wired

When couples close to you or people you know break up, you get affected. And forces you to rethink yours, your relationship (assuming you have one) or the lack of (if you’re single). It’s like an electric current that somehow gets passed on by virtue of the friendship connection. And as such, from being complacently okay in the plateau of things, you get shaken and kinda panic. Wait a minute, they seemed happy, ok. What happened? Inward, How dare them break up and do this to me?! So now that one or more dared to leave the plateau settlement, those remaining are left wondering and sometimes discover that they want more or want differently now. The agonizing life assessment (read: quarter/mid-life crisis) ensues if one is brave enough tread this path. And then the painful realization of what has been nagging you for some time. Ok is not okay. Plateau is not the new peak. A peak can plateau, or a plateau can peak, but peak does not equal plateau and vice versa. You now make the drastic decision to the shock of your significant other. Even after deciding, it'll still be an excruciating ping-pong of indecision (of letting go  or of staying) and confusion (did I do the right thing or is this a mistake?). Meanwhile, you chance upon the friend who broke up with her bf/gf because of issues. You ask him/her, how s/he is. And s/he tells you, we got back last night. Hindi ko pala kaya. Dramarama sa hapon. Hehe. At that instant, you go fuck yourself. Haha. But in the end, you learn that brave is the new you. And you are now more than okay. :)

hanging out

so funny because it is very true. :) do read and share us what you think.

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source: thought catalog

Dear Gay Dude: Do Gay Guys and Lesbians Hang Out?

Apr. 14, 2011 By Ryan O'Connell

Dear Gay Dude,
I’ve always wondered something. Do gay guys and lesbians get along with each other? I know this might be a silly question, but I’ve never really seen an overlap. Gay men seem to have a separate distinct culture from lesbians and I was curious to see if that’s actually true.
-Friends 4Ever?

Dear Friends 4Ever?,
Short answer: Of course gays and lesbians are friends! Are you kidding? As homosexuals, we’ve all dealt with the same bullshit discrimination. We’re allies and support one another as brothers and sisters in the queer struggle!

Long answer: Um, I think so….
This is a tricky question to answer and it may involve a lot of sweeping generalizations so I’ll try to type carefully. I can only speak from my own experiences here, okay?!

Gays and lesbians are friends obviously. But it can vary from person to person. I know gay men who hang out exclusively with lesbians and I also know gay men who have never had a lesbian friend. We can sometimes exist in different worlds, which makes sense because we live on opposite ends of the sexual universe. Gay men reside at Anal Avenue and Two Penises Lane while lesbians are holding it down on Vagina Vagina Court and Ani Difranco Street. You can’t get more “opposite sides of town’” than that.

Are you ready to hear some of the stereotypes that can make gays and lesbians polar opposites? Certain ones are more true than others, but here are the basics. Lesbians tend to be more driven by their emotions (I guess} and drawn to monogamous long-term relationships than gay men are. They also find themselves frequently entangled in what is commonly referred to as “dike drama.” Look, I know what I just said is kind of icky, but if anything is real, it’s dike drama. That shit is not a lie. It’s here, it’s queer, and lesbians deal with it. In the few friendships I’ve had with lesbians, I have been STUNNED by their relationship drama. It can be a damn soap opera. Like gay men, lesbians can be an incestuous bunch. The difference though lies in the seriousness of the romantic relationships. Some gay men can do sexual double dips and call it a day. But with the lesbian friends I’ve had, it gets more complicated than that. There is no “Wham, bam, thank you m’am!” Instead, it’s “Wham, let’s cuddle, and who are you talking to? Your ex-girlfriend? Fuck you!” Relationships appear to get serious very fast. Nesting can occur in a second, and before you know it, you’re just together. It doesn’t always last forever though. Things can end just as quickly as they started. And then before you know it, someone is having sex with someone else’s girlfriend and then all hell breaks loose. Wait, this is starting to sound eerily similar to the love lives of gay men…

My best friend in high school was actually a lesbian. We saw eye to eye on practically everything, and when our two queer sensibilities would converge, it would create a beautiful double rainbow. The only thing I couldn’t relate to is how she dealt with her girlfriends. Even though we were both emotional intuitive people with similar thought processes, her girl problems would just have different outcomes than the issues I had with boys. One day she’d hate this one particular girl passionately, and the next day, they would record a voicemail together that would be like, “Hi. You’ve reached Cynthia’s phone. She’s not here right now because she’s cuddling with ME.”

I think all of these differences have the ability to sometimes create a tension. Gay men can view lesbians as being too much drama and lesbians can see gay men as superficial narcissists. But at the end of the day, people are people. As a gay man, I don’t need a translator to speak lesbian. I get it. I get them. I love them. In fact, I think it’s bullshit that in this new queer media, lesbians’ voices often get buried. I don’t see them being represented nearly as much as gay men are and it’s totally unfair. They still seem to be majorly marginalized. At gay clubs, they have “girls night” instead of sharing a queer space or heck, having their own. Of course there are lesbian bars, but gay bars seem to outnumber them.

So here’s the short answer and long answer combined: Yes, we hang out. Yes, we love each other. Yes, we are different. Yes, we can exist in different social worlds. In the end though, it’s up to us. We can be as separate or together as we want to be.

Love,
Gay Dude

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15 Crazy Things About Vaginas

source: here
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15 things I bet you never knew about vajayjays.
It's amazing how much misinformation is out there about the vagina. Given how fascinated our society is with the female body, you'd think we'd be a little more informed. But from what I discovered while soliciting questions for my book What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, many of us still have a lot to learn.
To help out, I've compiled a few things you may not know about the female genitalia.

1. Pubic hair is not just a biological accident that forces us to the waxing salon. It serves three critical functions. First, it protects the delicate vagina. Second, it serves as a reproductive billboard to alert potential mates that you are biologically (if not emotionally) prepared to procreate. And last, it's a pheromone carpet and traps the scents that lead potential mates to the promised land. So you might think twice before you shave it all off. It's there for a reason. Embrace it.
2. There are 8000 nerve endings in the clitoris, dedicated exclusively to female pleasure. The penis only has 4000. Who says God didn't take care of us girls?
3. The average vagina is 3-4 inches long, but fear not if your guy is hung like a horse. The vagina can expand by 200% when sexually aroused, kind of like a balloon. Remember, the vagina was made to birth babies, so it's exceedingly elastic. If you have pain when getting it on with someone large, you can use dilators to help stretch the vagina so you can accommodate the whole package.
4. The vagina doesn't connect to the lung. While the vagina can expand, it's not an open conduit to the abdominal cavity. While microscopic sperm can swim through a tiny hole in the cervix, a tampon simply won't fit. So if you lose something in there, don't worry. Reach in all the way and pull it out. Do not -- I repeat, do not -- go hunting for whatever you've lost with a pair of pliers. Think of your vagina as being like a sock. If you lose a banana in a sock...it stays in the sock.
5. Yes, it's true -- your vagina can fall out. Not to belabor the sock metaphor, but it can turn inside out just like a worn out sweat sock and hang between your legs as you get older. But don't fret; this condition -- called pelvic prolapse -- can be fixed.
6. Vaginas have something in common with sharks. Both contain squalene, a substance that exists in both shark livers and natural vaginal lubricant. (Cue music: "She's a maneater...")
7. You can catch sexually transmitted diseases even if you use a condom. Sorry to break it to you, but the skin of the vulva can still touch infectious skin of the scrotum -- and BAM! Warts. Herpes. Molluscum contagiosum. Pubic lice. So pick your partners carefully.
8. The average length of the labia minora is less than ¾ inch long (yes, someone got out a ruler and measured 2981 women). Only 1.8% of women have labia longer than 1 ½ inches. But remember, every vulva is different and special. Some lips hang down. Some are tucked up neatly inside. Some are long. Some are short. Some are even. Some aren't. All are beautiful. You're perfect just the way you are.
9. While hair on your head can live up to seven years, pubic hair has a life expectancy of about three weeks, which is why it only grows so long. So don't worry if you opt not to groom your pubes -- you won't need to braid them any time soon.
10. The word "vagina" comes from the Latin root meaning "sheath for a sword," which may explain why some women simply hate the word. So if you don't like the word "vagina," pick your own name for your girly parts. Just call it something and don't be afraid to talk about it.
11. Only about 30% of women have orgasms from intercourse alone. The clitoris is where the action is. Most women who do orgasm during sex have figured out how to hit their sweet spot, either from positioning or from direct stimulation of the clitoris with fingers.
12. Increasing evidence suggests that the G spot feels good because it lies right over a deep part of the clitoris. Although experts describe the G spot as being inside the vagina on the anterior wall, just under the urethra, the crura of the clitoris actually runs right there. And a recent study demonstrated that vaginal orgasms may actually be deep clitoral orgasms. But who cares? An orgasm is an orgasm. Appreciate it, regardless of where it comes from.
13. Vaginal farts (some call them "queefs" or "varts") happen to almost all women at one time or another, especially during sex or other forms of exercise. So don't be embarrassed if your hooha lets out a toot. You're perfectly normal.
14. Some women do ejaculate during orgasm, but you're normal if you don't. The controversial "female ejaculation" most likely represents two different phenomena. If it's a small amount of milky fluid, it likely comes from the paraurethral glands inside the urethra. If it's a cup, it's probably pee. Many times, it may be a little bit of both. But don't stress out about peeing on yourself. Put a towel under you and surrender to the experience.
15. Safe sex (or even just orgasm alone) is good for you. Benefits include lowering your risk of heart disease and stroke, reducing your risk of breast cancer, bolstering your immune system, helping you sleep, making you appear more youthful, improving your fitness, regulating menstrual cycles, relieving menstrual cramps, helping with chronic pain, reducing the risk of depression, lowering stress levels, and improving self esteem. So go at it, girlfriends!

There you go. There you have it. It's important to know this kind of stuff, because you can't truly love all of yourself until you love and understand your girly parts. We talk about the eyeball or the elbow or the big toe. Why not talk about the vagina? Plus, the vagina is way more interesting than the pinky finger or the belly button. The vagina is the creator of life and the portal of pleasure. But it's also where we carry many traumas -- menstrual cramps, childbirth trauma, molestation, rape, abortion, and painful gynecological exams. If we don't release these traumas, they back up and manifest in a whole host of health conditions like depression and chronic pelvic pain. We must talk about our girly parts to liberate them.
The more we know, the more we're empowered to live life out loud, love fully, and really rock this life.

*      *       *
So there you have it.
Can you believe that these 15 facts caused such a hullaballoo? What do you think? Did you learn anything new? Have any more fun vajayjay facts to share? What do you think about how "sperm trumps vagina" and that this article was pulled? (It still rattles me...)
I had such a great time on tour talking with women about their yonis, these sacred sources of vitality and power. Big hugs to everyone whom I met on tour, who has read What's Up Down There, and who continues to bring vaginas out of the closet!

freedom to tweet

Found an article that quotes the statements made by Willie Revillame against Aiza et al. Here it is:


"Jim Paredes ng Apo, Leah Salonga, Aiza Seguerra, magpakalalake ka. Tandaan mo yan. Bata ka pa hindi ba nagtatrabaho ka na. Hindi ba? Hindi ba exploitation yan. Mag-isip ka. Tingnan niyo muna sarili niyo bago kayo magsalita. Agot Isidro. Wala ka namang anak eh bakit mo ako gaganyanin? Alamin mo muna. Bianca Gonzalez akala niyo kung sino kayo. May natulungan ba kayong mga mahihirap?" said Revillame, who also mentioned Leah Navarro, Tuesday Vargas, K Brosas and Mylene Dizon.

English translation:

(Jim Paredes of Apo, Leah Salonga, Aiza Seguerra, act like a man. Keep that in mind. You were a child then, and yet you were already working, weren't you? Weren't you? Wasn't that exploitation? Think about it. Look first at yourselves before you talk. Agot Isidro. You don't have a child, but why do you do this to me? Get to know things first. Bianca Gonzalez, you're so full of yourselves. Have you ever helped the poor?)

Twitty Replies

 "How can a laos [past-his-prime], old, over-the-hill guy like me destroy a sikat [rising], powerful, rich Superstar like Willie? He did it all by himself," was Paredes' reaction on Twitter.

"Just got bombarded by a slew of tweets. To those who tweeted kind words of support, thanks. Much appreciated. And last I checked, it's actually a right of every person in this country to express an opinion, good or bad. We live in a democracy, and I'm grateful," said Lea Salonga on her Twitter account. ** world class repartee by miss lea. eat that WR! **

Agot Isidro chose to reply with lyrics from Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful," tweeting "Coz I am beautiful in every single way, words can't bring me down..."

"Sa mga sumusuporta, salamat po [For those supporting us, thanks]," Seguerra said simply.

---

source: gmanewstv.

so who's the bigger man?

i don't normally mind the showbiz stuff, specially anything related to Willie Revillame. i admit sometimes am forced in a debate with my dad who's a fan of this guy. but after watching this lengthy video of non-apology and false humility the guy managed to get into my nerves when he hit Aiza Seguerra (for expressing her pov on the jan-jan issue) where he shouted something like, "Aiza, magpakalalaki ka!". wtf is that?! that is below the belt and not related at all to the issue. what is he implying? obviously, he wants to attack aiza and the easiest thing his close mind can use is aiza's sexual preference. it just showed how clueless he is about the lgbt world. the tragic part though is when the audience laughed at the "magpakalalaki" comment.

if being a man is to be like him, then i think all will either want to be women or gay/lez instead.

am too tired today to write further. but i hope the lgbt family will support aiza on this for the guy plans to sue all who publicly commented against him.

the aiza part is on the 15:19, 16:18  part of the video timer.

Daan lang

mahaba, malubak, mausok, madumi pero nililinisan (at nadudumihan uli), matuwid na may mga liko, matrapik. may mga aksidente. may mga jaywalkers, may mga babala sa pag-iingat, paghinto, at pagtuloy. may mga direksyon. pero may naliligaw pa rin. may tumutulong, may nagnanakaw, may nagkakamali,  may masunurin, may pasaway, may nagpaparaya. pag umulan may baha, paminsan-minsan maluwag (lalo pag may laban si pacquiao).

ganyan sa edsa ng buhay. masalimuot, puno ng pakikipagsapalaran, pero may kalayaan.

ikaw ang didiskarte.

sana magtagpo tayo dito balang araw. =)

friends?

when someone says "i love you" to you, it only means two things, "do you love me too?" or "please love me too". and so you must realize that you are bound to hurt her the moment you can't reciprocate her love. even though you've been clear that you can only be a friend, you cannot stop the other from hoping that the friendship will blossom to something more. the burden then lies on you. to re-clarify, put boundaries, and make clear what the friendship entails. for any positive action on your end though done in the goodwill of friendship, can mean differently to the one in love. we've all been there. we love with optimism and strong hope/resolve of being loved back, super magnifying every littlest of nice gesture. meanings are in people not in words or actions. so don't ever believe that just because you can't love the other person back means the other will stop loving you. it may not be your fault, but you can lessen massive internal hemorrhage and unbelievable pain to others if you set the boundaries of the friendship you can only offer, instead of leaving it simply as, "let's just be friends.".

choosy

Life is about choices. Not doing anything is also a form of choice. We may delay the decision making process but ultimately, we are bound to make a choice. So yeah, even the opposite of pro-choice made a stand. However, one can argue that the basic signs of human life are involuntary, like breathing, pulse, heartbeat. To be born is also not our choice, but of our parents. But how to live and to continue living are already out of our own will. Now I come to the point where I have to contradict myself. life is not about choices, but living is.