5.21.2010

pendulum

You might now be convinced that this womyn is nuts. Three posts ago I was tired, the next post happy, then last post, sad. This post will remove all doubts left, because now, I'm feeling a tad better as if Tuesday didn’t even exist. Living the life a-la goldfish with semi-extended memory. Hehe.

Was really depressed that day. Maybe I'm just exhausted, frustrated, hurt. I took a cold bath, maybe that numbed my senses. Slept and woke up early for work (yep, my laundered outfit dried in time thanks to the incredibly hot weather and the electric fan). Lack of sleep is another sure way to dull the senses and go robotic. So am now kinda running on auto-pilot.

I planted my earphones and sprayed my ears with music to sustain me for the day. But it did more than that. It peeled my metal coat for the day and revealed emotion. Music always has that effect on me. I listened to John Mayer's "Daughters" and the emotion dared to throb. I feel stripped and vulnerable. Did I just remember that I wasn’t much loved as a child? Maybe… but I'll forget that soon, after a cold shower and another round of sleep deprivation. :)





Daughters
by John Mayer

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls are continually changed
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too


Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the guide and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too [x3]

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

nope... you're not nuts... i also experience sudden mood changes especially before my period... it also happens when i eat less fruits & veggies and eat more fatty/oily food... lack of sleep also causes me to be initially hyper and then later depressed... but having someone or some people to talk to and filling up my senses makes me forget that i'm depressed... and yes... music helps a lot... and walking too... yeah... most of us have unresolved childhood issues...

firewomyn said...

@Anonymous - gee, thanks for saying am not nuts. i hope you're not nuts for saying that. hehe. :)

am surprised at the many causes of mood changes. i seldom eat fatty/oily food. i sleep 6-7hrs per day. i walk portions of my way to work and when i go home (in between the train, jeepney, fx, tricycle ride).

honestly, it irritates me whenever they say i'm moody because of pms. while it may be true, the idea that i'm a slave to my hormones doesn't sit well to me. mayabang lang talaga ako.

sana you placed an alias of sorts so i can identify you among the "Anonymous". :) thanks for visiting. it feels like a friend is listening to my woes and lightens the burden. i don't really have a lot of g2g friends. so again, thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

i'm chasinghappiness/knowmehateme

firewomyn said...

@knowmehateme - maybe happiness is a marathon race. and we're all on it. hehe. some are running, some pacing. cheer up we'll soon reach it. just holler if you need company :)