lasting impression

Friend 1:
Been together for around 2yrs.
Lived together for less than a year in a foreign country
Planned to get married end of this year.
I was actually helping them in their wedding preparation.
Declaration: madami na kaming pinag-daanan. wala nang makakapaghiwalay sa min.

Friend 2:
Been together for almost 3yrs.
Been living together for more than a year.
Both ditched their gf's of so many years (4yrs +) to pursue this newfound love.
Declaration: can't imagine my life being more perfect

Friend 3:
Been together for 7yrs.
Braved their religious family's wrath to fight for their love
Went to the same school.
Worked in the same industry
Took the same post-grad course.
Declaration: up to infinity and beyond!


Friends 1, 2 and 3 are now single. The shocking announcements happened this year, around one month apart.

It's a time for mourning.

It shattered others' strongly held hope of an ever after the same manner my friends' hearts were pulverized into smithereens. It's like becoming a widow, severed from one's ideals. Friends 1, 2 and 3 are in dark anguish of the sudden, painful twist of fate.

I'm nearing 3 yrs with my gf. And I'm inwardly apprehensive of this seeming foreboding.
I, who have been cynically spitting to my friends that I don’t believe in happy endings. That I live my relationship one day at a time.

The truth is, theories aside, that's a scared womyn daring the universe to prove her wrong. But as fate may have it, these recent turn of events in my social circle is challenging me instead to prove my self wrong. The universe simply won't spoon-feed realizations to a lazy (pretending) theorist. :D It's part of the learning, the experiencing.

Doesn't anything last anymore?
Seeing friends who's been in years of togetherness kinda gives me that glimmer of hope.
Maybe something lasts after all.
Then they break-up.
And I'm emphatically broken as well, including that small spark inside me called hope.

I am in my longest relationship to date (2mos being the shortest).
Maybe this is for keeps.

There are numerous uncertainties in life.
If I consider them all, yeah, most probably, we won't last like the others.
But there is one certainty I know.

I love her.

Beyond fats and flabs,
wrinkles and white hairs,
financial unpredictability,
allergy attacks,
senility,
and all other imperfections.

If I get to know more that will put that love in question, then it's time to pray to the universe.
Until such time, I'll sweat it out to make us last for as long as I humanly can.

(s)wallow

If there is one thing I love doing, it's reading. Uhm, and writing too. And watching films. And photography. Okay so that makes it 4 things I love doing. :)

I just finished reading Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke. Must read friends. :)

This is something you digest on an open mind. Chew with slowness so you get to absorb its meaning lest getting lost and lose interest in the process.

I never imagined Maria for a guy. He's actually an advocate for solitude. Beat that.
While the majority makes a crisis over being single, he prescribes it as medicine for the soul.

This is no chicken soup for the soul where you're given feel good stories . This is a strong medicine laced with bitter truth and potent insights. It's like the blue - red pill offered by Morpheus to Neo.
The choice is entirely yours.

I am giving it as a gift to a grieving friend. When you're broken (hearted, ego, whathaveyou), sometimes all it takes is a paradigm shift to knock some sense into a stubborn-jaded head. And yeah best taken with the universal panacea to anything broken, booze. It’s a bitter-sweet life.