I met some lez friends weeks ago. as we were catching up with each other's lives (in short, gossip), I realized that my friends are in three forms of singlehood- brokenhearted, dating, crushing.

A friend, who's still trying to make sense of the heartbreak that hit her, accidentally saw the new girl of her ex-wife (not married, but feels like that to me after 4yrs of living together). To make matters worse, the new girl was wearin her ex-wife's pajamas! Barely a month after they (maybe just the wife) called it quits.

Maybe it's a way to jolt my friend to reality, to move on. This is one of the harsher realities of life and of loving.

If I were to make her heart as her self, and consider how shattered that heart is, then she isn't single, but more like particulated. Broken by a thousand pieces. Ouch.

This friend of mine broke it off with her crazy gf months ago. And when I say broke it off, totally severed whatever romantic emotional thread to the crazy gf. I guess that's the beauty of giving your all to someone. You can't be blamed for not trying and when the relationship ends, it's truly the last of it with that girl. My friend had closure, no regrets and can freely date without emotional baggage from an ex.

So she met this wonderful woman who is fun to be with. They enjoy each other's company too much that they know they're into something really good. They're taking it slow. Sweet slow, no rush. They go out often, and when not going out, they SMS each other to sleep. There are no talks of love or commitment or what they want of a future gf. There's no deadline, no pressure. Just discovering the newness of each other and marvelling at how surprisingly they get along. I guess my friend won't be single for long. Hehe.

Third friend has a secret crush to her close friend. She admires the girl very much because she's so smart and yeah, charming. They've been going out in the guise of friendship for so many months now. The girl, in one of their usual lunch meet-ups, held her hand. My friend was so surprised she just froze a bit (inwardly screamed YESSS!!!) and then hugged the crush in response. After that seeming milestone to their "friendship", they went back to their usual routine of polite lunch and SMSing (good morning, good night). It's like the handholding and the hug happened in an alternate reality. Did both wait on who will do the next move? Did they felt awkward after? Or did they lose the moment?

Being good, supportive friends to her, we gave some suggestions.

A. Confront the crush, tell her you like her to settle this once and for all.
*friend doesn't want to do this, too chicken, too much to lose. What if crush doesn't like her?*

B. Level up from lunch meet-up and take her to dinner w/ some drinking.
*they can be both uninhibited and talk about their feelings. Problem is, crush doesn't go out at night. Bummer.*

C. Have lunch with her and we friends will observe from a nearby table. Imagine soup chef & tennis player of L Word.
*what if, like shane with soup chef, we can't read her? Still, I think this is worth trying.*

In a few months, our friend will celebrate her one year of crushing with this girl. She's not that bothered really (only us who are affected). After all,  single is not only sexy, but also matipid. Hehe

**relationships are overrated.**

-drafted this a month ago-


Anonymous said...

and you're back in the game! :) nice entry, liked it a lot. gudnyt po -w1cked

firewomyn said...

@w1cked - thanks :)

Straight-ish said...

oh you finally post it! *smiles while reading*

any new updates from our 'crushing' friend? ;)
we definitely have to catch up... soon! :)

Crushing friend said...

Magtatago muna ko sa inyo habang wala pang updates. Nakaka-pressure! -- from 'crushing' friend na malapit nang maging 'crushed' friend.