something happyned

The other day, I was feeling utterly happy. I realized that I used to be scared of saying I'm happy. I often question myself for being brash enough to declare that I'm happy. It scared me. Parang may kokontra once I say it out. Here’s how I go schizo about it.

My happy self: I'm happy.
My doubtful self: Are you sure?

My happy self: I feel it.
My doubtful self: For now.

My happy self: Well yeah. I am happy now.
My doubtful self: Tell that to me again tomorrow or in a few hours.

My happy self: Should I stop feeling happy now because I'll be unhappy later?
My doubtful self: I'm just saying. Entirely up to you.

My happy self: I know. And it made me happy pause. :|
My doubtful self: See.

My happy self: But I truly am happy now. *smile slowly showing*
My doubtful self: Why?

My happy self: I don't know. I can't help it. I just feel it. *all smiles*
My doubtful self: Good for you then.

Weird huh? For that moment (twas morning on my way to work), I just relished with the frenzy that just sprung from nowhere. I also felt in love. Not particularly with someone, but with life. I love what I'm feeling, I'm inlove (with God knows what, but I don't care). I almost burst into a song/dance number then. It was hard to contain. Crazy me. It's like I can kiss everybody then (well not everybody, maybe just all the women of Makati. Hehe), hug someone tight and just stay that way till all the intensity and swirl in me wanes.

I said I'll document that moment in my life so that when I become sad or reflect back, I have proof that I once was happy and knows how it is to be happy.

No comments: