December and backwards

Is it just me or did this year just sped by? If I look at my work planner, I sure did scribble a LOT of stuff and completed many projects. But if I look back at non-work stuff, not a lot seems to have happened with me. Part of this I think is because I forget things. Is my memory degrading or there's just isn't much worth remembering or I just want to forget many things? Sigh. Omg, did I just go with the flow and drowned in anonymity and insignificance?! Ugh. Am not liking this post. It's getting depressing with each sentence. Right now I just feel tired.

December is a month of self-abuse. A month of holidays and long vacations - to puyat all you want with gimmicks, catch up on missed DVDs, eat all you want, spend all you want (with the justification that you deserve it or a spirit of generosity). So I confess, am spent. Physically and financially. Back to work today, eye bags, backache, dry throat (pre-flu stage), all I can think of is I want a vacation. But wait, I just came back from vacation! I was also shocked to know that with all the gift giving I did, I failed to even buy myself new clothes. Yikes. Am not really a shopper, nor a bags-clothes-shoes kind of person. And I realized whatever new clothes I had this year, were gifts from people. *hint! Hint! Lol!*

I took out half of what's in my closet to donate for Sendong. But before I can do my good deed, my sisters rummaged thru them as if I'm a tindera from an ukay ukay store and took some of the clothes! Hmp. Now I seriously need to get a few clothes for work.

It's so ironic that three months ago, I told someone that I won't be giving any gifts this Christmas. And as I was complaining to her how exhausted and haggard I am with all the shopping I did, she reminded me of my no-gifts -this -year resolve, which I obviously forgot. It's a plan, but an insane one. Am not a man of steel who can resist the influence of the season. So do I have regrets? Know what? the joy is really in giving, be it the gift of purchased item, DIY stuff or the gift of time. =)


tomato cafe said...

re: the depressing post. ganyan ba talaga pag tumatanda, you become even more conscious of time, tapos dumadalas din ang self-evaluation? hahaha

cliche daw kasi ang buhay executive eh. kahit magugunaw na ang mundo next year may projects pa rin sa pipeline. kahit lumawlaw na ng 10 inches ang eye bags and boobs natin, may deadlines pa rin.

don't worry, i'm sure you've grown wiser this year! :p

firewomyn said...

@tomato cafe - what i noticed though is that i feel zen-ner/saner this year. =) sana sahod executive din. haha.