equality is next to holiness

Two flicks to see this week. i know holy week is about abstinence. and watching the two on my end is far from sacrifice. but i feel the divine presence given the timing of the screening of these two lgbt flicks. because i can feel abstinence from prejudice from mass media this holy week. equality is next to holiness =)

1. Butch - GMA 7's SRO Cinema -
excellently played by sunshine dizon. this will be shown on thursday,around 9-10pm. the story i think is about a butch raising a child as her own, after the child was abandoned by the biological mother. years later, the bio mom will claim the child and the butch mom will fight for her right as mother to the child. this surely will be intense. sunshine won a best actress award for her portrayal here sometime 2008 or 2009 i think. i failed to watch it then. so i'm blessed to see its replay this week! =) let's support this one as lesbian films/tv shows in philippine cinema comes as rare as unicorn sightings.

this is her second time to play a butch role. first one was in the film Sabel, opposite judy ann santos, where sunshine played the role of butch doctor from baguio and who saves Sabel.

she is the only contemporary female actress i know who can effectively play the butch role. who is believable. i secretly wished she truly is gay, but alas! she just got married recently, to a guy. ohwell. hope she continues to be gay-friendly.

2. I Love You Phillip Morris - see link here in my old post of it for the film details. this is now showing in SM cinemas. will try to catch it tomorrow as i've been waiting for this since last year.


Let Us

i continue to have doubts once in a while, the skeptic that i am. not the one to adhere to the notion of forever. the one who's impulsive, impatient, falls in easily and falls out as fast. highly analytical yet very temperamental. always with great expectations (if i may borrow from charles dickens). and so in spite of myself, you remain to be my biggest irony. come and ...

Let's Just Fall In Love Again
Let's pretend baby
That you've just met me
And I've never seen you before
I'll tell all my friends
That I think you're staring
And you say the same to yours

And oh, we'll dance around it all night
And then I'll follow you outside
And try to open up my mouth
And nothing comes out right

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
It's so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because it's so funny
Let's just think about it, honey
Let's just fall in love again

I'll call you in three days
Not too soon, not too late
And I'll ask your roommate if you're home
You call me on Thursday
And we'll hang out all day
Then fall asleep on the phone

And oh, I'll hold your hand when we drive
And we'll lose track of all the time
And we'll tell everyone
That we ain't never felt so alive

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
It's so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because it's so funny
Let's just think about it, honey
Let's just fall in love again

We'll fall disgustingly fast
And we'll stop hanging out with friends
And they'll be so offended

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
It's so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because it's so funny
Let's just think about it, honey
Let's just fall in love again
Let's just fall in love again


Constance McMillen - lesbian teen with a stance!

not sure if you've been abreast with how proms are done these days. well, not to my surprise, but largely to my dismay, not much has changed, until Constance took a stand.

she requested if she can wear a tuxedo and bring her gf as date. to which the school of Mississippi said NO. We say foul!

so American Civil Liberties Union was kind enough to sue the school (Itawamba County school) and required them to allow Constance her right.

the school not to be outsmart just like that, decided to cancel the prom altogether. Boo!

the teenagers partly blamed poor Constance of what happened.

the court proceeding is ongoing. see the update here: Judge hears lesbian teen's suit to force prom


"All I wanted was the same chance to enjoy my prom night like any other student," McMillen said in a statement last week. "But my school would rather hurt all the students than treat everyone fairly. This isn't just about me and my rights anymore - now I'm fighting for the right of all the students at my school to have our prom."


let's Support Constance, be a fan of her facebook page

celesbians are all out in their support too!

Wanda Sykes invited Constance and her girlfriend to attend the GLAAD awards.
Chef Cat Cora (herself a Mississippi native) issued a statement and offered to make an appearance at prom.
Ellen DeGeneres guested Constance on her show and donated $30k for her scholarship.


boss from hell vs firewomyn

it's monday! how best to start the week but thru my regular dose of abuse from no other than boss from hell. :)

what was i thinking actually having a fantasy on big boss and her big boobs from my day one of work?? i mean seriously, how can i not see beyond that bosom. that the body to which those wonderful breasts are attached to is from the devil. nope, not the classy type who wears brands the likes of prada. it's the devil with cheap taste. ugh.

for today, i must have done something interesting because her voice was a notch higher when she directed to me her profanities and words meant to belittle me.

"you should change your title from project manager to project leader instead!" looking all mad and smug.

err was that a compliment laced with insult? or a downright insult? because she's boss from hell, it sure was meant to be an insult.

but since she's not as articulate as i am, and not a graduate of UP, she actually made the insult mean the opposite without her realizing it.

c'mon, aren't leaders socially/politically above managers? puh-lease. can't that particular boss from hell do better than that? hay, such a waste of my time.

i don't know what got into me today, but instead of my usual acquiescent self, i found the voice to rebut and fight her every argument tooth and nail. of course all delivered with calculated poise. the rest of the meeting attendees surely hate me now for dragging the meeting longer than necessary. but i won't let that boss from hell stomp on me like that.

after that heated debate (felt like that) in her office room, i'm twisted whether to report to my supervisor that i felt violated by her downward/far from constructive demeanor against me. no one that i know of actually went against the boss almighty.

if i report her, my supervisor might not even escalate and just tell me i'm being sensitive.

if i report her, my supervisor will tell big boss from hell, and i will get hell's fury most definitely!

if i report her, boss from hell will be forced to talk to me and i will be forced to fake listening to her. and we will be forced to fake a truce. the feeling of disgust is obviously mutual.

if i report her, i will from then on have a bull's eye target on my back for the next sack. one mistake and boom! i'm out!

gosh, can't she just die tomorrow so i won't need to report her? can't it be easy for me for once please?

i take comfort in the fact that we're of opposing teams and if she's from hell, then i must have heaven on my side. hah! beat that!


experience extraordinaire

a week ago before my birthday, i had this epiphany. i would celebrate my birthday somewhere in between art and nature.

on tuesday, my birthday, after the train ride (from Train of Thoughts), it lead me to Harbour Square. A place in between CCP and Manila Bay. So what's in between art and nature? People. Can also be commercialism. =)

Donned in my black sleeveless shirt, worn out low-waist faded gray canvas pants (been with me for like 4-6yrs already) with rips to booth, purple nails and slippers, i settled at a resto with empty chairs and table outside.

this is what i want to have on my birthday, peace and quiet, alone to enjoy my fave book of the moment, with a taste of something sweet and what-not, with sunlight and subtle breeze and multi-cultural sight of people.

i felt alive, inspired. i felt totally happy birthday. cheers to my day! =)

Train of Thoughts

Thoughts that trailed off as I make "tunganga" during my afternoon train ride en route to somewhere.

The single-minded sunlight
crashing thru the window train,
imprinting my skin.
No barrier hindered
the rays from meeting me.
It is as if its only mission
is to just see me
and touch me
and never leave me.
My pores, in open embrace,
they accepted it.
Never minding that
they've been waiting
long before the other realized
it needs to be here.

Gay Marriage now Legal in D.C.

D.C. Joins Five States in Legalizing Gay Marriage

by Mike Krumboltz

Gay marriage continues to be a hot-button issue for many Americans. Whenever it's legalized (or banned) anywhere in the world, searches immediately soar. In Washington, D.C., gay marriage was recently legalized, sparking tremendous Web interest.

A lesbian couple who had been together for 12 years became the first same-sex couple to be married in the nation's capital. With the couple's union, Washington, D.C. joined New Hampshire, Vermont, Iowa, Massachusetts, and Connecticut, as the only places in the United States that allow people of the same sex to legally marry.

Of course, gay marriage is a specific definition. When things are broadened to include domestic partnerships or civil unions, the list of states grows substantially. According to About.com, California, Hawaii, Maine, Washington state, Nevada, Oregon, and New Jersey allow same-sex couples to "obtain some legal recognition for their relationships."

Interestingly, according to NJ.com, the upcoming United States census will allow same-sex couples in New Jersey to "identify themselves as married." This is significant in that the census is an official government document. The census will allow "same-sex couples [to] label themselves as husband or wife even if their relationships are not recognized by law."

While laws regarding gay marriage vary by state in the United States, other countries have clearer definitions. For example, in Europe, several countries have clear legal-marriage laws. According to an article from the BBC, the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Norway, and Sweden all have legalized gay marriage. Additionally, Portugal, a primarily Catholic country, is expected to legalize gay marriage in the near future. Other countries that have done the same include Canada and South Africa.

As for where gay marriage is banned, the list is a bit longer, at least in the United States. The laws are complicated and can vary between statute bans and constitutional bans. States that have constitutional bans include, but are not limited to, Florida, Ohio, Texas, Utah, Michigan, Virginia, Mississippi, and Georgia. User-edited site Wikipedia offers up a complete list.

After Washington, D.C., legalized same-sex marriage, Web searches on "gay marriage states" and "where is gay marriage legal" both soared. Also gaining traction in the Search box: "differences between gay marriage and civil unions."

source: Y! Buzz

Related articles:
Same-sex couples in D.C. say 'I do'

D.C. same-sex marriage law takes effect this week

State By State: The Legal Battle Over Gay Marriage

Sweden allows same-sex marriage

Same-sex marriage law backed in Portugal's parliament

Same-sex marriage status in the United States by state



sabi nila, life is not to be taken too seriously. if you can't fix its entirety, find humor in it at least.

maybe if we sum up all the little joys they'd amount to happiness.

i'm never good in math, and patience (with visions, long term), so i won't worry about them that much and just savor each joyous moment as they hit me.

in between, sadness, disappointments will try to knock off the small joy prettily perched on my heart.

heart will try to hold on to the joy, but sometimes (or was it often?), fatigue will pull me down and make me loosen my grip to joy.

and she'll have no choice but to fly away leaving sadness & disappointment clawed to my heart, sometimes too deep that i would hurt and may even bleed.

nothing is permanent.

sadness & disappointment will get bored and shoo away in search probably of their next victim.

joy that had to fly away is just hovering above and i was just not looking up because i'm feeling way down and heavy.

joy will fly back and visit me again, specially when heart is empty.

she'll tentatively hop on my heart and ask me "how are you?"

heart would tighten with pain and then cry, howl, letting it out, all to mean that nothing is okay.

joy will face me, cup my heart and hug it.

will whisper "hush now baby, i'm here".

and i will be alright. :)


Train Crush2

there's beauty in the train madness this morning. :)

she stood out literally because she's very tall. and how can anyone miss that pretty snobbish (very well entitled to it) womyn? she's beautiful, what more if she smiled right? :)

hay, another sweet ride, even though i just stood the whole time.


the tale of going home early

maaga ako pumasok sa office. syempre, gusto ko maaga din umuwi. i came in 45min earlier, cut short my lunch break by 30min, took dynamo vits to pump me for a grueling monday. ate my breakfast while working, as in rice and ulam ha. hehe. soo construction worker of me. i did my pareto list (Pareto principle: focusng on the top 20% of the causes will fix 80% of the problems) so that i expend effort on where it's most needed. needless to say, i'm all geared up to go home early. target: 5:30pm.

i can stand tons of work except for two things: long meetings (anything beyond 30min) and menial/manual work.

for the most part i feel meetings beyond 30min is a waste of my valuable time. so i always bring my planner/notebook, fake attention and do work while in a meeting. before, i bring my laptop but others get bothered by it or was i too obvious in doing something else then? anyhoo, notebook/planner is more discreet. i attempted in the past to put order in the meeting i attend by asking for an agenda and butting in if people digress. but that show of aggression/assertion earned me the ire of the almighty bosses. so i kept it to myself. later they brought it up to me that i don't speak that much in meetings anymore. so i said, there is nothing to say, there's no agenda, many topics don't concern me. my boss said, if i want order in meetings, i can gather the topics and come up with the agenda. yeah right! your idea, your work! that's how it freakin operates. i did that but people always say they don't have anything new to raise, come meetings, topics just mushroomed as if somebody peed on the carpet. fast forward, i stopped caring. i'm in it for the money and i make sure my ass is covered.

menial work. coming from a web development background, i was appalled to learn that people in the office live by thru excel formulas and macros. wtf?! is this the roaring 90s? geez. i mean, there are far more sophisticated ways to do things. the other side of it is that i know no excel macros. never found the need to do so when i have the web server and visual studio at my fingertips. but as devolution goes, i had to retro-adapt. those excel spreadsheets are connected to another manual hell, portal with excel-looking tables (sharepoint sites) that crawls the pace of snail.

i get bitch fits every time network is slow, because i get suffocated with slow connection. i think i can really have hypertension attack caused not by slow oxygen flow in the brain, but due to slow network bandwidth to my laptop.

we have this tool in the office. it would have been grand if it automated atleast 50% of the work, but it only did 20% i think. so at the end of the day, my fingers crackle due to too much typing/clicks out of agonizing labor.

those two things weaken me. so i would avoid them if i can. for today though, no escape. i had two meetings that started late. grrr! while i plan my day carefully, others don't. not only were they late, meetings went overtime. the big boss doing her usual rants and usual monologue of woes. as if i care or even listening.

no use bitching about the things i can't control so i just let my pareto list lead my day. salvation. :)

brownout happened around 4pm, not perturbed was almost done by then. and was just waiting for updates from other people for my status reports. however dependencies limit my actions and 5:30 became 6pm. not bad still.

i went out of the building with the sun still out. it felt like eye-squinting brightness. i imagine my skin would burn ala-vamp. everything felt surreal. surreal, but happy. honest day's work completed as planned.

hey, i can get used to this. :)