12.18.2013

uncomfortable comfort zone

For months I have been resenting my 8yr relationship with my partner. Fun is gone. Every inch of her skin seems familiar. We don’t fight. We have successful careers. We travel apart because of work. We are tolerant of each other. We are so settled that I hate it. Comfort zone is far from comfortable. You know that feeling when you've sat so long in one position in the same chair or have slept so long on your bed that it's like peeling your back off from the bedsheet  with a  zombie stance? That's uncomfortable comfort zone. And again I hate it.

She came back two weeks ago from some south american country after a month-long work, and I was off to another asian country for a few days of work. I went to the mall, checked some stuff I need for the trip, went home not until my legs were so sore, I almost crawled going to the jeepney. Alone in my place I prepped my luggage and once in a while laughed by myself at the tv show I was procrastinating with. Slept 1am. All settled. And then with just a few hours of sleep she rang. And it irritated me. Until she said she's on her way to my place to take me to the airport. Cute. I took a bath. When I went out from the bathroom, there she was cooking fried egg she took from my fridge. She bought hot pandesal, made me hot milo drink and also brought in hot porridge. Breakfast. It’s been a while. I don’t really have time to prepare breakfast thus I rarely eat brekky. So breakfast. Sweet. One thing she has consistently done for 8yrs is spoon feed me. She knows how busy I always am. So in between talks, chores, stuff, she would offer me spoonful of food reminding me I need to eat. And I go quickmelt in an instant.

At the airport, we hugged. And it feels warm and fuzzy in the stomach. We kissed. And shared I love yous. As I walk my way inside the airport, I glanced through the glass wall. There she was waiting. Not leaving till am done with immigration. Once I made it through, I called her. See you soon love.

Fun may be gone. But love never left. I  was reminded that no matter how restless I may at times feel, she's a wife I want to go home to. 


side note:
she was supposed to surprise me by going with me on my biz trip. alas, my flight sked was changed and already conflicts with her work. so twas then that she revealed of her failed surprise to me. aww.

img from here

2 comments:

summerstar said...

hi fire! i have the same situation. actually we're turning 15 years next month.We're together here in the philippines for 8 years, LDR for for almost 7 years. she's in the US and hopefully my immigrant application will be granted next year so i can be with her. wishing you and your partner the best.happy holidays!

one_blissful_nomad said...

Awww. That was sweet! Happy Holidays to you and your girlfriend! :-)