like it or not

It used to be that my longest relationship would only be in months. It's not that there is no sincerity nor there is no love, it just didn't last longer. We're lucky in a way to know early that we're not compatible, before we even messed up further. Maybe some would argue that we didn't try harder or we didn't give it chance to mature. My belief then was that mutual love should not be hard, but should be effortless. Love flows easily that you don't need to try, you just follow your heart and the rest will be roses minus the thorns.

Okay your turn now to shoot me for being that idealistic. The critics are right, I didn't try harder. First sign of flaw or incompatibility and I'm out the door. This is ironically funny because the very reason my past gfs and I became couples is because we like each other, at least for the initial part. Notice the polyseme (a linguistic term for a word's capacity to carry two or more distinct meanings). Like as in with favored feelings and like as in sameness. Naturally, anything different or unlikeable with my then gf is a trigger for me that we're not meant to be for the long haul. The trepidation of the unknown/other's secret is gone, replaced with knowing familiarity. Of course, this is after the first intimate night together. It's a milestone really which will determine if there'll be more nights or it ends there.

And because I'm impatient, I do things in a hurried fashion. I like you, you like me, let's go! At that moment, you caught my interest and I want to go on. As we go on, the Oops happen. Oops, she just spoke her first unforgivable grammar error. Oops, smart sure, but a little overweight. Did she just say split the bill? Oops, financially unstable! And so on, a string of short lived involvements.