to others and to some

it has been an offensive week and i am tried.

two friends i value asked me this week to meet them but only for an hour because they're meeting their other friends after. one friend asked me out also, but didn't bother to show up. and then i think i got asked for a threesome with a hetero couple. but that's an altogether different story.

every time a friend asks me out, i get excited. an opportunity to go out, unwind, socialize and touch base with people i care about. but to be squeezed in to fill a gap in their schedule like an after thought of some sort, or worse to be stood up is at first offensive and secondly sad.

am offended to be considered with such little thought and care. to be belittled to an hour's worth. but at the very bottom, it made me sad. to feel and realize that am devalued as such when i would extend my arm and leg to help them. no, this is not about "sumbat". i just thought simply that i matter to them. yes, i want to feel important. to be treated and made to feel important.

the reality check is, you give importance variable to the degree of friendship. and so, not all friends are treated equally. specially now when social network has heavily diluted the meaning of friendship to as simple as an accept friend request.

to them, i may be their last-minute-one-hour-can-dismiss friend. to some, i am the inspiration of their daily creative greetings, someone they're proud to know, one who profoundly touched their lives, a friend who makes them feel better.

i am firewomyn. i bared my heart and shared my life here to whoever cares and takes time to read. and i thank all the "somes", the anonymous readers, and more for making me feel important. =)

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why

I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds up my window

and I can't see at all

And even if I could it'd all be grey,

but your picture on my wall

It reminds me that it's not so bad,

it's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,

my head just feels in pain

I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,

I'm late for work again

And even if I'm there, they'll all imply

that I might not last the day

And then you call me and it's not so bad,

it's not so bad and

I want to thank you

for giving me the best day of my life

Oh just to be with you

is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last

and I'm soaking through and through

Then you hand me a towel

and all I see is you

And even if my house falls down,

I wouldn't have a clue

Because you're near me

And I want to thank you

for giving me the best day of my life

Oh just to be with you

is having the best day of my life