Sharing! :)
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"Pinay lesbians at home in HK’s Statue Square"
By Isabel Escoda
Philippine Daily Inquirer
| October 7, 2012 at 12:40 am
Hong Kong may be a well-developed metropolis which touts itself as “Asia’s World City,” but it’s quite backward in one major way. Some members of the territory’s society consider homosexuality an aberration. One such person is tycoon Cecil Chao who, on finding that his daughter Gigi had married her longtime female partner in France (where same-sex marriages are allowed), publicly offered to pay a “talented” man $64 million to woo and “cure” his offspring of her lesbianism.
All this has recently been entertaining the Hong Kong public. Chao, who is 76, often appears in society pages squiring around various glamorous women and has produced a son with a Vietnamese-American model who later found that her marriage to him was a sham. Gigi Chao, 33, who has already received many marriage proposals from men around the world as a result of her father’s offer, views his antics with amused tolerance. But she obviously takes her marriage vows with her Chinese mate seriously.
Lately the Hong Kong government has been trying to change the local homophobic mindset by running public address announcements over radio and TV urging employers to hire job-seekers regardless of their sexual orientation. The Equal Opportunities Commission has called all discrimination unacceptable. But the older generation in this wealthy city seems stuck in 1950s mode.
Very much inhabiting 2012, Myrna and Connie are not a fictional Pinay couple (though their names are). They are flesh-and-blood young women who don’t advertise the fact of their lesbianism even though the community they live in knows them as a loving couple. Connie wears her hair in a severe crew-cut and dresses mannishly while Myrna sports long hair and feminine outfits. Working as domestics for a European couple, they are accepted and tolerated by their compatriots—as are a young Davaoeño and his middle-aged Belgian partner Pierre. Pablo stays home, gardens and travels around the world with Pierre who runs a trading firm. They enjoy throwing parties, and give a touch of class to the New Territories community they live in.
Though being bakla (or bayot in Visayan) in the Philippines is accepted and tolerated, the idea of same-sex marriage now gaining ground in the West is not and may never be, thanks to the Church and our own hidebound society. Nevertheless Pinay domestics with same-sex partners in Hong Kong are known and accepted as “asawa” to each other.
Homosexuality among Hongkongers has been quietly acknowledged for some years now, with sex between men decriminalized in 1994. Organizations dealing with the issue of lesbians, bisexuals, gays, and transgenders (LBGT) exist here, as in the West. Though conservative elements believe they are an unacceptable influence on young impressionable people, they are quietly tolerated. The practice of subjecting homosexuals to shock therapy in an attempt to “cure” them has been used in this former British colony, but one doesn’t hear of it often being done. Instead one hears of crackpot moves like Cecil Chao’s whose bizarre reaction to his daughter’s lesbianism involves throwing money at a problem to try and solve it, which is the typical Hong Kong way.
Hong Kong’s tourist draw at Statue Square is where one can find LBGTs among the territory’s Pinoy domestics relaxing on weekends.
With females being the majority of the migrant workers in the territory, it’s natural for lesbians to thrive among them, with only bigoted religious types praying for their repentance and “redemption.”
There are 10 Pinay lesbian associations. Some of the members may be needled by their “straight” colleagues and are sometimes gossiped about, but by and large most are accepted as free to do as they wish. Some are singers, dress designers, hairdressers, make-up artists, etc., who do not have hidden lives in “closets”—though they may, on visits back to the Philippines, cover up their unconventional relationships so as not to upset their relatives.
Pinay same-sex couples are no doubt astonished that anyone would offer a bounty to a male so as to “cure” a lesbian, as Mr Chao has done. Already labeled a moral hypocrite, that millionaire obviously believes homosexuality violates traditional Chinese values, while he himself has had no compunction in publicizing his sexual exploits with the opposite sex (obviously indulging in the old Chinese custom of concubinage). Many like him can claim that homosexuality is a Western import, and deny the fact that it has existed throughout the annals of Chinese history. But in a town where money rules, to ignore the universal human need for companionship, affection and love, as Cecil Chao has done, reveals a closed backward mind.
Source: http://m.inquirer.net/globalnation/?id=52114
10.07.2012
iForgive
I don't think I wouldn't be this happy and at peace with myself had I not learned to forgive. I've experienced extreme pain, suffering and wrongdoing from people who were supposed to love/take care of me. Several times, they broke my spirit and my heart. But while I had the strength to be angry, I also had a stronger will to move on. And have learned to let go of all things that won't help me become better. Easier said than done I know. But I am your assurance, it is possible. This is a power quote from me to you - "To forgive is to be free."
I just read the article below from the physical newspaper I bought from the market. See, PC is really busted, that I had to resort to a real news"paper". hehe.
This is a powerful piece to give you peace. Do read on :) And yes, am still blogging from my iPhone.
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"Time doesn’t heal all wounds, so learn to forgive instead"
By Cathy Babao-Guballa
Philippine Daily Inquirer
| October 7, 2012 at 4:51 am
“It has been said, ‘Time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”—Rose Kennedy
At the start of the semester, there is one lesson that I try to drill into my student’s heads—the fallacy that time heals all wounds. Time doesn’t, I tell them. Rather, it is what we do with the time that heals the wounds.
Grieving, or healing, is a proactive process. You cannot just sulk in one corner, moan about your troubles and watch the world go by. That’s fine for a couple of months; one has to grieve one’s loss, after all.
But after a while, the light breaks into the crack of the wounded heart, and you realize that the world does not, and will not, stop for you. So you slowly reinvest, reorganize and rebuild a new life where the person who is now gone has left an empty space.
But does the pain ever go away? Does one become scarred for life?
If you are talking about the death of a child, a parent or a spouse, the pain will always be there, but it lessens as the years go by. But if it is there, it will always be there. Accept it, make it your friend and live with it.
As you become friends with that kind of pain, and channel whatever sadness you have into reaching out and helping others on a similar journey, then the pain finds a deeper meaning, a higher purpose.
Now, when we talk about broken relationships, such as friendships or romances, then this is where the forgiveness comes in. The pain of this kind of loss will never go away, or at the very least, be eased, if you are unable to forgive.
Frederick Luskin, director of Stanford University’s forgiveness project, says: “The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt, depression and stress, and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self-confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.”
In the website learningtoforgive.com, he outlines nine steps that may help people forgive.
1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened, and be able to articulate what about the situation is not okay. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience. The operative word here is trusted, otherwise, you will just make the issue a bigger one than it already is.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you, and not for anyone else. For example, if you want to yell and scream, go someplace where you can shout without disrupting or alarming your neighbors or colleagues.
Inner peace
3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning his action. The bottom line is inner peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”
4. It’s all about perspective. Recognize what it is that is causing you pain now, and what offended you or hurt you two minutes—or 10 years—ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
5. The moment you feel upset, practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight-or-fight response. I leave the room and put a physical distance between who or what it is that is upsetting me, and I take a walk around the block. Make the coping skill a healthy one. Binge-eating, drinking or shopping is not healthy.
6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Build your boundaries, and teach other people to respect them.
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Don’t be a masochist. Replaying old hurts is never helpful.
8. Remember that a life well-lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive. You always have the power in your hands to create your own ending.
Many times in my life I’ve had to grapple with the issue of forgiveness and have found these nine steps to be very helpful on the journey to healing. But the years have taught me that it doesn’t end there.
The 10th and most powerful point— prayer—has always been the most effective for me. It is when I let Him step in and take over that the miracle begins. It’s been said that what God intended for us is always far better than what we can ever imagine. When I’ve done all I can, I give up the struggle and turn it over to Him and that is when He moves in my behalf, sometimes swiftly, and sometimes slowly.
Always, it is in His perfect time that we become healed, and only the scars of battle remain as a constant reminder of the struggle we went through and how His grace never leaves us where He first finds us.
Follow the author on Twitter @cathybabao or her blog www.storiesbykate.wordpress.com.
source: http://m.inquirer.net/lifestyle/?id=70288
I just read the article below from the physical newspaper I bought from the market. See, PC is really busted, that I had to resort to a real news"paper". hehe.
This is a powerful piece to give you peace. Do read on :) And yes, am still blogging from my iPhone.
--------------------------------
"Time doesn’t heal all wounds, so learn to forgive instead"
By Cathy Babao-Guballa
Philippine Daily Inquirer
| October 7, 2012 at 4:51 am
“It has been said, ‘Time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”—Rose Kennedy
At the start of the semester, there is one lesson that I try to drill into my student’s heads—the fallacy that time heals all wounds. Time doesn’t, I tell them. Rather, it is what we do with the time that heals the wounds.
Grieving, or healing, is a proactive process. You cannot just sulk in one corner, moan about your troubles and watch the world go by. That’s fine for a couple of months; one has to grieve one’s loss, after all.
But after a while, the light breaks into the crack of the wounded heart, and you realize that the world does not, and will not, stop for you. So you slowly reinvest, reorganize and rebuild a new life where the person who is now gone has left an empty space.
But does the pain ever go away? Does one become scarred for life?
If you are talking about the death of a child, a parent or a spouse, the pain will always be there, but it lessens as the years go by. But if it is there, it will always be there. Accept it, make it your friend and live with it.
As you become friends with that kind of pain, and channel whatever sadness you have into reaching out and helping others on a similar journey, then the pain finds a deeper meaning, a higher purpose.
Now, when we talk about broken relationships, such as friendships or romances, then this is where the forgiveness comes in. The pain of this kind of loss will never go away, or at the very least, be eased, if you are unable to forgive.
Frederick Luskin, director of Stanford University’s forgiveness project, says: “The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt, depression and stress, and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self-confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.”
In the website learningtoforgive.com, he outlines nine steps that may help people forgive.
1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened, and be able to articulate what about the situation is not okay. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience. The operative word here is trusted, otherwise, you will just make the issue a bigger one than it already is.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you, and not for anyone else. For example, if you want to yell and scream, go someplace where you can shout without disrupting or alarming your neighbors or colleagues.
Inner peace
3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning his action. The bottom line is inner peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”
4. It’s all about perspective. Recognize what it is that is causing you pain now, and what offended you or hurt you two minutes—or 10 years—ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
5. The moment you feel upset, practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight-or-fight response. I leave the room and put a physical distance between who or what it is that is upsetting me, and I take a walk around the block. Make the coping skill a healthy one. Binge-eating, drinking or shopping is not healthy.
6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Build your boundaries, and teach other people to respect them.
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Don’t be a masochist. Replaying old hurts is never helpful.
8. Remember that a life well-lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive. You always have the power in your hands to create your own ending.
Many times in my life I’ve had to grapple with the issue of forgiveness and have found these nine steps to be very helpful on the journey to healing. But the years have taught me that it doesn’t end there.
The 10th and most powerful point— prayer—has always been the most effective for me. It is when I let Him step in and take over that the miracle begins. It’s been said that what God intended for us is always far better than what we can ever imagine. When I’ve done all I can, I give up the struggle and turn it over to Him and that is when He moves in my behalf, sometimes swiftly, and sometimes slowly.
Always, it is in His perfect time that we become healed, and only the scars of battle remain as a constant reminder of the struggle we went through and how His grace never leaves us where He first finds us.
Follow the author on Twitter @cathybabao or her blog www.storiesbykate.wordpress.com.
source: http://m.inquirer.net/lifestyle/?id=70288
France-ing
My Spanish speaking good friend, who just cut her hair from waist-length to indecently short, marked 2014 as her and her partner's target to drop everything (career, family, etc) and move to France then tour the world (her partner is fluent in French). This, after her dad just survived a major illness.
Another good looking lez friend of mine from NY who also happens to sport short hair, has a butch couple friend who just got married and will similarly drop everything and travel the world next year.
Yesterday, I had snacks at Mary Grace in Greenbelt with a used-to-be-lez friend who just came back from guess where, France!
While all economic planners are saying the shift of power is moving from West to East, the seat of happiness and exploration is definitely in Europe.
My seat of happiness remains to be in the middle of my chest.
Make no mistake about it, I also long to travel the world, specially Europe. As a kid I've always said that Italy is my dream country. But after having journeyed life not geographically, but in the experience sense, I realized that what I do want really is to travel the paths of my heart as it intersects with the flow of other people's heart.
I'd like to take things slower, absorb things and not just scan them. I don't like to just dip or tiptoe. I want to immerse. I'd like to take gardening, paint more, take photos, get lost in reading, experiment without fear, talk to people with interest and curiosity, share, teach. Write what's filling my senses. Traveling can be part of that, but not required. I'd want time for myself, not bounded by the 8-5 range and deadlines. I want to be free. And I want to be fearless.
Another good looking lez friend of mine from NY who also happens to sport short hair, has a butch couple friend who just got married and will similarly drop everything and travel the world next year.
Yesterday, I had snacks at Mary Grace in Greenbelt with a used-to-be-lez friend who just came back from guess where, France!
While all economic planners are saying the shift of power is moving from West to East, the seat of happiness and exploration is definitely in Europe.
My seat of happiness remains to be in the middle of my chest.
Make no mistake about it, I also long to travel the world, specially Europe. As a kid I've always said that Italy is my dream country. But after having journeyed life not geographically, but in the experience sense, I realized that what I do want really is to travel the paths of my heart as it intersects with the flow of other people's heart.
I'd like to take things slower, absorb things and not just scan them. I don't like to just dip or tiptoe. I want to immerse. I'd like to take gardening, paint more, take photos, get lost in reading, experiment without fear, talk to people with interest and curiosity, share, teach. Write what's filling my senses. Traveling can be part of that, but not required. I'd want time for myself, not bounded by the 8-5 range and deadlines. I want to be free. And I want to be fearless.
10.02.2012
ako ay Leslie
heard this song since last year i think. but never got to check who sang it. i found it amusing and interesting. a known all-male band singing about lesbians. neat. i guess lesbians are becoming mainstream :) cheers to us! :)
10.01.2012
Buhay Sirena
pagkat tayo ay mga sirena (mermaid). lumalangoy sa dagat ng panghuhusga, nalulunod sa mga pangamba, nilulunod ng mga hindi nakakaunawa. pero pilit umaahon para sa sarili at sa iba. salamat Gloc-9 at Ebe Dancel
originally saw the video at http://chicogarcia.wordpress.com/
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originally saw the video at http://chicogarcia.wordpress.com/
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