hey, i'm back :)

I wasn’t able to write much after new work started. I guess I've been THAT busy. Everything is new, the technology, the smaller office, the smaller teams, my not so ergonomic chair, the mostly unprofessional people, the very small, European like elevator that takes forever to open and stops at each floor, the frustrated Asian boss who shouts at incompetent people and doesn't care if he offends anyone and whom I barely understood for months because of his heavy Chinese accent.  It was disarray, scary even, and I love it! =)

I got to be friends with almost everyone, even the boss. Despite people's incompetence, I enjoyed working with them. They treat me like we're peers. They don't seem to think/realize that I have a somewhat "boss" position similar to the people they call "sir".  *Most of the people here are men btw.* Maybe because I don't look as old as the others or simply, I don't look like a "ma'am". Haha.

I dress in skirts, dresses, colourful stockings, high heels, clunky accessories. One time I dressed in royal blue, green, maroon ensemble. Senior HR commented that I seem to have all the colours and mentioned about La Salle, Ateneo colors. I had to emphasize, that UP too since I have the maroon also. Senior HR's color is mostly gold. Because she has so  much gold from earrings, to necklace to bracelet to rings! Talk about show of wealth. Anyhoo, this lady is one peculiar, funny  thing which I may kwento some other time. :)

I got to be a regular employee after a couple of months and given wider work scope thru  change in position after another month. One of the incompetent "sirs" now reports to me. I guess I can say am doing great at work. Busy yes, but am having so much fun and being recognized too. I think I do thrive in chaos. Having lived it all my life.

Like all office Christmas Parties all over the Philippines, I gamely danced Gangnam Style with Eat Bulaga's Cha Cha as part of a newbie presentation with just 2hr practice the day before. Beat that. Hehehe. I survived by just enjoying the moment and infusing each step with enthusiasm (aka "project").

From the way I ranted about work for years, rare do you see me put "enjoy" and "work" in the same post. But here I am, doing it. And even mentioned "love".  I've also earned enough dough and confidence  to invest in a townhouse near Makati. So let me add, "wow!" to that. :)

Last quarter has been a colorful blast. So much good stuff in it. I am busy, exhausted at times, but I feel relaxed. I am still intense, but minus the anger.  It's like I'm in this swirl of pastel colored ease. It amazes me really how wonderful I feel these past few months which is very much in contrast to how difficult and emotional the prior year was. 

One important thing I learned this year is that just because a decision is difficult, doesn't mean it's wrong. I made three major decisions this year - came out to my two sisters, reunited with my eternal flame after a year-long hiatus, left my work of 6.5yrs to move to this interesting, yet fun chaos that I am in now.

I am happy, gay, full of love and energized.

Sabi nila, it's not the years that pass by that matter, but the moments that count. So let me just greet you Happy Moments! :)

just don't mind some of the incorrect lyrics. hehe
Some Power Thoughts for you to kick off the new year:




Monique Wilson is a lesbian and we are happy :)

I was overseas for a week, freezing my butt off while working. In an Asian country where lesbian couples freely roam the  busy streets, holding each other's hands. Where the first buddhist lesbian wedding took place.
When I came back Sunday afternoon, sweating the moment I landed the Philippine airport, I was greeted by the big gay news! Monique Wilson came out as a lesbian! Yey! But in the same breath also revealed that she has chronic blood cancer. I am greatly happy that Monique FINALLY made all those hush hush stuff official. But I am also saddened that she is ill.
STILL, it is worth celebrating that a well known Filipina theatre celebrity and a feminist at that, in no nonsense fashion came out. This is so Anderson Cooper.
I know so many news report already came out of Monique's coming out (paulit ulit? hehe). So let me just share the full interview transcript which I got a hold of from a press friend. :)

Monique Wilson
Promo of
one billion rising, strike, dance, rise. A streetdance on feb 14 2013 to stop violence against women.

Two years ago, may isang pangyayari sa akin, I was diagnosed with blood cancer two years ago, so until now i still have blood cancer. And in that moment two years ago inisip ko, you know what, life is so short it demands na we need to do something meaningful to our life hindi lang para sa sarili.
All the doubts and fear you have anything not just about my sexuality but even about my advocacies about my life choices parang it all became very clear parang ganun pala yun, when you face mortality or life and death experiences parang you get clarity.
So to me it’s very important to break those silences and stigma because people need to love with freedom, dignity and respect.
Tungkol sa sexuality mo, never mo inamin.
You know I never said it kasi I always think naku that’s going to be the issue even now ha, Promise me na one billion rising ito ha hahaha
To me naman, I never wanted to divert the issue from my theatre advocacy.
Iv’e always been out in my theatre work. And at the back of my head I used to think also hello lahat naman ng tao alam na, hello ako nagproduce ng Angels in America, kung ano anong shows na homosexuality in a time na nobody was producing it.

Ang assumption ko lahat naman ng tao alam na eh so bakit ko pa sasabihin? Until one day I realized the young ones, they’re searching for mentors, guidance, they’re searching for like positive role models who they can look at and say you know what I can be like that. I don’t have to hide who I am and fight for who I am because there are other people who paved the way for me.

I’ve been in a relationship for 14 years. Taga dito siya pero didn’t grow up here. Pinoy. In London we have a civil partnership na kasi London recognizes it so it’s no big deal there. In fact all the rights are accorded to us na.

Kinasal na kayo?
Hindi naman, pero the visa situation is attached. Parang domestic partners. Kasi UK is very liberal. So to me it’s accepted. Especially in theatre, my gosh, it’s no big deal.

Maraming matutuwang mga lgbt group.
In fact sa gay pride I’ll be giving a speech there and in fact hindi nga ako makaka-march kasi meron akong dalawang show na King and I. Pero ang promise ko after my King and I performance I will run to give a speech.

There are so many discriminatory things that go against us, that we are still fighting for, basic civil rights.

When did you know that you’re gay?
My gosh, maybe when I was 18, 19. (Miss Saigon days) yah actually.

Anong reaction ng people sa paligid mo?
Wala lang. Kasi you know I grew up in repertoire eh halos lahat naman ng tao sa theatre is such an open culture so to me it was not a big deal and my family is also supportive.

Actually sa totoo lang it’s so not a big deal to my family and friends that we never even talk about it.  Hahaha.

To them, as long as you’re happy, that’s the most important thing. And also I think yung fear naman palagi ng parents, oh they won’t have children, ay if you’re gay you can’t have children but actually you can. You can adopt. To my family it wasn’t really a big deal.

That’s what made me feel even grateful, kasi my family was so supportive. We never even talked about it. There are so many others, gunigulpi sila ng parents.

So everyday my gratitude has been deepening. I’ve been so lucky in my life, even with my illness , even in London with all the medications, it's free. I’ve been lucky with my career to have gotten in Miss Saigon.

I’m 42 na now. It’s really time to give back, and we shouldn’t give back when were in our 70s, so kelangan it has to be now.

Alam din ni Lea Salonga?
Alam na niya from Miss Saigon days pa. Alam mo sa teatro, hindi namin pinaguusapan kasi siyempre you just socialize with each other, spend Christmases together, visit each other’s house. And mababait din kasi theatre friends ko eh, na siyempre they’re not naman gonna tell other people unless you want to say it yourself. It’s not a big deal talaga.

How did you introduce your partner to Lea
I just say this is my partner, ganun lang. It’s so simple and straight forward.

Anong feeling now you’ve come out in front of the camera?
I’m really happy. I just hope that it will not eclipse the one with the rising campaign promise because syempre that advocacy is so important to me but on that aspect I’m very happy.

I never lied, alam n’yo naman yun. I never denied it except that naku baka yun ng yun ang pagusapan hindi yung work.

The media, grabe ang Philippine media, saludo ako sa inyo. You just gave me so much respect that I now have to return it also to you and come out and thank you also for allowing me all the time and space to figure out who I am and also to keep doing my work without any obstructions.

Kamusta ang sakit mo?
I’m managing kasi what I have is a type of blood cancer that’s chronic so you have it for all your life. So I take a chemo tablets each day. So wala pa syang cure, but if you manage it, you can extend your life or prolong it. Pero I have a lot of side effects.

It’s part of my gratitude. Hindi ko na iko-complain pa yan ‘cause to me I’m so lucky to be alive, to be well, to be on medication.

I got stronger nga when I got cancer kasi ang feeling ko why waste my life? I’m so lucky to be given this chance and also to be diagnosed of it early.

Message to Miss Saigon hopefuls
My message to them, you just have to work hard talaga. If you remember nakuha namin yung Miss Saigon pero 10 years kaming nasa Repertory Philippines group, so ilan taon din kaming naghone ng aming talents and skills.

So I’ll tell all aspiring Miss Saigons, magtrain kayo, mag-singing lessons kayo, acting workshops. Kasi hindi biro ang Miss Saigon na show. It’s very demanding, requires a lot of your stamina and discipline. Tough life. Siguro hindi naman sya glamorous. Tough life siya, nakakapagod siya.

But more than that, you should really love your craft and love the industry you’re coming from. Kasi yun din ang awakening ng Miss Saigon eh. Kailangan kong maibalik sa Philippines ang natutunan ko dun.

I’ve been so lucky to work with the best of theatre people, so ang feeling ko I have to bring it back to the Philippines. So I hope that all who will be chosen in Miss Saigon will also not forget the Philippine theatre. Where they come from and come back and share what they learn there.

here's a long online article about Monique's coming out which you can also read.


the beautiful kevin balot

i was about to leave our house this morning for work, when i saw her for the first time. she is the kevin  balot, grand winner of the miss international queen 2012, the miss universe i think in transgenders. she has this beautiful, milky, rosy skin. she looks fresh and youthful. she doesn't look overly done unlike other biological women i see. she is charming and very happy with her own skin. *well, if i have that kind of skin who has the look of one bathing in fresh milk, i would be ecstatic with my own skin too! :D*

how can you  not love her? how can his father  not accept her? why do parents often  impose their dreams on their children as if some extension of their own unfinished, unfulfilled aspirations? if it is true that children are a gift from god, why do parents question what is natural to their children? how can parents abandon, hurt, despise, not accept, that which is a gift from the divine? indeed, kevin looks every inch divine.

even without her father's acceptance, kevin is tight hug loved. by her lgbt family and by the unjudging universe. kevin, we are proud of you! :) *sisterly hug*



Pinoy transgender crowned Miss International Queen

A 21-year-old transgender beauty from the Philippines — Kevin Balot — was crowned "Miss International Queen 2012" in Thailand's seaside resort Pattaya on Friday.

Miss International Queen is an annual beauty pageant for transgender people. It takes place annually since 2004 in Pattaya,in the Kingdom of Thailand. The pageant aims to create human rights awareness among international communities. The winner will receive the crown and also a 10,000 USD prize money and an apartment for a year in Pattaya. The election is organized by Tiffany's Show Pattaya Company

 One Filipino fan said that winning a transvestite contest in Thailand, the land of "lady boys," was like winning a soccer tournament in Brazil. An emotional Balot told reporters that she hoped the win would help her gain acceptance from her father.

"I'm very proud to be first here, and I hope my dad will accept me. Because in the family I'm the only boy, and my dad has big expectations of me. I made it. I won the International Queen Pageant, and I believe that my dad will accept me not only as his son but also as his daughter," she said.
Miss International Queen 2012: Kevin Balot (Philippines)
1st Runner up: Jessika Simoes (Brazil)
2nd Runner up: Panvilas Mongkol (Thailand)

Top 10

Philippines - Michelle Montecarlo
Philippines - Miriam Jimenez

Angola - Imanni da Silva
Japan - Beni Tukishima
Brazil - Bianca Gold
Guam - Matricia Mae Centino
United States - Sunny Dee-Lite

Special Awards
Best Evening Gown - Sunny Dee-Lite (United States)
Miss Photogenic - Kevin Balot (Philippines)
Miss Congeniality - Noah Herrera (Venezuela)
Miss National Costume - Yuki Tachibana (Japan)
The Angel Talent Competition - Beni Tukishima (Japan)
Miss Perfect Skin By Asoke Skin Hospital - Matricia Mae Centino (Guam)
Miss Ripley's Popular Vote - Stefania Cruz (Philippines)



Pinay lesbians at home in HK’s Statue Square

Sharing! :)


"Pinay lesbians at home in HK’s Statue Square"

By Isabel Escoda
Philippine Daily Inquirer
| October 7, 2012 at 12:40 am

Hong Kong may be a well-developed metropolis which touts itself as “Asia’s World City,” but it’s quite backward in one major way. Some members of the territory’s society consider homosexuality an aberration. One such person is tycoon Cecil Chao who, on finding that his daughter Gigi had married her longtime female partner in France (where same-sex marriages are allowed), publicly offered to pay a “talented” man $64 million to woo and “cure” his offspring of her lesbianism.

All this has recently been entertaining the Hong Kong public. Chao, who is 76, often appears in society pages squiring around various glamorous women and has produced a son with a Vietnamese-American model who later found that her marriage to him was a sham. Gigi Chao, 33, who has already received many marriage proposals from men around the world as a result of her father’s offer, views his antics with amused tolerance. But she obviously takes her marriage vows with her Chinese mate seriously.

Lately the Hong Kong government has been trying to change the local homophobic mindset by running public address announcements over radio and TV urging employers to hire job-seekers regardless of their sexual orientation. The Equal Opportunities Commission has called all discrimination unacceptable. But the older generation in this wealthy city seems stuck in 1950s mode.

Very much inhabiting 2012, Myrna and Connie are not a fictional Pinay couple (though their names are). They are flesh-and-blood young women who don’t advertise the fact of their lesbianism even though the community they live in knows them as a loving couple. Connie wears her hair in a severe crew-cut and dresses mannishly while Myrna sports long hair and feminine outfits. Working as domestics for a European couple, they are accepted and tolerated by their compatriots—as are a young Davaoeño and his middle-aged Belgian partner Pierre. Pablo stays home, gardens and travels around the world with Pierre who runs a trading firm. They enjoy throwing parties, and give a touch of class to the New Territories community they live in.

Though being bakla (or bayot in Visayan) in the Philippines is accepted and tolerated, the idea of same-sex marriage now gaining ground in the West is not and may never be, thanks to the Church and our own hidebound society. Nevertheless Pinay domestics with same-sex partners in Hong Kong are known and accepted as “asawa” to each other.

Homosexuality among Hongkongers has been quietly acknowledged for some years now, with sex between men decriminalized in 1994. Organizations dealing with the issue of lesbians, bisexuals, gays, and transgenders (LBGT) exist here, as in the West. Though conservative elements believe they are an unacceptable influence on young impressionable people, they are quietly tolerated. The practice of subjecting homosexuals to shock therapy in an attempt to “cure” them has been used in this former British colony, but one doesn’t hear of it often being done. Instead one hears of crackpot moves like Cecil Chao’s whose bizarre reaction to his daughter’s lesbianism involves throwing money at a problem to try and solve it, which is the typical Hong Kong way.

Hong Kong’s tourist draw at Statue Square is where one can find LBGTs among the territory’s Pinoy domestics relaxing on weekends.

With females being the majority of the migrant workers in the territory, it’s natural for lesbians to thrive among them, with only bigoted religious types praying for their repentance and “redemption.”

There are 10 Pinay lesbian associations. Some of the members may be needled by their “straight” colleagues and are sometimes gossiped about, but by and large most are accepted as free to do as they wish. Some are singers, dress designers, hairdressers, make-up artists, etc., who do not have hidden lives in “closets”—though they may, on visits back to the Philippines, cover up their unconventional relationships so as not to upset their relatives.

Pinay same-sex couples are no doubt astonished that anyone would offer a bounty to a male so as to “cure” a lesbian, as Mr Chao has done. Already labeled a moral hypocrite, that millionaire obviously believes homosexuality violates traditional Chinese values, while he himself has had no compunction in publicizing his sexual exploits with the opposite sex (obviously indulging in the old Chinese custom of concubinage). Many like him can claim that homosexuality is a Western import, and deny the fact that it has existed throughout the annals of Chinese history. But in a town where money rules, to ignore the universal human need for companionship, affection and love, as Cecil Chao has done, reveals a closed backward mind.

Source: http://m.inquirer.net/globalnation/?id=52114


I don't think I wouldn't be this happy and at peace with myself had I not learned to forgive. I've experienced extreme pain, suffering and wrongdoing from people who were supposed to love/take care of me. Several times, they broke my spirit and my heart. But while I had the strength to be angry, I also had a stronger will to move on. And have learned to let go of all things that won't help me become better. Easier said than done I know. But I am your assurance, it is possible. This is a power quote from me to you - "To forgive is to be free."

I just read the article below from the physical newspaper I bought from the market. See, PC is really busted, that I had to resort to a real news"paper". hehe.

This is a powerful piece to give you peace. Do read on :) And yes, am still blogging from my iPhone.


"Time doesn’t heal all wounds, so learn to forgive instead"

By Cathy Babao-Guballa
Philippine Daily Inquirer
| October 7, 2012 at 4:51 am

“It has been said, ‘Time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”—Rose Kennedy

At the start of the semester, there is one lesson that I try to drill into my student’s heads—the fallacy that time heals all wounds. Time doesn’t, I tell them. Rather, it is what we do with the time that heals the wounds.

Grieving, or healing, is a proactive process. You cannot just sulk in one corner, moan about your troubles and watch the world go by. That’s fine for a couple of months; one has to grieve one’s loss, after all.

But after a while, the light breaks into the crack of the wounded heart, and you realize that the world does not, and will not, stop for you. So you slowly reinvest, reorganize and rebuild a new life where the person who is now gone has left an empty space.

But does the pain ever go away? Does one become scarred for life?

If you are talking about the death of a child, a parent or a spouse, the pain will always be there, but it lessens as the years go by. But if it is there, it will always be there. Accept it, make it your friend and live with it.

As you become friends with that kind of pain, and channel whatever sadness you have into reaching out and helping others on a similar journey, then the pain finds a deeper meaning, a higher purpose.

Now, when we talk about broken relationships, such as friendships or romances, then this is where the forgiveness comes in. The pain of this kind of loss will never go away, or at the very least, be eased, if you are unable to forgive.

Frederick Luskin, director of Stanford University’s forgiveness project, says: “The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt, depression and stress, and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self-confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.”

In the website learningtoforgive.com, he outlines nine steps that may help people forgive.

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened, and be able to articulate what about the situation is not okay. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience. The operative word here is trusted, otherwise, you will just make the issue a bigger one than it already is.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you, and not for anyone else. For example, if you want to yell and scream, go someplace where you can shout without disrupting or alarming your neighbors or colleagues.

Inner peace
3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning his action. The bottom line is inner peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”

4. It’s all about perspective. Recognize what it is that is causing you pain now, and what offended you or hurt you two minutes—or 10 years—ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5. The moment you feel upset, practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight-or-fight response. I leave the room and put a physical distance between who or what it is that is upsetting me, and I take a walk around the block. Make the coping skill a healthy one. Binge-eating, drinking or shopping is not healthy.

6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Build your boundaries, and teach other people to respect them.

7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Don’t be a masochist. Replaying old hurts is never helpful.

8. Remember that a life well-lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.

9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive. You always have the power in your hands to create your own ending.

Many times in my life I’ve had to grapple with the issue of forgiveness and have found these nine steps to be very helpful on the journey to healing. But the years have taught me that it doesn’t end there.

The 10th and most powerful point— prayer—has always been the most effective for me. It is when I let Him step in and take over that the miracle begins. It’s been said that what God intended for us is always far better than what we can ever imagine. When I’ve done all I can, I give up the struggle and turn it over to Him and that is when He moves in my behalf, sometimes swiftly, and sometimes slowly.

Always, it is in His perfect time that we become healed, and only the scars of battle remain as a constant reminder of the struggle we went through and how His grace never leaves us where He first finds us.

Follow the author on Twitter @cathybabao or her blog www.storiesbykate.wordpress.com.

source: http://m.inquirer.net/lifestyle/?id=70288


My Spanish speaking good friend, who just cut her hair from waist-length to indecently short, marked 2014 as her and her partner's target to drop everything (career, family, etc) and move to France then tour the world (her partner is fluent in French). This, after her dad just survived a major illness.

Another good looking lez friend of mine from NY who also happens to sport short hair, has a butch couple friend who just got married and will similarly drop everything and travel the world next year.

Yesterday, I had snacks at Mary Grace in Greenbelt with a used-to-be-lez friend who just came back from guess where, France!

While all economic planners are saying the shift of power is moving from West to East, the seat of happiness and exploration is definitely in Europe.

My seat of happiness remains to be in the middle of my chest.

Make no mistake about it, I also long to travel the world, specially Europe. As a kid I've always said that Italy is my dream country. But after having journeyed life not geographically, but in the experience sense, I realized that what I do want really is to travel the paths of my heart as it intersects with the flow of other people's heart.

I'd like to take things slower, absorb things and not just scan them. I don't like to just dip or tiptoe. I want to immerse. I'd like to take gardening, paint more, take photos, get lost in reading, experiment without fear, talk to people with interest and curiosity, share, teach. Write what's filling my senses. Traveling can be part of that, but not required. I'd want time for myself, not bounded by the 8-5 range and deadlines. I want to be free. And I want to be fearless.


ako ay Leslie

heard this song since last year i think. but never got to check who sang it. i found it amusing and interesting.  a known all-male band singing about lesbians. neat. i guess lesbians are becoming mainstream :) cheers to us! :)



Buhay Sirena

pagkat tayo ay mga sirena (mermaid). lumalangoy sa dagat ng panghuhusga, nalulunod sa mga pangamba, nilulunod ng mga hindi nakakaunawa. pero pilit umaahon para sa sarili at sa iba. salamat Gloc-9 at Ebe  Dancel


originally saw the video at http://chicogarcia.wordpress.com/


the Leap that Lifts

i had to pause for a moment to let it all sink. a friend of mine made The LEAP. literally and figuratively. at first, i replied to the news like any good news. but after sending my reply email, the magnitude of what they did, slowly sunk in my busy head. in between projects and timelines, mygawd! THEY DID IT! a lesbian i personally know really, legally, got married! W-O-W! overwhelming. geez. am losing my mind. wait, lemme pick up my scattered brain. she was kind enough to email me about it for I haven't checked fb in a loong while. =)

theirs was a decade-long life of love and all the challenges that go with relationships. they're both amazing, talented, smart, cool, and beautiful. how good can it get right? I only have one selfish thought, that I could also have what they have. =)

when I saw their private wedding pictures, i was awashed with tears and joy.  no eloquence of big, flowery words needed. they are happy.

*boo-hoo! sniff. sniff. here I go again, crying and emotional, like am the parent who gave away the bride. Haha*


no romantic movie can beat this. because this one's real. and legit. i cannot stress it enough. two wonderful filipino womyn i know got legally married to each other. the world suddenly feels right. and i am happy. =)

theirs also go with a cool soundtrack =)

*i have peppered this post with smileys if you notice. 
happiness cannot be contained. 
it bursts!*

Thank You for the Inspiration! =)


sex talk

saw this article in twitter just now =) bottomline, practice makes perfect. tee-hee! a smart, good looking lez friend of mine once said, "nobody knows your body more than your partner". totally agree! :) may we always have not just good, but great sex! cheers! :)

Good Sex Versus Bad Sex

Feb. 16, 2012
Did you have sex in high school? If you didn’t, you really should’ve because it was sort of amazing. It’s the worst sex you’ll ever have without knowing it. Like someone could actually just ram their tongue in your bellybutton for an hour and eat the lint, and you’d just be like, “Oh my god, my body is trembling with pleasure! This is so experimental and hideously kinky! WHERE’S THE WHIPPED CREAM? CAN I EAT THIS WAFFLE OFF YOUR PUBIC HAIR NEXT?! I saw it in that movie 9 and 1/2 Weeks...” Ignorance is seriously bliss, you guys. Since you have nothing to compare it to, everything feels fantastic and Kama Sutra-y. You want to be Samantha Jones from Sex and the City talking about your sex life all blasé in the high school cafeteria. “Yeah, we’ve done anal. I mean, we’re just really free, you know?” You honestly believe that the sex you’re having is fantastic and daring and adventurous when, in reality, it’s strange, painful, and often lasts the duration of a Ramones song.

Bad sex doesn’t become Bad Sex until you’ve actually had good sex. In fact, you could live your entire life thinking you were having the most mind-blowing sex until you meet someone who actually knows what they’re doing, and then you’re like “Oh, JK.” Sometimes good sex can be a curse though because when it gets taken away from you — and it always does — you’ll forever know its truest potential. You’ll no longer be satisfied by a couple of thrusts and a colorful O face. You’ve been touched by an angel and now you have to wait until the next one comes along. Hint: You might be waiting a long time. Like imagine yourself waiting in the ER with no healthcare next to a man with a gunshot wound who’s already been there for four hours. You might want to just take home this guy with the man bun in the meantime.

All of this being said, do you ever get paranoid that you’ve been having tons of bad sex without knowing it? How do you know if you haven’t found the peanut butter to your sex jelly yet? People always talk about sex as either being terrible or amazing but what I’ve found in my own experience is that a lot of is unremarkable. I’ve dated people for long stretches of time and when it ends, I can’t remember what the sex was like for the life of me. The go-to descriptive word is always “nice.” The sex is nice. Um, you know what’s nice? Puppies, Ellen Degeneres, Unitarians, your friend’s mom, 75 degree weather, a hug from an orphan. Sex shouldn’t be just nice, right?

There’s something sweet about all the bad sex you have in the beginning. There’s no judgment. You might be ultra vulnerable but you’re protected by your partner’s own ignorance. If something doesn’t feel perfect or if things are awkward, it’s okay because you’re young and this is just the starting point. No expectations here! You just want to explore someone’s body and have them let you do things to it. It doesn’t stay this way, of course. With every new person you sleep with, it gets to be more noisy. Bad sex is bad sex, good sex is good sex. The definitions have been made and set in stone. You have a checklist that needs checking off. There’s something so… clinical and disheartening about it. In some ways, I wish every time could feel like the first time. I mean, except it would be longer, nicer, and no one would have Cheeto breath.
TC mark
Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/good-sex-versus-bad-sex/#WwgsZkZ52YdjhIFF.99

Straightening effort for £40M

truth is indeed stranger than fiction. and love, well, it's priceless. =)

£40M for any man who can turn my gay daughter straight: Father's shock offer after lesbian wedding ceremony

By Mail Foreign Service

As a billionaire playboy who claims to have bedded 10,000 women, Cecil Chao has no doubts about his own sexuality.

Now he is trying to dictate the sexuality of his children too.

The 76-year-old property and shipping tycoon is offering a £40million ‘marriage bounty’ to any man who can win the heart of his lesbian daughter – and turn her straight.

Refusing to accept the gay union, he pledged the fortune to any potential male suitor able to walk 33-year-old Gigi Chao down the aisle at a traditional wedding.

The famously promiscuous Hong Kong businessman dismissed ‘false reports’ of his daughter’s lesbian nuptials and insisted she was still single.

‘I don’t mind whether he is rich or poor – the important thing is that he is generous and kind hearted,’ he said of the ideal husband for his daughter.

‘Gigi is a very good woman with both talents and looks. She is devoted to her parents, is generous and does volunteer work,’ he told the South China Morning Post.

Same-sex marriages are not recognised in Hong Kong.

According to reports, the spat between Mr Chao and his daughter erupted last week when she announced at an event in Beijing that she tied the knot with her long-term lover, Sean Eav, five months ago. A regular on the city’s social circuit and in celebrity magazines, Mr Chao has never been married. Gigi is the oldest of his three children with three mothers. 


In addition to the dowry, he has also offered to start his potential son-in-law up in his own business.
He said the prize money was ‘an inducement to attract someone who has the talent, but not the capital, to start his own business’.

According to the BBC, Miss Chao said she found her father’s plan ‘entertaining’ and wouldn’t give it too much thought until an actual suitor had been found.

Miss Chao graduated from University of Manchester in 1999 with a degree in architecture. She went on to work for two years with prominent British architect Sir Terry Farrell.

source here.


Aiza Seguerra @ 25

no, aiza is not 25 yrs old.
nope, the ticket price is not 25k nor 25cents.
25 gfs? uhm, could be. or even more!
25 is what used to be her waistline. hehe.
not sure though if her eye glasses grade is 25.
tried counting, but no, her tatts to date are below 25.
over 25 films to her belt.
less 25 piercings.

a woman of successful reinvention!
child superstar to laos on her awkkward age to fine arts student to music student to award winning ballad singer to lesbian to acoustic singer to gf to chen to singing contest judge to protege mentor to mentor-gf to krizza to record producer. WOW! the possibilities and realities to aiza is endless!

25. bente singko.

this will be the biggest lez gathering at Araneta Center! :) we shouldn't miss this! our dearest, most loved and  most popular OUT pinay lesbian will sing for us. i guarantee that you will fall in love again or fall deeper in love after this concert =)

let us support! =)
BENTE SINGKO: Aiza Seguerra Anniversary Concert

At the exceptional young age of 28, Aiza Seguerra has already shared with us 25 years of musical and artistic craftsmanship.
From her young career as Vic Sotto’s daughter in Okey Ka Fairy Ko and more than 30 movies, the former child star has blossomed into one of the country’s most respected acoustic singer-songwriters and guitarist with hits such as "Pagdating ng Panahon" and "Akala Mo."
Aiza wishes to share her gratitude for her silver milestone with BENTE SINGKO: Aiza Seguerra Anniversary Concert on September 28 at the Smart Araneta Coliseum, a production from Blackbird Music Creations, That’s Ntertainment Productions and line produced by MediaNation Inc.
To celebrate Aiza’s stellar career, Mr. Pure Energy Gary Valenciano and Concert King Martin Nievera will join the silver anniversary concert as the major acts. Their enduring ballads will fill the Coliseum with energy and passion.
Aiza’s role as mentor in the show Protégé: The Battle for the Big Break has led to the development of the grand winner Krizza Neri who will join the night as a special guest. The Company will serenade the night with hits such as "Pakisabi na Lang," a song Aiza has also popularized in radio stations.
Fellow ASAP Sessionistas Juris, Richard Poon, Princess and Nyoy Volante, will also join Aiza for this big night. Gloc 9, Bayang Barrios and Cooky Chua of Color It Redd will complete the night with their own distinct brand of music.
The ABS-CBN Philharmonic Orchestra will provide musical depth to the evening under the guidance of accomplished conductor Gerard Salonga. Mike Villegas and Ria Osorio will be the musical directors.
Reservations can now be made for the ticket prices below. Please call Tel. No. 234-2117 for ticket inquiries.
Ticket Prices:
VIP P3,500 | Patron P3,000 | LowerBoxP2,500 |
Upper Box A P750 | Upper Box B P400 |
General Admission P300

article source here


Aiza Seguerra promises nonstop singing, good vibes

We all saw how Aiza Seguerra morphed from an adorable child wonder into a talented singer-songwriter. We salute her for being brave enough to show her true colors. It’s not an easy thing to admit you’re gay, especially in the cruel world of show biz.

It’s been 25 years since Aiza charmed her way into our hearts. To celebrate her silver milestone, she’s having an anniversary concert aptly dubbed “Bente Singko” on Sept. 28 at the Smart Araneta Coliseum (call 9115555).

Bravo, Aiza! You’re living proof that talent knows no gender.

What can fans expect from your anniversary concert?
Nonstop singing, good vibes.

What was the hardest part of growing up as a child superstar?
The not-growing-up part (literally). I enjoyed every bit of it, even if my childhood was somewhat different from other kids.

Which is your fave song among all your compositions?
I have several favorites—“Lupang Pinangako,” even if it’s not a hit; “’Di Lang Ikaw,” which I cowrote with Juris, and “Kung Malalaman Mo,” written by Ryan Cayabyab and I for Krizza Neri.

What’s your advice to gays who are afraid to come out of the closet?Be ready because it’s not easy. People will either accept you or not. That’s why you should learn how to love yourself; people may distance themselves from you if they can’t understand why you’re gay.

What song best describes the state of your heart right now?
“A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri.

What’s your guilty pleasure?
Video games.

What’s on your bucket list?
To skydive. And to dive in all the best dive spots in the world.

What kind of lover are you?
I give my all, but I’m no martyr.

What’s your message to your future self and to your former self?
To my future self, just keep enjoying life! To my former self, heads up: Sorry, you’re not going to grow any taller.

source here.


Train Crush 21 - Revisited

Remember Train Crush 21? Well, a reader, mistook me for another blogger and gave this comment -
Anonymous said...

Hello Lara,

I've been reading your blog for about 7 years now. I came across your Train Crush 21 post just now and just so you know, I know that girl in the picture! Her name is Xiomara 'Mara' Chang. Her family lives in (yes, 'inside') the Chinese cemetery in Caloocan. She does part-time modeling.


Best regards,

**first off, am not Lara. she is another blogger who uses the nick firewomyn. I didn't know of her until a girl did the same mistaken identity to me. that girl later became my gf, and ex, and introduced me to the other firewomyn. neat yeah? her blog is this: firewomyn.tumblr.com**

Serenity then REVEALED (last year I think) that Train Crush 21 is actually a real model! GASP! Surreal i know! 

So before I post new train crushes, let me indulge in revisiting Train Crush 21, aka Xiomara.

B-E-H-O-L-D !!!!!


part of me just died

Let us pause for a moment and pray for the repose of my toes. I wore my 5k worth of new stilettos today and they crushed my pedicured toes to death! I don't understand. I tested the shoes and they were comfy, yet when I wore them and walked on pavements and used it for a good nine hours, it felt like I hired a toe killer for a fee of 5k. 

Did I mention I also ran in them because my guy ofcmates decided to just walk back to the office from lunch while it's drizzling?! Of course am such a trooper that I just endured it all. Now am convinced "killer heels" isn't just a metaphor. And this also puts a whole new meaning to the statement, "part of me just died". I think this is what people call nowadays, tiis-ganda!   groans. 


Queer Manila Exhibit in Makati today at 3pm

When: August 25, 3pm.
Where: Manila Contemporary, Whitespace, 2314 Chino Roces Ave Extension (formerly Pasong Tamo extension, Brgy Magallanes, Makati City.

RSVP Iris Ferrer 632 576 5024. 
email: i.ferrer@manilacontemporary.com.

Queer Manila attempts to create a visual discussion around gender and sexuality within local contexts and internationalised LGBT discourse. It explores the understandings, misunderstandings, conflicts, humours, loves, eroticisms, deviances, spectacles, and dilemmas within Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Transgender identities.

Identity and gender have always been in processes of flux, subjected to numerous influences and social behaviours that change over time, creating different sites for cultures, politics, psychologies, spiritualities and biologies to define who we are. The show, therefore, is about activating and including multiple audiences in a visual conversation about how we look, exchange ideas and comment on gender and sexuality within LGBT communities. It is about processes of othering and reclaiming, through contemporary art’s ability to share, question, and develop these identities. As such, artists have been invited to contribute personal stories, as well as comment on the notion of body politics, activism and culture across generations through various media.

To compliment the exhibition and diversify this conversation, a programme of performances, films, talks and events has been organised that will take place in the gallery over the duration of the exhibition. For a summary of this program, see the schedule below:

25 August, 2-9PM
Performances by Maya Munoz in collaboration with Julie Tolentino, Jef Carnay and Martin Lorenzo de Mesa, with a poetry reading by Danton Remoto, Chairman Emeritus of Ang Ladlad

FILM PROGRAMME (Upstairs Gallery)
Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (2005)
Directed by Aureus Solito and written by Michiko Yamamoto. Produced by UFO Pictures.
September 9 and 16, 1PM

Zombadings (2011)
Directed by Jade Castro, also co-written with Raymond Lee, Michiko Yamamoto.
September 9 and 16, 3PM

Book signing by J. Neil C. Garcia (Editor) of “Aura”: The Gay Theme in Philippine Fiction in English
A collection of gay-themed short stories and novel excerpts from Philippine fictionists in English. Featuring the works of Jose Garcia Villa, Bienvenido N. Santos, NVM Gonzalez, Nick Joaquin, and Edith L. Tiempo etc.

September 1, 5PM

Talk by Enzo Camacho + Amy Lien
Sharing their processes as creative partners and performers
September 8, 12NN

Hubad: Mga Kwento ng Kalayaan
Guerilla theater event by LeAP! (Lesbian Activists Philippines)
September 15

This exhibition is in kind collaboration with:
Ang Ladlad (https://www.facebook.com/LadladPartyListOfficial)
LeAP! (https://www.facebook.com/LeAPPhilippines)
Origin8 Media (http://www.origin8media.com/)

source here.


Oral Sex Risks!!!

scary! BUT but better to be safe than sorry. take pap smear, hpv tests, consult a trustworthy gynecologist, if you or your partner had multiple sex partners already. being on a girl-to-girl sexual relation DOESN'T guarantee we are free from STD. if you love your partner, you will get tested and ensure she's safe and protected.

CDC Warns That Oral Sex Is Still Risky: How Queers Who Like Vaginas Can Keep Them Safe


"... teens and young adults have more oral sex than vaginal intercourse (as we mentioned in the NSFW Sunday). According to the report, this discrepancy is a result of a desire to maintain virginity, avoid pregnancy and avoid risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. But the CDC notes that because young people perceive oral sex as a risk-free behavior,  they are "placing themselves at risk of STIs or HIV before they are ever at risk of pregnancy."

Saliva does not carry HIV, but your mouth is a mucous membrane, and according to Gay Men's Health, "cells in the mucous lining of the mouth may carry HIV into the lymph nodes or the bloodstream." Clark-Flory writes that while HIV may be people's biggest fear, it's actually easier to transmit herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis and HPV. Less risky but still possible are Hepatitis A, gastrointestinal infections, and parasites.

health risks associated with oral sex are extremely relevant to the interests of the queer community. It seems that in general, blow jobs are riskier than cunnilingus, but according to Professor Christopher Hurt of the Division of Infectious Diseases at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, you are just as likely to contract syphilis, herpes, or HPV from a vagina as from a penis, “Since these infections can occur both inside the vagina and on the skin surface.” So queers, please take note: being on a vagina-only diet does not a risk-free lifestyle make.

 ... an important thing to keep in mind when you are deciding whether or not to use protection with a partner. What we can take from this study is that a queer person who encounters penises in their mouth is more likely in general to have contracted an STI than a queer person who doesn't. So if you or your partner fits this description, you might consider taking an extra measure of protection. And if you have multiple partners, it's even more important, because your risk increases with every additional person you add to your sexual network.

If you don't use protection with your partner, you are what is known as "fluid-bonded." This means that you have agreed to share your bodily fluids with each other. And with that agreement, much like the power to shoot webs from your hands, comes great responsibility. You should definitely get tested before doing so — if you don't have health insurance, get on the internet and find your nearest free health clinic. If you're in college, your health center should provide testing services. It's possible to be fluid-bonded to one person while having multiple partners whom you are not fluid-bonded to, but you have an obligation to your fluid-bonded partner to use protection with everyone else. The key here is going to be communication. It's not really fair to the people you are having sex with to have secrets that could put them at risk."

source and full story here


Ang Ikaklit sa Aming Hardin , lez-themed kiddie book is OUT!

remember this post about the first ever children story in the Philippines with lesbian parents in the characters and the theme? many of you expressed that you want to buy once available. well, happy news! the book is OUT! *buti pa sya. ako kaya kelan. hehe.* 

Ang Ikaklit sa Aming Hardin


Ang karaniwang pakahulugan sa pamilya ay yaong binubuo ng ama, ina, at mga anak, na nananahan nang sama-sama. Ito ang namamayaning depinisyon at kalakhan sa atin ay dito namulat kung kaya nagmimistulang ito lamang ang natatanging imahen ng pamilya na dapat sundin. Gayumpaman, hindi maitatanggi ang pag-iral ng iba pang anyo ng pamilya na labas sa depinisyong ito. Mayroong mga pamilyang isa lang ang tumatayong magulang, may mga anak na nagmula sa ibang magulang, mayroon din namang mga batang dalawa ang nanay o tatay, may mga pamilyang malayo sa isa’t isa, at iba pa. Patunay ang mga ito ng pangangailangang magluwal ng mas masaklaw na kahulugan ng pamilya. Isang depinisyong hindi nakatali sa larawang nakasanayan bagkus ay tumatanaw sa esensiya ng isang tahanang mapagkalinga, mapang-unawa, at ginagabayan ng pagmamahal.

Maraming anyo ang pamilya. Tulad ng mga bulaklak sa isang halamanan, mayroon itong iba’t ibang itsura, kulay, bango, at laki. Sapagkat ang anumang uri ng pagsasamang nakasandig sa pag-ibig ay dapat kilalanin bilang pamilya. Isa rito ang kuwento ni Ikaklit. Bagaman iba sa trasdisyunal, maituturing na pamilya ang samahang bumibigkis sa kaniya at sa dalawa niyang ina. 

Available  in the following bookshops:

#114 Timog Ave., Quezon City
(632) 927-7060 | 927-7061 | 927-7062

#305 Tomas Morato Avenue, Quezon City
(632) 372-2162

E. de los Santos Street
UP Campus Diliman, Quezon City
(632) 926-6642

Casa Vallejo, Upper Session Rd., Baguio City
(074) 424-4437
(Simula Agosto 26, 2012)

You can also email publikasyong.twamkittens@gmail.com to get a copy of the book, "Ang Ikaklit sa Aming Hardin."

Book launch is on 
September 13, 2012, 3:00-5:00pm, 
Claro M. Recto Hall, College of Arts & Literature 
UP Diliman. 

EVERYONE's invited! :)

Det Neri, author


Two women Tie the Knot in Taiwan

while i was busy with my work turnover, THIS happened. =) as the Dutch proverb says, "When a door closes, a window opens." For their case, even though there is no same sex marriage law yet, who says they can't get married if they want to?! truly! LOVE FINDS A WAY. tayo nang magbakasyon sa Taiwan! *let's go visit Taiwan!*

 "We decided to get married last year," Huang told Agence France Presse July 11, 2012.
“After being together for six years, we feel we need to make a life-long commitment to each other.”

and they did!

Lesbian couple celebrate Taiwan's first Buddhist same-sex  wedding

TAOYUAN, Taiwan – Two women tied the knot on Saturday, August 11, in Taiwan’s first same-sex Buddhist wedding, a move rights groups hope will help make the island become the first place in Asia to legalize gay marriage.

Fish Huang and You Ya-ting , who have been together for seven years, exchanged vow and prayer beads instead of rings at a monastery in Taoyuan, northern Taiwan, accompanied by chants from nearly 300 Buddhists.

Shih Chao-hwei, a Buddhist master and university professor, offered to perform the ceremony herself after the couple approached her to ask if their faith condemned homosexuality.

“We are witnessing history. The two women are willing to stand out and fight for their fate… to overcome social discrimination,” said Shih, a well-known advocate for social justice.

You Ya-ting, left, and her partner Huang Mei-yu stamp their names in front of a statue of Buddha in the prayer hall as they are married in the first Taiwan same sex Buddhist ceremonial wedding in Taoyuan, Taiwan, Saturday, Aug. 11, 2012. Taiwan still does not legally recognize same sex marriage.


“Some people might find it astounding [a woman performing the ceremony] but Buddhism does not engage in ideological struggles and I am used to strange looks from my own experience in the social movement,” she said.

 colorful as their love :)

The couple’s parents were notably absent from the ceremony, in an indication of the pressure facing some homosexuals and their families.

“Our parents initially agreed to attend and they regret that they couldn’t be here. We understand that people have different acceptance of media exposure and we want to give them more space,” Huang said shortly before the wedding.

“We hope with the master’s support, the wedding will change many people’s perspective even though it is not legally binding,” said the social worker. “We hope the government can legalise same-sex marriage soon.”
Taiwan is one of the most culturally liberal societies in East Asia, and gay and lesbian groups have been urging the government for years to make same-sex unions legal.

Aiming to create awareness about the issue, about 80 lesbian couples tied the knot last year in Taiwan’s biggest same-sex wedding party, attracting about 1,000 friends, relatives and curious onlookers.

Fish Huang told the Taipei Times last month: 'We are not only doing it for ourselves, but also for other gays and lesbians.'


The first public gay marriage in Taiwan took place in 1996 but this is the first known Buddhist wedding.

Gay rights groups are pushing for President Ma Ying-jeou to legislate for same-sex marriage and to allow gay couples to adopt before his term ends in 2016.