something twisted for 'j'

note: this is actually two poems, read two ways:
a. 'j' likes her humor and the banter...
b. 'k' likes her wit and the chemistry...

------------------------------------------------
something twisted for 'j'

'j'________________________'k'
______________likes________
her humor_________________her wit
______________and________
the banter_________________the chemistry
______________so_________
she calls___________________she keeps
______________her_________
once in a while______________guessing
______________never_______
demanding_________________committing
______________always_______
giving and__________________funny, sometimes
______________caring_______
even______________________too
______________but_________
despite the_________________eventhough she
______________lack_________
of consistency_______________the courage
______________they_________
connect____________________go on
______________oddly.________
happy yet__________________enjoying but
______________twisted.______


1st draft, to be revised....

davao can be disorienting

1st, i have no virtual life here, no pc! waaah!
2nd, cabs have no aircon
3rd, cab drivers give back your change down to the last centavo! neat!
4th, i have a bathtub in my hotel room! hay sarap!
5th, i sleep here damn too early! as in 10pm, beat that!
6th, no smoking in public places! walang bangketa to buy yosi. grabe, hirap!
7th, food is always superb! shempre, hotel food e, saka resto foodies
8th, it's always rainy duing the afternoon to night. gosh! im always wet here.

with the presence of two cuties, my bi-tendencies are being activated! as in toot!toot!toot! in red flashing lights. har!har!har!

a coup d' etat of sorts

the weekend was a coup d' etat of sorts.
political, emotional, hormonal, physical.

a sexual-political weekend with military state of rebellion as
backdrop, the peyups bisexual peeps convened at NY cafe in malate.

we were a gang of five women personally meeting for the first time.
err, atleast that what i thought.

there's a butch, a soft butch, a feeling butch, a confused bi and me,
a bi-femme. guess who's who!

after short pleasantries, and in between booze and smoke, we jumped right into the meat of our concerns, sexuality!
experiences or the lack of it, how one started, types, current 'careers',
encounters, and so on.

then we got antsy, the night was young and we just wanted to strike anywhere. with hormones raging, we headed to amnesiacs bar, where the action seems to be, venue for lezpinay EB.

upon entrance, the place was brimming with women, all types. and i have never seen as many lesbians as was there in my life!

finding a spot is a tough task. we had to brave the crowd to find a place to at least stand w/o being pushed around by people to and fro. but then again, pushing = brushing = friction = contact! good enough!

then there's the dance. and the dance+career. you can either be the picked-up or the aggressor.

nyt-nyt

nyt-nyt

head spinning
body collapsing
eyelids dropping
im falling.....
asleep!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Work and Fun

just finished a major task in my flash actionscripting project.
whew! what a day!
it's been rough and tough!
and i've had enough!
kaya uuwi na ko!

naks! partida yan ha, nakuha ko pang magrhyme !
hehehe.

da truth of da matter is, nde ko naman mashadong kinarir ang project ko. kasi i was able to watch tomb raider kaninang 8pm sa megamall.
being a film buff, i just can't resist not watching it on the first screening day.

the verdict?! angelina jolie is the only saving grace in the 'film'.

commercial: accdg to my film instructor, u use d term 'film' to refer to its artistic sense, and 'movie' for its commercial value.

the action scenes are too fantabulous bordering improbability
get my drift? in other words, not realistic.
to game lovers, some moves were close to how they were executed in the game. but the storyline is a far cry from the twists and puzzles in the playstation version.

some scenes look soooo familiar you'd wonder if this is a collage collaboration.

there's the scene in an African forest that seems to be a spin-off of the LOTR2 Fangorn setting where the trees were alive and walking.

A taste of Mummy2 is also seen at the very end, where there's a black, acidic(?) body of water that keeps the so called Pandora's Box afloat, and liquefies the antagonist to death.

And what the hell is Snape (of Harry Potter) doing in Croft Manor?!

Imagine this, knocking off a huge shark with your human fist?!
Well Lara Croft did! How out of this world can she get.
Heck! Lara Croft is not in this world!

Her breasts though look natural this time. It may not be as true to form or should I say as large as 36D of the original Lara Croft, but at least they don't look awkward as Jolie perform her stunts!

Well, enough of the tomb raider bashing! I still love Angelina Jolie despite this. Hope to see her 'acting' again!


My bed's missing me and we need to spend some quality time together.

Ta-ta!

Olats

tangina! ang olats ko na!
nde naman ako dati madrama e.
masayahin akong tao. alaskador.
astig! makulit! balasubas! optimistic.
logical! nde emotional. nakukuha lahat sa rason, logic.
nde ako umiiyak.

peronampucha naman o!
ang korni ko nang tao.
dinaig ko pa ang mga telenovela at mga suicidal sa pagdadrama.
andami ko nang nagawang tula.
suki na rin ako ng kazaa kakadownload ng kantang naaakma sa quagmire of a
situation ko. pati lyrics, sinusurf ko din sa google.
nagjojournal n ko ngayon! online pa!
talagang gusto ko yatang maghanap ng kakampi, karamay.
gusto kong isigaw sa world wide web--- i'm in pain! sawi ako sa pagibig! help me! (press f1!)

nde naman ako galit sa mundo.
nagmahal lang at nasaktan.
kaya pasan ko ang daigdig sa dibdib ko.
kasalanan ba yon?!
mali ba na maging mahina ako?!

aaaaarghhh!
pano ba magtransform pabalik?
teka, nagtransform nga ba ako?
o nagevolve, nagmetamorphosize?
ngii! nde naman ung gaya kay kafka na metamorphosis ha!
wala akong balak maging ipis!
kahit sila pa matitira sa earth after a nuclear holocaust.

to be continued....

Joke time

joke time muna, pampaalis ng stress.

dis made me laugh.
enjoy!

=)
------------------------

Red Tag

One night while she was on her way to the fifth floor to check on
her patient (she was on the basement) sumakay sya sa elevator. May
lady dun... silang dalawa lang. Then the door opened on the 3rd floor, they
saw a young girl running towards the elevator as if sasakay sya. The
doctor closed the door immediately.

Then tinanong sya nung lady ... "Doc, bakit nyo sinara? mukhang sasakay yung babae?"
The doctor replied.."I know her, she was my patient and she died yesterday."
The lady asked, "Doc, pano mo naman nalaman na patay na eh tumatakbo pa
nga?" The do ctor answered: "Did u see the red tag on her wrist?
Pag dead na ang patient, red tag na ang kinakabit sa wrist nila."
The girl replied while raising her wrist to the doctor....

"Doc, parang ganito?"

conversation with myself

conversation with myself

me1: are you hapi?
me2: i'm getting there.

questions

i don't know if she's aware of it.
but she's killing me gently.
ever so slow, ever so gradual.

---------------------------------------------------
questions

when does one stop hoping?
when does one say that it's finally over?

how do i begin to tell of a seeming end?
from the blossoming of a promising love?
or from the withering of the feeling?
from loving to hurting to nothing?

i love and yet i hurt.
i hurt and yet im happy.
im sane and at the same time crazy.

an encounter with josa

a poem for kaye and josa:

an encounter with josa

you aimed for the moon, sun and stars.
and like an answered prayer
the universe did conspire
and made josa descend from heavens afar

a goddess of true mold,
she is a beauty to behold.
so precious like gold,
with a stance so bold.

she gave you time,
shared her thoughts.

she gave you love,
offered her heart.

but after giving her all,
you changed, rejected her calls.

there is greater fear
than there is strength to love.

likle a tragedy from homer's opus,
she ascended back to olympus
heart shattered by you,
spirits broken anew.

the one with power
is not her.
the true almighty is you.

you,
with the strength to break somebody's heart,
but
not the courage to love.

Change

i am more relaxed now.
we've loosened up.
on my end, the intensity of my feelings for her has been lessened when she detached herself from me.
she taught me to let go. and i did. she's no longer the fire that engulfs my being.
she's now more of an occasional spark who once in a while excites me.
i'm no longer committed to her.

i've now committed to myself and that which will make me happy.
and with the change is a whole new world of possibilities opening up for me.
it's motivating.
invigorating.

Anonymous

how come anonymous encounters are often exciting?
how come it's easier to confide/consult a stranger over the most
secret stuff that's troubling you?
than a friend you're supposed to be close to?

what is it with chance encounters and anonymous connections?

Work

the best antidote or should i say distraction from emo problems is definitely work!

once you're swamped with tons of work load, you can no longer think of anything else, much more worry about a rift with a significant other.

my brain is reaching its 100% cpu usage.
aaargh! flash is really tough for me.
suddenly what's topmost impt is to beat the deadline from a project. that's looming to be delayed.

i'm so darn tired, yet highly challenged!
gosh! how i love the fast lane.

the bloodrush and excitement is almost orgasmic.
geez! i'm sounding like the nerd techie guy next to me.

oh! nooooooooo!

Master vs Slave

i am discovering that being the master of oneself is not easy.
sometimes, i want to contradict myself.
on moments of weakness i am truly enslaved by emotions
triggered by a significant other.

and it requires huge amount of effort to rise above slavery.
and be the master once more.

so vulnerable.
so tired.

Monday

it's magnanimous monday!
it will be a new start for me.

this is my mantra:

i am the master.
emotion the slave.