i've always identified butches to characteristics that go beyond the masculine looks and getup.
i find them dominant in the sense that they are oftentimes the pursuer.

yet they can also be the sweetest creatures, 'cause they tend for the gurls, straight or otherwise.
the extinct chivalrous acts of opening the door for you, assisting you as you stand-up or cross the street.

they can also be spoliers to their 'girls'.

the dark side of it is they can also be possessive, abusive and domineering.

then one day, i met a girl i like.
and because i like her, and i have no sense of so-called 'roles',
i invite her to movies, to eat out or just have coffee and talk (read: dates),
i prioritize her preferences, where to eat, her convenient time.
i txt her just to say hi, to remnd her that it's time to eat, to take care as she go home, and to have the sweetest dreams in her sleep.
i listen to her rants about her ex.
i empathize with her depression, problems
i try to make her laugh as much as i can.
i guess, i'm courting her in my own ways.

so what's odd with our setup?
i look definitely more femme-ish than her,
while she's on the boyish side.

on one of our 'dates' i was wearing sleeveless fitted blouse
paired w/ low hung jeans and heeled shoes.
she, in long sleeved sweats, slacks, side sling bag and loafers.

i honestly feel butch when i'm with her.
i felt butch and bold enough to ask her if she likes me and that I want to have sex with her.
i know i sounded 'off', because i was too starighforward.

i don't know if this stems from the fact that i am the pursuer
or because i just want her.

but i just feel that i like her and i want her to know the extent of that 'likeness'.
i may be coming in strong for her, but that's just me being brutally honest.

i realized that i dont' have the patience for prolonged pleasantries,
when it is clear to me what i want and when i want it.

my friends are having a field day on my 'butch' antics.
they are saying that i'm now butch.
a femme-butch, soft on the outside, brazen in the inside
does that make me a soft butch? androgynous?
hell! does it even matter?
it's just semantics for me.

this is beyond terminologies, it's more on the 'terms'.


Straight-ish said...

I can't help but comment here.
I was just about to blog about this 'LABELS' thingy.
People put on labels that tend to confuse me as well.
I'm a lesbian cause I know I like women and I want to spend the rest of my life with a woman.
But highschool friends who know I date girls was in shock to see how girly I am right now.

They can't quite understand how I can be girly and have a girly (and pretty) girlfriend?
So, am I a bi-butch? bi-femme?

How les should one les be?

firewomyn said...

@Straight-ish - you know am really not that encycolepedic with labels. but i think if you both look feminine, you're considered F2F (femme to femme). i dunno if bi has subgroups but i've seen sites referring to bi-butch, bi-femme. i dunno if am making any sense. hehe. i just adhere to the label womyn-loving-womyn. :) i'll try to research some more on this.

abt your HS friends, we all change. that's the point.

how les? more or lez. hehe. i think one need not gauge. we all love women and that makes us gay (literally & figuratively)

Straight-ish said...

ox getchs ko na.

if w=w
print('LABEL is LES')
end if

geek mode.

firewomyn said...

@straight-ish - you're in IT too? Neat!

If w=w{
if label=ok;
print("label is lez")
else print("secret")

gosh, i miss coding. I don't think that snippet will compile. Hehe. not all wants to be labeled so let's say secret for them :)

Straight-ish said...

0 errors.