I just realized i shouldn't be contented.
Because it can lead to complacency and stagnation.
When you've been so used to seeing, eating crap,
crap becomes acceptable, tolerable.
The years will just speed by.
And when we're too old to change things, we ponder,
how did we end up being exactly where we were years ago?
Fat, old, good for nothing.
The startling realization will make you puke,
because it was by eating the same crap
one day at a time.
found a few of my old drafts -
After our major fight, when I learned to take after myself, I started going out with friends, and making new friends. This is good, I said to my self. I'm seeing other people other than her. I'm establishing relationships again. And I am actually having fun with friends, and my self. :) it's been a long while since I felt this… this feeling of community.
I get to hear other people's stories.
I used to be a people person. I forgot when I stopped being one. Last I checked, I'm a work person, who's good at delivering results and completing projects. The long and short of it, I'm a workaholic. I've been yakking abt how unhappy I am with my work and that it severed my social life. But the truth is, I thrive at work. And I often choose work over people. I got bored with people. They don't excite me. I don't blend with them. They are complicated. I don't dig them or I don't want to … get involved.
But then suddenly your world crushes. And the only 'people' in your world don’t want to see you anymore and don’t want to be with you.
And then you look for people. Because dammit, misery loves company.
And I don’t have people.
Because I'm not a people person anymore :( I've turned workaholic.
But my misery doesn’t want work as company (pun not intended).
It wants people as company.
Misery wants or needs the complex stuff.
And being broken, shattered and devastated me, I looked for people.
I need company. Not the work company which I thought was all I'll need, but the company that bores me, that doesn’t excite me, company that's complicated.
I think non-workaholic (normal) people call it friends.