded by the studio audience and well received by two out of the three judges, especially by the only woman on the panel, actress and comedienne Hana Laszlo.

"I couldn't imagine what it would look like with two women dancing," she said. "It looked great, you need to loosen up but I was surprised."

Israel's homosexual community is hardly cloistered – the country hosts an annual gay pride parade and has a thriving gay club scene in Tel Aviv.

But intolerance of homosexuality is also one of the few issues that unites the country's religious Muslim, Christian and Jewish communities, and a 2009 poll found 46 percent of Israelis consider homosexuality a "perversion."

Shem Tov said most of the reactions to her pairing with Milman were positive, with messages of support coming in from around the world.

But she said others expressed concern about the sight of a same-sex duo on a "family show."
"I heard that there are some people that think that this show is for the whole family and little children are watching that and they don't want the children to see a same-sex couple," she said.
"I don't understand that. I have a little son and this is the way he lives, with me and my partner, and I don't think that's a problem."

Gil said he consulted both the local production company and the BBC, which owns the franchise, and ultimately decided the pairing would be well received by Israeli viewers.

Milman said the chance to dance with another woman presented a new professional challenge, allowing her to adapt traditional moves and roles.

"The leader and the follower, we change all the time the moves, in one time I lead her, another she leads me."

On the dance floor, the adaptations seemed to work flawlessly, with Shem Tov and Milman twisting their hips in time, their barely-there skirts flaring out around their waists as they did an energetic cha-cha around a kitchen table, former basketball player Shem Tov towering over her elfin dance partner.

Results are to be decided by viewer voting which will be announced on next Tuesday's show, when two of the dancing duos will be voted off.

article link here.


Train Crush 15

two things. i like your playboy-louis vuitton inspired jacket. double branding means you're also a show-off like me. hehe. i think we can get along. i worry though that you're high maintenance and i'd end up poorer than i already am. tsk.

second, you're cleaved 2 ways - chin and chest. you hold the distinction (i think) of being my first cleft-chinned train crush. so please stop appearing pissed or bored, and for the love of god smile? :)

you are special and unique as the zebra print in your blouse. just look at the women sitting beside you and you'll agree with me. ok, so maybe that's the reason why you're pissed. gotcha.

your double animal print (zebra and a playboy rabbit) i hope means you have the animal instinct to  prey (for me!) and more importantly, the appetite of the wabbit. is it mating season yet? :D

side story: we both were waiting at the platform and when we went inside the train, i let her sit first. i was for about 5sec torn on where to sit -

a. beside her - it would really be great to feel her skin, err jacket lang pala, and smell her hair. but then i wouldn't be able to take her pic.sigh.

b. front of her - sure i can take her pic, but then only half of my butt will be able to sit. darnit.

so i initially sat at the seats next to the one across her. but then i got REALLY lucky as the one front of her stood up and decided to sit my side. i was prettily sitting at the vacant seat in 2 giant steps. hehe. carpe diem! i know i looked weird in her eyes, but that doesn't matter then. i can always impress her later on. haha.


Plane and simple

Being usually not alert of my surroundings, of potential danger and first time to travel overseas, gf warned me not to talk to strangers, don't trust them even if they appear friendly. Since I don't have an effin clue of what to do inside the immigration side of the 'port, I just followed the signs plastered sporadically on the walls. While filling up this departure shit (which I missed, so I was asked to fill up first & then go back in line, fuck!) a pretty pinay approached me. As if on cue, gf's warning flashed like a conscience in a Safeguard tv ad. Creamy, fair skin, very long brown hair, innocent smile, dewy eyes, omg, she's very pretty! The Safeguard conscience ad got instantly replaced by a Dove commercial. I decided that pretty is an exception to gf's warning. She asked me if North Carolina is a country or a state. Omg! She's pretty & dumb! Wait, I take that back, all the pretties deserve a second chance. Maybe geography isn't her fave subject in high school, so she's pretty. Period. 

Anyhoo, I happily assisted, from one lost, first timer to another. She then explained her situation - she's on a fiance visa, she'll meet her (old) American bf in US, then get married there. She can't contact her fiancée of her whereabouts bec, dang, she left her celphone in her checked-in luggage. Plus, she hasn't set it to roaming yet. Ohkaay, maybe she's really dumb, but only a tiny bit am sure. :) 

I left miss pretty (who's soon to be wasted to an old American fart, sigh)  after completing my form. Gliding thru the immigration officers, the pinoy guard at the other end offered in hush hush tone - "smart roaming sim ma'am." pinoys really are resourceful and business people by necessity. Luveet! :) so told him about miss pretty who might be a potential customer.

Series of undressing, unpacking, dressing up, packing up (read: security checks), I finally am able to settle to the waiting area, to yes, wait for my plane goin to Japan first, then US.

While scouting the area, I was surprised by miss pretty who was sitting at my back! Who, omg again, is in the same flight as mine! Am i not the luckiest or what? :) Could she have followed me? The thought made me smile from ear to ear.

She was looking worried still, I tried to be cool. I know it's darn cold, but the moment calls for it, I took off my thick jacket to show off some skin and my black sleeveless top. If she didn't like the skin (which I doubt), she might go for my top. Hehe. 

Since I have a soft spot for this particular pretty, and she's appearing distressed, I did something stupid, i offered to email her lucky bastard of a bf via my phone. 

Fw: yahoo or gmail?
Pg: yahoo
Fw: what's your email?
Pg: jejebugz
Fw: *ohmyfreakingawd! Pretty, tiny bit dumb & a jejemon! Now that explains where she got that tiny bit of dumbness. I quickly put my jacket on,  lest I get infected by the jeje bugz. Hahaha!*

I was saved by a guy who sat beside me, who turned out to be my ex-web developer (I was his lead then) from my ex-company. He too is goin to North Carolina to work. what's all these buzz on NC. *Mental note to google it*. 

There's a sense of balance still - pretty tiny bit dumb jejemon & a smart hardworking techie guy off to NC - evens out. =) 


found some time

hello ladies! :) missed me? :D hehe. hindi po ako nag-TNT sa amerika kaya ngayon lang nagpost. i came back early morn of 11/3, and then reported to work the same day as if the word jetlag never existed. i actually attempted to cheat on jetlag by following the mnl time my entire 20hr flight. i semi-succeeded because i was operational at work last week. i forced myself to sleep 10pm. but woke up 1am and every hour after that. dang it! so even though my sleep still totals around 8hrs, i still feel tired and puffy when i wake up. the height of my time zone confusion happened this weekend. i was to attend a meet up with friends. i was ready to show off my new g2g shirt and cap. i sms'd my friend, "dami na kayo dyan?" she replied, "err, the event was yesterday." epic fail! of course i replied back that it's ok, but we all know it's NOT! if i was really ambidextrous or somewhat a contortionist, i would have loved kicking my own pretty ass. since i can't, i just seethed helplessly and violently imploded. i'll just wait for another occasion/reason/invitation to show off my new stuff. *hint! hint!*