8.19.2011

to Someone

We met at the most wrong time. Recognizing that, we went on to each other's lives. Our paths missed each other and intersected years after.  This time, we welcomed the chance albeit the commitments we have. You said hi. And I replied, about time.

The floodgate has been opened and the years' past became now. A montage of pain, survival, cheers and joy. At times we wondered, in the middle  of the soul mate-like connection of ours why we're not together when it seems apparent we already are.  But since we knew that, it didn’t really bother us and we were still happy.

I was drawn crawling drunk to your vulnerability, your intelligence, your artistry, your selflessness, your beauty. You are the most damaged person I know. I fell. Picked up each piece of broken glass shard that you are. Sometimes it's smooth, sometimes stabbing sharp. Sometimes reflective, sometimes  blunt. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it's hard. I tried to understand you piece by piece until it left me bleeding and still not fully knowing.

You love me. Period. That's how simple you would explain it. You gave me a piece of your brain, your heart and your life. And I made them my own.

In an attempt to share mine, I told you my truth. Truth that is real,  truth that I didn’t mean to hurt. If you were broken to begin with, I shattered you then. And there's just too many small pieces. Each small piece you hammered to my heart in anger nail until you covered its entirety with your pain you want me to feel and suffer with.

I don't know how to think of you without sadness.  Each time I remove a nailed piece of you in my heart just leaves me wanting and hurting. I know I never said I love you to you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t. 

We may not have had the perfect timing, but  you were the wrong woman that felt perfect for me then. Please let me forget you so I can live again. 




4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It won't go away...so you accept it...you let it stay...until you're numbed by it.

- peterparker

firewomyn said...

@peterparker - i don't want to be numbed, i want to feel. but i want to move forward without sadness and just look back wiser. hopefully. :) thanks for the comment.

scout said...

hmmm... mukhang may ikukwento ka. tara, mogwai. L'ECLISSE. ;)

gail said...

"You are the most damaged person I know. I fell. Picked up each piece of broken glass shard that you are. Sometimes it's smooth, sometimes stabbing sharp. Sometimes reflective, sometimes blunt. Sometimes it hurt. Sometimes it's hard. I tried to understand you piece by piece until it left me bleeding and still not fully knowing."

Nasakto ako dito ah.