pride march 1

I had an overseas friend (OF) whom I was very close with. We first met in a forum, and then transitioned to regular chatting. We became close friends to a point where she's like my big "kuya" (brother). Yep, kuya. She was the one who insisted I call her kuya. And I believe fate favored our friendship because we even have the same name! How cosmic right?

We shared almost everything, from world views, life longings, personal struggles, past pains, even our gfs. Not in the sense that you're thinking, but more like being involved in the relationship.

I was her errand girl. OF would tell me what she needs/wants or what she's planning, I would give my inputs/ideas (being opinionated as I am), and then I would do the legwork. I arranged for flower deliveries, with my handwriting on the cards. I ordered food from restos (pizza, meals, etc) to be delivered to her. I made a box full of small cards printed with things OF loves about her gf and OF's plans for them. That was my idea by the way. I bought love birds for OF's gf. And I also organized a surprise birthday party for OF's gf. That was also my idea. Hehe.

One time, I saw OF's gf post in her blog pictures of the flowers and the card (which has my handwriting and my name, since we have the same name). It sorta freaked me out. I was uncomfortable because the gf was saying how "kilig" she was. For a millisecond, my mind went yikes! It somehow appeared like I got myself a second gf. Haha.

OF asked me to meet her gf, to get to know her. Maybe to watch over her gf since she's away. I don't have close lez friends then, both emotionally and proximity-wise. Gf is not out and doesn't go to g2g events. So I took OF's gf to exclusive parties, poetry nights, meet-ups with g2g (girl-to-girl) forum peeps, dyke dialogues and pride march.

Most people in those activities mistook us as couples. We always tell them we're not, but they mostly don't believe us. Tough.

Along the way OF's gf found her way to the lez scenes. OF's gf got close to the lez circle I introduced her into. And became particularly closer to one girl. I detected where it might lead to and immediately warned OF. I am not in the position to impose, only to share my thoughts and feelings.

They eventually broke up because of that particular girl. OF called me early mornings and howled her grief. OF said she needs to go away, to heal perhaps.  I respected that. Months later (or was it years?), from someone else, I learned that they got together again. Neat. Many more months (I lost count), still nothing from OF. It's been years and we still haven't "talked". OF and her gf broke up again. Her gf then now has a new gf. And I heard recently, OF also has her own gf, this time in the same country where she lives.

People come and go. Some bring someone when they enter our lives. And when they decide to go, sometimes the one they brought along is the one that stays.

My OF's now ex-gf, whom I used to send flowers for, gave stuff to, organized  a party for, who's constantly been mistaken as my gf is now my good girl friend.

To my pride march buddy, thank you for the unexpected and enduring friendship. Cheers! =)



Anonymous said...

love this entry much :)

Anonymous said...

same here, absolutely beautiful, d imagery keeps me hooked until d end and makes me wonder who this friend is. :) -w1cked

firewomyn said...

@Anonymous - thank you much! :)

@w1cked - thanks also. it's a post close to my heart :)