Usapang PDA

Maybe it's cinemalaya, the artistic freedom atmosphere, or simple self expression, for last weekend, I can't get enough of gf and just hugged her, kissed her, pinched her, squeezed her, siksik to her - in public. I was very happy of the filmfest, being with her and seeing friends that I can't help touching her. As we were walking harbour square, I asked from nowhere, "ok ka lang ba sa PDA?". To my disbelief, she replied, "naiilang ako." UH-OH. Biglang alis ng pagkakapulupot ko sa kanya. Of course, I can't let it go just like that, so I prodded further.  

Fw: so ayaw mo *defensive mode*
gf: ang sabi ko lang, naiilang, hindi ayaw.
Fw: naiilang, discomfort, in short, ayaw. *argumentative mode*
gf: Hindi naman ayaw, hindi lang sanay, kumportable.
Fw: I see. Sige, I'll stop. *passive-aggressive mode, removing my hand from hers*

For the life of me, why would you feel discomfort with your gf touching you?! I mean isn't that what couples do?! Obviously, she's from southern Venus and am from northern Venus, thus the disconnect. Am not out, but am seldom repressed. And if I love you, desire you, my actions would reflect that like in the form of PDA. Something involuntary on my end. May gf ka nga hindi mo naman mahawakan basta basta. Tae naman o. Mahirap magpigil pag gigil na gigil. Nagrereklamo ang kaloon-looban ko.  She's not out to her friends, but she's boyish-looking, so what else is there to out?! I know, am being unreasonably selfish and narrow-minded. Inis lang ako. She's just a private person and has a great amount of self control which as you can see, I lack. Hehe. Babawian ko na lang sya sa dilim. Bwehehehe.