7.13.2010

Usapang PDA

Maybe it's cinemalaya, the artistic freedom atmosphere, or simple self expression, for last weekend, I can't get enough of gf and just hugged her, kissed her, pinched her, squeezed her, siksik to her - in public. I was very happy of the filmfest, being with her and seeing friends that I can't help touching her. As we were walking harbour square, I asked from nowhere, "ok ka lang ba sa PDA?". To my disbelief, she replied, "naiilang ako." UH-OH. Biglang alis ng pagkakapulupot ko sa kanya. Of course, I can't let it go just like that, so I prodded further.  

Fw: so ayaw mo *defensive mode*
gf: ang sabi ko lang, naiilang, hindi ayaw.
Fw: naiilang, discomfort, in short, ayaw. *argumentative mode*
gf: Hindi naman ayaw, hindi lang sanay, kumportable.
Fw: I see. Sige, I'll stop. *passive-aggressive mode, removing my hand from hers*

For the life of me, why would you feel discomfort with your gf touching you?! I mean isn't that what couples do?! Obviously, she's from southern Venus and am from northern Venus, thus the disconnect. Am not out, but am seldom repressed. And if I love you, desire you, my actions would reflect that like in the form of PDA. Something involuntary on my end. May gf ka nga hindi mo naman mahawakan basta basta. Tae naman o. Mahirap magpigil pag gigil na gigil. Nagrereklamo ang kaloon-looban ko.  She's not out to her friends, but she's boyish-looking, so what else is there to out?! I know, am being unreasonably selfish and narrow-minded. Inis lang ako. She's just a private person and has a great amount of self control which as you can see, I lack. Hehe. Babawian ko na lang sya sa dilim. Bwehehehe.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

well.. nakakainis nga yun.. pero both me and gf are not out so, wiz kami HHWW.. eniwer... one time, kami lang ang tao i reached for her hand, pero binawi nya..bad trip.. pero since both of us signed up for this secret society, keri na lang..kainis nga lang minsan but some sacrifices have to be made.. tama bawiian mo na lang sa dilim...twistedhalo

Anonymous said...

hehe, you're just like my gf pagdating sa pda. waah, sobrang miss ko tuloy ngayon yun. kasalanan mo kasi... =P

- lgtnt

firewomyn said...

@twistedhalo - hayyy... yan na lang masasabi ko. pero baka pag lagi ko syang gawin, masanay din sya. hehe.may halong excitement na hirap. all part of the lovin'. :)

@lgtnt - waaaah! sowee po. dali! tell her how much you miss her na =)

Anonymous said...

easy lang sa pagbawi sa dilim ha... :)
-pola

firewomyn said...

@pola - natawa naman ako sa comment mo. haha. opo, easy lang :D

Anonymous said...

hmm.. mejo nakakarelate din ako jan.. sa aming dalawa kasi ng ex ko, ako pa yung gusto nang konting pda kahit sya yung astigas sa aming dalawa.. conservative daw sya in public pero animal sa dilim haha.. out kasi ako kaya siguro ganun.. gf ko ngaun eh butch at ayon sa kanya, conservative din daw sya in public.. ewan ko na lang sa personal, ldr kami eh.. wala lang.. - knowmehateme

Anonymous said...

i'm not comfy with pda also.. i can empathize to what ur gf feels. -w1cked

firewomyn said...

@knowmehateme - kanya kanya lang sigurong preference yan, kaya respect na lang saka pag-usapan. magkakasama din kayo then you'll know more. :)

@w1cked - why are you not comfy with it? i just want to understand. :)

Anonymous said...

don't get the notion that "we" whom aren't so comfy wid pda doesn't mean we don't like the gesture, it's just that we're not that ready yet plus the thought that somebody we know might see us... i dunno exactly sigh -w1cked

firewomyn said...

@w1cked - i know what you mean. it's just hard bec am on the opposite end of that. so yeah, part of adjustment. =)

scout said...

that's not so bad. ex ko dati ni hindi ko maka-holding hands in public. always looking around kung may kakilala sya sa paligid. that was frustrating.

though di ko nga rin gets kasi boyish-looking gf mo. baka ayaw nya lang talaga yung nagda-draw ng attention sa kanya, not necessarily about being out.

firewomyn said...

@scout - probably that. kasi she's boyish looking already then pda-ing with another girl, means more frowns from homophobes. i think i understand her na. :)

gail said...

my gf's not out pero wa siyang kiber kung mag-PDA hahaha friends do that naman daw to which I ask, "What kind of friends do you have?!?"

p.s. i missed reading your blog :)

firewomyn said...

@gail - your gf is smart. makes sense really specially if you're both femme :)

so, where have you been? and thanks for reading again. i missed you too! you owe me kwento now that you have a new gf. hehe.

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site firewomyn.blogspot.com
Is this possible?

firewomyn said...

@Anonymous - sure