this is for you my good friend.

i may appear insensitive, but i feel you girl. i just don't want to belabor on the pain that's already crushing you. i can't tell you that she doesn't deserve you or she's not the one. but i think both of you don't deserve each other (it simply wasn't a lasting match as what we assumed). and yeah, for a few years, she was the one and you were her one, until another one came along. so you'll find your other one, that's for sure. :)

our initial reaction was, your gf doesn't look like the type who would cheat (well, it's cheating for me because she didn't give you a chance to know the problem and address it early on. instead, she dumped it to you, one time, big time, that it isn't working and suddenly, after years of togetherness and being mum about it, there's a huge problem in paradise and eve wants out). and we were all going "sayang" because you two seemed perfect for each other. but as another friend pointed out, "wala sa itsura yan." and it's not "sayang" if one chooses to end what you have because of another. maybe it is saving you both from further pain or she's in a hurry to begin the thing with the new one. in any case, as you assured us, there's a big, big girl underneath the fragile-looking form you have. and i anticipate lots of great writing stuff from you now that you're in a significant phase/situation. yeah, that was me being selfish or seeing the good side of this awful event. one has to be the voice of optimism here. hehe. seriously, may your tears be your ink and your pain the ball to your pen.

as i was categorizing my past posts, i came across, my heartbreak song by indigo girls (fare thee well). though it may seem like a different lifetime of a different woman's past, the song resurfaced all the emotions encapsulated by my heartbreak. and i realized, it will always be a painful past of mine. what's good though is it's now in the past. this means, trite as it may sound, whatever anguish you have now, it too will pass. *hugs*

image taken from here.


Anonymous said...

ang sagot lang dito time heals all wounds... tried and tested and im still alive to prove it.. at tama ka that it will inspire one to take the pen and write.. but its no guarantee that palanca will agree..hehehe.. twistedhalo

firewomyn said...

@twistedhalo - touche! maybe bernard palanca. hehe. oist! kelan na tren natin? :)

scout said...

I never thought you were insensitive. Calling me in the middle of the night to lend an ear, setting up coffee talks with friends, and checking up on me from time to time don't count as insensitive in my book. If anything, I'm grateful for the care and support.

I don't think there's a "one". We can fall for many but we choose only one, and then it's up to us to make that relationship last. Right now, though, that's farthest from my mind. I don't want to dull an ache with another potential ache.

If anything good came out of all this, it's realizing that I still have it in me to be independent, and reconnecting with old friends & family who whole-heartedly welcomed me back.

Someday, we'll both be nothing but footnotes in each other's lives. That is both a cause for comfort and sadness. I did all I could do to fight for us and work things out, even listening to her confusion and never uttering harsh words, but it takes two to make the efforts meaningful.

What else can a human being do?

Nothing but move on and hope for better days ahead. In the meantime, learning all the lessons from this experience, remembering that there is more to life than this.

firewomyn said...

@scout - very well said =) thanks for the appreciation.

Purple78 said...

Hey, when I read this article I remembered you Scout Finch! ;)Check it out, this is from one of my fave authors -- Convention of Those Wounded in Love


scout said...

firewomyn: posted the reply on my blog. *hugs*

purple78: thanks. there are some nice tidbits there, though it seems odd to declare that "all is fair in love and war" then draw up rules to govern good behavior. naisip ko lang.

Anonymous said...

hmm if both of them don't deserve each other, how come the other party is accused of cheating? isn't it more of a blessing in disguise? -w1cked

Anonymous said...

hay kelan kaya ang mahiwagang tren ride?? as it is mukang pareho tayo bisi-bisihan. hope your firend will be okay.. if it's not meant to be kahit anong gawin it is not meant to be, ang lalim ano?....twistedhalo

Purple78 said...

Scout, I don't think those are rules for good behaviour, but guidelines to keep those who chose to love sane. ;-)

scout said...

twistedhalo: thanks, i'm doing ok. i've lined up plenty of distractions for myself. i'm hoping that they'll keep me moving on until such time when i no longer need crutches. :)

w1cked: no matter how painful the experience, there is always a bright side to everything. in this case, marami akong natutunan. sana sya rin.

purple78: ganun na nga siguro. ikaw, anong update sa'yo? dalaw ka sa new blog ko. :)

firewomyn: thanks. fixing up my cv. :)

Anonymous said...

is it trite to believe in happy endings? coz i do, just hold on.. move on and you'll get yours. God bless! -w1cked

Kim said...

a song comes to mind.

Fare thee well.
Trade in all our words
for tea and sympathy
Wonder why we tried
for things that could never be
Play our hearts lament
like an unrehearsed symphony

I have a new LSS now.

firewomyn said...

@scout, purple, w1cked, twistedhalo - happy of your discussion :)

@w1cked - trite is ok :)

@Kim - love the song! and of course Indigo Girls! :)