2.25.2015

hi zebra!

I was caged in chains up to my eyeballs with work and so I wasn’t able to watch live the Oscar telecast. By the time I got home, too spent to even brush my teeth, I can only search youtube for the speeches. I of course started with the supporting actors because I save the best for last, the main actors.

Best Supporting Actor, J.K. Simmons - couldn't relate to his speech but the call your parents thing is good.

Best Supporting Actress, Patricia Arquette - she's okay, but kinda emotionless for me as she read her speech, yada yada, equal pay for women.

Best Actor, Eddie Redmayne - touching because he was emotional with his surprise of the win. And I love his accent btw. :)

Best Actress, Julianne Moore - I hoped she win this time because she's been nominated infinitum, plus I've seen Still Alice and cried a lot, worried for my own future should I have Alzheimer. Whenever I forget small stuff, I kid gf to remind me if I am being progressively forgetful, because you know, Alzheimer. And she would just laugh at me.

Then nothing left to check, the Graham Moore guy appeared on the feed and so being trigger happy, clicked away.

Best Adapted Screenplay, Graham Moore -


"When I was 16 years old,I tried to kill myself because I felt weird and I felt different and I felt like I did not belong. And now I'm standing here and so I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she's weird or she's different or she doesn't fit in anywhere. Yes, you do. I promise you do. You do. Stay weird, stay different. And then when it's your turn and you're standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along." - Graham Moore, Oscar's 2015 Best Adapted Screenplay for The Imitation Game

 

                                                                 http://youtu.be/kN1SaF5LNGs

His speech is a hugot level for me. I always felt am weird and different, since childhood and now all grown up because am a lesbian. In my early years at work, girls hated me because am close with guys, effortlessly. I just can relate to them more, even though am not that boyish. I can fare well with them in drinking, jokes, work, games, hiking. So much that one of the guys when he got married to one of our co-workers, in their honeymoon, compared me to his new wife. And that just upped the female hatred directed towards me. I have comfortably come out to my guy friends. And they are supportive. So I love them equally. Suck that bitches, because am your lesbian-very-much-loved-by-guys.

At this point in my life, I just don’t care that much anymore with what people think so long as I kick ass at work. And am happy with myself. While most women at the office suffer in high heels wanting to look taller, fashionable, I decided this year to just wear oxfords, and all white tops. I don’t care about color combination and   just wear what's easy for me. While many strive and spend for long  straight hair, I had mine burst into curls. Shocker, but I feel better now. Low maintenance, almost wash and wear. :)

I am weird, but in a sexy, fierce kind of weird. And I take pride in being different   because that's who I am. No apologies. I'm also full of mistakes, judgmental, with my own prejudices. 

And since I am a biased person, I naturally assumed Graham is gay. But reading more, he clarified he doesn’t identify as gay. Well, too bad for us lgbt, but hey, so long as he continues to be talented and give us the good stuff, am one  happy lesbian. :) 

His speech  was more for those suffering  in depression. I remember  from my past self based on my many posts, how sad of a person I am. So still resonates with me.

When in the past we are embarrassed for being different, individuality, weirdness should in fact be celebrated! And whatever it is that makes us different or simply us. We are all zebras, fingerprints, unique!

I know it is scary shit to stick out like a neon light at night or to be the only one raising your hand. But that is okay. Scary feeling is  natural, human. Marvel in it and do scary things. You'll be surprised how thrilling or unscary it turns out to be.

I'd rather be  scared and confirmed wrong, than endlessly wondering what-if as my last name.

So no  need for drama please and that ugly suicide/self torture. Let's stay different, stay weird together, and let us celebrate! I am a testimonial that being different is magnificent! :)

And hey, I am here for you if you need a weirdo to talk to :)
 
 
 
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I said I must write something about this no matter how busy I am. so there. a promise is a promise to myself. 'hopefully more kwento again soon. =)

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