Wanted: All!

I want to watch (500) days of summer, but gf can't yet because she has to baby sit with her older sister.

I'm not apologetic for the fact that I don't dig this. Why a kid and two college students need two adult baby sitters is beyond me. I've always been independent and my family's mostly independent except for money.

Another concern is why am I upset? If I want to watch a movie so bad, why can't I just watch it alone? I used to do things single-handed, but the couple status made it convenient to do things together. And had to consider the other on things, ideally because you'd want to share things with the other.

Which presupposes the other, the want to watch the movie or the want to share the watching of the movie?

I'm not really idealistic, so I'd say the personal want came first and because you know it will be personally good, then you'd want to share it with your gf. The couple thing blurs the line between the self and the couple.

Or maybe, it is not watching the movie that is what I really want but to be with gf which predisposes the desire to watch the movie.

Now I think I'm upset because I want it all - watch a movie I like with the person I like. Never mind which is the primary want, I just want it to happen as complete as I want it.

And don’t give me that crap that we can't have it all. Whoever said we can't have it all? I think we all deserve the best, the perfect things. And so what if we're imperfect? I still want the best, everything. We all deserve that. The one who said we can’t have it all probably didn’t get what s/he wants that's why s/he's limiting everybody else on what we can have or be. Well, not me.